Chapter Text
The next time that Jesse parked outside the laundromat, with the morning sun glistening low in the sky, Mike’s car was parked outside already. Jesse made his way towards him with tentative steps, seeing the man leaning slightly against his car door with his hands neatly crossed in front of him. When he reached Mike he raised an eyebrow in question.
“You're with me today, come on,” Mike answered his look bluntly, immediately turning to round the side of his car.
Jesse grinned a little in response, the thought of a break from Mr White and Nacho lifting his spirits dramatically. He reached out to open the passenger seat before catching the sight of a figure already seated in the car, surprise making him freeze. Ignacio’s glare was already in place, with a small but infuriating smirk turning the corner of his mouth. Jesse’s own glare was incredulous, and he ducked down to meet Mike's eyes from the other side.
“What the hell is he doing here? Shouldn't he be, like, watching Mr White or something?” he stressed, trying to ignore the intense eyes that were fixed on his face.
“Tyrus is already down there. Get in - or don’t. We're on a schedule,” was the reply, the older man managing to look more and more unimpressed as the seconds dragged on.
Jesse stood there for a moment longer, weighing his options which - with Tyrus confirmed to be waiting in the lab - were looking bleaker by the second. He sighed to himself, the stress of the morning already getting to him, before pulling open the car door and slouching into the backseat. He felt his pockets for his pack of cigarettes, lightly patting them to make sure they were in fact in his pocket and not left on the dash of his car, and checked his other pocket for his phone. His messages were dry, a few persistent texts from old junkies who still thought he was dealing, followed by Badger asking “ what the fuck was with that dude at your house?? ” which he resolutely ignored.
The message did prompt him to look up, mistakenly meeting Ignacio’s gaze in the mirror before he uncomfortably turned away - instead watching Mike with angry eyes as the man drove out onto the main road. Remembering how prolonged and repetitive these drives usually were didn’t fill him with much hope for the next few hours of his life, made worse by the lack of music and long stretching landscapes. He settled for staring out of the window, briefly considering how his life had gotten so insane.
“Seatbelt.” Mike said into the silence, making Jesse grimace.
He pulled his seatbelt on, not feeling up for complaining, only to see Nacho do the same. He caught the man’s equally disgruntled look and let himself smirk. Still in his hand, his phone started to ring and Jesse pulled a face at the sight of Walter’s caller ID. He picked up on the fifth ring.
“Jesse!? Jesse, where are you? This guy isnt telling me anything and you are late for our work which is completely unacceptable-”
“Woah woah! Jesus, Mr White, I’m with Mike today, alright? Do it yourself man,” He felt irritation slip into his voice, seeing Nacho raise his eyebrows at Mike out of the corner of his eye.
“ Alright? No it is not alright - I need you here with me. Tyrus doesn't know what he's doing-”
“Like I do? Look man, it's not forever I’m just helping out today. I've got to go…”
“Jesse! Dont-” Walters voice was cut off as Jesse hung up the phone, tossing it next to him in the back seat and pressing his fingers to his temple to ward off the headache that he felt forming.
“You alright there kid?” Mike implored, eyes fixed on the road.
Jesse sighed, resting his head against the seat and closing his eyes, “Fine.”
The older man huffed, while Ignacio’s silence seemed to speak enough for him, before turning the car out onto a dirt road and heading further into the desert.
Their first stop was uneventful, and both of the younger men stood beside the car to stretch their legs while Mike disappeared into an abandoned shack to retrieve money hidden inside. Jesse took the opportunity to light a cigarette, letting the smoke sit in his lungs for a second before exhaling slowly. He looked over at Ignacio, who stood a few paces away, noting the way the man glanced at his smoke when he thought he wasn't looking. Wordlessly Jesse held out his pack, attempting a smile when Nacho immediately reached for them and took one out.
“Thanks,” Nacho muttered, head bowed as he took a light from his pocket and burned the end with practiced movements.
“Dont worry about it,” Jesse replied, giving his own another drag as he took back the offered pack.
They smoked in silence, feeling the unforgiving sun and staring out at flickering expanses of sand and dirt. Never one to sit in silence for too long, Jesse found himself looking back up.
“So, do you usually help Mike out? I thought I was the only one being babysat but you're, like, actually useful right?”
Ignacio did not respond for a drawn out moment, pinching his cigarette tightly in his hand, before humming, “When I can, I help him out.”
Jesse could feel his face showing his exasperation at the short answer, enough that Nacho huffed an almost-laugh and looked away.
“I think he wants to keep an eye on me, after - you know,” he said, voice wavering slightly.
