Chapter Text
Loud music. Noise. Dimmed lights. Disco ball. Smoke. People making out.
The usual sight you will see at the club.
Ryul walked in so casually, like he didn’t avoid this place for months.
Whenever he’s having the urge to drink he will just drink in his own dorm, invite his college friends. He deliberately escaped places that there’s going to be a hundred percent chance that there will be him.
Ryul wanted to laugh at himself because look at him, willingly went to where Woojin is, he really just can’t help it. He’s too weak.
This could be the last time, who knows?
He just really can’t fathom Woojin being with other people, like being happy without him. He didn’t know how he handled two months without talking to him but still constantly corrupting his mind.
Because all he could think of is him. Thinking a lot of things like what did he have for lunch? Dinner? Did he have some of his favorite snacks? Is he partying all night?
He really tried so hard not to see him, but Woojin already had him smitten.
Ryul keeps on wandering around the club but the person he’s looking for cannot be seen, he thought the man is causing a ruckus?
After walking around on the ground for a while, he went to the bathroom to check and thought if he’s still not there he’ll check the second floor of the club.
Before he could even make his way to the bathroom he felt someone patted him on his shoulder.
He turned around and was greeted by a bottle of beer right to his face.
Ryul pushes aside the bottle to see the man holding it.
“Hey, Ryul! Long time,” Ohyul said, all smiley, then gently passed the bottle to Ryul.
“Yeah, long time,” Ryul agreed, then gladly took the bottle and raised it.
He smiled back at him.
Ohyul and Ryul met like two years ago from a freshman orientation at their university, they don’t even have the same major but somehow ended up being close because some of his blockmates are friends with Ohyul, so they just dragged him with them during the orientation.
They’re friends, not too close but not distant either, they see each other occasionally.
“How have you been? It’s been like what?” Ohyul tilted his head like he’s thinking, “like a month, since we saw each other at Jasper’s house.”
Ryul drank his beer.
“Yeah, at Jas’s birthday, how’s nursing treating you?”
Ohyul chuckled, “You certainly wouldn’t find me here if it isn’t fucking me up real bad,” Ohyul, noticed Ryul’s eyes is wandering around, “looking for someone?”
Ryul, stopped looking and focused his sight on Ohyul, who’s now giving him a suspicious look.
He can’t help but laugh.
Ohyul got the answer right away.
“Oh my god, I’m right?”
Ryul just nodded.
Ohyul on the other hand recklessly put his hands over Ryul’s shoulder.
“Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Go,” he just chuckled and carelessly ruffled Ryul’s hair. The touch meant something to Ohyul but he is sure Ryul won’t catch it, the man is obviously here for someone who captivated him already.
However, someone who’s coming down from the second floor catched what Ryul doesn’t seem to catched quickly.
Seeing someone you like with somebody else looking happy is really not a good view to look at.
It surely made Woojin feel something he hasn't felt in a very long time, he can’t name it, but he’s sure it wasn’t a good feeling.
Woojin was feeling crazy earlier, he’s drunk as fuck but now seeing a scene he surely disliked make him a bit sober and much more crazier.
What the fuck are they laughing at? What’s so funny that he needs to put his arms around Ryul? Why the fuck is he so comfortable messing with Ryul’s hair like that, and why does Ryul allows him to do so?
He hasn’t seen the man for two months, he didn’t even know why. Ryul just started to ignore his calls two months ago, he thought it was weird but he didn’t think about it that much since Ryul is a sophomore while he’s a freshman, he just thought maybe he’s that busy.
He didn’t even know why he keeps on calling only him, maybe because he’s his one call away? Ryul always listens to him, whatever he likes, and if he’s being honest— he would say Ryul is like a dog following everything he says.
He’s not even the only one, but when Ryul started to ignore him— every call, every text, and blatantly trying to avoid him at the university. It made him overthink, like what went wrong?
They didn’t even have a fight or something.
He did not even know why, but ever since Ryul’s attention wasn’t on him he tried to pretend it didn’t matter, like? He’s just one of the dogs that wanted him so bad and that man will just once again be in his fingers to play with, how wrong he was as he’s seeing him all clingy with another man right now.
He’s so irritated that he rolls his eyes, as he is about to reach the end of the staircase he bumps into someone.
“What the—,” he badly wanted to curse when he felt a liquid soaked his designer clothes. He’s quite sure the liquid that is now covering his body smells like beer.
Fuck! He mentally cursed.
“I’m sorry, Woojin! I didn’t see you,” the man who bumped into him said frantically that in drawing in such unwanted attention, people started to huddled together whispering any gossip they could think of out of what I look like right now.
