Chapter Text
It was hard to avoid the signs when they were all pointing in the same direction. Still Reo took some time to wallow in her own room. Her phone was blowing up for a while, but it came to a stop eventually. They had a game tomorrow and she skipped their last practice. That would normally be shitty enough. Since she was the captain, it was an extra nasty move.
Realistically, they were going to win either way. Nagi had only gotten better after she started practicing with Isagi, and even before that they were constantly winning games. Reo did not care about all of her whiny teammates, most of whom were useless in the game anyway. Only the private text from Nagi made her feel guilty.
She could imagine Nagi blaming herself for this. And while all of this was happening because of her, it was still not her fault. Reo typed in a few messages, but ended up deleting them. There was only one thing to say.
One thing that Reo really did not want to say.
***
Nagi really had fucked up life lately. She made Reo sad. In fact, sad enough to skip football practice before a game. With Reo's reaction to the break up of their fake relationship, it was extremely simple to put two and two together.
Venting to Choki wasn't enough. Unfortunately, Isagi finished early today with her football routine to have a family evening with her parents. It seemed like a strange concept to Nagi. Who would care enough to just sit in a room of two old, boring people after all? Still, she wasn't going to interrupt something that seemed important to Isagi.
She pulled out her phone and called Bachira's number. Nagi had played with the strange girl a few times already, and they were well on their way to become good friends, despite never meeting without Isagi and a football.
"Hey," Nagi said as soon as Bachira picked up.
"Hi, Nagi!" the other girl exclaimed, "my monster had a feeling I would see you today."
"Really?"
"Yup! Anyways, what did you want to talk about?" a chirpy giggle rang through the line. "Did you miss me?"
After a moment of pondering, Nagi answered: "I guess I did."
"Aww, that's so sweet! Do you want to come to an art gallery with me?"
She blinked: "Art gallery?"
"Yes! My mom is an artist, and she is currently having an art gallery nearby. I've already seen all the works at home, but I kind of want to look at them again. Do you want to join me?"
And that's how Nagi ended u at an art gallery. It was located in a small art center on the very top floor, the climb to which was long and uncomfortable due to the poor condition of the stairs.
It was worth it in the end. As soon as they entered the room, Bachira's face lit up and she rushed around to point out her favorite pieces to Nagi. Some of the artworks were really abstract, which only confused Nagi, but Bachira seemed to really like them.
"This one is my favorite!" she pointed to a canvas of what seemed to be a dozen of different shapes in dark indigo and blue.
"Those are squares," Nagi stated.
Bachira laughed out loud as if she had just heard a very funny joke. "I guess they are, but art is always about perspective, is it not? What feelings do the squares make you feel?"
"…math?"
"Math isn't a feeling," she giggled. "Don't think of them as squares, but as concepts. If the shape doesn't make you feel anything, maybe the colors do. Or the way they are positioned."
Nagi gazed into the painting. After staring at it and trying to summon feelings for a while, she took notice of a small, purple square. She pointed to it: "I like that one. She reminds me of Reo. The shade is just like her hair."
"You like Reo, right?" Bachira asked. Her tone was sure, but not accusing.
"I'm in love with Reo," she stated, as if it was the most simple fact in the world instead of the most complicated one.
"That's kind of a sad painting to assign to those feelings then. All of the colors are so dark and gloomy," her gaze drifted away from the painting and fell to the floor, "I've never been in love, but it's supposed to be a happy feeling, right?"
Nagi pondered for a bit: "I like being in love with Reo. It gives my life meaning in some way. I don't know if I can keep putting up with the idea of her never loving me back, however. I thought I would be fine with it, but I'm really not. I don't know how to get over it."
All of a sudden the painting of the squares seemed much more important than before. Nagi's feelings doubled by looking at it, as if it had soaked up all of her emotion and was now reflecting it back at her.
"A lot of people feel like that," Bachira said with a pat on Nagi's back. "I'm not quite equipped to give you advice on this, but, generally, I've found that making art has always helped me with not keeping my emotions to myself. Maybe you should draw some squares yourself when you are home."