The honesty was enough to make Jesse pause, turning to the man with slightly wide eyes. He took the answer for what it was - a peace offering.
“No, yeah that makes sense, Sorry about showing up unannounced and everything, man, I overthink these things sometimes…” He trailed off, unwilling to admit that he didn't feel like this was one of those times. In fact he had never felt so certain that he was talking to someone at the end of their rope. “Mike did the same for me, a few months back - took me out on these long ass drop offs while I was in withdrawal.”
This time Nacho does snort, mouth twisted in another not-smile that he so often did, “Yeah, I know.”
“Of course you do,” Jesse muttered, dropping his cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with his trainer.
“I kind of have to know, in this business,” Nacho placates, finishing his own with a long drag and letting it fall from his hand.
“You better stub that out, Varga, we don't need any more fires to put out,” came Mike's voice from behind them, startling them both, “come on, we've got a lot of ground to cover today.”
By the time they had completed seven more collections, the vast clear sky had began to smolder, turning a deep orange that warmed the grey roads before them. Exhaustion was starting to settle in, prompting Jesse to lean against the car window with a heavy sigh as he watched the landscape pass. Their trip had stretched on longer than any car-ride Jesse had spent with Mike before, making him wonder if the man had been going easy on him without him knowing. He felt that maybe he should feel indignant about that fact, however with the tiredness that he could feel in his bones the only feeling he could muster was gratitude.
Ignacio was just as silent and focused as Mike was, for the most part. He was still and quiet, reclined casually against the passenger seat with his attentive eyes scanning the mirrors and their surroundings. But Jesse found himself staring for too long and saw Nacho’s hands twisted into tight fists, white-knuckled and pressing against his knees. Absently, he wondered if Mike had seen the same thing - before he decided that Mike had definitely noticed way before he had.
The car turned to the side and started to drive down a dirt road, prompting Jesse to look around in alarm at the change of route.
“Where are we going now?”
Both ignoring him, Mike and Nacho seemed to be in a silent disagreement with each other. Ignacio had widened his eyes furiously, mouth pulled down at the sides as he unsubtly gestured towards Jesse behind him. With barely any movement, Mike raised his eyebrow in return and pointedly turned his eyes back to the road. Jesse found himself gaping in the backseat, too confused to even begin to decipher what was going on.
“So is this the part where you shoot me out in the desert for knowing too much? Because that is really shitty, guys, come on.” He groaned nervously, eyes picking out an approaching building in the distance. “Oh great, a hidden cabin in the middle of nowhere. That's not suspicious.”
“ He shouldn't be here,” Nacho gritted through his teeth.
Jesse looked at him, affronted, before Mike pulled up outside the building and stopped the car. He turned to face Ignacio with a mild frown, replying slowly, “I don't know the next time I can bring you here, Varga. Jesse can wait outside but you need to shut up and go down and see him before you both lose it. Got that?”
A stunned silence followed, though it was more sullen on Nacho’s part, before Mike opened his door and left the car. Nacho pressed his head into his hands, exhaled shakily, and followed behind with a slam of the door. What the fuck , Jesse stared after them both. He left the car, pulling another cigarette out of his pack and lighting it before catching up to where the two men stood, right in front of the crooked wooden door of the shack. The building itself was incredibly unassuming, sun bleached wooden panels and rusted hinges. He struggled to see significance in its structure until Mike produced a key from his pocket and twisted it into the lock, revealing not a room, like Jesse had expected, but a deep staircase that cut down into the ground.
Nacho started towards the stairs as if he had been pushed, but was quickly cut off by Mike's outstretched arm. He twisted towards the older man with a snarl, the curling of his lip freezing under the intense scrutiny of the older man’s eyes.
“You really don't think the kid should see what Fring is capable of?” Mike asked, voice flat.
Feeling completely out of his element, Jesse - for once in his life - says nothing. He just watches Mike's clear, sincere eyes and Ignacio’s raw expression with a deep sensation of dread in his stomach. His cigarette hangs forgotten from his fingers, the smoke drifting at a glacial pace past the men’s faces as the silence dragged on. Suddenly the tension shifts, drains away from the air around them, and Nacho sharply nod’s his head and starts to descend the stairs.
Being at a loss for words had become almost the usual for Jesse after the last few hellish days, and Ignacio and Mike managed to be the source every time. In his weary, shell-shocked mind Jesse felt almost resentful - he hopelessly wished that he had chosen to cook with Walter that morning. That thought was quashed the second it appeared, his mind guiltily providing terrifying flashes of Nacho’s strung out expression and teary eyes. For better or for worse, he was in this now. And finally, he was going to figure out what was going on. Mind made up, he dropped his smoke and crushed it under his shoe before following Ignacio’s lead.
