Chapter Text
Ramshackle Dorm ♤ Yuu’s Room
Satisfied with the information that the crow was out and the ghosts were occupying Grim, Yuu only barely kept themself from slamming the door.
They marched into the room, before falling down next to the practically collapsed bed and curling up into a ball against it.
Reaching their hands up into their hair, Yuu grabbed hold of large clumps before yanking and pulling.
Yuu could feel their breathing speeding up, but they just couldn’t get enough air into their lungs. They let go of their hair and tore off their mask.
It still wasn’t enough, maybe the binder was the problem?
Yuu deliriously shuffled out of their shirt and shoved the binder off of themself, before hoisting their shirt back on and scrunching up even more.
”What the hell was I thinking!?” Yuu cried as they scratched at their arms, skin turning red as welts arose on their skin, “Why the fuck did I tell them that? What the hell is wrong with me!?”
Yuu breathed heavily, before releasing a close-mouthed scream and hitting their head back against the frame of the bed.
”Fucking idiot!” Yuu spoke to themself, “Why the hell did you tell them that!? I look insane now! There’s no way they’ll actually let me stay here with their actual students!”
Tears spilled out of their eyes, unwilling. Yuu whined and lifted their arm to their mouth, sinking their sharp teeth in. Not enough to bleed, but the already reddening skin was soon adorned with a conglomerate of bite marks.
”F-fuck…They’re gonna send me to some kind of insane asylum at this rate!” Yuu said anxiously, remembering Nurse Yun’s words, “I can’t believe I spilled my guts like that…It’s not safe, I can’t be safe…Just because that little fucker is gone doesn’t mean I’m free…”
Yuu’s hands grasped at their face, taking hold of whatever they could grab—skin or hair it didn’t matter. They just needed to hold.
”It’s not safe, it’s not safe, it’s not safe…” They shook their head, “Not safe, never safe, never free…”
Yuu’s head was pounding, it felt like Athena herself was trying to break free from their mind. They were so fucking tired, they just wanted to rest.
“I n-need…I need to calm down,” Yuu said, resolutely, “I can’t be caught unawares like this…”
Yuu breathed in for four seconds, imagining the line of a box appearing. They held that breath for another four seconds as the next line of the box appeared. Out, they released it, four seconds. Hold for four and one box is complete.
In four, hold four, out four, hold four…
In four, hold four, out four, hold four…
In four, hold four, out four, hold four…
Repeating the action, Yuu pried their own hands from their face, imagining box after box. It was far more helpful than their prior grasping and clawing. It wasn’t fully enough though.
But, eventually, their breathing had steadied enough that it no longer came out in hiccuping, stuttering breaths.
“L-Little bread-and-butterflies kiss the tulips…”
Yuu sang quietly to themself with a slightly scratchy voice, recalling the song a choir of flowers once sang to them. It’s not like they could remember very many songs from before anyway. Not any important enough to them, at least,
“And the sun is—“ They hiccuped, “is like a toy balloon…”
Yuu breathed in, little songs like these had always been calming and soothing in the toughest times (at least, the ones they can remember).
“There are get-ups in the morning glories…” Yuu sniffled and rubbed at the corner of their eye, “in the golden afternoon…”
Yuu’s voice trailed off as they rested their head against the bed, allowing their eyes to slip close, consumed by their exhaustion.
???
Yuu stumbled where they stood on marble flooring, attempting to adjust to their new sense of balance after falling through a rabbit hole.
”Ah, shit!” They yelped, before falling backwards onto the large wings and tail. Giving up on life, they sprawled out on the floor, “…hah…”
Looking at the fanciful, ornate ceiling, Yuu was quick to identify where they found themself.
Their weird, freaky mind castle.
Or as Hatta had called it, ‘The Alice Palace.’
Yuu is not calling it that.
”Yes! Found them!” Someone called from the large doors, and Yuu sat up some to see their fellow First Cycle members.
”Help…me…” They spoke dramatically, throwing their arms into the air. The almost humorous action a stark contrast to how they’d been mere moments ago. But, Yuu was good at adapting when the need arose.
Although, the way their emotions seemed to flip and sway was concerning, and almost uncanny.
Hatta came running forward, breaking away from the other Alices. He grabbed them by their forearms and hoisted them into the air.
”Ugh,” Yuu said and they swayed where they stood, “So, last night wasn’t a dream?”
”Well, yes, but also no,” Lyra said.
”That explains nothing,” Yuu groaned.
”Who cares!” Sharon griped, “I can’t believe you thought we were a dream, but that killing the tiny rat wasn’t!”
”How did you know that!?”
“It’s quite interesting, no?” Hatta spoke, “Sharon seems to have found herself able to hear your thoughts!”
”What?” Yuu said harshly.
