Chapter Text
A familiar weight pushes down onto Technoblade’s chest, the weight of consciousness.
He hears gasps for air not from him.
HOLY SHIT
TECHNO
The voices. How could he forget? And since when do they need oxygen to survive?
It comes back to him in glimpses. Being in the kitchen, then holding Tommy, the snow, the red glow, the feeling of bliss. He misses it.
“Mate! You’re awake! Kristin! He’s awake!” He looks around to find himself in a dark abyss of a room, sitting up on a bed, and Philza grabbing his face. “Your eyes are back to red! It worked!” Philza coos and checks Technoblade for any injuries.
“Phil?” Technoblade readjusts his eyes and sees the man smiling widely, his green eyes wide and his usual green garments on along with their matching earrings and red heart necklace he wears to mark his accomplishments. Looking behind him he finds a familiar person, Lady Death, or Kristin, Philza’s wife, towering above the both of them. How the fuck Philza managed to marry the literal goddess of death will forever be a mystery to Technoblade. Her presence makes the room chill and eerie in a way, an intense impact that seems to affect everybody aside from Philza.
“You remember!” Philza’s arms wrap around Technoblades sides and he’s hugged tightly, he falls backwards onto the soft bed and laughs, hugging Phil back. “I thought I lost you for a second there mate.” Philza says at a more reasonable volume, still holding him closely as if he really had died.
Technoblade never dies!!!
Stupid demon never stood a chance.
We lit almost died you people are beyond me
“What happened? Why am I in purgatory?”
“I rushed you to Kristin as quickly as I could along with that prime awful demon, she extracted your soul from the cretin and gave it back to you, that prime-awful disgusting creature almost stopped me from getting back to you.”
“Thank you, Kristin.” Technoblade says at a normal level, Kristin can hear everything in this plain, there's no point in exerting himself to yell. Philza lets go of Technoblade.
“You’re welcome.” Kristin responds, her voice is enchanting in a way that reminds Technoblade of what he imagines the pressure and comfort of death may be.
“Where is Tommy?”
“I was wondering when you’d ask that.” Kristin nods in a contemplative way. “He’s here, it’s in your hands his fate, though I think I know what you’ll choose.”
Pangs of pain and thought hit his forehead, as he remembers bits and pieces.
“What- what happened to me?” Philza runs to explain on a rant that would have more than likely included damning on the demon's livelihood and ends with at least one tear spilt but is beaten to it by Kristin.
“You summoned a demon without understanding the entirety of how demons function. It’s much easier to take a soul when it’s willingly given up which is where the trope of demon deals comes from, but it’s not the only way a soul can be stolen. Tommy slowly took your soul from you, piece by piece. At first he had essentially no impact as you still had the Blood God’s blessing of strength, but it wore off. Your soul was taken piece by piece until your heart let it go due to affection for the demon. Whether the care you had for it was real or part of his magic isn’t something I can say for certain.” Kristin explains calmly, with an even tone to her voice. Her stature of over 100 feet tall is intimidating, to say the least, he feels stupid for not knowing this incredibly sparse knowledge not accessible in any form besides from Lady death herself.
“Why don’t you tell the world this?” Technoblade asks after a moment. “How demons work, I mean.”
“It’s an ecosystem, you can’t just rip out a lion's claws and teeth and expect the ecosystem to stay just as balanced and in check as before in the name of a faulty sense of justice.”
“Isn’t she so elegant? Her speech is so graceful.” Phil hums to Technoblade with a bright smile.
“Whether you understand or not, I leave it to you to decide what to do with the demon.” Tommy appears, frightened to no end and trapped in a small cage with bars of a dull, glowing violet. It’s almost unbearable to look at.
“Let him go.” Technoblade stands at once and takes steps towards Lady Death, trying to threaten her as if any threat towards her could really be taken seriously.
“As you wish.” The cage vanishes along with Tommy.
“It will never not baffle me that the Blood God allowed you to falter in such a manner, it’s almost comical.” Kristin comments. “Farewell”
“Wait!” Philza takes flight and swoops around a bit before Kristin opens her palm and Philza lands in it. They exchange a bit of conversation Technoblade can’t hear before Kristin shrinks into a more human size, still a foot or so taller than Philza, and allows him to give her a parting kiss. She smiles, something only possible if Philza’s the cause.
