Chapter Text
No one really expected the truce to last in all honesty, but alas, it has been a couple months since they started it and things have been smooth.
“Funny how things work, right?” Dazai looks over to Chuuya who had followed him the entire day.
“Huh? What are you on about this time?” The executive makes a sign of annoyance and confusion towards the taller man.
Dazai laughs in response. Today was their day together since Akutagawa and Atsushi were sent on a joint mission with Yosano that would probably last up to two days at worst.
Chuuya’s frown deepens, “Are you trying to piss me off you piece of shit?”
Dazai eventually stops laughing. Then he turns away from Chuuya, “You’re always so grumpy! Lighten up, Chuu~”
That only irks him further, “Don’t call me that you damn maniac!!”
“Waaah! Chuu, you’re bullying me!”
“I said quit calling me that unless you want a fist down your damn throat!”
Dazai grins playfully. He quickly dodges the kick and makes a move to wrap his arms around Chuuya from the back. That catches his attention, and so he freezes.
The electrifying sensation knocks over his fury and topples over all the built up rage from the entire week.
Work has been tiring and Dazai knew.
Dazai also knew that Chuuya has been keeping all his anger and rage against him for years. He knew Chuuya like the back of his palm.
He knew when Chuuya was irritated and needed a break from his own restless ability.
An ability that fuels his already unforgiving rage. So, Dazai tightens his hold on Chuuya’s waist slightly.
Allowing the shorter man a chance to get used to the affection, “Thank you for your hard work this week.” he whispered.
Chuuya—now used to the sudden attack—doesn’t move away from the hold.
Many people and ability users alike find Dazai’s touch repulsive because of how ‘no longer human’ makes his palm feel uncomfortable in a way, but secretly, Chuuya enjoyed it.
He enjoyed the roughness of it. He enjoyed just how cold his hands are, and it was always because Chuuya’s body was hot.
His ability brings an uncontrollable rage that can’t be tamed, and again—only Dazai can calm the wrathful tsunami that is the effects of his ability.
Chuuya didn't realize it, but his body had relaxed. He slumps absentmindedly against Dazai’s hold.
“...Don’t touch me.” He says, but Dazai doesn’t move away because he knew Chuuya needed this more than anything.
“You say that but I know how I make you feel.” He whispers.
Tingles run through his spine, a feeling he can’t ever get rid of nor does he ever want to.
“You love it when I touch you, right?” His breath was hot on his ears. Chuuya felt his breath hitch ever so slightly.
“No. I hate it.”
“When have I ever been wrong,
Chuuya?
” He whispers again, and Chuuya feels addicted.
Heat pools in his stomach, his face hot with embarrassment.
“...Never.” He admits.
Chuuya knew what Dazai felt.
He knew, and all because they were partners before.
He knew Dazai the way Dazai knew him. He knew Dazai loved holding his waist, and he also knew that Dazai loved how he reacted to his voice.
He knew Dazai loved the way Chuuya was so weak to his whispers.
He just knew .
His hands move to hold his waist and to pull Chuuya closer if it were even possible, “Chuuya… I’m sorry.” he whispers.
Chuuya was silent for a moment. “I know you are.” he says, but he doesn’t move.
There was silence. Dazai keeps his hands on Chuuya’s waist, and then his head drops onto his shoulders.
“I had to.”
“I know.”
“Do you hate me?”
He knew the answer, but was he strong enough to admit?
Chuuya knew that at some point, he would have to fix whatever issue was left and he knew Dazai can just choose not to because that’s who he is.
“Chuu?” Dazai calls for his name.
“Shut up.”
And so he shuts up as he was told to. His lips sealed and head resting patiently on Chuuya’s shoulder because heaven knows that the executive would risk his life over and over if Dazai asked him to.
He knows what that means. He talked about this with Koyo.
“What’s love?” Chuuya had asked her one day during one of their ‘self care’ days in Koyo’s traditional Japanese style apartment.
Koyo was silent for what felt like an eternity, “Love… It’s a foolish thing to ask.” she said.
Chuuya wanted to know more. He needed to know more, why? He wonders too.
He makes a slight frown, “But what is it? Foolish or not.”
Koyo stares at him. A look of slight disapproval written across her face, but nonetheless she answers him with a sad and truthful gaze.
“Love is when you can trust someone with your life. It’s when you feel safe and at peace with whatever is troubling you. It’s when you think of them and suddenly you feel as though your heart may leap and your soul has found its home.”
She looked at Chuuya with such an intense gaze. He knew that she knew, “If ever you are to encounter such a feeling, I must tell you that it is not gonna be the greatest moment.”
“How so? You described it as though it was the ultimate paradise.”
“My child…” She whispers, “It is a feeling that can bring sorrow. It can bring heartbreak, and surely a pain you have known but still pain regardless. It will not be the same you have grown used to, and it will make you wish you had never known such a feeling in the first place.”
It will make you wish you had never known such a feeling in the first place… Chuuya always thought of that.
Even when he celebrated the day Dazai left. A part of him broke, shattered even, but he would rather go through the horrifying feeling of heartbreak than admit that.
“Do you hate me, Chuu?” Dazai asks again without warning. He doesn’t let go.
He wants to lie.
He wants to pretend he hates him so bad, but god has it been so long…
“I wish I did.” He replies, and with that he feels Dazai relax slightly on his shoulder. His hands tighten around his waist.
