Chapter Text
Bokuto Koutarou had known about soulmates his whole life. He used to see his father’s name tattooed on his mother’s right wrist whenever she brushed his cheek.
However, he was only seven years old when he learnt the real meaning of the word.
He knew his parents loved each other. It was impossible not to notice the way his father stared at his mother when she was talking about something she loved. The way his mother always made his father’s favorite meal at least once a month. The way they played with each other.
Koutarou felt loved just from feeling their love to one another.
It had been a Friday night when his mother got home too tired.
His father had made dinner already and the heels had echoed through the house as Koutarou was putting the plates on the table. They had sounded heavy and the black was noticeable underneath his mother’s eyes as she sat down.
She had complained about everything, from the tiniest to the biggest. The food had too much salt, the water was too cold.
Koutarou had been quiet, had helped his father clean the kitchen after. He had stayed on the couch a little longer after dinner, watching some cartoons trying to distract himself from his parents' screams.
“Hey champ, you’re still here?” His father had sat next to him.
“Are you and mom mad at each other?” The question had almost made the older man startle.
He had seemed to think about what to answer, “A little, yes.”
“You don’t love each other anymore?” His vision had started to get blurry.
“What?” His father had left the couch, crouched down in front of little Koutarou to look him in the eyes. “Of course we do, buddy! C’mere.”
The embrace had been gentle, reassuring.
“Mom had a very difficult week at work and she got mad because of it, but I’m sure she is feeling very very bad about it. And I’m very very sorry you had to see that, buddy…” His father had explained before looking at Koutarou again. “But your mom and I still love each other a whole lot.”
Koutarou had gone to bed then, only waking up when the sun had already been well up in the sky.
The smell of breakfast had made him get out of bed and go straight to the kitchen, however he had stopped on his tracks when he had seen his mother. She had smiled at him encouraging the little one to sit at the table.
“Do you know what soulmates are, Kou?” his mother had used the endearing nickname, putting a plate in front of him.
“Of course!” His mouth had been full. “You turn 18 and you get a name tattoo and you’re supposed to be with that person forever.”
The lady had smiled at him, “Yes, baby, but do you know what soulmates are?”
Koutarou had frowned, hadn’t he just answered that question?
His mother had sat next to him, a plate in front of her as well. She had cleaned Koutarou’s chin when some juice fell on it.
“They are your lover as much as they are your best friend,” the voice was calm, soothing even. “They are someone who will always be there through the good and bad times. They know you better than anyone else. And will always love you no matter what.”
Koutarou had looked at his mother with fascination. The food in front of him had disappeared already and his mother’s voice had been the only thing he could focus on.
“Did I ever tell you about the day I met your father?” The little one had shaken his head quickly. “It was nine years ago. He was walking his dog in the park and I was playing volleyball with some friends. His dog ran up to us and started playing with the ball and your father kept apologizing.” She had laughed, eyes shining at the memory. “The moment our eyes met, I felt a shock in my mark and I knew I was done for. We haven’t left each other’s side since then.”
There had been a gentle smile pulling her lips as if their moments together had been passing in her mind like a movie. She had looked at her son then, a hand coming to brush his cheek.
“I am sorry about yesterday, dear. But since that day I’ve only loved your father more with each passing second. Because that’s what soulmates are, you fight and you scream but you will always love them and will always find your way back to each other.”
He had looked at his mother’s mark, his father’s name tattooed on the skin of her right wrist. There had been a big smile pushing his lips upwards as he got up from the couch, hands up in the air ready to announce.
“I want to play volleyball too! And I’ll meet my soulmate playing it just like you mom!”
Koutarou had been eight years old when he started playing volleyball.
It was good for him. Through the years he started focusing and adoring it so much he had wondered if the sport couldn’t be his soulmate.
Yet he layed in bed every night and slept while imagining the most romantic first meeting. Dreamt of meeting his one person who would always love him.
The morning of September 20th, on his 18th birthday, Koutarou had woken up at 6am. There had been no alarm, no sun coming through the window. Only a sting in his left hand.
He had smiled before he looked at it.
Akaashi Keiji.
It was a ring of letters, circling the bottom of his left ring finger. His smile had gotten bigger.
From that moment on his dreams had started to have a name attached to them, even if the person was still faceless.
How was it that a person who wished to have a beautiful face to match the name, started to pray he hadn’t?
“C’mon dude, you can’t be like that,” Kuroo sounded breathless from running for almost an hour.
“It’s easy for you to say…” They made a turn, almost reaching back to their shared apartment. “Your soulmate is your childhood best friend.”
“You know we had a lot of problems before we started dating.”
Koutarou rolled his eyes, “Yeah, it must’ve been so hard to wake up on your eighteenth birthday and see the name of the person you’ve been completely in love with since you were five years old.”
He grabbed the keys to open the door, entering after Kuroo. They stepped into the kitchen, grabbing their waters and chugging it in.
“Kenma didn’t feel like that about me, and I tried very hard to hide it from him because I knew I was going to be rejected!” He spoke as if he actually believed it.
Koutarou looked at him incredulously, “You hid it for like a week because you can’t keep shit from him! And you’ve been dating since then.”
“It was actually four days and he was already losing hair over it,” Kenma entered the kitchen, eyes locked in his playstation.
