Chapter Text
Honey’s first album drops six months after signing a deal with her label. First One Out of The Trenches is a twelve-track masterpiece, according to critics. And well, Honey does consider some of the pieces to be masterpieces from her old world—all she really did was record the vocals and work with a producer to emulate the parts of the background tracks she remembers.
As per one of the clauses in her contract, she is promptly sent on a worldwide expedition she’s taken to calling “How many copies of this record can I convince people to buy so that I’m not unemployed by the end of this month?”
The Gotham Gazette @gothamgazette
Gotham’s own HONEY set to visit these prime destinations after a record-breaking debut!
Comments:
my love is traveling the world @honeyslyfe
i just know Maya Wolff crying herself to sleep tn
Cherry @blossom032
replying to @honeyslyfe
lol here come the MDF
Fourth Human Ever
replying to @honeyslyfe
be careful oomf they’re gonna get you
Kyle @kylestuffin
Her album is actually kind of a good album. Females are always one-hit wonders, though, so I wouldn’t be putting any bets on her future successes.
#1 BEEWORKER @cherhill006
replying to @kylestuffin
why are you putting my Queen Bee down, she’s bound for generational success!!!!!
Kyle @kylestuffin
replying to @cherhill006
wrong
we out here in the trenches @alsjhdkj
replying to @kylestuffin
holy misogyny in the big millennium, cant wait for u to get eaten by harley’s hyenas
Number 1 HONEY fan @brucewayneisbatman225
100% deserved, don’t even know how her album did that well cuz we all know the music industry sucks but good for her.
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r/Music
Actual opinions on HONEY’s debut album, “First One Out of The Trenches”? No way it’s actually that good lol.
Posted by disdabom 17 hrs ago
Replies:
rayofsun71 3 hours ago
tell me OP didn’t listen to the album without telling me OP didn’t listen to the album lol
(19 upvotes)
mitskilvr 9 hours ago
There is some insane production in the album, which HONEY talks more about in her most recent interview with INQUIRE (linked here). Her vocals are also insane! They somehow tickle every part of my brain.
(342 upvotes)
lotrwhimsy 16 hours ago
8/10 imo. Definitely more oriented towards pop-loving audiences, but I found myself grooving despite that (I’m more of a alt-rock guy myself). Lyrics are pretty decent, especially considering this is her debut. If you haven’t already, look into the people that produced the album! And also major kudos to Honey for her vocal quality. It’s rare that a debut album escapes the music industry with its soul still attached.
(407 upvotes)
View 302 more replies
She spends a month traveling the world on a press tour (a part of her is enamored by the glitz and glam she now lives in, the other is repulsed), visiting Asia, East Africa, and even Western Europe. Through it all, she ferries questions about the production of her album (“Gemma is a miracle worker!”), her inspiration (“Gotham feels like a battleground sometimes.”) and, in an almost-cut interview:
“Some say that your album is a satirical take on the vigilante scene in Gotham— notably the child-exploitation within crime-fighting circles being likened to war. In what ways has your background as a former resident of the Bowery inspired the trajectory of your music career?”
Honey slowly turns her head to face her publicist, who has taken to hiding behind both his clipboard and the cameraman and has begun inching towards the studio exit. Heaving a sigh, she turns back to her interviewer and opens her mouth to respond, knowing nothing good can come of this.
Rising Gotham Star HONEY Declares Batman’s Child Vigilantes Unethical!
How Gothamite is HONEY, Really?
“I owe them my life” –- HONEY Speaks On Gotham Vigilantes Following Airport Rescue
Honey’s first thought when she lands back in Gotham is that Dr. Pamela Isley is fucking gorgeous. Even through the plane window, her skin is this delightful shade of green, and her vibrant crimson locks trail tantalizingly down the column of her spine. Even the way she commands the plants that have taken to shaking the jet Honey arrived in up-and-down is mesmerizing.
Honey supposes she should consider herself lucky—at least Dr. Isley had been considerate enough to tie her to her seat using her plant spawn while the plane shook back and forth. Despite the relative safety, Honey is relieved that the plane stops shaking once the local vigilantes show up, and she thinks she might be able to attempt escape.
Her eyes shift forest green as she turns her head to the plants that are holding her down. “Darling, would you be a doll and loosen up a bit? It’s getting hard to breathe.” In a moment of stunning obedience, the verdant coil of vine slowly loosens its grip on her.
Thank fuck. Those vines were fucking tight. She thinks, as she falls forward, barely catching herself on the carpeted floor of the cabin.
Before she moves to stand, she makes sure that she has everything she’ll need for the foreseeable future. Phone? Check. Keys? Weirdly, check. Wallet? Check. Hair tie? Fuck, it must’ve fallen out while the damn plane was shaking. Whatever, she’ll deal with it later.