“Why?”
“Because loving you meant mourning the day you left.”
“I thought you had celebrated that day?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, one that did not go unnoticed.
Chuuya chuckles, “I did! I just didn’t think I’d feel hurt though…”
He whispers the last part so only Dazai could hear.
Let him know how badly that day had hurt. He needed to know just how bad it had hurt him when he left without a word.
“My child? What are you-” Koyo was cut off by Chuuya’s Voice, “He left, Koyo.”
She was silent as she watched Chuuya stand in front of her with his head hung low. He moves to stand beside her.
They both stood at the balcony that overlooked the city, it was something Chuuya had always loved about her apartment. The height, and the view.
“He was a mess. A broken glass repaired with used tape; he was beyond saving.” she had told him so coldly.
Chuuya internally flinched. It was true, “For a moment I thought he was mine.”
“For a moment you were his. He was never yours, my child. No one can wish to grasp that fickle man and make him theirs. He will twist and maneuver his way out of your tight grip.”
He was never yours… He was never Chuuya’s but Chuuya was most definitely his.
“You poor child. Had I not told you?”
“It will make you wish you had never known such a feeling in the first place. You’ve already told me…” He whispers to her.
Koyo looks over to Chuuya, and then back to the city view, “How about you go open vintage 1889, Pétrus?”
The ginger looks at the female executive with a confused expression, “What for?” he asks.
She smiles, “To celebrate the loss of a distraction.”
A distraction… Yes. That’s what Dazai was to him all these years, but deep inside he knew Dazai was more than that.
He was the reason why Chuuya would falter, or stumble in his steps.
Dazai was the reason why Chuuya had so much trust in using corruption even if he was all across the country, or even if he was supposedly ‘dead’.
Chuuya knew that the reason he was even where he was is all because of him.
“I wish I had it in me to hate you, and that’s what makes me so mad.” Chuuya says.
Dazai doesn’t move. “I hate the way I don’t truly hate you. I can say I do, but I can't even pretend to hate you and that’s what keeps fucking me up.”
“Chuuya… Do you want me to leave?” Dazai asks him stupidly. Why would he ask that?
“Was the years you spent away from the Mafia—from
me
—not long enough for you?” Chuuya asks in response.
“What? You know well-” “Then you should know that I don’t want you to leave! Some partner you are…” Chuuya mumbles.
The heat spreads to his ears and then to his face.
Dazai was still, and then he erupts into excited giggles which made Chuuya’s face turn into an annoyed expression.
“Why are you laughing asshole!?” He exclaims.
Dazai pulls Chuuya close to him. Their bodies touching and faces just inches apart, “Sorry! I’m sorry!”
The executive’s frown is apparent but his blush made him look more like a tomato with his ginger hair, but Dazai wouldn’t say that to Chuuya. Not now at least.
“You’re as beautiful as the day I left you, perhaps even more so now that you’ve matured.”
Chuuya looks away, feeling a slight hint of embarrassment. “Shut up…”
Dazai grins teasingly, “You know you love me.”
“Anyone who does deeply regrets it.” Chuuya retorts.
“So mean, Chuu!!” The detective whines as he pushes his face down to Chuuya’s cheeks.
“Ugh… Fuck off you damn mackerel!” He begins trying to pry off the far taller man off of him but to no avail, he is stuck to Chuuya the way a leech would be.
Maybe calling him a leech would be more fitting… Hm…
By the time Chuuya got back to his shared apartment with Atsushi and Akutagawa, the two had already fallen asleep on the couch.
Akutagawa had his head on Atsushi’s shoulder, arms tucked inside the blanket and all.
They were both deeply asleep. Even Gin had fallen asleep on the other couch with Higuchi asleep on her lap.
Chuuya chuckles fondly at the sight before turning off the TV and placing the blanket on them properly.
He eventually starts getting ready for his bedtime and heads to sleep in his own bedroom.
What an eventful day today was.
When Dazai came back to his apartment, he was rather surprised to see Yosano, Ranpo, and Kunikida standing in front of him.
“Where have you been?” Asked Kunikida.
Dazai smiles in a way far too genuine, “Mending broken threads.”
They stare hard at him before Yosano and Ranpo immediately figure it out.
“Ah, I see. I’m glad you finally got around to fixing it.” Yosano approaches him and pats his head fondly.
Ranpo hums in agreement, “You’re a better man now! So you better get your act straight.”
Kunikida was rather lost in the entire conversation, “What are you three talking about?” he asks rather confused and a little agitated.
“Whatever you did today, you better stop slacking off because I will not do any of your paperworks anymore.” Kunikida glares before finally heading to his own dorm.
“Good night!” Ranpo pats his shoulder before walking off in his own direction.
Yosano was the last to leave.
She pulls Dazai into a tight hug, “Good job.” she whispers.
Dazai tenses for a moment before melting into her kind embrace and hugging her back.
They stayed that way for a moment before he finally pulled away, “Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow for your weekly checkup, okay?”
The male detective laughs, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He greets her goodnight before entering his own messy apartment, perhaps he should get it cleaned up.
Or maybe he can clean it up himself so when they come over, they’ll see that he really is improving! Maybe learning a few recipes here and there wouldn’t hurt much.