That didn't seem like too bad of an idea. Nagi had already managed to become emotionally attached to these specific squares though. She sighed: "I wish I could buy this painting."
Bachira shrugged: "Well, I can try to talk my mom into giving you a discount."
Nagi blinked at her: "Huh? The paintings at art galleries can be bought?"
"Yes? Did you not know?"
Nagi pointed at the painting with excitement buzzing off of her: "Can you call your mom? I will buy this painting!"
Before Bachira could answer, Nagi's phone buzzed in her pocket. Strange. No one ever bothered to try and talk to her.
She fished her phone out to find a text from Reo.
Nagi took out a wad of cash from her wallet and pressed it in Nagi's hands. "I need to go right now. Please, ask your mom if this is enough for the painting. I can pick it up another time."
Bachira stared dumbstruck at the money in her hands: "I'm pretty sure this is way too much!"
"I don't care. It's fine. Your mom deserves it. The squares are really cool!" she yelled as she ran out of the room. "Goodbye!"
***
Reo felt awkward standing in Nagi's backyard in such a fancy dress. Ba-Ya had bought her here in the limo, but on the girls request left her alone. Reo had not missed the worried glint in the servant's eyes.
The gate was locked and all the windows were dark, meaning Nagi wasn't home yet after all. It was just Reo, alone with her nerves. The sun had barely begun to set, coloring the horizon the shade of cotton candy. Together with the fluffy, white clouds it looked fairytale like. Reo would like it more if she weren't so distracted.
The idea that Nagi was going to reject her was plaguing her mind. This whole confession was overblown. She had done her hair in a nice way and put on the white gown Nagi had picked out for her a while back. It was a really pretty dress, and Reo would hate to ruin it with the memory of her heart being broken into a million pieces.
She sat down on the porch. Her feet were hurting as she had worn heels to go with the dress. The white material would no doubt get dirty, but Reo had enough other worries to keep her mind off of that small detail.
Soon enough a taxi pulled up next to the house. Nagi climbed out from the back seat in plain jeans and a hoodie. Her eyes widened as she noticed the other girl.
"Reo," she said with wonder in her eyes.
As Nagi came closer, Reo got back up on her feet and straightened out the folds of her dress, while Nagi looked her over with an unreadable expression.
"I'm so sorry," Reo started, "I've fucked up really bad, I know. I should never have asked you to pretend to date me, or asked you to kiss me while we were dancing or gotten to mad at you this morning. I've only recently come to realize that I'm a very selfish person. So selfish, that I want you all to myself."
Nagi stood there with her mouth agape. She blinked once, then twice. It was either a state of shock or a state of confusion.
I will have to say it out loud, Reo realized. As if just thinking it wasn't enough. As if implying it wasn't enough.
She wrapped her body in her arms, suddenly feeling naked and vulnerable. Coming here was a dumb idea. Wearing the expensive dress was a dumb idea too. Maybe she should have given up for once in her life, accepted the loss and moved on to something else.
"I mean it when I say you are my treasure or my soulmate. And even if this all started as pretending, I think it became real for me somewhere along the way. Or maybe it always was. I'm so sorry, but I love you."
A breath hitched in her throat and Reo was afraid she was going to cry and make herself seem even more pathetic. Nagi stepped forward and took her hand into her palms.
"Don't be sorry," she said with an unfair calmness in her voice, "are you cold? We should go inside."
Reo stepped aside to let Nagi unlock the door. The sun had begun to set and the sky had started coloring a deep shade of violet with many dark gray clouds layering over it. It was getting cooler with the winter approaching slowly but surely. Small goosebumps layered themselves over her exposed shoulders. When they get inside, maybe it would be smart to ask Nagi for a change of clothes. It would also serve to make her feel less stupid.
They left their shoes by the door. Reo quickly moved herself to the living room. A warm blanked rested on the couch and she made sure to wrap herself inside it, hiding away from the world at large.
