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“Call me when you decide if you want to fight for us, too,” she whispers, and then she walks up to him, kisses him on the cheek, and leaves.
Tim wants to run after Lucy.
He wants to open the door and run to her and take her into his arms. He wants to promise that he’ll fight, that he’ll change and figure things out and that he’ll never, ever give up on them.
He wants to, but he doesn’t.
Instead he stands in his entryway for a long time, turning Lucy’s words over and over in his head. He knows without a single doubt that he does want to fight for them. He simply isn’t willing to live in a world where he just… gives up on her.
On them.
The thing is, he doesn't know how to fight.
He doesn’t know how to make his work hours shorter, or his body and mind less exhausted. He doesn’t know how to juggle work and him and them, but he does know that something will have to give. Something has to give, or she’ll give up on him.
He doesn’t know what will give and he doesn’t know how to make it happen, but he knows who will know.
He grabs his phone, sends Lucy a text, and then leaves his house.
To: Lucy
From: Tim
I want to fight for us, baby. Give me 24 hours to get my shit together.
Dinner tomorrow night, 6pm, at my place?
He receives a response almost immediately.
To: Tim
From: Lucy
Okay. I love you.
He responds in kind, tucks his phone into his pocket, and then climbs into his truck.
______________________
“What the fuck are you doing at my house at eight in the morning,” Hicks greets less than twenty minutes later, and Tim laughs a humorless little laugh as he runs his fingers through his hair.
“I need to know how you do it,” he says, and Hicks sighs as he opens his door wide enough for Tim to walk through. He does, and he chuckles as he’s greeted with the shrieking of toddler triplets. One runs through the room naked except for a diaper, and the other two follow soon after in varying states of undress, their faces covered in whatever mush they’d had for breakfast and their chubby hands gripping toys tightly. Hicks smiles softly at them, his hard exterior melting at the sight of his children, and Tim nods toward them as he slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“Having trouble balancing home and work?” Hicks asks, and Tim nods as he follows the older man into his living room. It’s a disaster of toys and blankets and general baby chaos, but Tim finds his smile growing as he takes in the mess.
He wants this, one day.
He wants this with Lucy.
“I’m having trouble with my girlfriend because of my work hours.”
“Lucy’s a cop, though. Shouldn’t she understand?”
Tim rolls his eyes at Hicks, a little miffed that everyone just seems to fucking know about his secret relationship.
“It’s not her,” he says, because it’s not. It’s not her and it’s not him, it’s the job and the exhaustion and the worry getting between them. “It’s just… I need to know how you did it. I need to know how you balance work and family.”
Hicks shrugs and moves a train set out of the way before sitting down on the couch. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, and meets Tim’s eye.
“You’ll remember that I just moved out of Metro,” he says, and Tim nods as he sighs.
“Right. But before that. You were Metro for six years. For all of Dani’s pregnancy and the triplet’s birth and everything. She didn’t divorce you so you must have been doing something right.”
Hicks chuckles. “You just have to prioritize. Like… ok, so look, let me ask you a question. Does Lucy work 4-tens or 3-twelves?”
“4-tens,” Tim says quickly. Like most patrol officers, she prefers working four ten hour shifts over the twelve hour ones. Those extra two hours can seem like an eternity, and it’s just easier to work four on and three off.
“Ok, so, here’s what I would suggest,” he says, and Tim leans forward, his hands clasped between his knees as he listens intently. “It worked for Dani and me because her schedule at the hospital was similar to mine. I worked 3-twelves and she worked 4-tens, but I added an extra day to my schedule. I did my three twelve hour shifts in Metro, and then I went in a fourth day each week for paperwork while Dani was working. Some of it has to be done in the moment, of course, like warrant requests and arrest reports. But I made the rest of it wait. I caught up on all the paperwork in one go. I locked my door, didn’t talk to anyone, and just got it done. That way I was home by dinner eight out of every ten nights instead of only one or two.”
Tim nods slowly as he considers the idea. He’d still work the same number of days as Lucy, and he could still try and match their shifts up as often as possible… and sure, he’d be home a few hours later than her on his twelve hour shift days, but… it would be better. It would be way better than what’s happening now.
“Okay,” he says, and Hicks nods as he leans back on the couch. “Okay. I can work with that. What else?”
“Honestly, a lot of little changes add up to big change. I never took my entire lunch break; I ate a lunch I’d brought from home while I did paperwork. I didn’t hang out with the guys. I got up earlier for things like working out so that my after work hours were just for family. And, more than anything… I think it just comes down to realizing that the weight of the world is not on your shoulders. When your shift is up, if you can, go home. Leave work at work. Someone will come in to replace you, and they can take over whatever shit you leave behind. You can’t work every case and save every life or you’ll burn out. You have to take care of yourself, Tim, because if you do burn out then you can’t help anyone. I wish I could tell you exactly how to do that, but it’s different for everyone. Some of the guys in Metro just don’t date because it’s too hard. Others fight with their wives and husbands about it every day. Others, like me, leave Metro. You have to find your priorities, and then fight for them.”
