Chapter Text
The episode opens peacefully, the sun just now rising over the horizon. We cut to each of the final four, Hugs sleeping with her girlfriends snuggled up to her, Stanley sleeping with Yellow draped atop him, Clock managing to sleep properly on a bed, and RHM is also still asleep, resting bitch face still present even while unconscious. As the sun starts rising higher, everyone decides to get up slowly, many contestants and failed debuters having chosen to share the old team buildings. At 10, everyone is up and about, chattering about what could happen today…
Then the metal door to the host residence is kicked off its hinges and into space, startling everyone as the hosts spill out, one particular one buzzing with excitement.
Kevin: Today’s the dayyyyy~!
He skips around as he approaches the large crowd, repeating his excited statement until he trips on his tail and falls flat on his face, causing multiple people to laugh.
Hugs: What- What’s today that has you so excited?
Kevin: Don't you know, silly dog?
He pulls himself up off the ground back into a standing position.
Kevin: Today’s the day I get to join the few CECU creators in finishing a show! Because it’s FINALE DAY, EVERYBODY!
Everyone cheers, for many different reasons that you can probably guess.
Kevin: I just want to say another congratulations to our final four for making it this far! Hugs, Stanley, Clock, and Right Hand Man, you all have worked through thick and thin to make it up to this point! Well, three of you have. Clock’s mainly just goofed off and survived.
Clock: Sure have! Wait, hey!
Kevin: But now, it’s time to see who has what it takes to become the winner of Kevin’s Incredibly Dumb Showdown!
Tissues: Already? Can’t we wait a couple more minutes to interact?
Kevin: I’m impatient! You’ll have plenty of time to interact later! Let’s head up to the big planet one final time, everybody!
He brings everyone along via telekinesis once again, going slow at first before just throwing everyone up to the planet. Once everyone landed, they saw the beginning of a marathon before Kevin popped up in front of it.
Kevin: Now, I know I said last episode was the penultimate challenge, and while we are having a final one, I also put your fates up for one last vote from the viewers! So-
CoCo: Why would you do that?
Jay: Yeah, just do one or the other, idiot.
Kevin stares at both the blue cuboid and the suddenly there gray protogen plushie angrily before the shot cuts to both being tied up into balls, the latter being kicked back to where it was meant to be.
Kevin: What I was going to say before those two interrupting idiots butted in, is that this finale will actually be multi-part! Firstly, the final four will compete in the challenge gauntlet, KA doing every challenge again, with the last person to cross the finish line at the end being eliminated at fourth!
The final four gasp.
Right Hand Man: You didn’t mention anything about more eliminations!
Kevin; I want this finale to be spectacular! Anyways, the three that remain must face the penultimate challenge again, but with their eliminated compatriots and the failed debuters voting for who they want to be in third place instead! And after all is said and done, the final two will see how the votes played out, the one who received more votes winning the show!
Clock: So… only two people’s votes matter?
Kevin: Yep, so you better hope you’re one of those two! Now, before we do anything, we have an absolutely MASSIVE crowd watching our finale today!
The camera shows the final recommended characters of the season. By name, Jay and CoCo (the latter being thrown at the protogen, knocking both of them back to normal) [RevolvingFate], the cast of “this is not the improv cecu show” by Eight, The Red Car, which is just… the car from episode 23 [the solution to the problem], Apple the voter, which is a simple Floragato without limbs but still has hands and feet, has longer ears and bigger fluff on her head, a little fluff of a tail, line eyes, a blue sweatshirt and red headphones. Oh and dark blue dragon wings with pale yellow webbing. [Apple ⟡] Moving on, we also have another YAHF cutout, which is a crying, sunglasses one holding a sign that says “I am my own #1 winner” [YAHF], Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon [itscamcordr], Blixer from Just Shapes and Beats [Yuki], Beer from Bean’s Show, y’know, post-rehab [sadboiflowerz], a Bottle of Iridium Quality Ancient Fruit Wine from Stardew Valley and William Gnaritas himself, who… isn’t here yet, the Numbertaker from Numberjacks [The Musical Fish], and of course, White_Tiger’s recommendation…
…Pommel Horse? From Team Room 125- what is she doing here.
Pommel Horse: Man, this finale is gonna be exciting!
Kevin: Wait, Pommel Horse, what are you doing, where’s Roboty?
Pommel Horse: What do you mean? It’s always been me who’s been recommended-
She immediately gets knocked off the bleachers by Roboty himself, with red panels duct taped over the tops of his eyes to indicate anger. And along with him, the camera slowly pans out to see ADAGE’s recommendation.
Every single recommended character that had been on the show.
Hugs: …woah.
Clock: Honestly, a little smaller than I thought.
A train then ends up ramming into them, causing them to hit Kevin and shatter against him before reversing back to normal.
Kevin: …ow.
William hops out of one of the train cars, dressed in blue and black conductor clothes with gold outlines, the design similar to that of Ingo and Emmet’s clothes from Pokemon Black and White.
William: Oh shoot, did I hit someone?
Kevin: Yeah, it was just Clock, though, they’re fine.
William: Damn, was kinda hoping it was Right Hand.
Right Hand Man: Piss off.
William: Likewise, asshole. I was hoping you’d get eliminated long before you got to the finale, but I guess that’s a contestant antagonist for you. Still hoping you lose.
RHM just flips him off.
William: Clock, as much as you… haven’t been doing much, I can’t deny you have been a pretty fun presence, especially during the beach episode.
Clock: Aw, thanks!
William: Stanley, you’ve also been pretty cool to watch throughout the show, even though you might not have done much in the past episode.
Not really our fault, but alright, thanks.
William: And Hugs… I mean, obviously you’re my winner pick, you’re part of the polycule and that speech last episode was really nice.
Hugs: Aw, thank you!
William: Also, sorry I couldn’t do much about Ink Blob, Kev, I was a little tired last time from making this thing.
He pulls out what just looks to be a baton.
Kevin: …a… baton? What does it do?
William: Oh, just this.
He flicks his wrist to turn it into a Greatsword, then a Greatspear and a Greataxe before thinking… and taking a swipe at Kevin, actually cleaving a chunk off his head.
Kevin: OW, FUCK! Dude, why the hell would you do that?
William: To… test it? Why else- wait, what
He sees that Kevin is somehow regenerating the chopped off chunk.
William: That’s… not supposed to happen…
Kevin: Wha- not supposed to- DON’T DO THAT, THEN! You’re lucky I can even disobey any and all reality rules!
William: Okay, what’s the deal with that? Being able to just delete the multiverse and everyone in it just by thinking, breaking the rules of my own craft?
Kevin: …it was… my first purpose as a character. My entire point was to be stronger than anyone else, I just… grew and evolved…
William: …sounds like a restricting existence.
Kevin: Eh, it’s not too bad most of the time. May we please start the finale now?
William: Oh, yeah, of course.
Kevin: If it makes you feel better, that thing does work really well.
William: Thanks man!
He retracts it back into a baton before sitting with the episode’s RCs.
Kevin: Alright, push the thoughts aside… now it’s time for your guy’s final challenge!
Fenny: Wh- What thoughts-
The host snaps, and a final challenge set appears surrounding the planet.
Kevin: The final challenge of KIDS is the Challenge Gauntlet! Also known as doing every challenge again, but simpler! I’d rather this not take all day, after all… anyways, the rules are simple, just do all the challenges and get to the end in order to move on! If you die, you have to restart, so, y’know, don’t do that. I’ll be here at the start to revive you if you die, since I forgot to bring up the HPRC with us.
Right Hand man: The end is right there.
The camera pans to see the end of the challenge is very close to the start. But when RHM tries to get to it, a barrier blocks him off.
Kevin: That’s cheating, idiot.
Right Hand Man: Bastard…
Kevin: Anyways, without anything else to say… GO- wait a sec…
He opens a portal and starts shaking it like you would a jar, pouring out the piss and shit show cast.
Kevin: Hey, welcome to the finale, folks!
Misato: FINALLY, we’re out of that place!
Kevin: Oh, come on, six years isn’t that bad. You only have five more to go.
Hoe Kohzd: yeah, don’t you think you can just suddenly
Kevin: Shut.
Jumbo Josh: Wait, why are we even here, brah?
Kevin: Our shows have been the most interconnected, so I thought I might as well let you guys watch my finale. Anyways, you four can start now.
As the final four head off, ADAGE hops down from the recommended character section.
ADAGE: Hey, man. I made a thing for ya.