A warp returns them to the overworld, Technoblade has always hated the feeling of any kind of portals or teleportation, it’s uncomfortable, it feels as though a clone of him is being made at his destination and he’s reborn in a crude sense of the word each and every time.
The crisp feeling of the snowy air filling his lungs brings him comfort.
Home Home
Wrong person dumbass
We can’t have anything
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Home is wherever Phil is. So why has he felt like something's missing?
Technosoft
Kristin explained it to him, and told him it could still be the curse, or magic, or whatever it is demons possess that makes him miss Tommy so much so.
He remembers hugging Tommy, adoring him as a little brother. Was his perception of Tommy his doing as well? Was that just how his mind responded to the fact his soul was being torn from him?
The fact that his heart willingly handed over his soul at one point has stuck to him. He remembers the feeling of the exact moment, the pain and numbness. He recalls the moments leading up to it, distinctly the feeling of love and care he held for Tommy. It’s not common whatsoever for him to feel that, only really towards Phil. He struggles so much to feel empathy for any living being.
Techno walks into the kitchen to find Phil preparing tea. The blue cup hasn’t moved from the shelf, it sits there alone as Techno and Phil’s mugs are on the countertop. Philza has no clue the significance of that cup, or else he would have destroyed it already.
He notices all of the blues, the sky outside the window with constant snowfall is similar to Tommy’s eyes, the kettle, the curtains. Every shade of blue reminds him of Tommy.
“Mate, are you okay?” Philza asks, sliding his mug towards him.
“I’m fine.”
“You- look.” Phil stops and orders his thoughts, staring at the counter with both hands on it before looking up at Technoblade. “I know you miss the demon, but you need to understand it’s an evil entity, it’s capable of absolutely nothing besides destruction, you can’t resummon it or try to get it to play nice, it knows nothing besides greed.”
“What are you trying to say?”
Philza looks like he’s going to speak again and explain himself, but Techno speaks sooner.
“Phil, I’m nothing but the Blood God’s servant. I am an evil entity. Am I capable of nothing but violence? Do I know nothing but greed?” Technoblade spits the words like acid. “I’m worse than a demon, I’m the most powerful, evil, violent spirit this world has ever seen. I thought you knew that, I thought you knew that and cared for me despite it.” He’s nearly yelling now. “You’re married to Lady Death! Can she not possess emotions of love or care in her cold unwavering heart?”
They sit in silence for a moment.
“I’m so sorry, you know I didn’t mean it like-”
“I’ll be back.” Technoblade pours his tea into the sink and quickly wipes out the cup before placing it on the shelf beside Tommy’s.
“Take your time, mate. I’m sorry.” Philza does look like he means it. Technoblade knows he means it. He forgives him instantly in his mind the second he can see true remorse in his eyes.
Techno puts on his red cape and walks outside, down to the training area he has set up. His muscles still ache when he exerts them too much. It frustrates Technoblade that his own body has chosen to betray him. He swings with a wooden sword with just as much skill as before, hitting just as hard, and swinging with just as much force as he normally does, opting to ignore the pain and fatigue in his body.
LETS GOOOO
WE WIN THESE KEEP GOING!!
WE WANT BLOOD!
Chants for Technoblade to continue training and screams for blood remind him of how long it’s really been since his last kill. He’s nearly never gone this long without the feeling of an indescribable euphoria of bloodlust and praise from the chorus in his mind.
He wishes this training dummy could bleed. Only fluff spills from the seams as he continues. If his body wants to fail the Blood God can cure it, a sacrifice will help.
He throws his sword down and stalks the tundra, through dead trees and thorned berry bushes.
He spots a deer carefully eating berries. The Blood God’s favorite animal sacrifice. He moves carefully. God how he missed this, he feels excitement rise through his core.
BLOOD!!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
KILL IT.
He slits its throat cleanly and throws the dying deer over his shoulder as its blood fills its lungs.
