Chapter Text
— 5:49 pm, April 19th —
Babs: Mary lost her first tooth
Babs: < Picture of Mary smiling wide with her left lateral incisor missing >
Dick: She was very brave
Jason: Congrats kid
Damian: Make sure the socket stays clean
Dick: Of course
Duke: The toothfairy coming tonight?
Dick: Yup!
Babs: Finally putting the stealth training to good use
— 4:20 pm, April 20th —
Tim: blaze it
Dick: Really Tim
Jason: Kids shouldn't be making jokes about drug use Tim
Jason: (For the adults in the chat 🍃💨)
Bruce: Please don’t
Tim: Im 30
Jason: I don't care what you are
Dick: Your twelve and forever will be twelve
Jason: Exactly
Tim: You're*
Dick: 🖕
Damian: If Tim is twelve how old am I?
Cass: Baby
Duke: Dare I ask?
Cass: Toddler
Duke: I'll take it
— 2:02 pm, April 22nd —
Damian: Does anyone need a blender?
Roy: What kind of blender?
Damian: Just a basic one? I don't know the brand
Damian: < Photo of a blender sitting on the kitchen counter of his apartment >
Dick: We have a Ninja
Stephanie: Same
Tim: Us too
Duke: I thought you had a different blender?
Damain: I do, this one is Jon’s
Damian: Were going through the things we each have and dont need two of
Stephanie: I think were all good on blenders
Tim: Just donate it
Damian: We will. Just wanted to make sure nobody needed one before we did
Jon: What about a toaster?
Duke: I could use a toaster
— 12:12 am, April 23rd —
Bernard: Roy are you out rn?
Roy: Yeah? Whats up
Bernard: My car’s smoking, can I drop it off at the shop?
Roy: Yeah sure
Roy: Ill stop by to pick up your keys
Tim: Bear, do you want me to pick you up?
Bernard: Yeah thanks
— 6:23 am, April 24th —
Bruce: Who is all coming to the gala tomorrow night?
Dick: Shoot I forgot!
Jason: Whats it for this time?
Selina: Wildlife preservation
Dick: I promise we were planning on coming but I totally forgot it was tomorrow and didnt get a babysitter
Babs: Im calling my dad to see if he can take them
Damian: I will be there of course
Jon: Im coming too!
Jon: I might leave early but I’ll be there for a bit I promise
Selina: The animals appreciate it Jon
Tim: I’ll be there but Bear is going to be at the restaurant tonight
Steph: Im on shift but if im not completely dead to the world after ill see if I can stop by
Selina: There is no need to overwork yourself, get your rest
Duke: I'll be at work too
Babs: Dad can watch the kids so Dick and I can go
Dick: Woop!
Jason: I’m on patrol
Cass: Same 😢
Cass: Ill try to stop by before
— 5:38 pm, April 26th —
Dick: < Video of James, on the couch, tapping on a toy laptop next to his mom as Barbara is working on her own laptop >
Cass: 🥺
Duke: Awe he wants to be like mama
Damian: That’s sweet
Dick: He really likes all the buttons
Jason: Im glad at least one of your kids is taking after Barbie instead of you
Dick: Rude
— 8:30 am, April 27th —
Jason: 🙂
Dick: Stop
Jason: 😀
Dick: You bring it up every year
Jason: I died today
Dick: I hate you
— 10:48 am, April 27th —
Bruce: Jason please come to dinner tonight
Jason: No 😀
— 10:02 pm, April 29th —
Lian: Fellow children of assassins, how do I stop my mom from sending me ornate daggers?
Lian: It’s not that they aren't nice, I’m just running out of room and starting to look like a psychopath
Cass: Shiva does not give gifts
Damian: Are they random or for a reason?
Lian: They seem random? They used to just be on my birthday and special occasions but now its more often
Damian: My mother used to send assassins to ‘test’ me when she missed me, that may be why
Lian: Maybe, I haven't seen her in person in a few years
Lian: that doesnt help with the knives though
Damian: I eventually had to get Mother to give me different things instead
Damian: I told her to get me jewelry or clothes, eventually hair products
Damian: Things I will actually use but still made me think of her
Lian: Thats smart
Lian: Thanks Uncle Day
— 1:34 pm, April 30th —
Bruce: Since Damian is moving in three weeks I would like everyone to come over for at least one family dinner before he leaves
Dick: At the manor?
Bruce: Preferably, you all have rooms here if it makes it easier
Stephanie: Awe he’s sad his nest is empty
Bruce: I would just like everyone to be together before it becomes a more difficult task
Babs: Ill check the family calender and find a day that everyone fits
Bruce: Thank you Barbara
— 3:12 pm, April 30th —
Babs: Alright the 9th looks like it should work if we do it after 7pm
Tim: Thats a little late for dinner
Babs: Its either then or in June
Babs: There’s a lot of people in this family, we are rarely all available at the same time
Stephanie: Please tell me were going to order in
Bernard: I think I speak for those that can cook; Yes
Jason: Seconded
Damian: Third
Jon: I think we should only be forced to cook for holidays
Lian: Agreed
Bruce: I will see you all on the 9th
— 7:00 am, May 1st —
Dick: Do you know your exact moving date Dami?
Damian: My last day is supposed to be on the 22nd so Im moving on that weekend
Damian: The plan is to have everything packed and ready to go a week in advance since Im unsure if I will have time that last week to pack
Duke: Let us know if you need any help
Damian: I will
— 7:00 am, May 1st —
Dick: James has an ear infection
Stephanie: Aw that sucks
Damian: How’s he feeling?