Woojin took a quick look at the man who bumped into him, he said his name but he didn’t know him at all. I mean he’s decently looking, that
As the other man panics, Woojin tries to find his handkerchief to help a little with how wet his light cotton shirt is right now that kinda made his whole upper body visible, which made people around them talk more.
Gosh, I know the body is tea. Can these people act like I am here and can actually hear them? Woojin couldn’t help but roll his eyes again.
Since he can’t feel his handkerchief in any of his jeans pockets he started to walk but before he could even the man who spilled a beer on him held him back and started to wipe him, he acted fast to get his hands off of his body.
“It’s okay, no need. I’ll just wash up in the bathroom, no worries,” Woojin still politely declined the gesture. The man who knows him but he can’t even recognize backed off but held his wrist tightly.
“I’ll come with you, it’s my fault.”
Woojin tried to loosen the man’s grip but hell this guy is taller and definitely much stronger than him.
“Man, I swear we’re good, I can manage this myself,” Woojin said while clearly struggling because he’s still kind of dizzy but still trying to lose this man’s hold on him.
On the other side of the club, Ohyul and Ryul heard the ruckus that’s happening.
Ryul and Ohyul bid their farewell as Ohyul started to get distracted as someone approached him and asked him to dance so he left Ryul, alone.
It wasn’t an issue, Ryul was about to ignore the noise coming on the side to continue looking for Woojin but when the noisy group of people on the other side started to step aside and it spat out the man he's been searching for a couple of minutes already.
The thing is he wasn’t alone, some ugly man was dragging him, Woojin was clearly unwilling, the latter looked like a mess like someone bathed him. He didn’t even think and ran towards Woojin immediately and held his wrist, he even heard Woojin say he’s good.
“Man, he said he can manage hisself, fuck off,” Ryul calmly said to the guy, but obviously just trying to not start acting batshit crazy, “hands off, now.”
Woojin on the other hand cannot even say anything— more like he’s choosing not to say shit because he’s enjoying this.
He still cares about me.
Woojin is geeking himself, while Ryul is on the verge of fighting everyone breathing the same air as them.
The unknown ugly man loosen his hold, but still not fully fucking off.
Ryul clearly was not known to have patience, he yanked that man's hands off of Woojin and pushed the man’s shoulder.
“Slow and retarted,” Ryul murmured while taking off his red jacket and put it on Woojin, “let’s go, wash yourself a bit,” he whispered on Woojin.
When they reached the bathroom someone was there washing their hands, Woojin immediately went to the sink and washed himself.
Ryul stared at him, he didn’t want to, but he couldn't help himself.
So fucking helpless.
When they’re both left alone, the bathroom suddenly felt so big, no one was saying anything. Only the water flowing from the faucet is what they were hearing.
Woojin got a pile of tissue to dry himself up, that’s when he decided to break the silence.
“I miss you.”
“Don’t bullshit me, if you’re done, I’m taking you home.”
It was hard for Ryul to not get carried away by those three words coming from Woojin’s mouth which he probably didn’t even mean.
Ryul was leaning on one of the cubicle posts, while Woojin was looking at him in the mirror, Ryul was being so cold to him right now, but can’t help but admire him looking so dashing in his simple black t-shirt, perfectly fitting his wide shoulders that made his chest pop out.
What a feast. Woojin thought.
Woojin turned around and walked towards Ryul, “You’ve been ignoring and avoiding me for two months, why?”, he didn’t know what it sounded like, was it whiny? Or longing? Woojin could careless, he just wanted an answer from Ryul.
Ryul certainly didn’t expect Woojin to open this topic first, he thought he didn’t care or wouldn’t even notice his absence.
“It’s not like me ignoring you would be a big problem, right? You have plenty of other people to call,” he answered bitterly, while looking straight into Woojin’s eye.
“But you’re the one, I’m calling.”
“You don’t understand at all, do you? Can’t you tell that I’m done? That I certainly don’t want to do it anymore—”
“Do what?” Woojin cut him off, and stepped a little closer.
“Every fucking thing that doesn’t mean anything to you,” Ryul finished, his voice dropping, rough—like each word scraped on the way out.
The silence that followed felt heavier than before.
Woojin didn’t move at first. Then—
“Hyung.”
Ryul froze.
Out of everything Woojin could’ve said, that was the one thing that made something in his chest twist the most. He hadn’t called him that in a long time—not like this. Not when things were… whatever this used to be.
“Don’t,” Ryul said quickly, almost too quickly. “Don’t call me that.”
But Woojin stepped closer instead.
“Hyung, just listen—”
“I said don’t.” This time, sharper.