He brings it inside to the altar to find the old deer still laying upon it. He takes a moment to say a prayer, letting the corpse flake off into ash as if it has been burned alive until it vanishes, the blood seeping deep into the altar, clearing it.
He places the fresh deer upon it.
Technoblade’s hunting knife carves into major arteries down its neck and into its body, blood pours down the altars grooves in streams. He feels strength course through his being, it’s a wonderful feeling he had truly missed.
“Thank you for this blessing.” He says with a grin on his face to no response aside from the voices continued cheers. Cold air hits him for a moment then stops, is there a crack in the window? Technoblade goes over to inspect the small window, it’s unlocked but closed completely. He locks it and leaves.
In the kitchen he washes his hands carefully not to use too much water as he always is and acknowledges Philza’s presence with a nod.
“Phil, what are you making?” Technoblade instantly speed walks to Philza’s side, peering over his shoulder which is easy to do at his height the second he sees what Phil is doing.
“Your favorite.” Phil smiles, stuffing the potato skins off the counter with a mix of potato, sour cream, green onion, and pieces of cooked beef with a fancy spoon from the bowl he mixed them in. The hope of having double baked potatoes is what gets Technoblade up each morning.
“You brought potatoes back from Snowchester?”
“Of course I did mate, how could I not?”
“You’re the greatest gift to this world, Philza.” Technoblade smiles.
A beat passes.
“Can I apologize?”
“I forgive you.” Technoblade says.
Philza stops what he’s doing and turns to face Techno, “I do know everything has emotions and feelings and even demons are capable of care, just anything coming close to harming you disturbed me. I wanted to kill it immediately, I hated that it got anywhere close. And when I did come home it played these fucked up mind games with me, I got dizzy and lost and confused, I don’t even remember most of what happened. I know this is important for you, feeling empathy for someone other than me is a huge step and I’m so proud of you, I just have to accept it’s a demon.”
It is a very sincere apology, and Technoblade understands where his hate is coming from when rage bubbles up in his stomach at the notion that something harmed Phil or messed with his mind in any way.
“You’re so much more than just the Blood God’s servant.”
A few moments pass, Technoblade goes wide eyed, processing the words as they leave Philza’s mouth.
“Thank you, Philza.” Philza smiles softly and turns back to stuffing the potatoes.
“You can try to summon the d- Tommy. You can try to summon Tommy again if you really cared about him that much, Kristin agreed to keep a careful eye and step in if anything of the sort happens again.”
“Give her my sincerest thanks.” Technoblade says. “And I think I just might. After dinner.”
“Sounds like a plan. I can’t promise I’ll like him, though. But I’ll give him a chance.” It’s obviously a conscious effort to use “him” instead of “it”.
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
There’s always wanderers in the woods around the crater that is L’anburg. They make easy prey. They calm the voices, and fulfill his purpose, the Blade’s purpose. Maybe they’ll bring back Tommy.
The warmth of the plains is always pleasant, the cold is harsh and unforgiving in the tundra, but it provides sanctuary and distance from most everyone else.
He doesn’t let them get far, or play with them as much as he usually would, he’d really like to get back before dark and not have to solo a whole army of idiot soldiers because they heard the scream of a comrade at the moment, he has better things to attend to.
NOOOOOO
20v1 TECHNO!!!!
This is no funnnn
He ends up dragging in a few bodies through the front door and into the center of the living room he's already moved the rug from. Philza stands in the doorway and stares as Technoblade draws the symbol with the book as reference with the blood of the sacrifices. Phil can be just as cruel as Technoblade, yet holds much more empathy for the dead despite knowing they’re going straight to his wife’s hands.
Technoblade recites the incantation the same as he did before and nothing happens. The room lay still for a few moments before a single eye appears for a split second, floating mid air, as if Tommy’s attempting to reject the summoning.
Techno waits for a few minutes, even repeating the incantation once or twice as Phil oversees it all but nothing more appears.
“He was there for a glimpse, I saw a blue eye.” Phil comments as Technoblade cleans the area, saving the sacrifices to give to the blood god instead.
“Phil?”
“Yeah, mate?”
“Could you get me a few books from Snowchester’s library tomorrow?”
“Which ones?”
