Chapter Text
Fives had no agenda at first. He had no expectations or thoughts of a future. All he knew was that there was this beautiful woman sitting in front of him, offering him her dessert. She was his commander, but hadn’t allowed her troopers to stand at attention in her presence, as they were trained to do around Jedi. Instead, she was watching him with blue eyes that were bright and warm, and somehow her gaze alone had altered his heart rate.
He did what he always did; he turned it into a joke. An exaggerated marriage proposal seemed perfect because no one in their right mind would say “yes” to someone they just met, let alone a clone. It worked and Fives got to watch with satisfaction as the entire table broke out into a mix of groans and cackling. He didn’t care about his brothers’ reactions though. Despite the way he shrugged when she turned him down, the remainder of her reaction was all he cared about. When her maroon lips widened into a smile and her blue eyes met his, he knew that face would stick in his mind permanently.
He was done for and he realized he was alright with that.
Fives had always been open to new experiences at 79’s, especially when those experiences involved an attractive lady. When Ahsoka began joining him and his brothers at the bar though, he felt the unexpected urge to suppress his usual habits. He told himself it was because he didn’t want his commanding officer to see the way he would flirt and drink until he lost the need and ability to think. He couldn’t even fool himself with that line of thought though because, really, he wouldn’t have given a kriff if Skywalker had been there.
He tried to maintain his usual routine, even if just a watered down version of it. Perhaps the only thing worse than her seeing him with another woman—not that she’d care—would be if his brothers noticed the shift in his behavior.
He managed to uphold his ruse that everything was the same, but it wasn’t. Not when she was sitting with his brothers and some magnetic force was constantly pulling his gaze back to her. The ability and desire to tear his eyes away waned with time, as did the fulfillment he gained from his trysts. Then one night he realized that he couldn’t even pretend to be interested in kissing someone that wasn’t her. His solution was to drown himself in liquor until he silenced the persistent longing in his heart.
At the time, he was pretty sure it was one of the worst decisions he’d ever made. His drunken self proposed to Ahsoka, yet again, but that wasn’t the most alarming thing he’d done that night. Her arm was around his back and suddenly all he could think about was how close she was to him and how good she smelled. She looked up into his eyes and then all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. So he did. On the cheek, but still. She hadn’t asked for it or expected it, and he’d passed out right after, which meant he couldn’t blurt out the apology that he immediately wanted to give.
Fives felt as though he was in a constant state of panic throughout the following week. He’d kissed his commander and her week-long training session at the Jedi Temple sentenced him to a week of overthinking every possible scenario he might face when she returned.
Only Echo could tell him just how many regs he’d broken, aside from the unspoken rule he’d violated when he kissed a woman without first making sure that she was alright with it. Because she probably wasn’t. Why would she be?
But as much remorse as Fives felt for his actions, he couldn’t deny his primary, selfish concern. That he’d most likely screwed up any chance he might have had to be with her. If he didn’t know it before, he knew it then. As a clone, he’d never dared to want much out of life but now, all he wanted was to be with Ahsoka. Not that he could never expect to be so fortunate. When she finally returned to the Resolute, all he could do was apologize for his drunken actions and hope that she’d at least forgive him.
But she didn’t just forgive him. She told him she couldn’t stop thinking about him kissing her and, when he took the leap and asked her out for real, she said “yes.” The first time he hugged her, he knew he never wanted to let her go. For some reason he would never be able to fathom, she said she felt the same way.
He wasn’t sure exactly when he decided he wanted to propose for real. Of course he knew marriage wouldn’t be practical when battles were a part of their everyday lives. He and Ahsoka were already committed to each other, and even that relationship was more than he ever could have asked out of his meager life. He should be more than satisfied.
But the longing was still there, trapped in his heart, constantly trying to push its way out, and refusing to give up on the possibility that maybe, somehow, he and Ahsoka could have a real life together one day. That feeling only intensified with time, until one day it slipped out in the form of a question.
It was the fourth time he’d proposed to her, but the first time he truly meant it. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once, and when she turned him down, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.
He knew her reasons were valid. Even if they could somehow make things work around their duties, who would marry a Jedi and a clone anyway? So he held her and kissed her, and told her it was alright. He’d take anything he could get and he would remind himself repeatedly that they would still be together, just not in the way he’d hoped. But he'd be lying if he said it didn’t hurt.
The fall of the Republic and subsequent rise of the Empire was a tragedy for the entire galaxy, but there were still spots of light amongst the darkness. For the first time, Fives and Ahsoka had the freedom to be together, without any rules to restrict them.
