Chapter Text
Tim was half asleep when he felt something shift underneath him. He made an unhappy sound, displeased with being woken up.
"Sorry, sorry. I was just trying to grab the water," Jason said, voice raw and scratchy.
His head was resting on his folded arms, so he burrowed further into them as he let out another groan. He couldn't get back to sleep if Jason kept talking.
"Sorry," Jason whispered. Tim felt it as Jason reached out, burying his fingers in Tim's hair and scratching at his scalp. "Go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up."
There was a certain peace that came with Jason's voice and touch. Tim took a deep breath before letting it out all at once. He found it easy to settle back in afterwards. His entire body felt loose and warm as he let soaked in Jason's presence. He had almost drifted back to sleep when a memory burst through the sleepy fog.
He bolted upright, coming awake abruptly, and screeched, "Jason!"
"Hey Timbo," Jason said, his lips lifting in a small smile. He was paler than usual and there was a series of small stitches holding a wound on his cheek bone closed. His face didn't look that bad, but when Tim's eyes swept lower he saw the mess of bruises and smaller cuts that covered Jason's torso. There was a large bandage slapped against almost the entirety of Jason's hip where a visible chunk had been taken out of his side. That had been the worst wound. That had been the wound that had almost killed Jason a second time. "Sorry, I woke you up. I just wanted to grab the water from the table."
"No, it's- I'll grab it," Tim said. He leaned over grabbing the water glass that sat on the table next to Jason's bed and passing it over. He watched as Jason tilted it against his lips, gulping half the glass down in no time flat. "How are you feeling?"
Jason hummed for a second before saying, "Not fantastic, but it's not the worst I've ever had either."
"Good." Then Tim leaned forward and slapped his palm as hard as he could against the side of Jason's face that didn't have the bandage on it. Jason's head whipped with the force. When Tim's hand dropped away Jason lifted one of his, the one that Doctor Thompkins had stuck his IV in, and rested it over the spot where Tim had slapped him.
As he poked at the irritated skin, Jason let out a soft, "I guess I deserved that."
"You guess?" Tim said. His voice rocketed up as he repeated, "You guess?"
"Okay," Jason said, speaking slowly. "I know I deserved that."
"Damn straight you did," Tim said. "I explained everything to you! I told you that none of this was Bruce's fault! I understand that you can't just get over that, but I thought I was more important to you than that! I thought that staying with me would mean more to you than that."
"Of course staying with you means-"
"Then why would you do this?" Tim screeched, his voice filling with emotion.
"I just wanted you to be safe," Jason said. He was screaming as well now and making angry gestures with his hands as he spoke, "Poison Ivy and Black Mask aren't anything. The Joker has already killed one of us and I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to-"
"Except you did! You gave him the opportunity to kill you again," Tim answered. His eyes prickled with unshed tears as the anger in his gut gave way to a crushing sadness. "If you want me to be happy you wouldn't keep trying to leave me! Because you have no idea how hard it is to live thinking that you're dead. You have no idea how it is to live knowing that there's an entire piece of you that's never going to come back! You have no idea how hard it is to know that your going to spend the rest of your life surrounded by people who are in love with each other, but knowing you're never going to have that because the only person you love decided that it was better to die then stay with you."
"Tim, no," Jason said. He moved to reach forward, but let out a sharp hiss and fell back against the bed. His face had gone ghostly pale as he reached down, setting his hand over the large bandage on his hip.
"Jay," Tim murmured, stepping close. "Stop. Stop. Your wounds could reopen."
"It's fine," Jason said, shaking his head. "I'm fine. But you-"
"I'm fine," Tim interrupted. "I'm angry and sad, but I'm fine because you're still here. As long as you continue to be here, I'm going to continue to be fine. Eventually I'll get over this and I'll be happy again. But you have to stay for that to happen, Jason." Tim reached out, setting one hand over the one Jason had resting on his bandage. He shifted their hands so he was holding Jason's hands in his and squeezed. "Stay, Jason. If you want me to happy, stay. If you want me to be safe, then stay and work with me. Just....Just stay, okay?"
Jason was quiet for a moment.
Tim's heart pounded in his chest.
There was a time when the idea of Jason leaving him was unthinkable, but Tim didn't have that same faith anymore.