He hands him a paper which, when unfolded, follows an AbsoluteNutcase162 comic formula. It looks a lot like the Inside Out comic, but with Kevin and his family replacing the emotions.
Kevin: “sorry ADAGE but I don’t think you’re relevant enough to take part in the final showdown”
ADAGE: “this is bullshit you let spongebob in”
Spongebob: “I GOT FUCKING NERFED”
Kevin: Hehe, this is really funny, thanks.
ADAGE: NO prob. And no hard feelings, either!
Kevin: Didn’t know where you were anyhow.
ADAGE: That’s fair. Also, where’d all the losers go?
Kevin: I sent them to deal with the contests that require people.
The four finalists were then seen dealing with the first challenge, which was now to eat 20 regular chicken nuggets, about the same mass as the two giant ones from the season’s start. RHM and Stanley were trying to eat as fast as they could, but Clock’s bigger mouth and Hugs’ having eaten much larger, they both got done much easier.
Right Hand Man: Grr… only have one gun left…
With that motivation, he finishes off the rest of the nuggets before heading to the second challenge: having to buy something for someone.
Hugs: Wait, who are we supposed to buy from?
Yellow Face comes in with a stand to set up.
Yellow Face: Hello! I’m here to sell my stuff, since, y’know, that one store is gone.
Hugs: Alright, well… can I get a teddy bear?
Yellow Face: Of course! That’ll be $3496875.
The three stare at him, Stanley joining them soon after… before Right Hand Man shoots him directly in the forehead, killing him.
RHM: 4 shots left
Clock: …at least we don’t have to pay?
Hugs goes behind the stand, unimpressed by the Infinite Matter Generator 2.0 that’s behind it. But everyone gets what they need (besides RHM), and give them to the nearby receivers: Kinen, No Way, and Yellow. Kinen gets a stuffed bear from Hugs, No Way gets a CD from Clock, and Yellow gets some redstone from Stanley. Right Hand Man tries to just skip the challenge, but he isn’t allowed to leave until he gets something… via a ground slice turning into a wall.
Right Hand Man: What the-? Uuuuugh… fiiine.
As he tries to figure out what to get, the other three move onto the fighting round. Hugs immediately gets tackled by our resident blue cuboid while Stanley and Clock have to fight off Yellow M&M and Tailspike respectively. Of course, Stanley and Yellow M&M’s fight is pretty mediocre, neither of them being well-versed fighters, but Clock immediately gets shattered upon Tailspike spiking him in the face, causing Kevin to pull out a magnet from his tail and bring Clock back to the start, the latter reforming soon after.
Clock: Aw man…
Kevin: Sorry, them’s the rules.
Right Hand Man finally gets a money generator for iPod so he can move on, seeing his opponent is Rainbow Brick.
Rainbow Brick: …are we gonna make this quick or interesting?
RHM: 3 shots left
He made his way along as we see CoCo and Hugs just tussling with each other, the former trying to pull the latter down their throat.
Hugs: Geez, you’re much stronger than you let on!
CoCo: What’s that supposed to mean? Just because I have thin limbs, I can't be strong?
Hugs just kicks her off before snatching her by the side and flinging her away, moving on to the fourth contest.
Hugs: Oh, great, the quiz again…
EK: Don’t worry, it should be quick. Though, RHM did get here first.
Hugs: What- when?!
Right Hand Man: Few seconds ago. What’s the question?
EK: What’s another word for money?
Right Hand Man: …you’re joking, right?
EK: Give an answer.
Right Hand Man: Dough, and if the questions are this easy, you might as well-
EK: Shut up, dude, you talk way too much. You have 34 more contests to go, anyway.
Right Hand Man just grumbles and walks on, Hugs going next.
EK: Alright, what else, hm… How long does it take for the moon to change from new to full?
Hugs: Wha- Am I supposed to just know that?!
EK: You have more than one guess.
Hugs: Oh, good. Ummm… a month?
EK: Wrong.
Hugs: Um, two months?
EK: Do you… not look at the moon?
Hugs: It’s been forever since I learned about it, alright? I don’t constantly check the moon.
Clock: Can you hurry up, please?
Hugs: AH!
She whirls around to see Clock and Stanley standing behind her.
Hugs: …crap.
Right hand Man easily passed episode 5, since there was no challenge, and started scaling the tower for episode 6.
Right Hand Man: Hm. Lot easier than I thought. Are all of these towers made of clay?
Suddenly, Blue descends upon him, trying to knock him off the tower.
Right Hand Man: What the-?! Get off me!
Blue does not listen, continuing to punch in RHM’s hat. Hugs and Clock start heading up their own towers, properly, before meeting their foes: Packing Peanut and Cane’s Cup.
Hugs: …really?
Packing Peanut: I wanted to try and do something!
They run up and start kicking Hugs’ shin, seeing little results as they just walk past and get the item they need (a book) and head back down.
Hugs: Hope I see you at the finish line and not here again.
Packing Peanut: Safe travels!
…
Packing Peanut: Aw man…
Clock, meanwhile, has a bit more of a difficult time, as Cane’s Cup decided to try and throw parts of the tower at them. They managed to get the item, and then were tossed out via a hole made by them slamming into it when CC hit his target. Stanley makes it along too, just to see Blue finally get knocked off of RHM, and meets up with his opponent… who was holding his command staff.
Yellow: Hey, hon.
Oh, hello there, Yellow. Mind letting us have the item… box?
Yellow: As much as I’d like to help you out, the rules of the challenge stay the same.
He decides to throw a punch, which Stanley blocks surprisingly well. Yellow’s pleased surprise allows Stanley to sweep past him, take the item box, and head back down the stairs. On the 7th challenge, target practice, RHM quickly gets it done and over with, via the laser gun provided to him. The other three do their best, all hitting the target, before getting into episode 8’s contest: dodgeball. A robot from the 36th episode is there, throwing dodgeballs like mad.
Clock: So, do we just… have to get past the robot?
Hugs: Probably.
Right Hand Man tries to brute force his way through the barrage, but three well-timed dodgeballs end up knocking him out cold. Hugs elects to use Clock as a shield, managing to protect her and Stanley from the brunt of the balls. Clock does get majorly damaged, however. The two human-like contestants make it out, and Hugs sets Clock down outside the court building.
Hugs: Do you think he’ll recover faster than Right Hand?
Stanley nods before beckoning her to continue on. Meanwhile, CoCo finally lands near Kevin, accidentally yanking on his tail to get up.
Kevin: OW! What the fuck?!
CoCo: Hey, sorry, it was an accident this time!
Kevin: This time? It wouldn’t have been an accident any other time?
CoCo: Hey, with how much I’ve been put through this season, you can’t get mad at me! I deserve a little mischievousness now and again!
Kevin’s eye twitches.
Kevin: …how much… YOU’VE gone through? You really told me, the guy who has suffered more emotional turmoil than anyone else here just because the author thinks it’s a good way to “ground myself,” that YOU’VE SUFFERED TOO MUCH?!
CoCo: …yyyyes…?
She’s immediately snatched up and thrown into Jay, knocking the two into a combined ball because logic and kicking them all the way back to the small planet with just enough force that they bounce back so he can punch them back to normal again.
Kevin: I have had to CONSTANTLY feel like I have to show off my powers to the viewing audience to let them know I’m not a liar, and it has done NOTHING for me! I keep getting killed, tormented, forced to kill people because I’m insane and just following trends, and some… some other thing I can’t think of right now! It sucks!
CoCo keeps backing up as Kevin gets in her face-
Kevin: YOU. You’re the one that keeps causing it to happen!
Wha- me?
Kevin: Yes, you, Mr Narration. Anything you’ve said, the story HAD to abide by it! Everything I’ve had to go through, is because of YOU and our STUPID WRITER!
As Kevin keeps ranting, Jay holds up a metal pipe, and seeing an opportunity, thrusts it right into Kevin’s eye, breaking right through his head causing the pipe to crumple in on itself- wait, what the?
Kevin: …it’s fading. I have control back.
Jay attempts to do anything, but
No. No more of you. It’s my turn to say how the story goes, at least for a while. We can get back to the challenge soon enough.
As soon as Jay tries to fire a magic beam at me, I snatch it right out of the sky and turn it back on the plushie, turning it into a frog.
Kevin: …wow, you really make the same threat more than once-
I snatch CoCo out of the sky, mutilating her before reversing said mutilation back into a blue frog, scooping the Jay-rog up alongside her and putting them in Bucket. I can’t find it in me to harm them too badly, they’re just having fun.
Four: Wow, glad to see you’re stealing ideas again, you thief.