“I have a list.”
“Of course I can, Techno.” Phil smiles. If Phil visits Snowchester he’ll most certainly visit Tubbo and Ranboo, which he’s been doing more recently. Even if the theory he’s thinking up doesn’t work out he does need to borrow a few books anyway.
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Once Philza leaves, with many promises of coming back before the end of the day and asking Techno to stay safe, he pours water from the sink into the kettle.
From the shelf, he takes down the blue and red mug on the middle row, then tea leaves from the cabinet, and honey.
The kettle whistles. Technoblade pours the water into both mugs along with the tea leaves in a metal strainer for each. After a few minutes he takes out the strainers and uses a spoon to scoop Snowchester honey into Tommy’s cup.
Technoblade sits on the couch and places Tommy’s cup on the coffee table.
“I know you’re here.” Technoblade offers the empty room. “It’s okay to come out.”
Minutes pass, Techno lets the quiet sit and sits back into the couch, grabbing his book from the side table.
Within five minutes, Tommy materializes at his side, leaning against him.
“I’m sorry.” Whispers through the air, again, and again, and again. He presses his head against Techno, his horns pushing into Techno’s side.
“It’s okay, Toms.” Technoblade says simply as Tommy fades in and out of a physical form while crying, scrunched up against Techno. “I know you didn’t want to by the end, I know at least some part of you regrets it.” Techno tries to articulate his thoughts into words, taking a few moments before speaking again, “Either way my soul won’t let me be at peace without you, I think.”
“I- I know.” Tommy responds through small sobs. “You don’t fucking care, it’s just this magic shit making you care!”
“I think I do. You remember everything that happened. Is that usually how people react?”
Tommy takes a while to calm himself enough to be breathing uninterrupted by sobs, but still uneven, before shaking his head no.
“You thought it was weird how connected I was to Phil as the Blood God, right?” Tommy nods.
Techno pauses.
“You don’t have to abide by your “nature” or what you’re meant to be.” He says before editing it a bit, “I’m still the Blood God’s servant, and I still have the voices, I’m still violent at times, and destructive.”
“You’re so much more than just the Blood God’s servant.” Phil’s voice replays in his head, just the sound calms him. The moment it ends the voices celebrate their amazing recreation and babble about how useful and amazing they are.
“But I’m so much more than just the Blood God’s servant.” Technoblade repeats. “You’re more than just a demon.”
“I’m not, I hurt you, the only one who ever-.” Tommy whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
Techno thinks it over in his head, remembering blurry sounds and visions. He remembers what he said when he was comforting Tommy, how much it seemed to mean to him.
“You are more than just a demon, because you’re my little brother, Toms.” Technoblade says, making sure to even his speech, sound confident and absolutely certain to reflect how he feels.
Tommy’s breathing stabilizes. Technoblade feels his body lose some of the tension it was holding as he leans against Techno.
“You can’t just say that! I’m nowhere near that! You don’t mean it!” Something in his voice tells Techno he knows he meant it, he sounds comfortable, confident that Technoblade won’t jump to hurt or attack him anymore.
“You gonna drink your tea or keep clinging to me?” Techno may care for Tommy, but physical touch still isn’t something he adores.
Tommy smiles and wipes the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of Techno’s sweater he must have stolen at some point or another. The soft, baggy option of Techno’s blue sweater contrasts Tommy’s usual ouji pieces of reds and blacks.
Tommy lets go of Techno and sips at the tea in his blue, cloud decorated mug.
“I didn’t want to, you know.” Tommy says, seriously. “I did at first, I wanted to be the demon who captured the Blood God’s soul, be respected and shit. After a few days I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible, I drew it out as long as I could, I kept your friend away, I did everything to keep the process at bay.” He confesses. “I guess it’s like, I just like- Fuck you! Making me act all fuck’n mushy.”
“Bruh.”
Techno smiles at the sudden switch up in Tommy’s tone. The difference between twenty minutes ago with him scared of Techno hating or hurting him to now is astonishing.
Tommy stands, drinking his tea while walking in circles, his red tail flicking behind him.
