Chapter Text
Chapter 8: Alfred Pennyworth
The warehouse turned safe-house went silent at Kyle’s words.
Tim’s mouth was wide open in shock, an expression that didn’t suit him, really.
“Kyle… for gods sake,” Jason sighed, still hanging limply from the construct around his ankle. “Fuck dude, months of work! And you just go and blurt it out?!”
“What?!” Kyle exclaimed. “Oh come on, it was so obvious- were we all really going to pretend not to notice?”
“Dick is going to be so upset,” Tim whined, actually stomping his foot. “Dammit Jason, why did you have to get Kyle involved?! He’s gone and ruined the whole thing and now Alfred is going to make us wear the stupid-”
“Hey!” Kyle exclaimed. “This isn’t my fault!”
“Ugh… How am I supposed to explain this to Blondie and Duke?”
“Explain what?!” Kyle demanded. “What is going on?!”
Hal stared at Kyle, not quite sure if this whole thing was a fever dream or if he’d lost Kyle to the bats’ insanity and his fellow Lantern was in on the whole ‘Kill Hal Jordan’ plan. Because he had heard what Kyle had just said, but he wasn’t sure he understood it.
Bruce? With feelings for Hal?
Bruce.
Batman.
The guy who called Hal an idiot every other word and routinely set his insane children on Hal in some weird, backwards revenge for a botched operation nearly a year ago.
That Bruce?
Either Hal was still asleep and he had dreamed this whole thing, which, given how ridiculous it was, wasn’t completely out of the question, or he was being punked and this was just another very convoluted plan to send him to an early grave by way of stress-induced heart attack.
The only issue was that this wasn’t a very good plan, because there was no way in Hell Bruce of all people would have feelings for Hal.
Hal snorted. “Yeah right, Spooky? With feelings for me? The only feelings Spooky has for me is contempt,” he said jokingly, glancing over at Bruce. “Right, Spooky-”
Except, Bruce was staring at the wall behind Kyle with a clenched jaw, mouth turned down in a look that Hal could only describe as hurt.
Hal’s mouth snapped closed with a click, heart dropping in his chest.
The room went still and silent for a long few moments.
“Oh shit…” he heard Kyle whisper finally. “Oh...”
Jason sighed. “Now he gets it, after he’s gone and stuck his foot in it.”
“Wha- How was I supposed to know they hadn’t talked about it?! It’s not like anyone explained anything to me before I was dragged into this mess, Jason!”
“We told you to be quiet!” Tim hissed. “Ugh- do you know how much money we had riding on this?”
“Not only that, but bragging rights. Man, I was going to lord it over Dickweed for months-”
“Wha- you… money?!” Kyle shrieked. “Jason I swear to god if you guys made a bet about them getting together, I’m going to kill you- Oh my god, you did, you always bite your lip like that when you’re guilty! Jason! What is wrong with you?!”
“It was just a lighthearted bet, no one was going to get hurt!” Tim insisted.
Hal was only half paying attention to the loud argument between Jason, Kyle, and Tim, too busy staring at the horribly hurt look on Bruce’s face. Bruce wasn’t a very emotive person, but Hal had known him long enough, spent long enough with him in the metaphorical trenches to know that Bruce was really, truly upset.
It hadn’t even crossed Hal’s mind until seeing that hurt expression on Bruce’s face, but maybe Kyle’s words weren’t so far-fetched after all.
Hal took a step towards the other man, “Bruce-” he started.
Bruce turned on his heel and walked out of the ruined warehouse.
“Bruce wait!” Tim cried. “Goddammit- This isn’t how it was supposed to go!”
“Fuck- Kyle!”
“No, no, no! You are not blaming me for this!” Kyle snapped. “I did not do this. This is on you,” he pointed at Jason, “and you,” and Tim, “and everyone else who was in on this little game, not me!”
Damian tugged on Hal’s arm and Hal blinked and looked, having forgotten all about the preteen that was still clinging to him.
The twelve year old stared up at him, face suddenly clear of tears, expression back to imperious and demanding. “Well,” he said, as if Hal was an idiot, “are you going after him?”
The arguing from the other three was getting louder and louder.
Hal gaped at the twelve year old and then looked out the door to where Bruce had disappeared. He didn’t really know what to do, if he was being perfectly honest.
Bruce… having feelings for him?
It just seemed so… ridiculous.