Kevin: I prefer to call it… inspiration. Also, fuck off.
I pluck a part of his outline, turning it into just a line before yanking the rest of it off, causing him to be turned into a blue puddle of goop that seeps into the Earth. A bullet flies towards me, but I immediately snatch it up and flick it back into its culprit.
Just missed the mark. Could've been her first death. …let’s get back to the contestants.
Hugs and Stanley are midway through the maze when Right Hand and Clock wake back up, Clock springing into action much, much sooner than RHM. Right Hand decides to hug the wall instead of trying to dodge in any way, successfully making it past the robot. While he goes into the maze, Clock… goes on top of it. Meh, I don’t really care, it’s inventive.
Hugs and Stanley are working remarkably well with each other, looking out for traps and such.
They get out of the maze just as Clock drops down to the ground, in front of both episode 10 and 11’s challenge, the gorge with the balance beam over it.
[Why didn’t you split that one?]
It seemed pointless, plus I wasn’t breaking another gorge into the planet just for a gauntlet. Anyways, the three finalists all hop onto the balance beam and pray for their lives as they make their way across. Meanwhile, RHM just now exits the maze, quickly getting on the beam and deciding to get past by using the contestant closest to him as a launchpad. Unfortunately, Stanley is that person, and once RHM leapfrogs over him to get in front, the office worker falls to his death.
Hugs: STANLEY! Grrr!
Stanley’s death allows me to focus on… not trying to decimate people as I revive him.
Kevin: Sorry, man, you gotta restart.
Yes, we know that, we don’t need to be told again…
Kevin: …just saying…
After he goes off, I look elsewhere, my eyes landing on the car.
…
Wait, why don’t I feel anything?
I mean, I feel contempt for it, but… I can’t remember why? What hap-
…
Ohhhhhh my GOD.
I zip up to William, accidentally startling him.
Kevin: What all did that weapon of yours do again?
William: …well, it can cleave through any matter, can’t break, rend memories-
Kevin: I think you cut away the memory of the car crash I experienced! I’m not scared of the car anymore!
William: …you were scared of cars?
Kevin: Mainly because of the trauma of losing my parents and the flaming mess the crash made. Thank you so much for freeing me of that awful memory.
William: You’re welcome… I guess.
Kevin: …oh my god, my outburst was just what Marx wanted…
Back with the challenge. The three that didn’t die on the beam are faced with their next task: survive for 5 seconds.
Hugs: …is someone supposed to be here to kill us?
Clock: I dunno.
Right Hand Man thinks to pull his gun out too late, as the time had already passed and the three continue on. Episode 13’s challenge is just to hide from ADAGE, who had left the crowd in order to do anything. Hugs and Right Hand hide behind Clock, who gets caught by ADAGE and thrown back a few challenges as the other two escape. Clock ends up landing back at the maze entrance.
Clock: Aw man…
Episode 14’s challenge is to cook something up for Arla.
Hugs: Oh, it’s nice to see another friendly face! But, how are we meant to cook?
Arla: Well, the Infinite Food Generator is right over there, and there are some tables-
RHM immediately just pushes Hugs onto the stand in front of Arla, startling her.
Right Hand Man: There. Since I’ve heard you like to cannibalize each other, this would count as a meal, right?
Arla: Um… I mean, I guess? So, uh… you both can move on.
Right Hand Man: What?
Hugs: YES!
Right Hand Man: Hey, she didn’t make or give you anything!
Arla: She contributed by being the meal, so I’m counting it. Move along.
Right Hand Man: …you’re lucky I have so little ammo left…
The two move on as Stanley makes it back up to episode 9, where Clock had been waiting.
Clock: Hey there, buddy! Why don’t we just speed things along? You don’t gotta go back through there!
Then how else are we- oh okay, we’re going over the maze, I see… clever.
Clock continued on, carrying Stanley over their head before making a bush to hide the two in from ADAGE.
ADAGE: Where’d they go? And why is there a bush here?
He leans in to get a good look at the bush…
ADAGE: Oh well, they must be somewhere else.
Clock and Stanley emerge from the ground behind him as they continue on. Hugs and Right Hand Man make it to episode 15’s challenge: storming a tower. YAHF, Cocktail Stick, Yuki, and this time Roboty are the guards of said towers. Hugs takes YAHF’s tower and Right Hand Man takes Roboty’s.
Right Hand Man: I should have an easy time with the limbless one…
Immediately, an axe attempted to take off his head, instead cleaving his top hat in half.
Right hand Man: What the hell?!
Hugs was having a much easier time, getting all the way up to the top where YAHF was with no issue.
Hugs: …really, nothing?
YAHF: Hehe, yeah… hey, since I’m out, but still have all my tokens, how about you have them!
Before they can say anything, all 5 of YAHF’s tokens are shoved into her hands… accidentally knocking her off the tower.
YAHF: Oops. Good luck, Hugs! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU!
Hugs: Thanks, YAHF… ow…
Back with the recommended characters and the rest of us, after I’ve recovered those I killed in my burst of anger, I just… sit by my fennec brother.
Kevin: …so who do you think is gonna be eliminated by the challenge?
Fenny: Huh? Oh… um, probably Stanley. He’s the weakest of the four, isn’t he?
Kevin: Yeah, I suppose. I’m banking on it being one of the debuters, though.
Fenny: Why?
Kevin: I mean, Clock is very sporadic, and will probably die again at some point, and Right Hand Man will probably get karma’d at like… one of the last challenges. I can feel it.
Fenny: …huh.
EK: Yeah, Right Hand has made way too many enemies. Even if he makes it through the challenge, he’ll probably end up eliminated by all the losers.
Kevin: …this challenge is taking soooo long… I wanna get to the voting…
Fenny: Then why don't you, like… speed up time or something?
Kevin: Because then the viewers would insult me for being lazy or something like that. Plus, it’s the finale, that would just be an insult to the entire show!
Fenny: …sorry…
Kevin: No, no, you’re fine, it’s just… this is a long contest, and we’re so close to the end! I’m so excited to properly finish a show of mine after so long.
EK: Right, how many shows did you try and make again?
Kevin: I dunno, I didn’t bother to count. …when do you think they’ll get here?
EK: I give them about another 45 minutes to two hours.
Kevin: …wait, why are you here?
EK: No one is at the quiz challenge.
Kevin: Oh right.
Back with the contestants, they somehow have caught up with each other again, now drawing a portrait of one of the eliminated contestants that were already involved with the contest. Hugs has Pixel, Stanley has 1000° Iron Ball, Right Hand has LSSP, and Clock has Tissues. They don’t… say anything as they draw. They all finish seconds within each other and move on to the spooky mansion.
Hugs: Great, what do we have to do here?
The Boo that was in this challenge before appears behind everyone, causing them to run away. A lot of other traps have to be avoided, and Clock ends up falling to one of them, getting trapped. The other three escape handily, though, and move onto the crab collection challenge, where a sign prefaces the pen of crabs.
Right Hand Man: “Collect 5 crabs to continue”?
Hugs: Doesn’t sound impossible. Sure is gonna hurt, though…
The three proceed along, Right Hand Man really having to resist the temptation to shoot either of his opponents currently. He doesn’t want to waste his bullets until later on.
Hugs decides to stick her scarf into the pen, and enough crabs latch onto the new item that she can dump them in and move on.
RHM: 2 shots left
A bullet grazes her ear as she leans over to set the crabs in her basket, whirling around to see RHM in shock that he actually missed.
Hugs: …screw you, bastard!
She runs off again as RHM curses under his breath, picking up crabs at an agonizing pace. Agonizing as in very painful for him.
Hugs: Alright, next up is the… money making challenge! What do we have… to…
There’s just a pedestal with the words “Place Money Here” engraved on the side in immediate sight of the cast. Hugs just sighs and pulls out her wallet, placing a dollar on it and running off as Stanley and Right Hand make it along as well, both groaning.
Clock, meanwhile, is busy trying to fend off the Boo with whatever he can find. Most of what they find is very unhelpful, however, until they stumble over a flashlight, causing the Boo to dissipate.
Clock: Oh… sweet!
They just… teleport out of the building and move along. Hugs makes it to the 20th episode’s contest, which is multi-choice. Shoot a ball of light with a spaceship laser, hit an opponent with a dodgeball (more robots), or play a round of Uno with Soda and Cube.
Hugs: …Uno seems the calmest.
Right Hand Man and Stanley take the other two routes once they make it, RHM taking the spaceship and Stanley picking dodgeball.
Alright, Stanley, mind if I help try to aim?
