Chapter Text
Lonely—not alone.
She’s long been used to being alone, as a kid, and even now—to an extent—she’s only ever kept the close company of just herself.
Lonely, on the other hand, is a completely foreign thing to her, because not once in her life has the idea—let alone the feeling—of loneliness ever register in her mind.
Even when her brother put distance between the two of them, she only felt a need to prove herself to him. A sense of loss, maybe, but she had always known she and her brother would become closer again and it only fueled her more to do better, leaving her with no time to ruminate on said loss.
But it's different with Ayanokouji, isn’t it? It always is with him. Like he’s some exception to every rule she’s ever made for herself.
(And he is. She just hasn’t accepted it.)
She wonders if this was his plan right from the start, and knowing him—does she?—it probably was. To leave her feeling alone and empty the moment she sees the empty chair next to hers, to chip away at her feeble walls inconspicuously only to construct it much sturdier and higher for her.
And now that he’s succeeded, he leaves. He leaves knowing that she’ll miss him, even if she’ll never admit it.
He leaves her.