This was Bruce they were talking about here. Bruce, who called Hal an idiot and reckless and stupid and-
Damian let go of Hal’s arm and planted his hands on his hips, looking just like he did all those months ago when he first broke into Hal’s apartment. “Well?” he questioned, tone demanding. “Hurry up!”
Hal blinked and then hurried out the door after Bruce.
It should have been easy to find Bruce, seeing as it was the middle of the day and a six foot something, two hundred pound man in a bat costume should be easy to spot.
Except this was Bruce and somehow he had managed to vanish into thin air by the time Hal got outside.
Gotham wasn’t exactly home turf for a Green Lantern, and Hal had really only been here at night, which meant everything looked different during the day. Shockingly, Gotham looked a lot like New York during the day, tower concrete and glass skyscrapers reaching for dingy gray clouds and the occasional yellow taxi or bright green tree.
Hal scratched his head as he floated over the city, the Ring humming judgmentally in the back of his head.
He tapped his earpiece. “Bats.”
He got no response.
“C’mon Bats, I know you’re listening,” he cajoled, looking over Bruce’s beloved city in all of its noisy glory.
Nothing.
Hal turned, trying to think of where Bruce would go.
Back to Wayne Manor and the Cave would be the most obvious place, but then Hal thought that might be too obvious. He was pretty sure some of Bruce’s insane children still used it as a crash pad and given what had just gone down, he didn’t think Bruce wanted to see any of them.
And Hal was beginning to realise maybe he didn’t know Bruce as well as he thought.
Where would Bruce go? That weird Bat themed diner? The pier? That random back alley? The only places Bruce had really taken Hal were crime scenes or places where criminals hung out and Hal didn’t think those would be high on the list of potential spots to go have a manly bat cry.
“Green Lantern.”
Hal started at the pleasant British voice in his ear. “Who is this?” he demanded, already on edge from the chaotic morning.
“My name is Alfred Pennyworth, or Agent A, as Master Bruce calls me when he dons the cape and cowl,” the British voice said with no small hint of fondness. “I am the Wayne family butler.”
“Ah,” Hal said, remembering the stately older gentleman that had greeted Hal at the cave the one time he had been there when Dick had been acting like a creepy little stalker. “Alfred, yes, I remember you.”
“I’m honoured,” Alfred said and he did sound pleased. “I believe you’re looking for Master Bruce.”
“I… How did you know that?”
“I have my ways,” the butler said fondly. “But, I may be of some help to you, seeing as I raised Master Bruce for the better part of his life and I am well versed in his particular behaviours.”
Hal floated above the sprawling mass of Gotham and knew he’d never find Bruce in it, not unless he wanted to be found. “Is that the British way of saying you know where he is?”
“It is, Green Lantern.”
Looking out over the city, Hal didn’t even know where to start. He didn’t know if this was another one of the Batkids plots to send him to an untimely death, but after everything he had been through, he really didn’t know what else they could throw at him to surprise him anymore. “Sure, I could use the help.”
“Excellent. I have a few ideas on where he might, if you might indulge me.”
“Lead the way,” Hal said.
BREAK
Alfred’s instructions led Hal to a side alley and from there, he directed Hal down into the sewers.
It was eerily reminiscent of his first meeting with Bruce.
“It branches off here,” Hal said, floating in front of the 3 dark tunnels that split off from the one he was in.
“The left most one, if you please, Green Lantern.”
Hal floated down the left most tunnel, the glow from his uniform throwing strange shapes onto the brick wall. “Do I want to know how you know exactly where I am?”
Alfred huffed, clearly amused. “It is nothing nefarious, Green Lantern,” he said. “The earpiece Batman gave you has a tracker in it and given Batman’s nightly activities, I have learnt how to navigate the veritable labyrinth that is the sewers of Gotham.”
Hal wasn’t surprised to learn that Bruce had a tracker in the earpiece he had given Hal. Or that Bruce’s real life actual butler was also a co-conspirator in Bruce’s insanity. “You know that checks out for Spooky.”
“It was particularly handy during his early days, when the police weren’t as welcoming of his help.”
Gotham sure was a weird place.
Hal had been welcomed by the CCPD with open arms when he’d first gotten the Ring. But then again, he and Bruce were pretty much polar opposites in how they operated as heroes, and Gotham as a city was just more suspicious and guarded than Coast City.
