Chapter Text
The next time Soobin sees Yeonjun is at his Psychology class. He knows it’s inevitable but he can’t help but dread it all the same. A few days had gone by and he was getting used to going from never seeing Yeonjun to watching him every day. He’d been going to the cafe more often- not to catch a glimpse of him, no. It was just the one cafe with coffee that suited his tastes. Hueningkai had been an angel about it, asking no questions though Soobin could tell that he had questions. He had started enjoying Kai’s company too, it felt easier getting closer to him after knowing they had many common interests.
One evening, Soobin’s phone pinged with a voice message from Yeonjun. When had he unblocked him again?
“Heyy sooobinah. I’ll only say this once listen carefully. It’s good that you’ve moved on but, but could you pleaseee not rub it in my face?” it went silent for a second, sounds of edm music and chatter from other people could be heard. The younger couldn’t resist the smile that creeped on his face. Yeonjun was definitely drunk. Then he spoke again, “I know I fucked up alright? If you want to punish me, please. Watching huening replace me…..i don't know if I can watch that happen baby. If you just give me a second chance, I promise I'll be better, much much better- also don’t you like older guys? Huening’s so much younger…he wouldn’t get you like I do. Sure he miiight be taller than me but I can wear heeled boots you know that right? Please..”
This was so cliché. But Soobin couldn’t help falling for him again. Just when he had tried to move on. But he wouldn’t let him in so fast- he couldn’t. They had already gone through this once and failed, they would have to make sure this time would be different. Was Soobin ready for that? Maybe not. Was he willing to try as long as Yeonjun improved? 100%.
In an impulsive decision that beomgyu would 100% yell at him for, he clicked on Yeonjun’s contact and called him. The phone rang for a second before the older picked it up. “SOOBIN? Is this you? Am I hallucinating? Wooyoung ah, am I dreaming?” Soobin let out a quiet laugh while he heard Wooyoung yell at Yeonjun for being a stupid drunk. “Yes hyung, it’s me. Where are you?”
“I- I’m at this club near our dorms..don’t worry I was just planning on going back. The vibes here are terrible- the alcohol even worse.” Yeonjun slurred out. “I’ll come get you, you sound terribly drunk. Oh unless Wooyoung’s dropping you home.” Soobin nervously mumbled, he knew Yeonjun probably wouldn’t decline his offer but he couldn’t show him that either.
“I’d love to see you instead of Wooyoung..” came a faint whisper, as if he hadn’t meant to say it out loud. But he had and Soobin couldn’t help but find it adorable. He sighed, “Ok hyung, i'm leaving now.”
“hmmm…hyung can’t wait.”
As Soobin approached the club, he saw Yeonjun curled up at the entrance, “Did you wait long?”
“Noo I just stepped out. Thanks for coming..” The older sniffled as he looked up at Soobin with dazed eyes. Soobin sighed into the cold as he shrugged and bent to meet Yeonjun’s eyes.
“Yeah well, I couldn’t just leave you like this.”
Yeonjun lifted his head, his flushed cheeks “You could have…”
“Yeah but I chose not to.” he scoffed.
“Thank you”
They stared, unsaid feelings rising to the surface until Soobin broke the silence. “Let’s get you home now, come on” He straightened himself and helped Yeonjun up. He tidied up the older’s clothes while he felt the latter’s eyes on him.
“Bin-ah”
“Hm?
“Soobinnn”
“What?”
“Look at me.”
The younger scoffed, a grin forming on his face as he looked up. As soon as their eyes met, Yeonjun crashed into his arms with the desperate hope like a drowning man finally finding air.
“I’ve missed being able to do this.”
Soobin stood, as if his feet were glued to the pavement. A simple hug had knocked the air out of his lungs and filled it with a bittersweet scent of nostalgia. He had missed this too. He just hadn’t realized how much. And he had never thought that having the older in his arms again would make him feel so much.
“You know… we really shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered, his breath warm against the older’s ear.
Yeonjun didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he gave a slow, reluctant nod and loosened his hold, breaking the hug. But when he looked at Soobin through half-lidded eyes, his hands instinctively came up to cradle his face, soft and trembling.
“We really shouldn’t have broken up either,” Yeonjun murmured, his voice low and tight. “But… here we are.”
Soobin let out a faint, bittersweet laugh. “You’re wrong about that. We needed to break up, Jun. We weren’t healthy for each other. Hell, we probably still aren’t.” He paused, searching Yeonjun’s eyes. “But you… you don’t seem to believe that, do you?”
The older shook his head firmly, his voice breaking. “Soobin-ah… if we weren’t good for each other, then why can’t I stop thinking about you?” He swallowed hard, eyes glistening. “Everywhere I go… you’re there. In my bed. In the kitchen. On the couch. At the studio when I’m working late, wishing you were next to me like before.”
His fingers tightened slightly on Soobin’s jaw as his words tumbled out in a desperate rush. “Maybe you think I wasn’t good for you, and maybe I wasn’t, but I can change. I will change. You’re it for me, Soobin. You’ve always been. In my head, you’ve always been the endgame. And I… I still want you to be.”
His voice cracked, a soft sniffle escaping before he continued, quieter this time. “If you don’t want to try again, I’ll understand. I’ll take it. But…” He hesitated, searching Soobin’s face with pleading eyes. “There has to be some part of you that still loves me, right? You can’t just… forget what we had this fast.” He panted as he finished speaking, still looking at Soobin, searching for any sign of hope he could cling onto.
Soobin sniffled as he looked away from him, Yeonjun could see his glassy eyes reflect the streetlights shine. When he finally looked back at the brunette, his lips parted as if to say something but no words came out. Instead he saw the younger's eyes drop to his lips, he leaned; a silent plea for what he’d been yearning for. And the next thing he knew, Soobin’s hand was gripping his waist, the other on Yeonjun’s neck bringing him closer.
“You’re obsessed” Soobin whispered, he heard Yeonjun chuckle as the space between them disappeared. The older’s body lit up with goosebumps as he finally felt Soobin’s lips on his. It didn’t feel like fireworks, wasn’t a steamy kiss rather it felt like the fire that had extinguished miserably was lit up again, Yeonjun felt his body warm up as Soobin’s fingers roamed all over his neck and collarbone, clutching his satin shirt as if he never wanted to let go.
When they finally broke apart, Soobin smiled as their foreheads stayed connected. He opened his eyes to look at the older, his eyes holding resolve and determination this time. So many things unresolved and unsaid, he would clear them all out but for now he would try. “Alright. You’re right, let's give it a shot.” And the way Yeonjun lit up upon hearing that, Soobin wouldn’t trade it for the world.