Kuroo immediately went to give him a kiss, making the smaller one frown at the sweat.
Something in Koutarou’s chest clenched. The moment he was witnessing was nothing new. Kuroo always kissed Kenma whenever he saw him, Kenma always pretended not to want it when in reality it was better than winning any online game. The only thing that was different now was that Koutarou had found his soulmate and said soulmate already had someone to do those things with.
“You came home late yesterday,” Kenma grabbed three mugs to pour in some coffee. It was still 7am, Kenma wouldn’t be up this early, he probably hadn’t slept at all. “Late practice?”
“For me, yes.”
“I thought you had practice in the morning.”
“I did, but I needed to clear my mind so went there after classes as well.”
The blonde stared at him then, waiting for him to continue.
Koutarou sighed, “I saw him yesterday… At the coffee shop near college.”
Remembering it made his heart hurt.
Kuroo slapped his back, a form of encouragement. Kenma nodded slowly, sitting down at the table and taking a sip of his coffee, offering the other ones to his boyfriend and Koutarou.
“And what happened? Did you talk to him?”
“I told him the volleyball thing…” His fingers circled the mug, his throat dry but not wanting to drink it.
Kenma waited for some seconds, sighing when he didn’t continue, “And what did he say?”
“Nothing.”
It was true. It’s not like he would lie anyway, not like he could lie to Kenma.
Akaashi had stared at him, his blue eyes so dark Koutarou felt like he could drown in them. All he had heard was the sound of his own heartbeat, so loud he had wondered if it covered any words coming out of the other’s mouth. But it had been unlikely since Akaashi’s lips had remained glued together, only parting when his phone had started ringing, forming a smile at the name that had shown up.
The sound of something breaking had echoed in his ears and he wondered if Akaashi had also heard him trying to pick up a couple of pieces of his heart.
“I don’t know what to do now,” he was honest. What am I supposed to do if my soulmate loves some other guy?
“You’ll find him again and talk to him again,” Koutarou looked at Kuroo when he spoke. “I mean, it’s destiny, you won’t be able to stay away from each other for a long time.”
“Kuro’s right. You’re soulmates, whether he likes it or not, he can’t change that.”
Koutarou didn’t say anything else, deciding to go take a shower.
His head hit the bath wall. Since meeting Akaashi he didn’t remember taking one single shower where he didn’t cry thinking about him.
It’s not like he hadn’t been with people before but he had never dated one. He always thought that when he met his soulmate, they would click immediately, fall in love instantly. Perhaps he was rather innocent for thinking that, but it was true his heart seemed to have been stolen from him the moment he saw Akaashi Keiji.
He got ready for class, sad that he didn’t have practice that morning. He would probably go again after his last class anyway.
It was cold outside, so zipped up his coat. His eyes accompanied his feet as he made his way to the coffee shop, music blasting in his earphones.
He regretted the moment he looked up as there was already someone watching him at the coffee shop door. There was no mistaking the electricity filling up his whole body, his finger trembling at the blue eyes.
Akaashi had a scarf covering his mouth, a long coat down to his knees. The locks in his hair were flying with the wind and Koutarou’s heart could leave his chest from the way it started beating so hard.
“And we meet again.” Koutarou tried to make a joke, giving a tiny smile as he approached the other man.
“Looks like it,” he moved past Koutarou and walked inside the coffee shop.
He swallowed dry, frowning slightly, another piece falling to the ground.
The coffee shop was warm and he stood behind Akaashi as he made his order. The air was awkward around them, other people could probably feel it. Their orders were done at the same time like the day before but this time Akaashi was the one following Koutarou to the exit.
“I came here earlier today.” Akaashi spoke loud enough to make Koutarou stop in his tracks. “Hoping I wouldn’t find you again.”
And another piece hit the ground.
Koutarou turned to look at him. The blue eyes were staring at his cup that was being held by both of his hands, a frown settling between his eyebrows.
“I feel like the world is playing with me…” It was a whisper, such a small one.
“Aren’t you the one that is playing with the world?” The words left his mouth without permission.
Akaashi’s gaze snapped to him but the golden eyes were fixated in the ring on his finger.
“I mean, you’re hiding it with someone else’s ring. The world put my name there for a reason, something good must come out of the two of us being together and you’re avoiding it, so really… you’re the one playing with the world.”
“I’m not playing, Bokuto-san, I love Osamu.” He sounded firm, sure of his words and sadly, Koutarou knew that he was.
“Then what do you want me to do? What the hell am I supposed to do? You’re my soulmate. I want to get to know you, I feel like I need to get to know you just so I can breathe properly again! And I know you feel the same or else you wouldn’t have even spoken to me today, Akaashi.”
The wind whistled, the cars passed by and no word from the man in front of him. Koutarou knew he was right. There was a pull between soulmates. Soulmates always found their way back to each other somehow.
“I want to be the one who knows you better than anyone else.” He finalized.
“Osamu is already that person for me.” Koutarou looked down, a lump forming in his throat. He wanted to cry, his heart was hurting. “I don’t know why I spoke to you today, it was stronger than me…” he whispered the last part, Koutarou almost didn’t hear it. “I’m sorry, I’ll see you, Bokuto-san.”