“Continue left, if you would,” Alfred said quietly, as Hal came upon fork. “… I do hope I am not overstepping, Green Lantern, but I feel that I must apologise for the abominable way that you have been treated by the children.”
“I’ve heard that a lot recently.”
Alfred sighed. “Still, I feel as a parental figure to many of them, that I have failed to raise them to observe appropriate behaviour. I certainly did not expect them to take it this far.”
“Well you know, I did think they were trying to kill me.”
At that, Alfred snorted, though the sound wasn’t unkind. “I can see… perhaps, why you might come to that conclusion, but I can assure that wasn’t their intention at all.”
“Well they’d have to try harder,” Hal said dryly. “I’m the Green Lantern. I’m a bit scarier than the run of mill thug they’d run into here in Gotham.”
“I should hope so,” Alfred said warmly. “Ah, stop here and look up. There should be hatch.”
Hal paused and looked up, and sure enough, there was a hatch above his head. “Is that city issue or did Bats install that?”
“What do you think, Green Lantern?”
Hal snorted, “yeah, you’re right,” he muttered before he floated to the top of the sewer and grasped the small wheel of the hatch. It was rusted and stiff, but with a groan of metal, it unlocked for him and he pushed it up and open.
He popped out in a small dark room. It smelled musty and in the dim light creeping through the dusty windows, Hal could see the dark shadows of a tiny couch and a rickety looking table and a fold out chair that looked like it had seen better days.
He kicked the hatch closed and looked around.
To his right, there was a tiny kitchen, more of a kitchenette than anything with a fridge and a microwave. A first-aid kit sat on the counter, along with a basket of non-perishable food.
The whole place smelled vaguely of pine sol, as if it had been recently cleaned.
He could hear the sounds of the city outside as he peeked into the small doorway that led through to a tiny bathroom. Just by the still air and the faint mustiness in the air, he figured Bruce hadn’t stopped through here, but he opened the door to the bedroom anyway.
“Green Lantern?”
“Yeah?”
“Robin is young,” Alfred said carefully. “I know of your background and Batman told me of what happened when you first met Robin and I feel rather like I should tell you that he-”
“Meant well?” Hal interrupted, seeing immediately where the kindly old man was going. “Look, I wasn’t offended then and I’m not now. Kids are… curious. My niece was the same way when I got home. Lots of questions about where I’d been, that kind of thing. It’s not… I don’t mind so much.”
“I understand,” Alfred said, and by the way he said it, Hal had a feeling he really did understand.
“It’s the adults that make it worse,” Hal admitted. “You know, they get all…”
“Awkward,” Alfred said dryly. “Can’t look you in the eye. They want to know but they know they shouldn’t ask. So they hope the child might.”
Yeah. Alfred understood. “Kids are… more honest about it,” Hal said frankly. “They don’t really feel sorry for you, they’re just curious about it. I prefer it that way. And with Little Bit- Robin, well… it was like walking in on a miniaturised Spooky in my apartment- the way they talk, walk, the hair, even the hands on the hips… uncanny.”
Alfred laughed. “It truly is, isn’t it,” he said fondly. “I was just as surprised when Robin appeared at the manor one day. It was like looking back in time to Master Bruce’s own childhood.”
“You’re telling me that Bats was just as imperious and demanding as Little Bit?”
“To hear him tell it, he was an angelic child, but truly, the phrase like father, like son never applied more,” Alfred said with a chuckle.
Hal imagined Bruce as a child, in short pants and running around that giant mansion demanding things in a squeaky voice. He snorted at the image and figured that was why the man was so ridiculous and why his children were all certifiably insane. “You know, if you told me Bats had fathered all those kids… I’d believe you,” Hal said. “You sure he’s not actually their biological father?”
That got an amused huff out of the butler. “You and every other person in America has shared that thought,” he said. “They do look remarkably similar. But no, the three previous Robins are not biologically related to Bruce.”
“Are you sure?” Hal asked sceptically, squinting at the wall opposite him even though Alfred couldn’t see him. “And it’s not just looks, I mean, even the other three… uh… Batgirl One and Two and um… Robin Four? Five?”
Alfred laughed again. “Black Bat, Batgirl, and Signal?”
Hal wasn’t sure which one was supposed to be which. “I… Yes. Look my point is, all of his kids, however many he has, I’ve lost track, they all sort of resemble him in some way. The sneaking, the attitude, the cryptic talking about cows... the plotting!”