Ahsoka had insisted on splitting up, for everyone’s safety, but reassured him that they would still be committed to each other. He still missed her though, every day. Each time they had to part ways again, the pain of her absence seemed to intensify. It got to the point that Fives wasn’t sure he cared about what danger being with her might put him in. He just wanted to be with her.
The last time he proposed for real, it had been an impulsive question in the wake of passion. As much as he’d meant it, it hadn’t been the least bit planned or thought out. This time, Fives was determined to make sure he did this right. He didn’t have much, but he would give her everything he could, no matter how much that actually was.
He planned it for the next time they would see each other. He rented a motel room, made her favorite porg sandwiches, and even got her a rose and used a beer bottle as a makeshift vase. He set up a picnic for them, complete with music, so they could dance together after they ate.
Everything was perfect. Except one thing. She still turned him down.
Fives felt like his heart was ready to break when she told him she couldn’t commit to him that way. The only reason it didn’t shatter completely was because of her next words. She did want to marry him and she did want him to ask her again, just not yet. It was the best and worst thing he’d ever heard. He was ready and, if he was honest, he didn’t want to wait for them to be together. But at the same time, if it was for Ahsoka, he’d wait forever.
The final time Fives proposed was about two years later, on the peaceful island of Pabu.
He arrived about a day before he knew Ahsoka would, so he could prepare. Between missions for the Clone Underground, he’d been working odd jobs to save as many credits as he could. He wanted to make sure that this proposal was more elegant than the last, though he did intend to save most of his earnings for his and Ahsoka’s future life together.
Fives felt like he was walking on clouds as he got to work on his preparations. Hunter helped him pick out the perfect location along the beach for the proposal itself. Phee lent him an ornate table and chairs whose origin she had explained, but he’d promptly forgotten. Omega and Crosshair’s girlfriend, Arlo, had accompanied him to town to help him pick out the perfect outfit and bouquet of flowers for the occasion. Then Wrecker had joined them at the market to help Fives pick out the ingredients he needed. Finally, Echo arrived to help with the food preparation itself.
“Fives, are you sure about this?” his twin asked, as they began laying out the array of ingredients on Tech and Phee’s kitchen counter, which they’d been given permission to use.
“Of course,” Fives responded brightly. He’d never been so sure of anything in this life.
Echo sighed and set down the knife that he’d only just picked up. “You know I love Ahsoka and I love how happy she makes you, but…”
“But what?” This time Fives faced him and crossed his arms. He had a feeling where his twin was going with this.
“She’s also turned you down every time you’ve proposed to her.”
“Oh, come on, she would have been crazy to say ‘yes’ those first few times.”
“You know what I mean.” Echo took a step closer and set his hand on Fives’ shoulder. “I just don’t want you getting hurt again. I know you say it’s okay because it’s her, but she nearly broke your heart last time. That’s not fair to you.”
Fives shrugged. “Eh, I’m the one who messed up, so it actually is pretty fair.”
His brother’s light eyes widened slightly. “What are you talking about? She’s the one who kept rejecting you.”
“Because she wasn’t ready,” Fives said defensively. Then he leaned back against the kitchen counter and took a breath. “I was so focused on how much I wanted to take that next step that I didn’t even consider whether or not she wanted the same thing. I didn’t even ask.”
The realization had struck him shortly after the last time he’d proposed. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the tears streaming down Ahsoka’s face, a sight he’d only seen a couple times before, when she voiced her fear that he’d leave her because she wasn’t ready for marriage. It was the furthest thing from the truth, but how could she have known? They’d never stopped to have a straightforward discussion about their future and, instead, Fives had forced her to make one of the heaviest decisions of her life on the spot.
They had only just parted ways again for their respective missions, but Fives had commed her anyway and insisted that they find a way to see each other again as soon as possible. He had to make this right.
It still took several weeks before they could meet up again, which meant several weeks of remorse weighing down Fives’ heart. He knew he could just message her or tell her over a comm call, but he felt like this was something he needed to do in person.
They were finally able to rendezvous on a relatively deserted planet, where they planned to spend a few nights together in Fives’ ship. He hadn’t wanted to blurt out his thoughts as soon as he saw her, but he’d held them in too long already. The moment she stepped onto his ship, he threw his arms around her.
“Fives, what’s going on?” she asked, hugging him back. “Are you okay?”
“Ahsoka, I’m so sorry.”