"Do you want tea?" Nagi asked.
She blinked up at her friend: "You make tea?"
"Not usually. I still know how to."
Reo bit into her lip before answering: "Tea would be nice."
The other girl disappeared for a few minutes, leaving Reo alone with her thoughts. They resembled something akin to a spiral. She could not refrain from berating herself for her own stupidity and naivety. Of course Nagi didn't like her back. She barely tolerated her after all - seemingly she was still willing to do so too, which was good. Great even. Reo was willing to hold on to Nagi, even if she tried to shake her off and let her drift away. The time without Nagi in her life might as well not exist with how bland and faded it seemed.
Nagi returned with two cups of tea. She set them down with a clank and curled up on the other end of the couch. Distraction wasn't the right word for what she seemed to be experiencing. If Reo had to make a comparison, she looked right as she did when she was invested in a game - hyper focused in all of her actions and determined not to make a wrong move.
Reo brought the cup up to her lips. The scalding temperature of the drink felt strangely grounding.
"I'm so sorry for bothering you," she managed to mutter, breaking the tense silence.
"Don't be," the other girl answered, not touching her own tea, "you're never a bother, Reo. Besides, making tea is very easy."
"I'm not talking about the tea."
Nagi hummed as she brought her knees up to her chest and draped her arms around them. "I guess it's kind of a bother that we wasted that much time, but I don't hold it against you. I should've been clearer about my intentions too."
Wasted time. Seems like Nagi wouldn't want to see her after this in the end, huh? Who could blame her, honestly? Reo was strange and very intense about her. The revelation of romantic feelings put their every interaction in a different light.
"I guess we did waste a lot of time, huh?"
"Yes," she reached for her cup at last. Reo had never seen her drink tea before. "We should make up for it."
A thousand different emotions ran through Reo's head. "Make up for it? How so?"
The sip she took of her tea felt disproportionately long. The sound of the fridge buzzing made Reo anxious. She did not wish to loose the spark of hope that was ignited in her heart.
"Let's elope."
Reo's fingers turned into noodles and she lost her grip on the teacup. Burning hot liquid splashed all over her torso, wicking through the blanket and then the fabric of her dress. She let out a loud screech.
***
Sitting in an icy bath with a gown, Reo felt even more self-conscious than before. This whole situation was stupid to begin with, but now the wet fabric was early see through. The skirt of the dress had ripped as well, as panic ensued with the burn. Nagi had tried to help by removing the burning hot layer of clothing off of her at the same time as Reo tried to bolt to get cold water. In result, Nagi had stepped on her skirt mid-step, leaving it with sizable damage.
"I'm really sorry," Nagi said. Her friend was crouching down on next to the bath, looking at her with large, sad eyes of a kicked puppy.
"I will be okay," Reo said, running a hand through her friend's messy hair. It grew so fast. She would have to trim it again in just a few weeks, she could tell.
The sound of running water drowned out the silence, yet the awkwardness remained. Reo berated herself- this was supposed to be a romantic occasion, yet her outfit was ruined and they were talking in a bathroom. It didn't feel as pathetic as it sounded. What Nagi had told her prior in the living room still rung in her mind.
"Did you mean it?" she muttered. Nagi's gaze found her quickly, the irises of her eyes widening slightly.
"That I'm sorry? Of course."
A nervous laugh bubbled out of her mouth. It was not helping the atmosphere.
"That's not what I meant. I… did you really propose to me?"
Nagi cast down her eyes, suddenly very interested in the tiles of the bathroom floor. Reo, however, didn't let the other girl's face escape her gaze, noting down every change in her demeanor.
"I guess."
"You guess?"
She looked like she would run away at any moment, despite this being her own house. Nagi's posture stiffened as she brought up a hand to hide half of her face in. "Just never mind that, okay? I wasn't thinking straight."
"Let's get eloped," Reo said.
Nagi's eyes widened noticeably. She just laughed.