“Well he is their father,” Alfred pointed out, voice filled with laughter. “They are bound to pick up some of his mannerisms along the way.”
Hal would give him that.
“And he has seven children that he considers his own, though only five on paper.”
Hal stared, unsure of the intricacies of child kidnapping and adoption. “… What does that mean?”
“Some of them are only his wards as they still have living parents to whom they may return to in the future, if they so wish and the state deems it safe to do so,” Alfred said evenly, though his tone was cool and Hal got the distinct impression his definition and the state’s definition of safe differed quite a bit.
Hal understood about as much of that as he could, which wasn’t a lot. He hadn’t really looked too much into adoption, seeing as he was a single man and also spent most of his time… in space. “Well, as long as he doesn’t recruit them into the Justice League and he keeps the minors inside Gotham, I won’t kick up too much of a fuss,” Hal said dryly, aware he probably not find an ally in Alfred in his crusade against child soldiers.
“You don’t like it, that Master Bruce allows the children to join him in fighting crime, do you?”
Hal sighed. “I don’t like seeing kids in harms way,” he corrected. “Leave the fighting to the adults and let the kids be kids, is how I see it. I’ve seen kids fighting in wars and it’s never right. They deserve a chance to grow up without all the extra shit.”
Alfred hummed. “I see,” he said, sounding almost pleased.
For some reason, Hal felt almost like he had passed a test. What Alfred could be testing him for, Hal wasn’t sure, but this didn’t really feel like the weird probing questions that the batkids had asked. “You sound… as if you approve.” he probed.
“Do I?” Alfred asked.
He didn’t elaborate, even though Hal stayed pointedly silent for a few long moments.
“Well, Green Lantern, I take it that Batman is not there?” Alfred said instead, as pleasant as ever.
Hal put his hands on his hips, wondering if Bruce had learnt to be infuriating and inscrutable from Alfred or if that was just a side effect of growing up in Gotham. “No, no he’s not.”
“Well,” Alfred said. “I can think of one more place he might go.”
Alfred’s instructions led Hal back into the sewers and on a long, winding journey underneath Gotham. Aside from the occasional hatches that led to the outside world, the walls all looked the same and Hal felt almost dizzy from the branching tunnels and rights and lefts.
They talked while Hal flew.
Alfred had been in the British Army before moving to the States, he had a prize winning garden of roses, and apparently Damian had named a kitten after him, though no one was to mention that Damian would do such a thing.
“Ah,” Alfred said pleasantly, seemingly at random. “Stop just up ahead, if you would, Green Lantern.”
Hal genuinely had no idea how the elderly man knew where he was, or how he could tell with such precision. But he decided not to question it, because he knew he wouldn’t get a straight answer out of the man.
But at least now he knew where Bruce got it from.
“If you look to your right, you should see a service door.”
Hal looked over and sure enough, in a small inset in the wall, there was a service door. “That Spooky’s doing too?”
“It is,” Alfred said and Hal could imagine him smiling.
Hal floated over and with a grimace, landed on the slick, grime covered step by the door. He knew, realistically, that the sewers weren’t actually sewage but just grey water and run off, but it still didn’t stop the mind from wandering about the cleanliness.
“I can get you access-”
“Green Lantern, 0-5,” the door said in a pleasant, gentle woman’s voice. “Access confirmed.”
“Huh,” Hal said, a little surprised that his Justice League access had given him access to Bruce’s mini-Batcave. He’d have thought Alfred would have to do some Batmagic to get him in. “I didn’t think he’d allow that.”
“What’s that?”
“Oh, my League clearance let me in,” Hal said as the door whirred and then unlocked with a click. “I figured you’d have to do some bypassing of systems or something.”
Alfred didn’t say anything for a few moments. “… As did I,” he murmured.
Hal floated down the hallway, following Alfred’s instructions. It was mildly creepy, all fluorescent lights and long, grey walls broken up by branching corridors. Eventually, he came to another door, this one just as unassuming as the others he had seen but the Ring told him that it was reinforced and armed with a beefy security system.
Paranoid old bat.
The door unlocked for him, just as the first one had, with a gentle female voice confirming his identity.