Stumbling towards the exit of the cabin, Honey makes it three steps before a vine curls around her ankle and she’s suddenly being dragged at high velocity down the dusty carpet, out of the plane, and into the real world. At least she’s not being hung upside down, but well. Her public persona will likely come crumbling down if she starts swearing, and she’s not wearing anything with a modicum of class right now.
And then she’s suddenly dangling in front of Mother Nature’s daughter, arms bound to her sides, and she stops thinking. DANGER DANGER her brain screams, before short-circuiting and dying a gruesome death.
“You might be gorgeous, but I’m not into rope play,” she blurts, and then mentally smacks herself.
Ivy’s red lips twitch.
Deciding to commit to insanity, Honey continues, “Not that I wouldn’t have done this if you’d asked, you know, I’m partial to experimentation on occa—”
“Ivy,” a voice demands, and is that Red Robin? Wielding a bo staff? How is that going to help-- “Let her go!”
Right. Hostage situation.
“I’m alright darling! Just wish she’d asked before tying me up!” She winks at the new arrival, in full Old-Hollywood, public persona style, before getting violently shaken by the vines holding her. Though stunning she may be, Ivy is clearly no one’s bitch.
“Shut up, you rich people always have something to say,” Ivy snarls as Honey jolts to a sudden stop. “Do you ever think about anything other than yourself? Celebrity emissions are at an all-time high!”
Honey scoffs, façade dropping, “First, this is a rental jet, think about what my insurance company will say when this hits the news. Second, I’ve been a celebrity for like, a month, man! I’m literally making a loss right now.”
Ivy’s discontent is interrupted by Red Robin (somehow?) lobbing a container in her face, promptly exploding and covering her in fine sediment. Honey suddenly has a very bad feeling about being suspended in midair by only Ivy’s plants.
And that bad feeling seems to be correct, because only a few seconds later the plants holding her in the air begin to retreat. “Hey, watch the goods—HOLY FUCK!” She shrieks as she begins to free-fall.
This is some bullshit, she thinks as Red Robin grapples to catch her. How the fuck does this even happen. What the fuck did that grapple even catch on. God, I hope Ivy is okay. She’s hot as fuck (respectfully). Hot women deserve to do crime.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” Aw, look at that. Baby vigilante speaks to woman for the first time.
“Oh I’m perfectly alright, love,” Honey coos, reaching out to pat Red Robin’s face. She’s at least three inches taller than him, making him, what—5’6, 5’7? What a cutie. “You’re adorable. Thank you for saving me.”
Red Robin flushes slightly. “You’re welcome. Let’s get you to the ambulance.” He guides Honey to the nearby ambulance, which has miraculously spawned on the airport runway.
“You’re so sweet. I appreciate it, hun.” She pats him on the cheek as the paramedics begin fussing over her. Then, she shoos him away. “Off you go now. Buh-bye.” She watches him hesitantly grapple away (again, where is that grapple fucking landing), and wonders why she doesn’t feel even remotely shaken about what just happened to her.
When Honey finally makes it back to her apartment, her manager, Jonathan, is waiting for her.
“Jesus, Honey, you look like you’ve been run through.” Jonathan wrinkles his nose, as Honey shoves off her shoes and moves to the kitchen, leaving her luggage by the door. Jonathan trails her.
“First, don’t insult the working girls. Second, I resent that that could’ve happened with Dr. Isley. How dare you throw that in my face.” She picks up the coffee jug from the machine, peers inside, then disgruntledly shoves it back into the machine and hits brew.
Jonathan rolls his eyes. “Seriously. We all know Ivy is hot. She’s my favorite terrorist of all time. But her attacks are not for the weak. Are you okay? Did they check you for a concussion? You have a live gig in two weeks you have to continue choreography for. God, your standard for food appalls me.” He adds, disgusted, as Honey opens the fridge and sniffs the milk that hasn’t been touched since she left for the tour.
Despite his complaints, Honey pours herself some milk into a glass taken from the cabinet next to the fridge. “Listen, it hasn’t gone sour, and I forgot to ask Clara to clean out the fridge while I was gone. She isn’t scheduled to work until day after tomorrow, but I’ll ask her to get groceries when she does. Also, who’s your second favorite terrorist, then, since you’ve clearly thought long and hard about this.”
Ignoring her quip, Jonathan shifts towards business. “Speaking of being scheduled to work, you have a meeting with the big boss about album sales tomorrow at ten. I can ask to reschedule, given the circumstances, but they’ll be on your ass until you agree.”
“I can do ten. I’m honestly fine,” she adds, as Jonathan opens his mouth to protest. Though he looks frustrated, when she pours her coffee into the cup of milk and then downs half of it in one go, he heaves a sigh and gives up. Small mercies, she supposes.
The thing is, she thinks to herself once Jonathan has left her for the evening, is that she really does feel fine. It’s not like she was actually in mortal peril, what with the vigilante’s promptly being on scene, and anyways she would’ve been fine… right?
It’s not like this world is real. Pfft.
(Though deep within the crevices of her mind, she knows something is wrong. And the cracks have only begun to show.)