Babs: He’s uncomfortable and quiet but taking meds like a champ
Roy: Atta boy
— 3:39 pm, May 2nd —
Damian: < Photo of Jon in the field, sleeves rolled up as he carries a hay bale across the farm >
Damian: Proof
Dick: ???
Damian: Sorry wrong group chat, please ignore my previous message
Jon: Why are you texting pictures of me to someone?
Stephanie: Yeah Damian
Jason: I’m interested
Damian: I was texting it to some friends, they didn't believe me about something and I sent the photo as proof
Damian: Now let it go
Jason: What did they believe?
Damian: Let it go
Jon: I wanna know too
Damian: Ill text you a screenshot separately
Stephanie: Aw boo
Jason: Let the people know
Cass: ???
Dick: IDK if I want to know
Jon: You don't
Stephanie: That's not fair
Jason: Tell us
Tim: Tell us
Cass: Tell us
Stephanie: Tell us
Damian: Lian is in this chat, as is Father. Let it go
Stephanie: 👀
Bruce: I appreciate that
— 12:37 pm, May 4th —
Tim: I cried during my meeting
Jason: wuss
Stephanie: ^^
Dick: Why did you cry?
Tim: I didn't sleep last night and I was so stressed then I opened the lunch box Bear made for me this morning cause I forgot to make mine last night and it looked like this
Tim: < Photo of the inside of Tim’s lunchbox. Inside is a turkey sandwich cut to look like a bear, broccoli and rice, strawberries cut into hearts and a fruit roll up >
Bernard: <3
Roy: Damn, Id cry too
Jason: Im not making cutesy lunches for you
Roy: Im just saying it would be nice
— 10:02 am, May 5th —
Roy: Damian, did Austin leave his dinosaur at your apartment?
Damian: No, I don't see it anywhere
Roy: Shit
Jason: He brought it to school today for show and tell
Roy: Why
Jason: Cause he likes it?
Lian: It has a rip in it, I was going to fix it today while he was at school before he noticed
Jason: Crap
— 5:03 pm, May 7th —
Cass: I have a recital next friday, I need someone to cover patrol
Babs: I already got it covered
Cass: Thank you
Damian: Is this the class with Mary in it?
Cass: No this is big kids
— 6:58 pm, May 8th —
Tim: Currently at Damian’s apartment and he has a box labeled ‘Guestroom stuff (important)’ and one labeled ‘Guestroom stuff (less important)’
Stephanie: Sounds about right
Damian: I'm trying to be thorough
Bruce: Speaking of, did you need anything from your old bedroom when you're over tomorrow?
Damian: I don't believe so but I’ll take a look just in case
— 5:05 pm, May 9th —
Bruce: I'm going to put the order in for dinner soon. Selina, are you coming?
Selina: I thought this was family only
Tim: Selina you are family
Cass: ❤️
Dick: You're practically the kids’ grandma
Selina: Alright I'll come
— 6:43 pm, May 9th —
Duke: I'll be a be a few minutes late
Stephanie: The food hasn't even been delivered yet you’re fine
Jason: I’m starving
Roy: You had Batburger in the car
Jason: That was a snack
— 10:15 am, May 10th —
Dick: Why is oat milk $8
Jason: Because you live in Blüdhaven
Babs: Because you bought the fancy one
Dick: It has a leaf on it
Roy: That’s how they get you
Bruce: Do you need money?
Dick: No, stop trying to give us money
— 3:13 pm, May 12th —
Dick: Mary started crying when we had to explain that Uncle Day is moving permanently
Jon: Aw
Damian: Tell her I will come back to visit all the time
Jon: I promise I’m not trying to steal her Uncle from her
— 3:42 pm, May 12th —
Babs: We told her all about Uncle Day’s new home and she asked if she can come see the chickens
Jon: She absolutely can
Damian: She can help with collecting eggs
Jon: I can teach her to milk a cow!!
Dick: She asked if you had a brown cow for chocolate milk
Jon: I wish
Damian: There is a brown cow but she does not have chocolate milk
Stephanie: How could you crush her dreams like that?!
— 5:09 pm, May 13th —
Lian: My boss let me finish a tailoring jacket by myself today
Roy: That’s huge!
Jason: Look at you
Lian: I only had to redo one sleeve
Babs: Don't sell yourself short, your boss trusts you that's a huge step
— 1:03 am, May 15th —
Cass: The Madhatter’s out
Jason: Damn it
Tim: I just put him in Arkham last week!?
Cass: 🤷♀️
Lian: Can I help this time?
Jason: No, no rogues
Tim: Come on its just the Madhatter
Jason: And she’s just 18
Lian: 19 in a few months
Jason: No
Roy: I think its fine if were both out with her
Lian: YES!
Jason: United front Roy!
Roy: She’s an adult, we can't keep her away anymore
Lian: 🥺 Please Pops?
Jason: fine
— 6:27 pm, May 16th —
Jason: I planted my garden for the season
Tim: If you planted more fucking squash, I swear to God
Jason: Nah just one squash plant
Jason: This year I'm doing tomatoes
Dick: Don't go pawning them off on us when you end up with a million
Bernard: I wouldn't be opposed, tomato preserves are really good
Jason: Bernard’s got dibs on my extra tomatoes then
Bernard: Woop
— 9:18 pm, May 17th —
Damian: The apartment is fully packed
Damian: Just essentials left for the week
Dick: Wow
Tim: That was fast
Stephanie: It feels so weird that I won't see you around the hospital anymore
Bruce: Are you sure you're ready?
Damian: I’m sure