Chapter Text
“I’m sorry,” was the first thing that Kuroo said. Tsukishima didn’t look at him, didn’t want to look at those sad eyes that he knew Kuroo was showing, didn’t want to let the other know that he was close to crying.
“For what?” Tsukishima asked. “For telling me that you were finally in love with someone? For showing me what kind of person you like, for showing me that I’ll never actually be those things that make you fall in love with someone?”
Kuroo didn't answer, but Kei still didn’t look up.
“Why are you sorry? Please. Do you want to know something? I'm sorry. I’m sorry for actually falling in love with you, for almost getting enough courage to tell you, and then learning that you already had someone you wanted. I'm sorry that I couldn't be friends with you at the same time as being in love with you.”
Tsukishima took in a breath, but still didn’t get a reply back from Kuroo.
Tell him the truth, Tsukki.
“Kuroo, I,” Tsukishima took in a deep breath, calming all of the thoughts that were running rampant in his head. “I fell in love with when you brought out the motivation you knew I have. I fell in love when you took the time out of your day to talk to me, to try to get to know me. I fucking fell in love with that shitty smile and that stupid hair.
He felt like he was in a match, that everything that he was saying was taking all of the energy that he had inside of him, just like a match would.
“And I’m sorry for that,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I fell in love with you in that way.”
Tetsuro still didn’t answer, and Tsukishima could feel his heart shrink, could feel his lungs become tight, and his headache to press persistently at his temple. The tears that he had been fighting for so long were finally let loose, and he felt relieved.
Relieved because he had told the truth, that he was in love with Tetsuro Kuroo, and that he was sorry that he had fallen in love with him.
Relieved because maybe now he could get a full night’s sleep without dreaming of the other male, maybe now he could breathe easily, and play volleyball without thinking of Kuroo as something more than the captain of a rival team.
Relieved because he knew that he could get over Tetsuro Kuroo without any false hope coming into his heart.
----
Tsukishima was crying right in front of him, but he still couldn't find the words that would fix all of this.
He knew that he had to, there wasn't anything else that he wanted more. He wanted to fix Tsukishima’s broken heart, wanted to fix his own.
But he had heard the pain in Tsukishima's voice, heard it in his words, and he realized that there was no way to fix it.
“Are you going to say anything?” Tsukishima asked, his voice smaller than it had ever been. “Kuroo, please say something.”
It wasn't like Tsukishima to beg like that and if that didn’t make his heart beat painfully in his chest, he didn’t know what would.
“I-,” he breathed in deeply, “I don't know what to tell you.”
He could feel his mouth moving, could feel the words leaving his throat, but he didn’t hear them as he said them.
“I didn’t know you felt that way about me, Tsukishima,” He chuckled. “If I had know, maybe things would've worked out differently.”
Fight for him.
“I don’t know if this will mean anything to you now. But I have to say it. I have to say everything, because I should've given this” -he waved his hand between them- “a shot. I should've told you Tsukishima, instead of making vague references to you.”
Kuroo closed his eyes tight so he wouldn't have to look Tsukishima in the eyes.
“I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you. I might not of known it then, but god I do now. And I’ve been a really shitty person to not tell you that. I should've just came out to you that night and told you the truth. If I had done that maybe we wouldn't be in this mess, and I wouldn't of hurt you so bad.
“Tsukki, I’m sorry. I still love you. I’ll love you for a long time, even if you don’t want me to, or you stop loving me.”
The gym was still filled with the noise from the teams warming up, but no one made any real noise so they wouldn't disturb the two standing off to the side.
He took in another deep breath, words that Kenma, Daichi and even Kageyama running through his head. He couldn't waste any more time.
“Tsukishima Kei, I’m in love with you.”
There wasn't a reply to his confession for a minute.
“Shit,” Tsukishima managed to choke out, “Why the fuck didn’t you say any of that before all of this happened, dumbass?”
His words were back to the way that it had been before everything had happened, but they sounded warmer somehow, more at easy and full of something that Kuroo had been waiting to hear.
He opened his eyes and took in the sight of the blonde first year, and felt his heart beat wildly in his chest.
Those pale cheeks had a rosy tint to them, and Tsukishima was adjusting his glasses in an attempt to take the focus away from the blush.
But it made Kuroo’s heart race even faster.
From where he was standing, he could see the light returning to Tsukishima’s golden eyes. And a smile crossed his face.
And Kuroo felt one cross his face too.
Because Tsukishima Kei was beautiful when he smiled.
----
Tsukishima stood inside of the locker room, his gym clothes in his bag, his fingers tightening around the strap that crossed his chest. He could feel his cheeks get warm with the thought of Kuroo waiting for him down the stairs, waiting to take him somewhere in the small town and then take him home.
Kuroo was going to spend the night. He was going to spend the night because they still needed to talk about this, about them, about everything.
But Tsukishima wanted to go out on a date with the older boy first, and if that meant that Kuroo was going to spend the night and sleep on his floor on the extra futon that Yamaguchi always used, then it was worth it.
Because after they talked and figured everything out, Kuroo would have to go back home, would have to return to his town, to his school, to his team.
“Everything will work out, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said from behind him. “Just give it your best shot.”
Tsukishima rolled his eyes.
“What else would I do?”
----
When Kuroo walked into the bedroom, his hair still damp from the shower, Tsukishima’s pajamas replacing the clothes that he had arrived in, he wasn't surprised to see that Tsukishima had already put a futon out for him to sleep on. The only way Kuroo knew that Tsukishima was even in the room was by seeing the blonde tufts of hair not hidden by the blanket on the bed.
He smiled, the way the conversation had gone down earlier warming his heart.
“I want to try this,” Tsukishima said, his eyes never leaving Kuroo’s hands which were wrapped around his own. “I want to try being with you becuase I don’t want to be stuck feeling like this.”
Kuroo had nodded, nodded slowly.
“Okay, okay. Let's do it,” he said, his words quiet and only meant for Tsukishima. “I love you.”
Tsukishima had looked at him, his golden eyes wide, a small stream of tears running down his face. Kuroo assumed that they weren't ones that happened because he was in pain.
“I love you too.”
---
Kei felt arms wrap around him, long, strong arms that he had spent months dreaming about, and then heard Kuroo chuckle, the air from it hitting the back of his neck. He shivered, his face growing warm.
“W-what are you doing?” Kei squeaked out, his heart hammering in his chest. Kuro laughed again.
“Tsukki, I’m not going to see you for a long time, I want to spend the night holding you,” Kuroo whispered.
“But we-I- get out of my bed,” Tsukishima said, wriggling slightly.
“Kei,” Kuroo said, his voice softer again, and Tsukishima heard how serious the other was being, “please, just, let's sleep like this. Please. I’ve dreamt about this for months now. I just need it before I go home tomorrow.”
Tsukishima sucked in a breath.
I really love him god, please let this work.
He pulled away from Kuroo, a small “why” followed by an “oh” when he turned to face Kuroo, wrapping his own arms around the other boy.
“I would rather sleep like this. I’ve wanted to sleep like this for months,” Kei said, looking at the captain.
“Kei,” Kuroo wailed, and Tsukishima buried his face into his neck.
“Shutup or I’ll kick you out of my bed.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
And Tsukishima wriggled closer to the older boy, and Kuroo wrapped his arms around Tsukishima tighter, and they fell asleep like that, both of them overjoyed that their first love had been returned.