”Woah, woah, woah,” Sharon rushed to say when she noticed Yuu bristle, their eyes and hair tips lighting up somewhat, “It’s not, like, 24/7 or anything! It’s more like, y’know, tuning into a radio…”
”I would rather you not read my thoughts at all,” Yuu crossed their arms.
”What!? But Lyra used your eyes! And Iracebeth’s been listening in on your conversations!” Sharon whined, “Why is it only a problem when I do it!?”
”…When you all informed me of this previously, I wasn’t aware that you were able to tune in and out,” Yuu narrowed their eyes, “Or that it, apparently, varied from person to person.”
”Learn how to make it go staticky then, loser,” Lyra said without any heat.
”Oh, I’m planning on it!” Yuu responded and then hesitated, “…After I figure out why I apparently become some kind of anime main character when I sleep…” They twisted around, trying their best to maintain balance as they took in their appearance once more.
”Hmm,” Iracebeth walked forward, heels clicking on the floor. Reaching Yuu, they poked and prodded at their wings, horns, ear fins, and tails. “I must say… your new, ah, appendages appear to bear great similarity to the ones that The Jabberwock bore.”
”Oh god, I didn’t, like, fuse with Jay did I!?”
Iracebeth scoffed, “I still can’t believe he let you call him something so diminutive,” She remarked, “And of course you didn’t. If I had to take a guess, hm…”
”What? What is it?” Yuu asked.
”Yeah, spit it out, ya old hag!” Hatta shouted before breaking down into senseless laughter.
Lyra walked up behind the man and proceeded to smack the ever living shit out of his back, causing him to cough and wheeze.
”…No, I can’t say anything for certain with what little information we have,”
Iracebeth shook her head and removed a folded fan from her belt, flipping it open and holding it in front of her face.
“Especially considering the discrepancies between you when you’re awake versus here.”
”Awww, Beth,” Hatta pouted when he saw her take out the fan, “Ya know I didn’t mean it, right?”
The twins shook their head in synch, and then noticed what they’d done before looking at each other in disgust.
”Maybe you’re, like, secretly half-dragon!” Sharon tore away from glaring at Lyra, “And the whole key thing was you unlocking your secret bloodline!”
Yuu gave the girl a deadpan stare, “Does anyone else have any idea?”
Lyra lifted a gentle hand to her chin in thought, “Well, maybe this is your subconscious’s way of honoring the late dragon?” She suggested, “Judging from what you’ve told us, the two of you were quite close. And he was the first being with a soul you would’ve seen die. That kind of experience would leave mental scarring, no?”
“Ugh…” Yuu groaned, “Whatever. Have you guys found anymore clues as to what all this is?” They gestured to the entirety of the room.
”Well…” Lyra trailed off.
”Well?”
”Evidence would suggest that both of the 3rd Cycle’s Hearts were correct.” Lyra finished.
”The 3rd cycle’s hearts…” Yuu thought for a moment, “Ah! Len and Rin, correct? Those two were the ones who figured it out? The two you’d mentioned last night?”
”Mm,” Lyra nodded.
”Ah, but if both of them were correct,” Yuu attempted to pace back and forth, but ceased the first time they almost tripped, “Then what of Rin’s theory about the keyhole?”
”Oh, well, if these features of yours are truly a side effect of your time in Wonderland, whether or not it’s The Jabberwock’s influence,” Lyra explained, “Then, technically, her theory would be correct.”
”Ah…” Yuu held a hand up to their head, “This is all so confusing…Why couldn’t I have woken up in Hawaii or something?”
”What’s a Hawaii?” Hatta asked.
”I believe it’s where,” Iracebeth corrected him, and then anxiously asked, “This Hawaii is a place, right?”
”Yeah, real tourist hotspot,” Sharon responded.
”Ugh, tourists,” Iracebeth scoffed.
”Am I technically a tourist in Twisted Wonderland?” Yuu wondered aloud.
”Oh! Yes, Twisted Wonderland!” Lyra suddenly gasped.
”I am a tourist?”
”What? No, maybe? Whatever, not what I meant,” Lyra shook her head quickly.
”Oh yeah!” Sharon exclaimed, “Yuu! We’re assigning you a quest!”
”This isn’t a video game, Share,” Lyra sighed.
”My life is like a video game…” Yuu hummed.
Hatta practically vibrated in place off to the side as he spoke, “She’s got a point, though! We are requesting something of Yuu!”
”Do you guys want, like, graves or something?” Yuu asked, “I think Ramshackle had a graveyard out front.”
”No—wait, actually, could you do that?” Lyra asked.
”I mean, yeah, I don’t see why not,” Yuu shrugged.
”I want a mausoleum,” Iracebeth sniffed.