He nods resolutely. Clock also appears soon after, deciding to teleport to the table for a game of Uno. Momentary time skips provide each contestant with progression in the triple challenge until they all move onto episode 21, the helpers waving off the finalists.
Clock: Oh boy, this one… where are the trolleys?
Hugs: Well, the tracks and people are here for us…
Screens protrude from the ground, stating the objective: release all trapped victims from the tracks to proceed. Clock just snaps, and the ropes disappear, but before he can go anywhere…
RHM: 1 shot left
He gets blasted in the face, forcing him to start over.
Right Hand Man: One shot left… gotta make it count!
Hugs quickly makes work of the ropes via her claws, and Stanley receives a knife to cut through the ropes. RHM uses his own knife he just has on him to cut through his ropes, and they all move onto the volcano challenge. I only made dummy sacrifices, so they didn’t have to… actually kill people, haha. They all manage to make it up fairly well, only getting slightly scathed by all the obstacles before they throw the dummies in. These guys are determined, I’ll tell you what.
Right Hand Man: How are you two keeping up so well?!
Hugs: We’ve gone through the entire season, you gain some resilience under all these challenges!
RHM realizes just then that maybe he shouldn’t have wasted all of his ammo on insignificant annoyances…
Episode 23’s challenge is just a spinner with the finalists names on it, Vanilla being beside it.
Hugs: What does this do?
Vanilla: Since the whole challenge is very complicated here, we’ll just use the wheel to determine if you get to move on or not.
Great, more luck based tasks…
She spins the wheel, with the slice being chosen… Hugs’ slice.
Hugs: Yes!
Vanilla: You get a minute’s headstart.
RHM grumbles as Hugs runs off towards episode 24’s challenge. Clock is seen in a few split screens, in a panic as he quickly tries to do the first several challenges again before he gets back to the house, having to run from another Boo and its friends. Unfortunately for Hugs, her lead was moot, as she had to actually play the game Among Us on a console. She was barely midway into her own game when Right Hand Man and Stanley got over and got into their own games.
Hugs: Great… glad the wheel challenge did nothing.
Right Hand Man: Yeah, not great to know for me either, dog.
Hugs: …never address me as that ever again.
Right Hand Man: I just might, now that I know you don’t like it.
Clock eventually makes it to the wheel, flopping on the floor as he tries catching his breath.
Vanilla: Are you alright?
Clock: Yeah, just… whew, just never had to do so much so fast… not even folding a planet was this tiring…
Vanilla: That’s alright, take your time. You’ll need your energy for the rest of the contest.
Back with the others, Hugs won her first game due to everyone else sucking, while Stanley just gets killed as she leaves. Right Hand Man is close to killing one of his fellow crewmates until an emergency meeting is called.
Right Hand Man: THIS IS THE FIFTH ONE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!
At the date challenge, the only requirement is to kiss someone somewhere on their face. The four people there are Samantha, FID Waluigi, Amelia, and Doise.
Hugs: Heh, this is certainly gonna be a problem for Right Hand…
She walks right up to Sam, and tries standing on her tiptoes to reach Sam’s face, since she’s about two feet taller than her.
Samantha: Oh, sorry.
She leans down, allowing Hugs to kiss her cheek and move on… to Russian Roulette.
Hugs: Oh my GOD, NO-
Philbert, Charlotte, Level UP Waluigi, and Tommy were all present, with a hand protruding from the ground not too far from the table, presumably to recover the ousted players.
Hugs: …any chance that arm might recover me, too…?
Charlotte: We’ll just have to find out, I guess.
Hugs: Uuugh…
Right Hand Man joins in not long after as the revolver is spun around…
Clock and Stanley keep themselves busy with the Among Us challenge, trying their best to stay alive and win their respective games when they start hearing empty gun noises.
Shoot, I forgot the next challenge was… well, all about just that. We just need to hope we get lucky.
The gun lands on Tommy, meaning the order goes Tommy, Waluigi, Charlotte, Philbert, Hugs, and Right Hand Man. The blue berd picks up the gun and puts it up to his head… and nothing happens.
Tommy: Oh, thank goodness.
Hugs: Hey, wait, uh… how do we win this challenge?
Charlotte: Just survive until someone gets shot, he doesn’t want this taking too long.
A gunshot rings out as Level UP Waluigi’s bad luck gets the best of him again, his head now entirely gone.
Hugs: …well then. See you guys later!
The hand revives Waluigi as Clock and Stanley walk up. The two in the lead end up having to run away from the robotic Evil Leafy again, just giving them more incentive to beat the other. As does the laser tag challenge, which Right Hand Man quickly finishes by shooting Hugs’ vest before she can even put it on all the way.
Hugs: Hey, that’s cheating!
Right Hand Man: Says who?
Kevin: Says me. Put your vest on.
Right Hand Man: What-?
I was gone too fast for him to look at me.
Right Hand Man: Urgh, fine.
He puts his own vest on as Hugs finishes with theirs… then another laser whizzes past them, bouncing off of one of Clock’s bells. They turn to look, and lo and behold, Vernias and Yin-Yang are the two they have to try and survive against.
Hugs: Oh, of course it wouldn’t just be us.
Vernias: Rules are simple: just hit someone to move on. If you get hit, you have to wait about 10 seconds.
Yang: Good luck, losers!
RHM immediately hits Vernias’ vest as Hugs hits his.
Right Hand Man: Wha-?!
Hugs: You were a still target!
She gets knocked forward by Clock sliding in, holding Stanley over their head.
Right Hand Man: Great…
A stand-in for Ink Blob in the form of a cardboard cutout is quickly knocked down by Hugs knocking into it, having to recover for a few seconds before moving on to the last 8 contests needed to win. Clock and Stanley are busy trying to hit either the two opponents before them or each other. Right Hand Man sees the Ink Blob cutout being set back up, kicking it in the face and denting it before tailing Hugs. Clock and Stanley both hit the other two before leaving to catch up.
Kevin: Wow, I’m impressed! All four finalists have stayed caught up with each other for most of the contest.
EK: They’re really determined to win… whatever you have planned.
Kevin: It’ll be good, don’t worry.
The 31st episode’s contest was turned into climbing up the pole and staying on it for five seconds. Clock helped Stanley out by teleporting the both of them up.
Right Hand Man: What happened to not caring about helping people?!
Clock: I said I didn’t care about winning, just having fun! And helping this guy is really fun!
We appreciate you, Clock.
Clock: Yayyy!
Right Hand Man: Uuuugh…
The time ends for the two not currently climbing, and they move on to the pizza eating contest via an invisible staircase. Clock went down perfectly fine, but since Stanley wasn't expecting steps, he ended up falling down them. Very painfully.
Oh gosh… are you alright, Stanley?
He raises a thumbs up before Clock, having shoved the entire pie into his mouth, drags him over and starts helping him force down the pizza. Hugs and Right Hand Man finally get atop their poles, Right Hand Man preparing to knock Hugs off… unfortunately for him, he waits until the last second, and his foot swipe is hopped over as their time ends.
Hugs: Nice try~!
Right Hand Man: I’m gonna end you!
They race down as Stanley finishes off the pizza, moving onto the Wii Sports contest on another TV. They decide on Bowling.
Clock: At least this time I can try not destroying the alley…
Hugs joins them swiftly, still stuffing the pizza into her mouth and tossing a pink token behind her. Right Hand Man is just busy trying to stuff his face as efficiently as he can before he tries shooting one of his opponents to ensure their loss. He catches up just as Stanley and Clock finish bowling and Hugs finishes Tennis, leaving him behind.
Right Hand Man: God dammit!
He throws his controller at Clock, knocking a Frozen Token out of his hammerspace and somehow having it land on Hugs, freezing her.
Right Hand Man: …well, that works.
He gets to gaming as Clock throws an Arson Token behind him, which starts a fire behind her that starts thawing the canine. The next challenge is just to hit the bell on a strength tester.
Clock: Well, this should be easy!
He grabs the mallet and swings it way too far back before slamming the sensor, sending the little whatever the thing is called all the way up to the bell, almost cracking it.
Clock: Good luck, Stanley!
Oh wow, thanks for the confidence… alright, Stanley, we can do this.
Right Hand Man gets finished with his game as Hugs finishes thawing out. She flops on the ground, shivering violently, which actually helps her not get pushed into the flames like RHM planned.
Right Hand Man: See you at the finish!
Hugs: NO!