She stepped back and took his hands, her blue eyes round with surprise. “For what?”
“For only thinking of myself and not considering what you wanted.”
“What?” She blinked at him as if the thought had never occurred to her and that only made him feel worse. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”
He shook his head. “Yes, I do. When I proposed a few weeks ago, you said you couldn’t because you’re not ready, but I should have known that and I shouldn’t have even put you in that position if you weren’t ready to be in it.”
She was silent for a moment, her gaze now trained on the floor between them. Then she stepped forward and laid her head on his chest as she wrapped her arms around his torso. His arms reflexively encircled her again.
“Before I met you, I never thought anyone would propose to me,” she said against his sternum. “Joking or not,” she added with a small chuckle, before her voice grew serious again. “I guess I just don’t know how this all works. Doesn’t the man propose to the woman when he’s ready and she says ‘yes’ or ‘no’? That’s what I’ve always seen in holos and with people I know.”
“But that’s the thing. Why should the guy be the only one who gets to decide he’s ready?” He squeezed her tighter. “Ahsoka, last time I asked you, you broke down crying. I don’t ever want to be the reason you feel that way.”
“It’s okay, Fives.” She leaned back to look at him and lifted a hand to cup his jaw. “I’m okay.”
He brought his hand up to cover hers. “It’s going to be different next time.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you I’ll propose to you again and I will, but only when you’re sure you’re ready.”
“But isn’t the proposal supposed to be a surprise?”
He shook his head. “I don’t care what it’s supposed to be. I can keep the exact when and how a surprise, but I won’t ask again until you tell me you’re ready.”
She stared at him for a long moment before whispering, “What did I do to deserve you?” He thought he saw a shimmering around her eyes, but before he could be sure, she was pulling him down into a kiss.
It took about a year and a half, but during that time, Fives felt more at peace in their relationship than he ever had before. He still wanted to marry Ahsoka one day but, now they’d finally had an open conversation, he was content to wait as long as she needed.
It was when they were cuddling in bed one night that she told him. He was holding her from behind, her body lining up perfectly with his, with his forehead leaning against her rear lek, so he could breathe in her familiar scent every time he inhaled. He was about half asleep when she spoke.
“Fives?”
“Yeah?” he answered drowsily, not opening his eyes.
He felt her turn her head and her montral brushed past his nose as she twisted her upper body so she could see him. He cracked open his brown eyes to see her blue ones gazing back.
“I’m ready,” she whispered.
He was fully awake now. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Fives felt like his heart burst, flooding his entire being with love and elation. He spent the rest of the night kissing her, holding her close, and showering her with as much of that love as he possibly could. To everything he did, she responded with equal passion. It was the happiest he had ever been in his life because, though he still planned to propose for real, that night was the first time he knew, without a doubt, that he and Ahsoka would be spending their lives together.
As soon as Fives finished his story, Echo pulled him into a hug. “I’m so proud of you,” he said into his brother’s ear.
“Thanks, Echo.”
“So what you’re telling me is that this proposal is more of a formality?” Echo raised an eyebrow as he stepped back.
Fives shrugged. “You could call it that. Or you could call it doing something nice for my future wife.”
“Well, whatever it is, she couldn’t have found a better partner.”
“Thanks,” he repeated, feeling the now familiar sensation of joy spreading through him again. They were still at war and the galaxy was far from safe, but Echo was here and today, Fives and Ahsoka would be taking the next step in their relationship. After all they’d been through, everything was falling into place. “Now come on, help me with these. She’s going to be here soon!”
Ahsoka knew the moment that Fives suggested meeting on Pabu that he was planning to propose to her. In the past, the thought of committing to marriage had been terrifying and confusing for her because it was never meant to be part of her life as a Jedi. Then, after she left the Order, her life had been too much of a question mark for her to seriously consider the long term. But everything was different now.
It was when Fives told her that he was going to wait to ask again until she told him she was ready that she knew. She’d known for a long time that she wanted to spend her life with him, but it was the first time that she felt a longing stir in her chest. That she didn’t just want him, but needed him.
She couldn’t tell him yet though. Even a year after Order 66, shadows still lingered in her mind, not yet allowing her to see well enough to view her own future. As time passed and her trauma refused to leave her, there were times when she feared that Fives would grow tired of waiting for her, but he never did. He always returned to her and he never stopped reminding her how much he wanted to be with her. It was his unwavering commitment that stabilized her as she healed.
Now, as her shuttle set down on one of Pabu’s docks, her heartbeat was pounding from her chest into her fingertips. She felt simultaneously excited and nervous in the best way possible.