After an endless amount of steps through relative darkness, the trio reached a metal security door at the bottom. Nacho immediately pressed to the side of the wall, leaving a small gap in the narrow stairwell for Mike to press a code into a keypad in the door and lean close to the tiny camera and microphone it revealed.
“Ermentrout. Open up.” He barked, leaning back as the door buzzed and then swung open.
They stepped through the doorway and Jesse felt his hands shake at the sudden freezing temperature, confronted with the artificial shine of fluorescent lights and a bitter smell of mildew and damp concrete. The room had bare walls, one side filled with multiple surveillance screens positioned above a desk with a man hunched over in an office chair, boxes of food and supplies stacked beside him, and the other side leading into a longer corridor that was shrouded in darkness. The man turned towards them in his chair and nodded at Mike, standing and swiftly grabbing his dark coat before slipping past them to leave. Soon the door had shut behind him and the three were alone once more, Jesse reeling with more questions than he could possibly hope to answer.
He walked up to the monitors, noticing that they were not only in black and white but also seemed to all be night-vision. Mike and Nacho didn't stop him, as he looked closer and saw that almost all of the screens displayed one room. Room was being generous, as Jesse quickly recognised that this was a cell , and not a very large one. It had a sink, a toilet, a raised block of a bed and - at the centre of the bed - was a man. He was too out of focus to distinguish, turned away from the camera’s and curled on his side. Emptiness settled in Jesse’s chest, as he turned slowly back to the others in silent question.
Mike was looking stoically back at him, crossed arms the only sign of displeasure that he projected. Ignacio, on the other hand, was looking straight through him. His eyes were wet, fixed on the monitors while his hands trembled at his sides.
“He’s in the dark again,” His voice came out as a croak, eyes not leaving the dark figure displayed on the screens.
“He is. That must be for…” Mike trailed off, stepping forward to sift through the notes strewn across the desk before picking up a scrap of paper, “- spitting in Roger’s face.”
“He should have stabbed that piece of shit,” Nacho hissed, startling Jesse with the venom that practically dripped from the words.
“Who the hell is this guy!? ” Jesse burst out, throwing his arms in the air when both men turned to stare at him. “What are we doing here!? Will someone please fucking tell me?”
Ignacio lurched forwards, briefly making Jesse flinch back before pushing past him and pressing a switch on the desk - watching the cell be lit up instantly and seeing the screens fill with pale colours. He then turned on his heel and headed down the corridor without so much as a glance back at them. Jesse felt genuine rage at another instance of being ignored, turning to Mike with an incensed expression on his face.
“Mike!!! what-” he trailed off at a faint sound from the monitors.
They both turned to watch the screens, seeing the curled up man now in colour and in detail. Trying to process what he was seeing, Jesse stared at the figure as he uncurled from the bed and shakily sat up. His hair was messy and hastily tucked behind his ears, streaks of grey cutting though his inky black curls. His clothes were not much better as he edged to the side of his bed, clad in a filthy pair of jeans, a loose button-up shirt that might have once been blue and no socks or shoes. Jesse’s eyes flickered to the source of the noise, seeing a monitor that depicted the front of the cell and the end of the corridor that led to it.
Nacho appeared on the screen, his steps hurried and deliberate as he bee-lined towards the barred wall. Not quite believing his eyes, all Jesse could do was watch as Ignacio fell to his knees before the bars and pushed his arms through the gaps. Like a switch had been flipped, the hunched man within the cell rushed forwards with a shout before collapsing to the ground on the other side, gripping Nacho’s forearms tightly and tugging him forwards to-
Oh.
All the breath left his body, his eyes widened and Jesse felt himself almost lose his balance at the shock of seeing Ignacio get deeply kissed by the man in the cell. They clung to each other desperately, pressed against the bars and traded breathless kisses between moments where they pushed their foreheads together and stared into one-another's eyes. Jesse couldn’t look away - couldn't make sense of the scene before him. At his side, Mike watched the reunion on the surveillance passively.
“His name’s Lalo Salamanca,” he said.
Jesse twisted his head around to look at him in alarm, “like Tuco Salamanca?? Like that crazy bitch who beat his guy to death in front of me?”
Mike does a sort-of-shrug, looking back at the footage, “His cousin, to be specific.”
On the screen, Lalo had started whispering, the microphone in the camera barely picking up the sound.
“ -Missed you so much, mi vida, missed you so, so much,” His voice cracked, hands cupping Nacho’s face reverently.