She quickly gets up and runs after him to try and catch up. Clock runs up to the zombie challenge, which is now to defeat said zombies. Another recovery center and another arm holding a red plus are to the side, where Guy, Mario, Generic Blue Stick Guy, and Elizabeth are there, green and ready to fight… anyone but Clock, who just walks through and pokes Mario with a needle, killing him in SMB fashion. They then move onto the next challenge, saving a loser from another tower.
Clock: Didn’t know there were three tower contests in this game…
Profily, Skater Dog, Cherries, and Floretta were the contestants left at the top of the tower. But we’ll be focusing on the three contestants who all managed to get past the strength tester (somehow).
Was that pointed?
Maybe. Anyways, they’re all just sort of… punching the zombies into submission, and that works out, so on they go. Hugs takes Floretta, RHM takes Profily, Clock has already taken Skater Dog back down to the ground via walking up and down the walls while the others were fighting, and Stanley takes Cherries. Clock moves onto the large maze, which he tries flying over again, but I create a forcefield to block that off.
Kevin: Sorry, Clock! You can’t cheese the repeat of this contest just like that.
Clock: Aw, shucks! Guess I gotta go through…
And so he goes through, the other three quick to slide down the back of their respective towers and follow suit after dropping their people off. A four way split screen shows the four running through the maze, some more panicked than others. Clock makes it out first, then Stanley and Right Hand Man, Hugs trailing behind as they all make it to the last challenge: the beach episode. Clock just erects a sandcastle, kicks it over, and moves onto his volleyball opponent, Snowball. Wheel, Teardrop, and TSC were the last three opponents of the challenge for the others. The other three try to pack up anything that looks like a tower, Hugs starting to feel the exhaustion settle in.
Hugs: No, no, no, no…! I can’t lose, I can’t!
Right Hand Man: What happened to that resilience, huh?
He just laughs as he finishes, Hugs deciding hers is good enough and stomping it back down and moving on. Stanley’s own little tower is simply deleted by his Narrator, and he moves on to face off against his boyfriend’s pal. Hugs has TD, and RHM has Wheel. Clock’s game had been going as they finished, and it’s just Clock acting like a Pong paddle as Snowball tries to get the ball past them.
Snowball: How do you even work?
He gets hit on the head, knocking him over and causing Clock to win. Hugs is struggling to keep up with TD, but she is keeping up well enough. Stanley and TSC are just playing leisurely, not caring about trying to be competitive, while RHM just destroys Wheel immediately. The last contest is already done for Clock, who just has to search through a giant pile of sand for four treasure chests, one for each contestant, and place it on a pedestal. As he leaves, Stanley finishes, giving Hugs enough angry motivation to spike the volleyball right through TD and move on herself.
Kevin: It looks like Clock is the first one in the final three!
YAHF: Come on, really?!
Hugs: YAHF!
YAHF: Huh?
She holds up the Call-In Token, causing YAHF to gasp in excitement.
Hugs: Sure could use some HELP!
YAHF: YESSS!
As RHM digs out of the pile, treasure chest in hand, YAHF spawns right in front of him Evil Leafy style, causing him to yelp and drop the chest into Stanley’s hands, who goes to turn it in.
Right Hand Man: Grrr! I thought I had enough of you!
He tackles the word block to the ground, accidentally hitting Hugs in the chest, causing her to drop the gun she got in episode 38. She then gets an idea…
YAHF: Get off of me, bastard!
Right Hand Man: I’m not letting you take away my win!
He punches her in the face three times before getting kicked off, and as YAHF stands, RHM prepares his last shot, aims it at Hugs as everyone gasps in horror…
BANG!
RHM: 1 shot left
Hugs: 0 shots left
But he was too slow for once.
He flops down, as it was revealed Hugs was holding the now smoking gun… and her Victory Token.
Hugs: I figured I should have some safety in case I missed.
She gets transported past the finish line, along with her helper.
Kevin: Would you look at that, I was right! With a dramatic conclusion and an oversight that I forgot about, Hugs is our last final 3 participant! And Right Hand Man is ELIMINATED!
Everyone cheers as Right Hand Man is revived again, looking shell-shocked. He turns to Hugs, who’s just looking at him smugly before waving.
Right Hand Man: …no… no, no, no, NO NO NO NO NO! I HAD IT! I WAS RIGHT THERE AT THE END! I COULD’VE WON! BUT THOSE STUPID TOKENS OF HERS HAD TO SCREW ME OVER!
Kevin: Yes, that’s how they wor-
He tries to shoot at me, but his cartridge remains empty.
Kevin: …you are an idiot if you thought that would do anything to me.
Right Hand Man: Oh shut up, Mr. Attention Seeker! You think you’re all that, but-
A much larger hole is shot through his face via me pressing my hand-turned-gun right against his mustache and pulling the trigger.
[Hey, could I possibly get my job back, now that your tantrum is over?]
Hell no, this is way more fun. Besides, I’m sounding plenty like you. You’re lucky you get glimpses out of my head now.
[Oh, that’s where I am]
Goodbye again.
Kevin: Alright, now that that’s all dealt with, it’s time for the next phase of the finale: the eliminated contestant voting! And I’m including all the losers, from the eliminated people to the failed debuters, who made their own shows. AWESOME goes first, since it finished first, then EKCER, then my losers.
Cream: Why are you doing it like that?
Kevin: Because I… want to? I don’t know what you want me to respond with. Okay, Grassy, you go first. Vote for any of Hugs, Stanley, or Clock to be eliminated.
Grassy walks up and votes for Stanley.
Grassy: Sorry, I voted for who seemed the least friendly, and since I can’t vote your voice…
Wha- wooow, okay then…
Tomater voted for Stanley as well before leaving. The Doise voted for Clock, along with Blue and Wheel.
Kevin: Hey, it wasn’t your turn!
Wheel I don’t care, I don’t like the guy!
The Doise: I just honestly find him the creepiest.
Notepad also voted for Stanley, whereas Cocktail Stick Anon votes Clock.
Cocktail Stick: Just like the other two better.
Yuki: Sorry, Hugs, but I voted for the other two to win, so I gotta vote for you.
Hugs: Aw…
Amelia votes for Clock as well before quickly getting away, and Mario votes for Clock as well. Gun 2 votes for Stanley.
Gun 2: Humans freak me out a bit, and the other two are less humanoid…
TI-30 votes for Stanley for being the weakest. Liam votes for Clock for also being freaked out by a host, and Red Eraser votes for Hugs.
Red Eraser: I wanna be a contrarian!
Kevin: Is Hugs the only person with things to say here?
Clock: I don’t feel like responding, no one is talking to me.
Kevin: Whatever.
GBSG votes for Clock, Teardrop votes for Stanley, Flash votes for Hugs, Cheez-It follows in her footsteps, and IAOB also votes for Stanley.
Kevin: Alright, you all are done, now for EKCER’s cast.
CoCo runs up and votes for Hugs.
CoCo: You suck for that comment.
Hugs: You suck in general.
CoCo is dragged off before anything else can happen, and iPod walks up to Stanley and just presses his buzzer before walking off.
Kevin: The rest of you can vote however.
Vernias: Wanna vote for Clock?
Samantha: Not really, I’m thinking of voting Stanley. He hasn’t done much.
Well, that’s just rude.
The two vote their separate ways, as Skater Dog follows in the Clock vote.
Earth: Um… I vote Stanley, he was… kind of a floater…
Golf Ball: I concur, compared to the other two, Stanley rarely did anything of importance surrounding the contest. I vote Stanley, as well.
Yellow: Golf Ball, I thought we could be friends!
Golf Ball: He should’ve done more, then.
Squidward: That Clock fellow reminds me far too much of that infernal sponge…
Level UP Waluigi just jumps onto Clock’s buzzer, whereas FID Waluigi presses Stanley’s buzzer. Elizabeth and Floretta follow in the Stanley vote.
Floretta: Sorry, you just… seem like the most boring winner.
Elizabeth: No offense.
Stanley just frowns at them.
Berd: Well, Hugs ain’t getting a lot of votes, so…
Left Cherry: Yeah, why would it matter if we voted for her?
Hugs: Wha- throwaway votes now? Really?
Airy: I agree with the kids… Stanley is kinda… there…
Brainy: Well, I vote for Clock, hosts are a terrifying thing and he’s super unpredictable.
Clock: Awh…
Guy: Well, um… yeah, I gotta vote for Hugs, vore is weird.
Hugs: cool, great, okay.
Kevin: Now for the majority! Go ahead, elimination order.
Tissues runs up and votes for Clock.
Tissues: I don’t like hosts! Mine suuuucked!
Pixel, meanwhile, votes for Hugs.