***
"Ugh, what? This is so unfair!" Reo whined as she stared at the computer screen, "the age of marriage has been changed from 16 to 18. This is so stupid."
Nagi's eyes were rageful: "We can bribe the marriage marriage officiant."
"Yeah, I don't think that will work."
Reo fell back in the soft leather fabric of the chair. Due to the incident with tea, she had to remove her white gown. Nagi was happy to lend her a hoodie and some sweatpants. She even offered her the football jersey, but Reo pointed out that, despite everything, they still had a game tomorrow and it would be smarter to keep it clean.
"I guess we just have to wait until we can get married."
A pout formed on Nagi's face. Reo shared the sentiment.
"I really want to marry you right now though," the other girl wrapped her hands around Reo's neck from the back, fully embracing the chair.
"I promise to throw you a very flashy, expensive wedding as soon as we are old enough," she sighed.
Nagi hummed, her hold around Reo's torso tightening: "I want to do something right now though. Something romantic, so we can remember it forever."
A giggle escaped over Reo's lips: "I think I ruined the pretense of romance when I poured tea all over myself and my dress."
"I prefer you in my clothes."
Reo leaned back, raising her chin to see Nagi's face at least partially. The other was staring right down at her with the same intensity that hadn't left her face since the confession.
"Possessive, aren't you?" she teased, raising her hand to run her fingers across Nagi's cheek.
"It's not like you mind," Nagi retorted. She grabbed at the back of the chair to spin it around. Reo leaned back, now property face to face with the other girl. There was no way she wasn't flushed bright red from head to toe.
"Do you?" Nagi asked, her gaze heavy on Reo's lips. It didn't sound like a real question, more so as a prompt for Reo to speak.
"Of course not." She stared right into Nagi's eyes, despite some inner shame urging her to look away. For a change, she didn't listen. "Kiss me?"
Nagi didn't need to be told twice. The kiss was hungry and desperate, and everything Reo had been waiting for all this time. Her hands quickly sunk into white, tangled hair and grabbed on to it. Nagi held on to her shoulders. One of her knees now rested next to Reo's tight as she had half climbed into the other girl's lap. The chair tilted backwards, snapping them back into reality.
"The chair is a horrible place for this," Reo stated in between rapid gasps of breath. Nagi proceeded to send the chair the most hateful glare Reo had ever witnessed her muster up. As if it wasn't her own gaming chair!
"We can move elsewhere," she reassured.
The other girl complied. She recollected the limbs previously draped all over the chair and stood up properly.
As they both got up to move elsewhere, Reo's phone rang out. It was vibrating on the coffee table, where it had been left.
"Take it later," Nagi demanded, impatient as ever.
"I have to at least check, who's calling me."
She scurried to the phone and took it in her hands. A frown stretched out over her forehead: "It's my father."
Nagi's attempt at masking her annoyed expression was not very efficient: "What does he want?"
The same question was bugging Reo, but she didn't ponder on it. She accepted the call and placed her phone next to her ear.
"Reo mustered up all of her willpower to keep her voice collected: "Hello."
Her father's tone was flat: "Hello, Reo. Where are you right now?"
The blunt wording carved a pit in her stomach. He was not calling just to check in, not that he usually did.
"I'm at Nagi's."
A soft hum could be heard through the line: "Noted. Ba-Ya will pick you up in 10 minutes. Don't make her wait."
Before she managed to ask any follow-up questions, the line went dead. So did the mood. Nagi had picked up on the worry in her face and was now looking at her with blank eyes.
"Is he mad at you?" she asked hesitantly.
"I think so," she slipped her phone in the pocket of Nagi's hoodie. It didn't fit her, but it was awfully comfortable. "I have to go home. See you at the game tomorrow?"
Even thinking of facing her teammates seemed insufferable at the moment. She was smart enough to not expect a nice reception after her stunt today.
"See you."