He knew Jason loved him, knew Jason would always love him, but he didn't know that Jason wouldn't leave him in some misguided attempt to protect him from something Tim could handle himself.
"Okay," Jason said at last. He squeezed Tim's fingers as he gave a small nod, repeating, "Okay."
Doctor Thompkins came by to check on Jason later that day. Tim sat in the chair by his bed, his legs crossed under him and one of Jason's hands held in his own. The first thing she did on her first visit was to thump Jason over the head before she pulled him into a tight hug, telling him that he had been so stupid. Jason hesitated for a moment, but then he reached up to wrap his free arm around her and buried his face in her neck.
Doctor Thompkins had known Jason before Bruce, had been the one looking after Jason when he was on the streets and Catherine had been too high to care if his arm was snapped or his face bleeding after a fight, and she had never done anything but taken care of him. There was a trust there that made it easy for Jason to embrace her.
A while after Doctor Thompkins left, Alfred came inside with a food filled tray in his hand. There was a bowl of steaming soup along with a glass of Jason's favorite tea, organic peppermint bark, and a few small crack packages. There was also a small plate with one of Tim's favorite white bean and mozerella sandwiches and a glass of Tim's favorite soda. Comfort food, Tim figured. A tense silence settled over the room as Alfred set the tray down on the table by Jason's bed, fiddling with the items on the tray to make sure everything for Jason was within his reach and passing Tim his things.
Alfred didn't say anything until Jason said his name, eyes filling with tears and voice breaking.
Bruce was Jason's father, but that came with all of the heavy expectations and insecurities that any father-son relationship had. Jason had always chaffed under that, wanting so badly to please the only father he had ever known but never knowing if he'd succeeded because Bruce's affection could be confusing.
Alfred though...Alfred didn't come with the same expectations. Before Jason's death, Alfred had been cookies set on the counter after a rough day at school and someone sitting at the table to rant at about Treasure Island or Pride and Prejudice or Moby Dick and someone who Jason knew would always support him. There wasn't any of the pressure that came with his relationship with Bruce because Alfred made it clear everyday that all he wanted was for Jason to be happy.
Once Jason had spoken, Alfred looked up at him and told Jason that he had been incredibly stupid. When Jason had been appropriately chastised, affection had filled Alfred's voice and he'd made sure Jason knew exactly how much they loved him and how much they had missed him.
With the exception of Alfred and Doctor Thompkins, though, Jason and Tim spent the first few days of Jason's recovery alone. Sometimes Tim would crawl up into the bed with Jason and Jason would wrap himself around Tim while Tim read one of his favorite books aloud. Sometimes Tim would leave the room and come back with his DS or a coloring book or something else that they could do. Sometimes Tim would spread his text book out on Jason's thigh because he was already so far behind in school and doodle notes in the margins while having discussions with Jason about whatever sentence he'd caught that looked interesting.
Most of the time, though, Tim sat in the chair next to Jason's bed with one of Jason's hands in his and they'd spend hours talking. Some of their conversations were stupid arguments about mundane things - Jason continued to be mortally offended by Tim's taste in tea and Tim continued to scrunch his nose at Jason's love for Mean Girls - but sometimes Tim would coax Jason into a more serious discussion. They'd talk about Dick or Barbara or Bruce. They'd talk about all the things Jason had been keeping from Tim.
Having everything laid out in front of them hurt them both. Jason's shoulder were heavy with the weight of his emotions, of complicated feelings for people that he'd once loved without any thought, and Tim's heart felt ripped open by all the secrets Jason had. But it was also better.
Because while it had hurt to get there, this was also the way their relationship had always been. They shared their thoughts, secrets, and feelings.
They shared their lives with each other.
"Tim, hey," Jason said when Tim stepped into the room. Jason hadn't been recovering in his old bedroom, but rather in one of the sterile rooms in the batcave that they had specifically for purposes like this. "How do you feel about steak? Because I could really go for one right now."
Jason was dressed in a pair of light jeans that clung to his thighs with a black tee-shirt with a bright red outline of a grinning wolf. His favorite black leather jacket had been thrown on over the shirt. His favorite black boots were laced up on his feet and a pair of sunglasses rested in his hair.
"Are you supposed to be up?" Tim asked.