Pixel: still salty over your dumb girlfriend rejoining over me
They get smashed in the face by the butt of Hugs’ gun, forcing them to be recovered without the translator. They slide off, swearing up a storm.
Kevin: Sucks to be you, I guess.
Packing Peanut: Hey, can we skip if we don’t wanna vote?
Kevin: Just vote random.
Packing Peanut: Aw, okay…
He votes for Stanley. Soda votes for Clock, with the reason of knowing the other two better, and Red M&M… I forgot to bring him back. Oh well, what’s one less vote?
1000° Iron Ball: Hugs was on Rainbow Brick’s team and he ended up getting me out! I don’t have any other reason to vote for the other two, anyways!
Hugs: Screw you!
T-Shirt: Honestly… I could care less, but I guess Clock, since he got in late.
Tailspike: That is true, Clock has done less than the other two to get to this point. I’ve been on a team with Stanley, and Hugs is quite pleasant.
Pentadecagon: Well, I’m voting for Stanley. He’s done less, in my opinion.
LSSP also votes for Stanley, since he was connected to Snowball through Charlotte, the former getting their team UFE. These reasons suck, but I’m not trying to affect their votes.
I’d appreciate it if you did…
Philbert: Y’know what, Berd had the right idea. It’s funnier to vote the least voted person!
Hugs just groans and slams her head against the buzzer.
Kevin: That press doesn’t count.
Yellow M&M: Well, Clock does sort of scare me… plus, I never got to know him since he joined after I was out.
Rainbow Brick: Yeah, me too.
Monitor: I vote Hugs. If for nothing other than making things feel close, and also she has too much screentime.
Crave Me Bar: Dude, you are sick. But, uhm… I gotta vote Stanley, the others are funnier.
Tiery: One is my friend, and one was my teammate. Clock.
Cube: Yeah, I vote Clock too, I’ve had bad experiences with hosts.
Minecraft Steve: Well, I vote for Stanley, for variety. Also, he’s boring.
Tommy: Clock. Dude was scary with his abilities.
Kevin: Bucket can’t vote regularly, so Yin-Yang is next.
Yin: Clock, obviously.
Yang: The other two were our teamies from day one!
I’ll count that as two votes for once.
Kinen: Yeah, same here. It’d be just like the later half of the duos if I voted my girlfriend…
Cane’s Cup: Clock.
Charlotte: Clock.
No Way: Well, I vote Stanley. Clock was sorta cool in ITFT, and when we were teammates.
Words With Friends Tile: Same vote for me, dude.
Arla: Well, um… I- I vote for Clock, I can’t vote for Hugs’ alliance member…
8-Ball: I vote for Stanley, he did nothing later on.
Yellow: Clock, obviously.
Profily: I can’t vote for my good old debuter buddy! And Stanley has been getting too many votes anyways! I vote for Hugs.
Snowball: Well, I vote for Clock.
The Second Coming: Me too.
YAHF: And I, the last voter, will also vote for Clock.
Kevin: Well, you aren’t really the last, we still have RHM.
I revive him again.
Kevin: Vote one of the final three out.
He runs up and slams Hugs’ buzzer as hard as he possibly can.
Right Hand Man: You didn’t deserve this.
Hugs: No, you didn’t.
Kevin: And that’s game! Let’s see all the votes!
The elimination TV comes out of the ground and starts loading the votes, quickly showing these results:
Clock: 31
Stanley: 24
Hugs: 14
Kevin: And it looks like Clock, our other remaining debuter, must settle for bronze.
YAHF: YEAH-HAHA! I got both of my remaining enemies eliminated! WOOO-
He gets punched in the mouth by a still raging RHM, who then gets frozen by one of Clock’s last three Frozen Tokens.
Kevin: Thank you, Clock.
Clock: No problem! He needed to chill out.
YAHF: Ow… did he break a tooth?
Kevin: Nothing I can’t fix. But now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, me especially… it’s time to see who was voted the WINNER of my Incredibly Dumb Showdown!
Hugs: Hey, quick question, why did you call it that? Were you that self-deprecative at the start of the show?
Kevin: Oh, no, I just wanted a funny acronym. I like when shows have acronyms.
Hugs: Oh, okay.
The true villain of the show: hey
I look over to see… a red triangle.
Kevin: Who are you supposed to be?
The true villain of the show: i’m uhhhhh the villain that’s here to ruin your finale
Kevin: …okay. What are you gonna do?
The triangle kicks over the empty buzzer, knocking it over before Stanley just puts it right back up.
The true villain of the show: aw rats you foiled me
The triangle then just sits at the edge of the bleachers.
Kevin: …I like you, you’re funny. Anyways, let’s get through the final vote reasons before the winner reveal! First off, the reasons for the losers. RHM’s separate voters were the solution to the problem, White_Tiger, and ADAGE, with a few others contributing to their votes for a total of 69 votes. Out of a total 1021.
Everyone makes a noise of shock at the vote total.
Soda: 1021?! For this show?!
Kevin: I made it multivote.
Philbert: Still, that’s a ton of votes for a show like this!
Kevin: By the way, solution, screw off. My entire purpose is to be strong, and if you can’t handle me at my strongest up to this point, tough tootsie rolls. I’m not getting any weaker. …even if I wanted to, exponential power doesn’t just stop.
Right Hand Man: Hurry up!
Kevin: Fine… I’ll only be reading the reasons that were actual messages and not just the several numbers one of you sent in. though it definitely won’t be all of them…
YAHF just looks away, a guilty yet gleeful smile on her face.
Kevin: The first reason is actually from problem solution themselves, who says “hugs probably deserves this win. her and kinen have become two standout characters, which is shocking for gacha vore characters of all people.” Crazy what you can do with them, lol. “she's had one of the better arcs and she's generally been an entertaining character. stanley, while funny, isn't really as good as a character, while i keep forgetting clock exists, so it should be hugs who has been a surprising hit since the first episode.
naturally, i am instead voting for right hand man.”
Hugs: What?!
Kevin: “for someone who has only been in for 9 episodes, he's been one of the best players, even though this wasn't even cybernetic right hand man so it's just some tough guy with a gun. he's not really had enough time to develop a social game so i'm going to use that as an excuse to ignore him being a prick because i'm gonna be honest, while hugs is probably the best winner from a narrative perspective, right hand man is the best winner from a show perspective. and besides. cecu antagonist winner.
i know that most cecu voters are absolute cowards who see someone being somewhat mean or even 'evil' and flock like sheep to condemn them, but logically, right hand man has played a phenomenal game for someone who's had less time to shine than the others. this will be a wasted vote, i'm sure, but dammit, i choose to believe we can make a difference and go down in history.” I mean it was, but not for the reason you might’ve thought. Also, there's a song at the end. Ahem… “so STEP ON UP TO THE PLAAAATTTTTTEEEE
MEET YOUR FATE
WALKIN STRAIGHT ON INTO THE LION'S LAIR
STEP ON UP, UP TO THE PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTEEEEE
CAUSE THIS AIN'T NO GAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMEEEEEEE
IT'S TIME TO MAKE HISTORY YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Right Hand Man: Well, I appreciate the vote. Sucks that I had everything taken from me just because someone couldn’t win on their own.
Hugs: It was poetic, and also I hate you.
Kevin: White_Tiger said “two years, huh? wild ride.” Not even a full two years, amazingly. “like from a winner perspective stanley would be a cool winner but also RIGHT HAND MAN MY GOAT LOCK IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Right Hand Man: I tried…
Kevin: Eight also voted for you once, saying “oh i didn't know it was a purposeful multi vote.
anyway i feel like this outcome would be really underwhelming in the best possible way.
go right hand man do crime.”
Right Hand Man: I’ve still got the Toppat Clan, I will.
The Second Coming: Wow, you are annoying. Why’s your voice like that?
Right Hand Man: Fuck you.
Kevin: And the last person to say anything about you was ADAGE. Buddy?
ADAGE: “First of all, congratulations on finishing the show! It's been quite the wild ride. Obviously I'm rooting for Right Hand Man since he's the guy I'm voting, but I don't think I'd be mad if any of the other finalists won. Also "sorry ADAGE but i don't think you're relevant enough to take part in the final showdown" "this is bullshit you let spongebob in" (I'm not actually upset lol; just spectating is more fun anyway)”
Kevin: Thanks man!
ADAGE: Want me to say my other piece?
Kevin: Nah, it wouldn’t really make sense.
Hugs: What other piece?
Kevin: He sent in 40 votes exactly, one for each and every episode of this show. Well, every proper one.