Ryul looked away, jaw clenched so tight it hurt. He could feel it—how easy it would be to give in if he stayed like this any longer.
“You think I don’t get it?” Ryul continued, quieter now, but worse. “You call when you’re bored. When no one else is around. And I—” he let out a short, bitter laugh, “—I used to come running every time.”
Woojin’s expression shifted, but Ryul didn’t stop.
“I waited,” he admitted, the words almost slipping out against his will. “Every time you disappeared, I waited for you to come back like nothing happened.”
His grip tightened on the edge of the cubicle.
“But I’m not doing that anymore.”
That landed.
You could hear it in the way the room went still.
Woojin finally spoke, slower this time. “You think that’s all this is?”
Ryul scoffed, but it sounded weaker than he wanted. “What else is it supposed to be?”
Woojin didn’t answer right away. He just looked at him—too steady, too serious for someone who was supposed to “not mean anything.”
That look alone was enough to make Ryul uneasy.
“Then why you?” Woojin asked quietly.
Ryul frowned. “What?”
“If it’s really nothing,” Woojin continued, taking another step closer, “then why is it always you I end up calling?”
Ryul’s chest tightened—annoyingly, frustratingly.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” he shot back, though his voice wavered just slightly. “It just means I’m available.”
“But you’re not,” Woojin said immediately.
That made Ryul pause.
“You haven’t been,” Woojin added, softer now. “For two months.”
And somehow, that sounded like a complaint.
Like something was missing.
Ryul hated how that made him feel.
“Good,” he said, forcing his voice steady again. “Then you should’ve gotten used to it by now.”
Woojin let out a quiet breath, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated—but not in the way Ryul expected.
“You really don’t see it,” he muttered.
“See what?” Ryul snapped.
Another pause.
Another moment where Woojin looked like he was deciding how much to say—and how much to keep to himself.
“…that it’s not just you,” he said finally, careful, almost restrained. “Whatever you think you’re feeling—it’s not just on your side.”
Ryul went still.
Because that wasn’t clear enough to hold onto.
But it wasn’t vague enough to ignore either.
“Don’t say things like that,” Ryul said, voice low, almost shaking now—not from weakness, but from holding too much in. “You don’t get to say things like that when you’re the reason I had to walk away in the first place.”
Woojin didn’t deny it.
That was the worst part.
Instead, he stepped closer—close enough now that Ryul could feel it, that presence he spent two months trying to forget.
“Then why does it feel like you didn’t want to?” Woojin asked quietly.
Ryul’s breath caught.
Just for a second.
And he hated that Woojin noticed.
“…I did,” Ryul said, but it didn’t sound convincing anymore.
Woojin didn’t push further.
Didn’t smile.
Didn’t tease.
He just looked at him—like he was trying to understand something he should’ve figured out a long time ago.
“Hyung,” he said again, softer this time.
And Ryul felt it all over again.
That word.
That distance.
That closeness.
Everything at once.
The faucet kept running, filling the silence neither of them could fix.
And somehow, even now— nothing between them felt finished.
The faucet kept running.
“Hyung,” Woojin said again—softer this time.
Ryul exhaled sharply, like he’d had enough.
“Just… stop talking,” he muttered, already turning away. If he stayed any longer, he knew exactly what would happen—and he refused to be that person again.
So he walked.
One step. Then another.
The bathroom suddenly felt too big, too loud, too suffocating all at once. His footsteps echoed, each one heavier than the last.
Just keep walking.
That’s what he told himself.
This is what you wanted.
Distance. Silence. An end to whatever this was.
But his chest felt tight—too tight. Like something was clawing its way up, refusing to be ignored.
He reached the door.
His hand hovered over the handle.
“…shit.”
It came out under his breath, strained.
Because even now, even after everything— Woojin’s voice, that “Hyung”, the way he looked at him like there was something more—something Ryul had spent two months trying to erase—It was still there.
And it was driving him insane.
Ryul clenched his jaw, frustration snapping through him all at once.
“Fuck this shit…”
He turned.
Not slowly. Not carefully.
He just moved.
Footsteps were quick, uneven, almost angry as he walked straight back—no hesitation this time, no pretending he didn’t care.
Woojin barely had time to react.
“Hey—”
Ryul grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him by his small waist, as he cupped Woojin’s jaw and crouched for a kiss.
Woojin’s words turned into muffles when their lips met.
The kiss wasn’t gentle.
It wasn’t soft.
It was messy, desperate—like everything Ryul refused to say just broke out all at once. Frustration, anger, confusion—want—all tangled together in something that didn’t make sense anymore.