“I swear on prime, I will never hurt you again.” He declares loudly. “If you’ll let me stay.” He adds, pausing in his tracks and turning to Techno for his reaction.
“Of course you’re staying. I’m too used to your shenanigans around the house by now.”
Tommy’s confident demeanor returns to him. “I’ll be right back!” He sets his empty mug into the sink and disappears into thin air.
Techno should be distrustful of Tommy if he were letting just logic and survival decide. Unfortunately for his fate and destiny, Techno will live his own life, undetermined by the Blood God or any other entity.
Tommy reappears less than a few minutes later with his arms full of trinkets and tchotchkes as Techno is washing out the mug he placed in the sink.
A new fire seems to be lit inside of Tommy as he lays everything onto the kitchen counter and takes each object, wandering around the entirety of the house (except for Phil’s room, which Techno notes, it does make sense for Tommy to fear Phil after he had him in the grasp of Lady Death herself) to find a home for each of his belongings.
Techno finds it kinda sweet as he seems to be strategizing exactly where each thing he’s collected should be placed. He floats to lean over Techno’s shoulder, trying to attach a pin to his shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“Stay still, dumbass.” Tommy says, finally getting the pin onto Techno’s shirt. It’s a phoenix and rather pretty, with different gemstones making up the bird's wings.
“Is this a gift?”
“Obviously. It’s for you, to remember I’m a changed demon! The phoenix represents rebirth.” Techno can feel Tommy leaning over his shoulder just far enough to see his expression, like he’s worried Techno won’t like it.
“Yes, I know. I like it a lot, thank you.” Techno says, and smiles so Tommy and his not-so-sneaky peeking at his reaction is pleased.
“Of course, it’s a gift from me, it must be amazing.” Tommy nods confidently.
“Phil will be back tonight, are you okay to face him?” Techno asks.
“Like the whole plan was to just ignore the whole thing and pretend everything's normal and I’ve always been here.”
“I mean, it’s definitely a method.”
“Then it’s the one I’m using.”
“You can keep the sweater by the way, I never really wear it, and it looks better on you.”
“I mean it’s not like I want your stupid sweater but I guess I can keep it if you really insist. I mean it’s a shame to waste a perfectly good sweater.
Techno laughs at his endless explanations and ruffles his hair while pushing him away just like their first encounter.
A flash of Tommy’s dead body springs into his memory. While before it had been an accomplishment and disturbing he came back to life, now, the thought of it and imagery in his head irks him.
He won’t make a mistake like that again, He’ll keep his little brother safe. Maybe this means he’ll be able to escape his title. He was never supposed to be a creature capable of empathy or care but now he holds it for two people, the only people in the universe worthy of his care and love.
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Philza’s return is noticed just as he walks in.
“WELCOME HOME PHILZA. IT'S A VERY NICE DAY.” Tommy says incredibly robotically, walking to the kitchen counter like he actually has something to do. Instead, he stands behind Techno partially to hide himself, making sure his tail is covered by Techno’s legs, and fluffing his hair up in an attempt to hide his horns that doesn’t really work.
“Mate, it’s night. The sun set.” Phil laughs a bit, looking at Techno and quietly asking with his expression ‘is he always like this?’.
Techno nudges him to speak. Phil places down a stack of books kept together with twine onto the counter for Techno.
“Uhhh- fuck. My name is Tommy.”
“Philza, but you already know me.” Phil extends his hand before taking it back, probably remembering the risk of accidentally making a demon deal is worse than not having a proper handshake.
“How are you…?” Tommy asks almost cautiously, unsure of whether or not Phil hates his guts. Philza loves Technoblade, and because he loves Technoblade he won’t hurt Tommy and he’s bound to tolerate him, but that doesn’t mean he likes him at all.
“Fine,” Phil walks up to Techno, scanning him briefly, making sure there is absolutely zero red glow to him. “So this is Tommy. A lot less intimidating than I thought he’d be.”
“I am very intimidating, I’m a fucking demon!” Tommy levitates to Techno’s height, much taller than Phil and tries his best to puff out his chest.
“He’s staying?” Phil asks after a small laughing fit at Tommy’s attempts at making himself appear bigger.