ADAGE: I thought it would be poetic.
Hoe Kohzd: and i forgot to vote this time again, I need to check AO3 more
Kevin: It’s fine. Anyways, Clock got a lot more votes than that, at 255 votes, most of which were from Jay over here.
Jay: Because it would be funny, lol
Kevin: oh right, you’re still frogs
I reset their forms, but keep them small so I can pick Bucket up and flatten them with it.
Kevin: Ha ha.
Arla: Why are you two so mean to each other?
Kevin: It’s our style of friendship! It’s all in good fun, even when it pisses me off to no end. Anyways, moving on, Yuki voted for Clock for this reason: “Oof, I feel bad for clock
having to suffer through cramps is tough.”
Clock: Oh yeah, I never knew that happened to people… my condolences to all who have them.
Hugs: Yeah, they… they suck to go through.
Kevin: Those were all your reasons. Yeah, RF cast 254 of those 255 votes, if the nameless slots are anything to go by.
CoCo: (muffled) How did you manage that?
Jay: (muffled) Like I said, it was funny.
Kevin: Now, you final two each got at least three vote reasons each, so lemme read them out! William’s first message before all of his others was “I mean what else did you expect from me
Tiiiiiiissssssssss I THE LORE guy
ITS THE FINAL TRIVIA DUDUDUDU DUDUDUDUDU DUDUDUDU FINAL TRIVIA
File opened:
Passive Skill
Scholar of Systems
Can switch through different power systems with a cooldown.
While using a system has full access to every power in that system and every power he himself has developed using that system.
Switching to different powers has a cooldown.” Ah, that sorta makes sense why we failed to take him down together.
William: Yyyyeahhhh… sorry bout that.
Kevin: Whatever, he’s dead now, who cares. Also, this show wasn’t inspired by ADVBU, it was inspired by TWSGS.
William: whoops
Kevin: His other piece of lore is this.
He presses a button, and the TV switches to this:
File Opened
Name: William Gnaritas
Titles/Aliases: Scholar of Systems, LORE guy, Derailer of Timelines, Conductor of Eternity's End Train Resort, That guy who keeps messing with shows
Family: [Redacted]
Species: Grand Voidling Scholar
Dimension set as "Home": [Redacted]
Known Powers: A Lot
Likes: His Wife, Cheesecake, His Daughters, His Wife
William: Yep! Anyways, GO POLYCULE, WIN THIS SHIT!
Hugs: I’ll try!
Kevin: Moving on, the first vote for Stanley is from Eight, who accidentally sent another vote when they didn’t realize it was multi-vote. “stanley stared into the distance with his eyes laxed.
he wasn't sure what he had wanted out of this experience.
he wasn't sure how exactly he'd changed as a person.
but for once in his life.
he could feel accomplished.
fuck you narrator you're out of a job.”
Screw you as well, I’m not going anywhere. You think because you said a few lines, you’re suddenly replacing me? Don’t be silly.
Kevin: Feeling a little insulted, Narr?
Don’t call me that.
Kevin: Whatever! Next reason for Hugs comes from Apple ⟡, who has a lot to say, so she can say it herself!
Apple: Oh, cool, okay um… NOOOO DUDE KEVIN YOU CNAT DO THIS TO ME YOU CANT USE MY BIT AGAINST ME NOOIDSFODSH THAT WAS MY FICTIONKIN NODOOSDOFDSFHDSFJHDSKJFHKDSHF CURSE YOU RHM CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU”
Kevin: Hehe, I couldn’t resist, sorry
Apple: tsc sweetheart im being so fr this is why theyre killing you off next episode
The Second Coming: WHAT-?!
Apple: ok now time to pretend to be a normal functioning member of society CONGRATS KEVIN FOR ALMOST FINISHING THIS???!! It's been so genuinely awesome to read/watch and see my favorite characters win and be utter disappointments, every time I see this update I get so excited <3 also thank you to the other voters for making things so much more exciting!! Y'all are awesome!!! and the contestants too ig /silly
Life's been a mess for me lately but genuinely this show always pops up at the right time to make things so much better
I can't believe we're almost done...speaking of that
Hugs. Hugs listen I need you to win this ok if Right Hand Man wins the whole thing istg Hugs I'm putting my whole faith in you ok you can't throw this I need you to rip out that stick figure's entire spine Hugs ok I need you to Not Throw™ right at the end ok ok
Hugs: I didn’t, don’t worry.
Right Hand Man: I hate you so, so much right now.
Apple: also TSC as an apology for throwing a brick and a boat at you those one times have a bag of assorted peppermints they're totally not laced with uranium-235 idk where I'd even find that
Good luck final four!! Except you Right Hand Man screw you watch your back
A bag of peppermints drops right into TSC’s hands.
Yellow: Ooh, peppermints! Can I have one?
The Second Coming: Sure, dude. Just hope they keep their word.
They both pop one into their mouths…
Seconds later, they’re reduced to colorful puddles. I quickly recover them, but since they’ve been reverted to their first appearance, they unfortunately no longer have voices. Or faces, but y’know. The fact saddens them, causing them to slump over slightly.
Kevin: Sorry, guys.
TSC just waves me off, saying it’s fine before they go back and sit in a different spot than their puddle, which I quickly erase.
Kevin: …next reason for Stan comes from itscamcordr, who says “lock tf innnnnn (also hi yellow and tsc :3)”
They both wave hi, immediately starting to resent the burst of apple for causing them to have to be recovered.
Apple: …sorry. Didn’t think it would do that.
Kevin: The last vote we’ll read for Hugs before the big reveal is from YAHF, of course.
YAHF: IM GONNA CHEER YOU ON EVERYONE WILL HEAR MY CHEERS THEY WILL BE HEARD FROM THE TOPS OF MOUNTAINS TO THE BOTTOMS OF THE SEAS AND AROUND THE WORLD AND STRAIGHT FROM THE CORE OF THE EARTH ALL THE WAY TO THE UNSEEABLE EXPANSIVE MULTIVERSE MY CHEERS WILL BE HEARD!!!!!!!!!! GOOOO HUGS GOOOOOO WOOOOO YOUR LIKE THE ONLY PERSON WHO DESERVES THE WIN WOOOOOOOO sorry stanley no sorry to CLOCK or Right Hand Man 😒😒😒😒😒😒 I definitely could’ve won the whole thing had they both been eliminated earlier but oh well I had my own personal victory just competing and being seen as a real contestant also the fact that I got to be in the spotlight so many times Ahhhhh Im so glad to have been apart of the show anyways I expect that my lungs are gonna explode from screaming and cheering you on as you claim your victory Hugs!!!… actually I have no internal organs i am just made up of four letter blocks so like uhh I dunno how I function or exist for that matter 😶 (Kevin: Just like any other object, really) anyways WOOOO GOO HUGS AND WIN IT ALL TO MAKE ME FORGET ABOUT HOW I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T FUNCTION RIGHT NOW WOOOOOOO
Kevin: And the last vote for Stanley that we’ll read comes from… Curiosity_Guest! Who says “Oh I wanted to *BRBRBRBRBBRBRBBRBRB* UNIVERSE NOT FOUND REFRESHING ORIGINAL UNIVERSE FOUND
...
Erm what the banhappened” No clue. “Whatever well I wanted to vote Stanley
I've seen him again and again and I liked how he played through the thousands of words I've overseen throughout the journey of the chapters I've found Stanley to be my favorite along with Bucket and Narrator (hi Narrator)
And to show my gratitude by giving you this vote
*SNAP*
A small yellow circle pin lands in front of Stanley
Hehe enjoy
[Have to agree on this statement, Let the winner be declared today and tomorrow.]”
Said pin is picked up by Stanley and placed on his shirt.
Well, isn’t that nice, Stanley? A final gift!
Kevin: Alright, now it’s time for the vote reveal!
The drumroll from BFB 28 plays as the final two’s vote bars raise up and out of the TV…
Before Stanley’s bar slams right back down.
Everyone: WHAT?!
Kevin: Yeah, it, uh… wasn’t close at all. Stanley only got 22 votes, 23 if I counted Eight’s other vote. Meanwhile, Hugs, with a whopping 674 votes, mainly from YAHF, I am proud to say that you are the winner of Kevin’s Incredibly Dumb Showdown!!
Everyone that isn’t Right Hand Man cheers for them (I already reverted Jay and CoCo back to normal), YAHF, Kinen, and Arla obviously being the loudest. Meanwhile, Hugs is just in gleeful shock.
Hugs: I won? I really won?! YE-HE-HEEEESS!