Tim nods and then stands up, running his fingers through his hair as he glances around Hicks cluttered, lived-in house. He can hear the babies and Dani laughing in the other room as they play, and he finds it’s not actually that hard to figure out his priority.
He loves Metro and he’s going to try and make it work, but he knows that if it comes down to it, he’ll pick Lucy. He’ll switch divisions or go back to a desk job.
He’ll do whatever he has to.
“Thanks, man,” he whispers, and Hicks nods as he stands up and walks him to the door.
“Anytime, Bradford. Good luck, and tell Lucy I say hi. Tamara has been a great babysitter for the triplets; we love her, and we can’t thank Lucy enough for recommending her.”
Tim promises he’ll pass the message along, and then he leaves.
This time, he heads to the station.
_________________________
It takes him the rest of the day, but by the time that he lays down that night, utterly exhausted, he has a plan.
He crawls into bed, sends Lucy a simple I love you message just in case she’s forgotten that she’s the most important person in the world to him, and then sleeps like a rock for a solid ten hours.
He wakes up refreshed and determined, and sets the second part of his plan into motion.
__________________________
“Hey,” Lucy murmurs, and Tim smiles brightly as he opens his front door and ushers her inside. She hangs up her coat and then drops an overnight bag to the floor beside the entryway table, and Tim’s heart thumps heavily in his chest when he realizes that she’s planning on staying.
“You’re staying,” he breathes, his voice laced in wonder, and Lucy makes a soft noise as she walks into his arms, wrapping him in a hug and dropping her head to his chest.
“If… if that’s okay,” she whispers, and Tim hums as he kisses her hair. He holds her as tightly as he dares, breathing in her scent and wondering how he’d ever lived without her before.
“Of course it’s okay,” he says. “I was worried… well, I was worried that… you wouldn’t want to.”
Lucy shakes her head and pulls back, and Tim can smell the alfredo and garlic bread in the kitchen and knows that dinner is ready, but he simply can’t bring himself to pull away from the women in his arms.
“Tim… I love you,” Lucy says, and Tim feels relief in every bone in his body. He sags into her, kissing her hair and then her forehead and then her lips, his eyes closed as he searches for her mouth with his. Lucy kisses him back, her breath catching as their lips meet, and Tim moans as he loses himself in her immediately.
He hasn’t kissed her in days. So many fucking days, because of work and because of his own stupidity. He hadn’t kissed her goodbye when he’d left her apartment and then she’d come over and for a few brief moments he’d thought he’d never be able to kiss her again, and he thinks he would do unholy things to be able to keep her with him, to keep her lips on his and her sunshine in his life.
“I love you so much. I don’t ever want to lose you,” he whispers when he pulls away, and Lucy makes a soft, vulnerable noise as she reaches up and cups his jaw in her hand.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she says, and Tim almost interrupts her but she presses her fingers over his lips as she shakes her head. “I’m sorry, baby. I just … I was scared that you were giving up and I thought that if I pulled away first, if I was the one to give an ultimatum, it wouldn’t hurt as bad. But it did.”
“I will never give up on us,” Tim says fiercely, and Lucy whimpers as he cups her head in his large hands. He slides his fingers into her hair and holds her face so gently and stares at her with love shining in his eyes. “I figured some stuff out. I made some changes in my schedule and talked to Lieutenant Pine about what responsibilities that are non-negotiable as Sergeant and which ones I can delegate, and I talked to Hicks about how to prioritize. I can’t promise it’ll be perfect, but it’ll be better. And, Lucy, if it doesn’t work, I want you to know that I will always choose you. I will move to West Hollywood or go back to a desk job or do whatever I have to do because you are my priority now. If… if you start feeling that way again, like you’re alone and I’m not fighting for you, tell me. I will do whatever I have to do for us.”
“Okay,” Lucy whispers, and then she kisses him again, tears in her eyes and her chest heaving with the force of everything she’s holding inside.
Tim pulls her face to his, hunching until he matches her height. He pulls away from her lips for one long, charged moment, their eyes meeting, blue drowning in brown, and then he devours her. He swallows her moans and sucks on her lips until they’re swollen, and then he kisses her some more. He kisses her until she can’t breathe, until she’s panting against his mouth, her eyes closed and her fingers digging into his back, and then he flickers his gaze toward the kitchen.
“Dinner can wait,” Lucy pants, and Tim nods enthusiastically as he runs one hand from her jaw down her neck. “Talking can wait. I want… I want to talk, Tim, I want to see what I can do to help, too, whether that’s moving in with you so that we can spend more time together or helping you with your paperwork, I want to help, too. But first… first, take me to bed.”
Tim’s brain is stuck somewhere around move in with you, but he hears the take me to bed loud and clear, too.
He briefly considers the alfredo (which is never as good heated up as it is fresh), and the candles he’d lit and the flowers he’d bought her, but he decides that it can wait.
Everything can wait.
“Make love to me,” Lucy whispers, and Tim nods as he drops his hands to her thighs and lifts her. She squeals in surprise, still not used to the way he can so easily manhandle her when he wants to, and then wraps her legs around his waist.