“He is.” Techno replies simply, pushing Tommy back down to the ground by the top of his head as Tommy mutters curses and threats towards Techno.
Philza takes a deep breath before looking at Techno, he looks slightly unsure of himself. “Welcome home then, mate.”
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
From what Technoblade can tell, Philza is warming up to Tommy. The past few weeks have been split for him. He’s either with Tommy, bantering, being endlessly pestered, and more recently, teaching Tommy basic swordsmanship after he watched in awe at Phil and his spars; or with Philza, calmly reading, chatting, and sparring from time to time with his most trusted friend. The complaints around Tommy’s entire existence have calmed down to only once in a while, and Tommy has become more and more comfortable around Phil.
For the first time since Tommy arrived, Technoblade hears him speaking with Phil downstairs. He can only make out the fact that they’re speaking, the walls are too thick to properly hear through.
Technoblade carefully climbs downstairs from his room and stands at the top of the stairwell to the living area. Phil has his age old cook book out on the counter, bound by red leather, open to somewhere around the end, and is reading sat on the kitchen stool, reading aloud the next step of the recipe.
“Add a teaspoon of vanilla.” Phil says, watching as Tommy grabs the bottle and not the measuring spoons.
“Tommy- Tommy a teaspoon, that one, right there.” Phil says as Tommy looks at him, guilty for something he hasn't even done yet.
Tommy quickly pours in maybe two tablespoons into the bowl and mixes it in as Philza complains. Tommy laughs at Philza’s insults, responding with his justification of, “It needed more pizazz, surely you understand!”
Technoblade watches Philza grab the chocolate chip bag himself to pour in, not voicing his concerns of Tommy dumping in the whole thing and opting to do it on his own.
“Hey! Let me do it!”
“I’ve got this one, you little gremlin.” Philza measures out the chocolate chips using a cup measurement, holding it over the bowl, probably exactly the way the recipe describes.
“Philzaaaaaaaa you are no man of Prime, it needs more!”
“Quit complaining or you're not getting any cookies when they’re done.” Philza states as Tommy sulks.
“Fineeee.” Tommy continues to mumble about the ‘stupid recipe’ and how dumb Philza’s bucket hat is, sneaking up behind Phil in the process.
“TOMMY-” Tommy reaches over Phil’s shoulder and pushes the end of the chocolate chip bag, letting them all fall into the dough.
“I knew you’d come around to the correct way to make cookies.” Tommy says confidently before laughing endlessly while dodging all of Phil’s attempts to grab him.
He seems disappointed when the man stops.
“I guess they’ll still be cookies.” Phil sighs.
Tommy floats up and snatches Phil’s hat, levitating to hold it out of reach while laughing maniacally and giving Phil chances to grab it back just to snatch it back at the last second. His tail is swishing back and forth with the hugest smile on his face, at one point he places the hat on Phil’s head for a split second just to move it away before Phil can grab it. Techno feels a smile growing on his face watching the interaction.
Phil spots Techno in the stairwell and laughs, “This kid will be the death of me.”
Techno walks down the stairs at last and snatches the hat from Tommy who puts up a fight laughing each time he dodges Technoblade before placing it back on Phil’s head.
“Goodmorning to you both too.” Techno leans onto the counter and reads from the recipe book.
“Tommy, roll up the dough into balls and place them on the parchment.”
“OHHH OF COURSE BIG STRONG TECHNO-BLADE GETS TO BOSS ME AROUND.” Tommy loudly complains as if he hadn’t been the one to ask Phil to bake cookies earlier and taken complete control of making them, having Phil read off the instructions. He continues to whine about how he’s being forced and they’re both so cruel as he rolls the dough between his palms into balls, all differently sized.
Techno offers to do one to help and almost gets his hand bitten off.
This is home, they are his home. Technoblade can’t think of anything else as they banter and laugh, no tension, no soul thieving, just his family. The voices 'awe's seem to agree.
The sudden gratefulness almost makes him not tackle Tommy off of him the second the child wraps himself around Technoblade as Phil laughs at the spectacle of Tommy taking Techno’s distaste for physical touch to his full advantage in his fleet to annoy the man as much as physically possible.