Ignacio let out a small sob, face crumbling in grief in a way that brought Jesse’s brain right back to the helplessness he had felt in the car - a moment that felt years away now. Nacho lifted a shaking hand and placed it over where Lalo’s rested on his cheek.
“ Me too.” he whispered back, sounding more vulnerable than Jesse had ever heard him. “ It was- it was my dad’s anniversary last week. I wanted you with me- more than anything. ”
At that, Lalo stayed silent, his bearded face tensing in sadness. He stroked his hands past Ignacio’s ears and cupped the back of his head, tilting his face until he had it buried in the space beside Lalo’s neck through the bars. Nacho’s shoulders heaved with sobs, like a dam had burst and the only thing holding him together was the tight grip the older man had on the back of his his scalp. He dug his face as deeply as he could against the collar of Lalo’s shirt, arms wrapping around the man’s torso like a constricting snake.
“ I can’t do this without you anymore, its- its all my fault. Lo siento, I can’t breathe without you- I- ” Nacho’s cries dissolved back into harsh gasps, and Jesse watched Lalo’s face on the monitor twist in anger.
He jerked back, keeping his hands on Nacho’s head to hold him in place as he met his eyes and snarled, “ this was never - ever - your fault. ”
Turning away from the screen in discomfort, Jesse began to pace the room. He avoided Mike’s searching eyes and refused to look back at the displays. There was nausea building in his throat, his skin feeling too tight across his hands, and the only thing keeping him from breaking into a sweat was the frigid temperature of the stale air around them.
“He fucking- he mentioned Lalo in his sleep at my house. Lalo Salamanca , who is - what - his boyfriend or some shit? Who is being held prisoner!?” Jesse exclaimed breathlessly, the absurdity of the situation increasing the more he attempted to process it. “Mike, I don't understand what the hell is going on. Why is he even in here, why is he- why is Nacho even- ”
“Kid. Calm down. Take a breath,” came Mike’s steady reply as he stepped closer to the panicking man and stopped his pacing with a firm hand on his shoulder. “I told you before, Gustavo’s methods of control have been extreme in the past-”
-“ It's the present day man! ”-
“-And controlling Varga is only one aspect of this situation. There are consequences, there are always consequences . The only thing better than a dead Salamanca - in Fring’s eyes - is a miserable one. Trapped in a cage, held out of reach of the world, cut off from the sun. Gone. Understand?” Mike stressed each word, looking back at the computers. “And even better to have someone to keep them alive.”
Jesse looked back as well, the two figures twisted in an embrace so tight it looked painful. Nacho’s face was buried in Lalo’s shirt, his body heaving with sobs, while the Salamanca pressed his lips to the back of the man’s shaved head. The sight was almost enough to force him to look away once more, but he resolutely kept his eyes still.
“No one deserves this, man. No one ,” he said, voice cracking around the words.
Mike sighed, his face becoming weary, “Something will be done, but not yet. You need to say nothing about this to anyone. You're only allowed to see this because something has to happen and it's going to take more than just me to accomplish it. Understood, Pinkman?”
He nodded in response, mouth dry.
“Can I smoke down here?” Jesse whispered, hands itching to retrieve his pack from his trousers.
“You can - just this once. And I think I know someone who needs a smoke even more than you,” Mike deadpanned, heading towards the corridor with a tilt of his head.
Jesse gulped, fear striking his heart, and dragged himself after Mike with heavy limbs. Constructed with large stone slabs, the walls of the corridor seemed to sap any remaining warmth from his bones. Their walk only lasted a few minutes, and before long the two men were approaching the bars of the cell - prompting Lalo to lift his head and fix his black eyes on them. There was a vaguely manic edge to his stare, iris’s as dark as a shark’s and sharp as a predator's. Up close, Jesse could make out the deep lines in his face, the slightly crooked tilt of a previously broken nose and the purple shadows beneath his eyes. At the sound of their approach, although much slower, Ignacio also straightened and looked behind him to watch them in trepidation.
The blank look stayed for a few moments, before a wide grin stretched across Lalo’s face without reaching his eyes.
“ Micheal ,” he crooned, the smoothness of his voice startling Jesse. “It's been a while, gringo .” Hia dark stare flickered over to meet Jesse’s deer-in-headlights look, and he tilted his head in question. “Who’s this?”
“Lalo, this is Pinkman. Play nice, and he’ll give you a smoke,” Mike ground out, face stormy before he looked over at Nacho and softened. “You alright, kid?”
Sniffing and scrubbing a hand over his watery eyes, Ignacio nodded his head and looked away from them to lean his head against the bars. Lalo’s stare never left Jesse, but he ran a soothing hand over Nacho’s back.