Tim kisses her as he carries her toward his bedroom, but they never quite make it that far.
Instead he pushes her up against the wall at the same time as she rids him of his shirt. He suckles on her neck, drawing a bruise to the surface, and Lucy moans as she tugs on the dress shirt until the buttons give out. They fly in all directions, and Tim laughs against her skin as she pushes the sleeves down and off of his arms.
“I liked this shirt,” he says.
“You like me more,” she pants, and Tim has to admit that she’s not wrong. He watches out of the corner of his eye as Kojo sniffs at one of the rogue buttons, and chuckles as he turns back to the flushed, panting woman in front of him.
“I love you more than anything,” he admits, and Lucy whimpers as he moves his hands from her hips to pull on the hem of her sweater. She raises her arms and he pulls it slowly over her head, running his fingers through her displaced curls once he’s tossed it on the floor. “When you walked away yesterday, I realized that nothing was worth that. Nothing. I love you, Lucy Chen, and I was going to do this at dinner but I don’t want to wait any longer.”
Lucy watches with bated breath, her naked chest heaving against Tim’s as he reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a small, velvet box.
“Don’t freak out,” he says quickly, and Lucy laughs and licks her lips as she flickers her gaze back and forth between his beautiful blue eyes and what can only be a ring box. “I’m not asking you to marry me.” He pauses and frowns, and then adds, “Yet. I’m not asking you to marry me yet. And I know this is a little bit dorky and maybe a little bit stupid, but it’s… it’s kind of like a promise ring. I wanted to give this to you as a placeholder for the real thing, because I want you to know that you’re it for me, baby. You’re the last woman I’ll ever love. And, when we’re both ready, I want you to know that I will ask you to marry me. I want you to know that I’m all in, and I will fight for us, no matter what. I will never give up on us, okay?”
Lucy stares at Tim, tears pooling in her eyes. She’s smiling though, and her chest aches in the best way possible. “Okay,” she whispers, and she holds out her hand, her fingers shaking, as Tim opens the box and slides out a simple, platinum band. There are no jewels on it, but Lucy doesn’t mind. She immediately knows why it’s plain, and she loves him even more for thinking of it. She can wear it with her uniform; she’ll never have to take it off.
Tim slides it into place on the ring finger of her right hand, and his heart thunders in his chest as he imagines sliding a ring onto her left hand someday soon. He glances up to meet Lucy’s gaze, and he knows she’s thinking the exact same thing.
“I love you,” he whispers, and Lucy smiles, sniffling as she reaches out to cup his face in her hands again.
“I love you, too,” she breathes, and then she’s kissing him again and he’s pulling her off of the wall and walking her into his bedroom. He kicks the door closed behind them and then gently deposits her onto the bed, sliding one hand down her belly to tug on the band of her leggings. She nods and he pulls them off quickly, taking her pantie with them, and she pulls back from him just long enough to rid him of his jeans and to toss her bra on the floor with the rest of their clothing.
Tim stares at her for a long moment, standing in front of her as she scoots up the bed. She’s naked from head to toe, her skin pink and her chest rising and falling with each breath. Her hair is a puddle of curls beneath her head, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen. She’s so fucking beautiful that his chest hurts, and he makes a desperate noise as he crawls onto the bed with her. He settles between her legs, his pelvis against hers and his chest pressing into her breasts as he leans down and captures her lips again.
He makes love to her slowly that night, whispering words of love and devotion into her ear the entire time.
“I love you,” he whispers as he kisses every inch of her body.
“You’re my last love,” he breathes, and he holds her hand, his fingers playing with the ring he’d bought her, as he kisses her breasts and her thighs.
“I want a future and a family with you,” he confides as he brings her to her first orgasm, his fingers between her legs and his lips caressing her belly.
“You’re worth fighting for,” he murmurs as he pushes inside of her, and then he can’t form words anymore. He drops his head to her chest and breathes in her scent greedily as he makes love to her. His hands are in constant motion, drawing patterns on her skin and caressing her body as he shows her in a way he can’t verbalize how much she means to him.
They move together fluidly, their lovemaking a dance, a balance of push and pull as they give and receive pleasure in equal measure. They come together, their bodies sweaty and trembling, and afterwards Tim holds Lucy close, kissing her face and her hair and her lips, tears slowly trailing down his cheeks.
“You are everything, Lucy Chen, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you aren’t.”
Lucy makes a noise and kisses him back, and Tim has been loved before but he’s never been loved the way she loves him.
Isabel had left. Rachel had chosen her job. Ashley had chosen herself.
But Lucy?
She chooses him every time.
She’s chosen him over and over again, ever since the very beginning when she helped him instead of turning him into IA.
And that, he thinks, is why she’s worth fighting for.
Because she’d fight for him, too.
“We’ll make this work,” she murmurs, and Tim nods as he tucks his sweaty head into the crook of her neck. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Together,” he adds, his voice muffled in her hair, and Lucy hums as she wraps him up in her arms, the big spoon to his little spoon.
“Together,” she echoes, and Tim lets himself drift, content in the knowledge that they’ll always, always choose each other.