The mini-Batcave was much less cavelike than Bruce’s actual Batcave. It was much smaller, and more modern for a start, with less stalagmites, craggy rock walls and bats and more of a repurposed bunker with flat, angled concrete walls. It was well lit by downlights in the ceiling and a sleek gray elevator was set in the wall opposite the door Hal had just come through.
But that was where the differences ended. Everything else was the same, from the overstocked medical bay at the back of the bunker, to the wall of gear and armoured batsuits, to the oversized bank of super computers that Bruce was currently standing in.
“Bingo,” Hal said, raising an eyebrow. “Found him.”
“I thought so,” Alfred said with a thoughtful hum.
Hal got the distinct impression Alfred knew where Bruce was all along but had led him on a wild goose chase on purpose. He said that.
Alfred chuckled. “You are a very sharp man, Green Lantern,” he said. “You are correct. I did know he wouldn’t be there.”
“So then why send me across the city and waste time?”
“You are aware of Master Bruce’s feelings for you, yes?” Alfred said.
“I’m aware of…” Hal stopped, really not sure how to say it. He was aware of Bruce’s feelings or at least, he had heard that Bruce had feelings for him but Bruce himself hadn’t said anything to Hal. “Yeah.”
“Well, I… am not his father, but he is the closest thing I have to a son and I would know the man for whom he cares so deeply. I simply wanted a few moments to talk to you, Master Jordan, to learn who you are.”
Hal blanched. “… And?”
Alfred laughed and even that sounded British. “I expect you and Master Bruce back at the manor for dinner,” he said. “I am making lobster, since the last time you and Master Bruce were meant to enjoy it together you were so rudely interrupted.”
The way that Alfred said that made Hal think that Dick was going to get in trouble.
“Thank you,” Alfred said sincerely, “for indulging an old man.”
Bruce had obviously heard Hal come in, because his shoulders had lifted in that way they always did when he was angry or uncomfortable. But he was a stubborn bastard and he just kept his back to Hal, staring at the big ass computer screen in front of him.
“I shall leave you two it,” Alfred murmured. “But please, don’t take too long. I don’t want the lobster to overcook.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” Hal muttered before he ended the call and pulled out the earpiece. He waved a hand and dropped it into the little pocket dimension that held his Lantern. Probably overkill, but he really didn’t want Bruce’s little horde listening in.
The mini-Batcave was quiet for a moment and Bruce seemed resolute in his ignoring of Hal.
“Spooky.”
Bruce’s shoulders rose a fraction higher.
Hal didn’t really even know where to start. He had never… dealt with a situation like this before. His line of work didn’t lend itself well to relationships or feelings and he had never really cared for it before, preferring one night stands or friends with benefits situations. Those were easy to handle, because he could come and go as he pleased and he knew what he was getting into.
But this?
He had no idea where to even begin?
What did he say?
Hi Spooky, heard you had a crush?
Was it a crush? Crush seemed like the wrong word for someone as anal and intense as Bruce, but Hal didn’t know. He hadn’t even been aware that Bruce liked him as a person, let alone romantically until Kyle had let slip about his feelings back in the warehouse.
Hal wasn’t blind and had he and Bruce met under different circumstances, he would’ve probably tried his luck getting Bruce into bed. The only reason he hadn’t was because they worked together and while Hal may be a bonehead, he wasn’t stupid enough to sleep with someone he worked with. He had learnt that lesson after the debacle with Carol and he wasn’t about to do it again, not when the Justice League was one of the better things in his life.
But now… how did Hal even begin to reconcile that and the fact that Bruce apparently had feelings for him?
And then there was the fact that, only half an hour ago, Hal had been so sure that Bruce had been trying to kill him.
Bruce had romantic feelings for Hal but Hal… wasn’t sure what he felt for Bruce. He liked Bruce as a person most of the time-
“What do you want, Green Lantern?”
Hal blinked, realising he had been standing there lost in thought. “To talk,” he said, feeling a little incredulous, feeling as if it was obvious as to why he was there. “It’s kind of ridiculous that I’m the one saying that but I… Bruce, can you at least turn around and look at me?”
Bruce’s shoulders were practically up around his ears but he turned around anyway and fixed Hal with a blank look, folding his arms across his chest. The cowl was still on but Hal could see his jaw was clenched.
Hal rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling put on the spot.
Why was this all so awkward?!
“So… this whole time, you’ve just been awkward, not trying to kill me?”