“ Pinkman. Weird name,” He huffed, a disinterested smirk curling the side of his mouth, “ ¿hablas español? ”
“Uh, no, not really,” Jesse shifted uncomfortably, before grabbing his cigarettes and hastily holding one out - careful not to get too close.
The older man grinned, rising onto his knees to reach through the bars and take it from his hand. He placed the cigarette in his mouth and stretched out his arm again, humming when Jesse dropped his lighter into his open palm. The tension was painful as he lit up, taking a long drag before sighing in contentment. Lalo eyed the lighter in his hand for a second, meeting Jesse’s eyes with a teasing smile.
“Can I keep this?”
Mike stepped forwards, exasperation evident on his face, “ No. We don't need another arson, right Varga ?” he asked pointedly.
Although Jesse had no idea what he was referring to, he saw Nacho wince in response. Salamanca seemed to notice as well, throwing his head back and laughing.
“ Sí!, sí, but that was so beautiful,” he chuckled, leaning down to press another kiss to Ignacio’s forehead as he handed the lighter back through the bars.
Looking away from the display of affection, Jesse took the lighter back and lit his own - distantly wondering how much nicotine he had inhaled that day. He was pretty sure that his pack of smokes had been full that morning, and the last time he checked he had two left.
“So how long have you guys, um, y’know… been together?” he managed to ask, grimacing slightly at his own wording.
Despite his recently-breaking-down state, Nacho still managed to snort out an almost laugh at the question, the sound causing Lalo’s expression to lighten. He took another drag of his cigarette before reaching down and pressing it to Ignacio’s lips, attentive eyes watching as the man inhaled his share before he took it back.
“Hard to say, it's been years but we've been going long distance for a while now,” Lalo smiled cruelly, watching Jesse flounder at his words.
“Right, yeah - no, of course,” Jesse stuttered, wringing his hands out before gripping his smoke like a lifeline. “...Sorry, man.”
Huffing another laugh, Lalo turned to Mike who was leaning against the far wall. “I like this one.”
Mike pressed his hand to his temple, checking his watch with a sigh. “You've got five more minutes before one of my guys comes back in, do me a favour and stop antagonising them? You’re only hurting yourself.”
The imprisoned man’s face darkened at his words, his expression flattening like a light switch had been pulled. “If I see that tall one again I'll skin him, I don't care if they put me in the dark forever.”
Nacho frowned at that, seemingly still incapable of words as he turned his frown to Mike in displeasure.
To Jesse’s astonishment, Mike came forward towards the couple and crouched down to their eye-level. He made steady eye contact with Lalo and inclined his head.
“I’m removing him from this post. You won't see him again. So behave, keep your head down, and maybe we can fix this - yeah?”
Lalo eyed him, scanning his face for deception and apparently finding none. He nodded.
“Great,” Mike straightened to his feet, turning on his heel and heading back down the corridor. “Say your goodbyes, come on Jesse.”
With a final, long look at Lalo - who looked right back with empty eyes and a faint smile - Jesse turned as well and went back to the security room. Unable to help his curiosity, he watches the couple’s goodbye on the screens with his chest aching.
Lalo had Nacho’s arms in a gentle grip, and seemed to be examining his recent track-marks. Curling slightly away from him, Ignacio ducked his chin and looked at the floor, his hands restlessly gripping his black jeans.
“Are you going to be okay?” The older man quietly asked him, “Micheal keeping an eye on you?”
Nodding his head slightly, he looked up at Lalo through his eyelashes and attempted a small, empty smile that looked distinctly wrong on his face. Jesse felt, as he watched them, that Lalo could easily read the lie.
“ Adiós cariño, I'll see you soon, yeah?” Lalo murmured, tilting Ignacio’s face up to face him with strong hands. “You’re gonna stay strong for me, aren't you?”
Nacho sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before pressing forwards and planting a kiss on the man's lips. “ Te amo .”
The Salamanca repeated the phrase back, wiping his partner’s tears away with his thumbs. Leaning away, Ignacio stumbled to his feet, keeping a strong grip on one of Lalo’s hands as he straightened out. They pulled apart like magnets, both tilting back towards each other until Nacho dropped his hand and forced himself to step away. He looked back at the older man with wide eyes, and then, with painfully heavy steps, walked away through the corridor.
He stormed past Mike and Jesse, wrenching open the security door and starting to stomp up the stairs. Mike followed behind, and Jesse found himself turning to check the screens one last time - seeing Lalo still on his knees by the bars with a hollow look in his eyes. Beginning to walk up the stairs, Jesse looked back at Lalo’s pixelated face until the heavy door fell shut and it was hidden from sight, locked away underground.