"Yes. Doctor T came by while you were out," Jason said. Tim scrunched his nose unhappily. He'd been complaining to Jason all morning about having to go to the school. Gotham Academy's online program insisted that students had to take tests at the school in order to ensure that they weren't cheating so he'd had to go up over to take one of his tests. "She said I'm all good to be up and moving. I still have to take it easy, she doesn't want me doing my patrols yet, but I can go out and eat real food. I've just gotta make sure to go in for check ups."
"Really?"
"Timbo, please, would I lie about this?" Tim cocked his head, raising a judgmental eyebrow. Jason gave a small laugh, "Okay, so maybe I would lie about this but I'm not. Come on, Let's go out for lunch."
Tim pursed his lips for a moment before giving a small nod. A smile spread over his lips, "Alright then. Let's go get some steak."
"Yes!" Jason said, throwing a triumphant fist in the air. Stepping over to Tim, he wrapped one arm around Tim's shoulders and pressed a kiss against his temple. Tim let out a small laugh as he fit himself into Jason's side, wrapping an arm around Jason's side.
They spoke quietly as they made their way through the cave, moving through the winding corridor were the sterile rooms were and out into the main room, as they debated where they wanted to go for lunch. Jason was in favor of a genuine steak house while Tim was advocating for a small grill with the best turkey burger he'd ever had.
"But I'm not getting a turkey burger," Jason argued. "I'm going out to get a steak and if I want a good steak then-"
"Jason," someone interrupted. Their voice was deeper then he remembered and soft with shock, but Jason knew who it was even before he looked at them.
Dick was sitting on the stool at the computer wearing dark jeans and a light blue button up. His eyes were locked on Jason. Dick wore his heart on his sleeve and even after so much time apart Jason knew how to read him, so it wasn't hard to pick out the emotions hidden there. A little bit of surprise and a hint of sadness, but mostly relief and hope. His mouth was open in a small o.
Jason's mouth ran dry, his throat closing around the words he'd been saying to Tim.
His heart clenched in his chest.
Jason didn't hate Dick.
Dick was his brother and it wasn't his fault that he hadn't been there when things had exploded.
Things between Jason and Bruce had soured so abruptly that even if they could've reached him, he wouldn't have been able to get back to Earth before they exploded. He couldn't have pulled out of the battle the Titans were fighting at the time to come fight the battle with Bruce and Jason.
That didn't make it any easier to talk to him.
It didn't make it any easier to find the words to talk to him when Jason had spent the last few years so far from his entire family. When he'd spent the last few years closing himself off to his family and rejecting everything they had taught him.
The fingers Tim had set on Jason's hip tightened.
The touch grounded Jason, reminded him of everything he'd told Tim in the days he'd spent in bed.
It reminded him of the nights when Jason was losing it and wanted nothing more then to go to out with Dick so they could order milkshakes until the sugar relaxed them. It reminded him how he'd confessed that he missed Dick. It reminded him of the nights when Jason's felt so lost that he wanted nothing more than to call his older brother to ask what the fuck he was supposed to do. It reminded him of days when all he wanted was one of Dick's fantastic hugs.
"Hey, Dick," Jason greeted. He lifted his lips in a small smile, knowing it was a little awkward but also knowing that Dick would appreciate him not forcing it. He took a deep breath before he took a leap of faith and asked, "We're gonna go to that steakhouse over on fourth for lunch. You wanna come?"
"Oh are we?" Tim asked. "I didn't know I'd agreed to that."
"Well, it's two against one," Jason said. "Right, Dick?"
There was a small pause before Dick nodded. His voice was cracked and filled with unshed tears, but completely undeniably happy, when he said, "Yeah, Timmy. It's Little Wing and I against you."
Lunch that day was awkward and stilted, but it was also just the beginning.
Part of Jason's recovery was physical therapy for his hip, so when they were both free Jason and Dick went to the park together. They'd make their way down the pathways that looped through the park's green fields with their shoulders bumping and coffee cups in their hand. Dick seemed to have an endless supply of funny videos to show Jason, everything from cats failing to jump over baby gates to toddlers falling on their faces when dogs on leashes pulled them to the ground, and Jason told Dick the funniest stories from his travels, like when Demetrius tried to teach him how to surf and he'd swallowed so much seawater that he ended up sick.