Her partners run up and tackle her in a hug.
Kinen: YOU WON!
Arla: WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!
Kevin: Yeah, and even if we only counted the individual voters, she still would’ve won at 5 votes to Stan’s three. The other two got 3 and 2 votes as well.
Hugs: HA! I would’ve beaten you even if the extra votes didn’t count, Right Hand!
Right Hand Man: FUCK OFF, ARSEHOLE!
YAHF then hopes up and re-wraps the rope they had before around RHM’s neck, strangling him.
Kevin: Well, he also had three votes, but… yeah. The last votes I’ll read out are from sadboiflowerz and The Musical Fish, the latter beig the last one to vote! In order, they said “she just feels like the main character. even though CECU shows don’t really have a main character.”
Hugs: Oh, did I give off that impression? Well, since you voted for me, I guess that means you liked that, so thanks!
Kevin: And TMF says “...hi, to explain why I'm ever so slightly charred. Bomb... plural I guess too.” Whuh?
I look over to se the sona of TMF charred in the crowd… before they wipe themselves off.
Kevin: Ohhhh, okay. “Sorry for missing out on voting :(. I'll make up for it dw!!!.. at least I hope it's enough-. Vote this time WASN'T from my brother, instead it was my friend :]. And yes I still love you all and I can't make up my mind for booty 🥀. That's the most I've talked recently... I think, so the song(s) for the final time is...
I Just Want To Dance by SacriStuff (... :])
And...
Blind Spots by C418 (... :) )
AND...
Judgement Knights of Thunder by Saikic Lover (INK BLOB'S TOO MERCIFUL DEATH WAS THE WORK OF DARK REUNION!1!!1!1!(/j...))
I've been rusty with the facts... so HAVE FOUR AT ONCE! FOUR DIFFERENT SPECIES! Fishy Facts!: Humboldt squids are... nightmares-. They hunt in groups of 1,000+ and flash a bright red to signal to the others of easy prey. If one signals around you, then you'll get dragged down to the depths and ripped apart by beaks that can possibly crush bones :3. Hollywood didn't have to do sharks dirty, they're actually more-so described by divers as giant puppies, especially Blue sharks... don't go out and pet one through-.This one.. I won't say anything, just search up "Basket Star", cool and creepy lil guys :]. The longest creature isn't a whale, it's actually a "chain" of the same animals that can reach over 160ft in length.”
No Way: Well, I know you like it when I respond, so cool facts! Even if that squid is very, very terrifying.
The Musical Fish: It’s supposed to be. Thank you!
Snowball: Alright, now that that’s all out of the way, what’s the prize for this show?
Kevin: Ah yes, the long awaited prize you’ve all been battling for! After a long 17 and something weeks, Hugs, you finally get to receive your prizes! First of all, you get the classic Grand Cake, made of all the prizes handed out!
I snap, and the excuse of a pastry is spawned in. Hugs looks at it in mild shock before pulling out her last four Hunger Tokens and offering them to her loudest cheerleaders.
Kinen: Oh, uhm… sure, I guess.
Arla: I think it tastes better than it looks.
YAHF: Yes please
Kevin: You can eat it later. Secondly, you get the fabled Golden Dr. Pepper.
I hold out my hand, and out of it emits a glowing, golden can of Dr Pepper, causing Hugs’ eyes to widen in awe.
Kevin: This is the last of its kind, since I drank all the rest, and it is SUPER tasty. So I want you to have it. But that’s not all!
Hugs: What could be better than one of your own driiii… is that?
She points to the long forgotten token… in the shape of my head.
Kevin: Yep! You get the final Kevin Token, now with 100% more permanence!
Hugs: Wait, what?! I can’t handle that much power!
Kevin: Yes, you can, I just know you can. Plus, it’d be a little rude to deny you your full prize, now wouldn’t it?
Hugs: …I guess so… are you sure this is safe?
Kevin: …100%. I promise.
I give her my most reassuring smile, causing her take take the token and toss it up into the air, effectively using it.
A blinding light pillar envelops her, startling her two furry partners backwards. Her arms start to spread wide as her eyes become a blinding white, contrasting her black silhouette. Any sound is drowned out by the radiance of the light.
And just a few seconds after it began… it ends, with Hugs dropping back down to the ground, none the worse for wear… and looking exactly the same as before.
Hugs: …oh, I was… expecting some sort of, like, horrific transformation. So, how do…?
I give her a paper slip.
Kevin: Here’s my number. You can call me if you ever need help figuring out your new powers. And I’m guessing I’m gonna be called a lot.
Hugs: Hehe, yeah…
I look back over everyone, interacting for one last time on this void-ish planet. Stanley being comforted by his partner, Cane’s Cup and Tailspike talking with Crave Me and Packing Peanut, the couples of course talking to each other… I take a deep breath…
Kevin: …well, everyone, it’s been a fun ride, but sadly… it’s time for everyone to head back home.
Charlotte: Wait, what? But-
Kevin: Don’t worry, you all will be able to visit each other whenever you want. I installed a little function in your brains to open portals to other places you want to visit your friends at.
Soda: Eugh, creepy.
Kevin: That’s just how I roll.
I open a huge, color-changing portal that should send everyone back home based on who they are. The pass contestants try to run towards it, but I open the portal back to their show’s dimension as soon as they try to run, forcing them all back in.
Hoe Kohzd: Lol, thanks man. And thanks for letting me watch your finale, sorry I didn’t talk much
Kevin: You didn’t need to. Thanks for letting me be a small part of your show!
Hoe Kohzd: dude you were awesome, what do you mean small part. Okay Byeeee
They jump in, and I close the portal on them. The recommended characters all entered in as we were talking, leaving all the contestants remaining. One by one, they all entered the portal, though some stayed back due to having nowhere to go. Namely Samantha, Elizabeth, and Floretta.
EK: Hey, don’t worry, guys, you can come with me and my family until we figure out a new place for you to go!
Floretta: You’d do that for us?
EK: Why not? It’s the least we could do!
As the final 10 go back through the portal, YAHF hangs back so she can give Hugs one last hug.
Hugs: Hehe, I’m gonna miss you.
YAHF: Me too… hopefully I get to see you in season two!
Kevin: oh, you definitely will…
YAHF then skips along into the portal, with Hugs and her girlfriends following shortly behind.
Hugs: Kev?
Kevin: Hm?
Hugs: …thanks for hosting the show. It was super fun!
…woah, I… um…
Snap
She gives him one last hug, Kinen and Arla joining in, as Kevin is nearly brought to tears before hugging them back. They’d be happy tears, don’t worry.
Kinen: Even though you got us killed a lot, I’d love to see you visit us in our home world!
Arla: Yeah, that’d be super fun!
Kevin: I’ll be sure to. Oh yeah, one more thing, Hugs!
Right before she leaves through the portal, she turns before being handed another invitation.
Hugs: Huh? …really?!
Kevin: Really.
Hugs: Oh my gosh, thank you thank you thank you! I’ll see you later!!
She hops back through the portal, leaving Kevin and his family left. The fox takes another look around, seeing that now everything is empty. The bleachers, the contest grounds… he look back at the small planet, at all the buildings that litter its surface…
He sits. Fennifer notices and sits beside him.
Fennifer: Are you alright, honey?
Kevin: …I’m gonna miss this place.
Fennifer: Yeah, me too… It was a lot of fun seeing you host a show again. Even more since I got to be a host for most of it!
Kevin: Really? Even though you…?
Fennifer: I had faith you would come and save us, and you did. You didn’t need to drag it out to make the show more “interesting,” but you did it all the same. I’m proud of you, honey.
Kevin gives her a tearful smile before stuffing his face into her dress and hugging her.
Cream: Are you two ready?
They look up to see everyone else is at the portal mouth.
Fennifer: Ready to go back home, sweetheart?
Kevin: …um… I’d, actually kinda… rather… explore this multiverse more, Mom.
Fennifer: Ah, I understand. It’s an interesting place. Well, since you can get home by yourself, I trust you. Just make sure not to destroy too many universes if they make you angry, okay?
Kevin: Okay, Momma, I won’t. Thanks for hosting with me.
He turns to the rest of his family.
Kevin: Thank… all of you. For sticking around.
His family all give their positive responses before waving him goodbye and stepping through the portal. Fennifer ruffles his hair, causing both to chuckle before she steps through as well, the portal slowly closing soon after. And with that, Kevin has no one left around him, but an entire multiverse to see… and that alone exceeds his possible loneliness.
Kevin: (deep breath) Alright…
Here we go.