Woojin pushed him away, he’s all red while Ryul was still trying to catch his breath, he wanted more.
Ryul felt his heart drop when Woojin started to walk towards the door. Is that it? Was he rejected? He went back to his rational self, he really can’t push what he wanted to happen between them.
He got his answer.
It’s not Woojin’s fault if all he can give is just a fraction of his affection.
Ryul felt his heart broken for the second time. He doesn’t even know if he’s regretting that he just recklessly attacked the poor boy’s lips or it was really my problem thinking it’s okay, that it’s possible.
A subtle click echoed from the door. Ryul immediately lifted up his face to see what the boy did but before he could even do it, he quickly pulled Ryul’s shirt, and crashed his lips onto him.
“I don’t like being left hanging, so if you’re going to kiss me make sure no one is going to bother us,” he whispered and kissed Ryul deeply.
He just fucking locked the door.
Ryul didn’t even wait and kissed him back, he didn’t stop, he actually can’t help it, he can taste the alcohol on his mouth that made him even more drunk by the kiss.
He smoothly snaked his arms around Woojin’s tiny waist, while pushing him towards the wall.
Woojin on the other hand placed his pretty little hands on Ryul's broad shoulder to deepen the kiss.
Ryul moaned in between their kisses.
They’re both not backing down with it, Woojin hands coming from Ryul’s shoulder to Ryul’s head caressing his hair.
Ryul's right hand found the hem of the other boy's shirt and started to smoothly travel his hands to his smooth stomach, tickling Woojin that made Woojin hummed.
“Hyung…”
“What?” Ryul answered and bit Woojin’s bottom lip, “want more, hmm?”
Woojin was catching his breath, they’re still skin to skin unable to pull away to one another.
“You’re crazy,” Woojin whispered.
“You’re driving me crazy,” Ryul gave Woojin a quick smooch in his now swollen lips.
Woojin just scoffed then rested his head on Ryul's chest.
He could hear Ryul’s heartbeat. It was really fast, it made him think of what this man went through because of his indecisive ass.
I made him suffer.
They stayed in that position for a while, the only thing they’re hearing is the muffled music from outside.
Ryul started to caress Woojin’s long blonde hair.
“I like you so much that I don’t know what to do,” he confessed, still caressing his hair, “I can’t think at all, I wanted you out of my system because you’re not good for me at all.”
Woojin can’t even deny that, he himself is aware that he’s too playful and indecisive for this man.
Woojin hugged Ryul tighter and raised his head.
“I’m sorry, I thought keeping things casual meant no one would get hurt,” Woojin paused and started tracing Ryul’s face using his left hand while his right hand was still hugging Ryul, “but I didn’t think about what it feels like on the other side… I didn’t think of you.”
He finally let go of Ryul from his embrace and put some space between them.
“Isn’t that crazy to think? I still like you a lot despite getting hurt constantly by you? I’m so crazy that all I think of is you, you completely took over me,” he replied bitterly.
“I was so scared of you, I thought one day you’re going to stop calling me, so before you can do that, I stopped picking up.”
Ryul was about to move closer for another kiss but he was interrupted by a knock.
“Why the fuck is this locked?”
Woojin chuckled and gave him a peck, “Open it now.”
Ryul opened the door fast while Woojin put out his lip balm from his pocket and put some on his poor lips devoured by someone.
“Let’s go,” Woojin demanded and they dipped out from that club immediately.
The night air was cool, brushing softly against their skin as they walked side by side, the grass whispering under their steps.
Both of them didn’t know where to go so they just walked until they reached a park. They chose the best part of the park where they could see the moon’s view clearly. They sit on the grass appreciating the sky.
The silence was comforting both of them, however Ryul got distracted seeing Woojin’s hands, he’s tempted.
I want to hold his hands.
So he slowly reached but before he could do that Woojin caught his sneaky hand and intertwined their hands.
Woojin chuckled, “Why are you going for it slowly?”
Seeing Woojin smile up close is incomparable, for Ryul it’s something he wanted to see everyday.
“You’re frustratingly beautiful, do you know that?” he ranted, “everyone wants you and it’s killing me.”
“Hyung, you’re so humble. Everyone wants you too, you’re just too dense to—” Ryul cut him off.
“Or maybe I just don’t give a fuck about them because I have my eyes on you,” they made an eye-contact and smile at each other.
Woojin rested his head on Ryul’s shoulder.
“Let’s start over, let’s do this the right way.”
Ryul squeezed Woojin’s hands before answering.
“If we start over, that's going to take a lot of time, can we just start where we’re boyfriends already?”