***
The house felt silent as Reo stepped over the threshold, despite it never being particularly loud to begin with. Her nerves were killing her. The received call had been incredibly vague and she wasn't even sure exactly what part of her recent acting out had displeased her father.
Muffled voices could be heard from the living room. With sharpened ears Reo headed in their direction. No sound sentences could be made out, but it didn't deter her from trying.
With the creek of the door opening, her mother's voice became clearer.
" - just worried about her," a slight tremble could be heard in her voice, contrasting to her usual perfectly practiced tone.
The conversation went dead as two pairs of eyes rushed to take in Reo's arrival. All of a sudden she felt too conscious of the clothes she was wearing - the ones she borrowed from Nagi. They looked quite different from the expensive, classy blouses and bottoms she usually sported. The expressions of her parent's didn't give away any sign of scorn, but she wondered if they could tell anyway.
"I'm home," she declared as if it wasn't obvious.
Reo chose to linger in the doorway, despite both of her parents inhabiting the silk couch and the armchairs being free for the taking. She would have just stayed there, had her mother not called her over to sit down: "Come, take a seat, sweetie!"
The armchair furthest away from them was the lesser evil. She averted their gazes as she sat down.
The real conversation started when her father opened his mouth: "You weren't in class today."
Reo just nodded.
"Why is that?"
There was no appropriate truth for an answer, so she settled for a half-truth instead: "I… I've been a bit stressed lately."
The girl lifted her head only to come face to face with an expression that confirmed her father had seen right through her.
"And… and I fought with Nagi," she quickly added, "but it's fine now. We made up."
Her mother reached for her hand. Reo didn't flinch away even if touching anyone right now seemed like a horrible prospect. It was far too grounding when all she wanted was to fade away.
"Aw, sweetie, is it relationship stress? Is he not treating you well?"
"No!" a loud denial boomed through the room, "no, it's nothing like that. Just a… minor argument. I… I have a game tomorrow so I'm more nervous than usual."
"Is the game against a strong team?" her father inquired.
It was an unexpected question, but she'd take it over anything more invasive.
"Yeah. They have a very good forward. Itoshi Sae's sister."
He hummed: "Then it makes sense you were anxious. You should go rest."
She took the opportunity to go. When she was at the door, her father called out to her: "But, Reo. If you're feeling down, let us know. We will excuse your absences. You have good grades, it's okay if you miss a few classes, as long as it doesn't become a habit."
A small smile crept up on her face: "Thank you."
***
Morning came far too quickly, but when did it not. The past day had been a full-on roller coaster, so playing such an important game seemed far too harsh. At least they didn't have to drive too far, the other team bearing that burden.
Her teammates were clearly frustrated with her going M.I.A. yesterday, but it didn't make a big difference, as Reo and Nagi were the ones carrying their plays most of the time. None of them were angry enough with her to jeopardize their game completely, which could be attributed to Reo's charming people skills.
They didn't generally play badly, but they lost by a landslide. Itoshi Rin truly was a force to be reckoned with. Nagi's goals managed to close the gap a bit, and they did score more points than most other schools who had played them this season, but there could only be one victor, so that was that.
"I'm sorry," Nagi said as she passed her a bottle of water.
"Why?"
She shrugged: "For losing. I know winning these games means a lot to you."
It was true that Reo dreaded losing in general, and much more so when it came to football. In theory, she had expected to handle this much worse.
"I'm not as upset as I expected," she muttered, "I think it's less about the world cup for me now."
Her eyes raked over Nagi. Some of her light hair stuck to her face in sweaty clumps. Her pale skin contrasted against their school's light blue jerseys, and, due to them being more tight fitting than all her other clothes, the short hair could fool no one in believing she's a man, at least if they looked at her long enough. Finding women attractive still came with complicated feelings, but they were an after thought buried under piles of adoration for Nagi. Her perfect treasure. Much more valuable than anything money could buy her.
Nagi's gaze traveled across her shoulder and her eyes widened slightly: "Reo, did you invite your parents?"