Fives was waiting for her at the edge of the dock and the instant she saw him, her feet pushed off, carrying her towards him as quickly as her body would allow. When she reached him, he caught her in his arms and spun her. Their lips found each other even before he finished his rotation and set her back down.
“You ready?” he asked when the kiss broke. He was still holding her, leaning down to press his forehead against hers.
“I’m ready. Where are we going?” Neither of them bothered to act as if she didn’t know exactly what was about to happen.
“The beach, by the cliffside.”
“I know where that is,” she said, stepping back. While descending towards Pabu, only a few minutes earlier, she’d spotted the stretch of beach that met a cluster of rock formations along the edge of the island. “Race you!”
She took off running before he could answer, but only seconds later heard his laugh and footsteps closing in on her. Then he was beside her, grinning with triumph and she silently cursed her shorter legs that couldn’t outrun him without the help of the Force.
“Nice try,” he said and somehow shot her a wink while sprinting. She expected him to pull ahead of her, but instead he reached for her fingers and they ran the rest of the way hand in hand.
As they came to a halt at the edge of the beach, Fives took a moment to straighten out his shirt. “You know, I was trying to look nice for you.”
Ahsoka had been so excited to see him that only now did she notice the navy blue shirt that he was wearing, a few buttons open at the top, and the gray pants that hugged his legs just enough to tempt her to stare. She felt a tinge of heat on her cheeks that definitely wasn’t from the exertion of their run.
“You always look nice.” She stepped forward and lifted on her toes to kiss his cheek.
“So do you.” He caught her around the waist and slid his hands down to her hips. She could feel the warmth of his palms through the thin fabric of the dress she was wearing. She’d chosen blue as well, though a lighter shade, closer to the 501st’s signature color.
He leaned in to kiss her lips and for a brief moment, she completely forgot that they’d come here for a specific reason. Fives clearly didn’t though because he pulled away after only a few seconds and took her hand again. He led her out onto the sand, but at a more leisurely pace this time.
She wasn’t sure if it had been intentional or not, but Fives had managed to select the perfect day for this occasion. Pabu’s air was warm with a light breeze that ruffled the trees across the island and took just the right amount of edge off the heat. The sun was already dipping in the sky and, when Ahsoka looked out over the water, the seaspray seemed to sparkle in the light.
It was only a couple minutes later that she spotted their destination. An elegant, silver-white table with matching chairs awaited them. Upon the table, sat a bouquet of red and white roses inside what looked like a crystal vase. Along with it, was a three-course meal, including roasted flora, grilled porg, and…
Ahsoka gasped as she caught sight of the ovular purple pastries. “Are those jogan fruit tarts? How did… Do they even have these on Pabu?”
“Nope. I made them,” Fives explained, beaming proudly. “You won my heart with one of these tarts, so I was hoping to do the same for you.”
She shook her head with amusement. “Fives, you already won my heart ages ago.”
“And I plan to keep doing so.” Then he was kneeling in front of her and taking her hand in his.
The sun had begun to set over the water, directing its light onto Fives’ eyes, turning them a warm, golden brown. In his gaze, Ahsoka saw his devotion, their future, and more love than she’d even known was possible. Her vision blurred slightly, just as it had the last time he’d knelt in front of her this way, only now her tears weren’t of dread, but of the purest joy she’d ever experienced.
He squeezed her fingers, bringing her back to reality as he opened the small, black box that had appeared in his other hand. In it, was a silver ring with white stones lining the band and a sparkling blue gemstone affixed to the top. It was the same blue as her dress and the same blue as the armor he wore when they met.
“Ahsoka, I love you more than anything in this galaxy.” The words were similar to what he’d said last time but now, the smile on Ahsoka’s face widened and her heart soared instead of sinking. “You’re the smartest, strongest, most beautiful person I know and just being with you motivates me to be the best version of myself. I know you said I’ve already won your heart, but I don’t want to stop. If you let me, I’ll do everything I can to win it again and again, for the rest of our lives. Ahsoka Tano…”
Her smile was so wide now that her cheeks were starting to hurt and she could already feel herself nodding. They’d been through so much together, probably more than most people went through in a lifetime and for so long, the darkness around them had prevented her from seeing what lay ahead of her. But now, when she looked into Fives’ loving gaze, she saw their future together more clearly and vibrantly than ever before.
She knew exactly what her response would be and, when he said it, she didn’t hesitate.
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes.”