When Tim had gotten caught up in something, Jason and Dick would go out for lunch together. Sometimes they went to restaurants where they could tear chicken tenders apart with their fingers while they ordered fruity cocktails to get them tipsy. Sometimes they went to higher class places where they could get steak or bourbon chicken and spent their time shooting spitballs at each other. Sometimes they'd just go through a McDonald's drive-through and then they'd eat burgers while whichever of them drove put the pedal all the way to the floor so they could wind through the New Jersey streets at the fastest speeds possible.
Some days the two of them found wild silly things to do. They went to thrift stores, sifting through tee-shirts with ridiculous sayings and buying ridiculous knick-knacks for Jason's apartment. Every time Tim came over, he ended up rolling his eyes at the silly salt and pepper shakers Jason had picked up or the throw pillows with the three blind mice cross stitched on them. They went to play paint ball. They rolled under each others shots and laughed like children. They left bruised and exhausted, but smiling and laughing on their way home.
Slowly, Jason got his brother back.
It took a little longer, but eventually Barbara came to him as well. She showed up at his apartment door way day, folding her arms across her chest. Seeing her, seeing someone else who had been hurt by the Joker as well, made Jason want to bundle Tim up somewhere that no one could touch him. It was a reminder that it wasn't just one child that Bruce had let get hurt by the Joker. Before Jason could dwell on the thought any longer, Barbara was rolling herself inside and Jason was forced to step aside to let her in or let her roll over his toes.
They sat at the table in the kitchen. Barbara having moved two chairs aside to wheel her chair up to it while Jason took the seat across from her. They sat there, just staring at each other for a while.
Then Barbara opened her mouth and the two of them spent the rest of the afternoon talking. At some point Jason got up, making them Zuppa Toscana for lunch and grabbing sodas from the fridge, but for the most part they just talked until their throats were raw. They talked about everything Jason had hesitated to tell Tim and everything he would never tell Dick.
It wasn't that he trusted Barbara more than them, he didn't trust anymore than he trusted Tim, but that Barbara was the person who understood this situation the most.
Robin and Batgirl had been children of Batman, but the Red Hood and Oracle were products of the Joker. They shared that connection, no matter how they felt about the rest of the family.
"Come on, Tim," Jason groaned. "I gotta go."
The two of them were lying on the couch in the manor. Jason's back was against the back of the couch while Tim pressed against him, tangled and wrapped around Jason's body, with his face buried in Jason's neck. Even though Jason was complaining about needing to leave, he wasn't actually making any attempt to untangle them. The TV in front of the couch was on, playing a marathon of some HGTV series that they didn't have too put to much effort into watching.
"Nooooo," Tim whined, shaking his head. "Stay a little longer."
"Can't," Jason murmured. He played with the short strands of hair on the back of Tim's neck. "Bruce is going to be home soon."
Jason had been spending time around the manor since healing, hanging around with Tim and talking to Alfred, but so far he'd been lucky enough not to bump into Bruce while there.
"He won't bother us," Tim said.
"Have you met Bruce? He's like....genetically incapable of minding his own business." Tim reached out and pinched Jason's side between his nails. Jason let out a sharp hiss, reaching down to slap Tim's hand on the wrist. "What the fuck, baby bird? I'm not wrong."
"No," Tim answered with a small shake of his head. "But you can't avoid Bruce forever."
"Why not?"
"Because," Tim said, raising his head up so he was looking Jason in the eye, "you promised to stay."
For a moment, Jason considered arguing. He was staying for Tim, but that didn't mean he had to be around Bruce. The more he thought about it though, the more he realized how ridiculous a plan that was. The last few weeks were proof that staying for Tim would mean being absorbed back into this family.
All of them had their issues with Bruce, but there was no denying that Bruce was the force that brought them together and kept them tied. Being apart of the family meant having a relationship of some kind with Bruce, even one as strained as Jason's was.
"Okay," Jason said. "But not today. Neither Bruce or I want to have this conversation while you and I are cuddling on the couch. You and Alfred can set up some awkward family dinner shit."
"But you are staying?" Tim said. His voice was filled with such a soft insecurity that Jason felt like his heart had shattered in his chest.
"Yeah," Jason said, leaning forward to press his lips against Tim's. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against Tim's. "I'm staying."