Her head whirled around on instinct, loosing all discretion. There they both were in the stands. A friendly wave from her mother greeted her as their eyes locked.
She left Nagi where she was, and hurried over. Her heart threatened to jump out of her throat and dry up in the field.
"What are you doing here?" her voice cracked on the last syllable.
"Well, it was such an important game, how could we miss it?" her mother spoke in a voice so fake and avoidant it made her wonder why she didn't go into politics.
"We lost, so you can go now," frustration bled over into her voice, but she knew hiding her secret was useless now. Even if they somehow had missed Nagi's feminine figure, there was no doubt they would have missed 'him' being on the girls team.
Her father spoke in a collected, grounding voice: "Are you worried that we know about Nagi?"
An answer refused to come out of her mouth. She just stared like a deer in headlights, her lips slightly parted but uncooperative. Her silence was telling enough.
"Honey," her mother started, "it's… unconventional, but we can put up with it, as long as she makes you happy."
Her father nodded in agreement: "It does explain why you felt the need to hide your relationship from us. It saddens me, that you felt like you couldn't tell us. Nagi seems like a good influence on you, even if she is a girl."
"Yes!" her mother agreed, "if she becomes a drug addict or anything of the sort, I will have to ask you to part ways, but otherwise, it is okay! Our wallets can afford any controversy in relation to something like this. She's not like a criminal or anything, right?"
Reo just kept staring at her: "Um, no. She barely leaves the house."
"That's great then! She's welcome over any time!"
A hum escaped her father's lips: "I'm more curious if you still want to play football. Aren't you bored yet?"
Reo scowled: "No! I like to play!"
"Aww, young love," her mother giggled, "I guess it is common for lesbians to enjoy sports. Especially the ones with short hair! You don't plan on cutting your hair, do you?"
"My hair is fine."
The ride home was a strange experience. But Reo had to count her wins where she got them.
***
While they couldn't host an actual wedding, they did end up throwing a party anyway. Reo wore the white gown Nagi had picked out for her. In turn, Reo picked out an outfit for Nagi as well.
It was a white, chiffon mulet dress, specifically one easy for Nagi to move around in. She knew her girlfriend would not settle for anything uncomfortable to wear, which made it a long search, but it paid off. A warm feeling settled in her heart when looking at a Nagi who wasn't playing pretend. Her hair, however, was boyish as usual. She was all prettied up, but still clearly herself.
The ballroom felt far too wide for the small amount of guests they had invited. If anyone had told Reo a month ago that she would be willingly invited Isagi to a party, she would have laughed at it without question. Bachira was right next to the girl, talking her ear off, as expected. Kunigami and Chigiri were there as well, along with some of Reo and Nagi's school friends.
It felt silly in comparison to the grandiose balls her parent's held, but it was more important than ever really.
"How do you like the painting?" asked Nagi, nodding to an abstract art piece with a variety of squares.
Reo clung to her arm, as she led her to the dance floor: "It's nice. And so sweet of you to get me something like that. What prompted it?"
They arrived in the center and settled into a slow dance along with the quiet music in the background. Out of the corner of her eye Reo could see Kunigami smile at them. She really was where she was meant to be.
"I bought it from Bachira's mom's art gallery, because it reminded me of you," Nagi explained, falling into step with Reo, resting her hands on her waist in a familiar grip.
"I didn't know you were into art."
"I wouldn't say I am," she shrugged.
As the slow music went on, more pairs joined the dance floor. Some were couples. like Chigiri and Kunigami or the girls from school with their boyfriends, but others just danced along with their friends.
Reo's eyes, of course, were only on Nagi. The light had dimmed slightly, causing her hair to look more silvery than it ever did in day light. At the start of the party, she had agreed to apply some lip gloss, but it wast mostly gone, leaving only a glittery trail on the outer areas.
"Hey, Nagi," Reo didn't bother to raise her eye back to eye level, "can I kiss you? For real this time."
"Of course," Nagi said. They met half way in a quick peck. Despite it's chaste nature, it felt freeing.