”Best I can do is a tombstone,” Yuu replied and Iracebeth barely, just barely, slumped a bit.
”We’re getting off track!” Lyra exclaimed and glared at the gathered Alices.
”Sorry, sorry,” Yuu apologized, “Whaddy’all need?”
”We—“
”Ah, yes, the royal we,” Sharon interrupted.
”Okay, just because you idiots don’t care doesn’t mean none of the other Alices do,” Lyra glared at Sharon, “Anyways, as I was saying. Some of us were hoping you could locate a library, or something of the sorts, and find some information on this Twisted Wonderland place. It wouldn’t do to be completely clueless in a new and unknown world.”
”Hmm, you’ve gotta point…” Yuu replied.
”It shouldn’t be too hard,” Lyra continued, “After all you are in a school aren’t you? And that Trein man offered to help teach you!”
”Ew, look at her,” Sharon pretended to whisper, but clearly meant to be heard, “She’s practically foaming at the mouth…”
Hatta cackled like a hyena and floating slightly into the air.
”Is the flying a dream thing, or…?” Yuu asked, pointing at Hatta as Lyra pounced at Sharon.
“Physics were…optional…in a way while we were stuck as spirits in Wonderland,” Iracebeth replied, ignoring the twins wrestling behind her, “It seems that is the same in here. Hatta has especially taken advantage of that.”
”Why would I listen to gravity if I have the choice not to?” Hatta asks, “In here reality is merely a suggestion!”
Yuu shifted uncomfortably, or at least, as much as they could with the unfamiliar addition to their body.
Hatta caught notice of the action and ceased his playing, “Is something the matter Dear Yuu?”
At his question, the twins stopped wrestling on the floor and Iracebeth’s attention snapped to Yuu and Hatta.
”I…” Yuu breathed, suppressing their anxiety as best as they could, “I spilled the beans!”
”There are beans here?” Hatta asked, looking around, “Where?”
”Not literal beans!” Yuu yelled, “I told the teachers about Wonderland!”
…
”Uh, yeah,” Sharon said slowly, “We know.”
”What?” Yuu replied in shock.
”Did you not hear me mention that Trein guy?” Lyra asked, “Sorry for not asking first, but we were worried so we’d been…”
”Listening in?” Yuu supplied.
”Well, I was listening,” Iracebeth corrected, “Lyra used your eyes to watch, while Sharon listened in on your thoughts.”
”I really wish you guys wouldn’t do that,” Yuu bit out.
”We were worried!” Sharon argued, “And we had no idea what was going on with you otherwise!”
”Well I don’t appreciate you guys assuming you had some kind of right to do that! Without permission!” Yuu yelled back.
“And how do you expect us to ask!?” Sharon exclaimed.
”I’m telling you now, aren’t I!?” Yuu screamed, “Stay out of my fucking head!”
”Seriously? We were trying to be helpful—“
”QUIET!” Iracebeth yelled overtop of the two, snapping her fan shut.
Yuu flinched, stepping back only to trip and fall onto their ass. Their eyes widened as they realized what they’d done.
”Shit, I’m sorry I just—“ Yuu was cut off.
”Don’t apologize, you blockhead!” Sharon yelled.
”Did I not just tell the two of you to be quiet?” Iracebeth glared at the teenagers.
Sharon and Yuu looked away, avoiding her burning gaze.
Hatta swam through the air over to Yuu, reaching out and helping them to their feet.
Opposite of Yuu, Lyra walked over to Sharon and leaned against the girl.
”Look, I’m sorry, but it’s just that I…” Yuu trailed off.
”Have issues with people doing things without your consent,” Iracebeth finished for them.
”Okay that makes it sound like something a lot worse happened!” Yuu squeaked.
”The statement still stands,” Iracebeth retorted, “We took action without your permission, going so far as to access your eyes, ears, and personal thoughts. It was a violation of your privacy and self.”
”That wasn’t my intention…” Sharon said weakly.
”It wasn’t mine either, but the path to hell is paved with good intentions,” Iracebeth replied.
”You’re allowed to be upset,” Hatta suddenly said to Yuu, “And you shouldn’t be apologizing for that.”
Yuu looked away.
”If anyone should be saying sorry, it’s me,” Sharon sighed.
”I still yelled at you,” Yuu tried to argue.
”Which was well deserved!” Sharon replied, “I should’ve known you’d have problems with this kind of thing after, well, everything…”
”Right, kumbayah my lord and all that shit,” Lyra interrupted, “Now hug and makeout.”
Yuu face turned red, “E-excuse me!?”
”Lyra!” Sharon exclaimed.
”Oh my,” Iracebeth said, caught off guard.
”What? What did I…” Lyra trailed off, eyes widening, “I MEANT MAKE UP! I MEANT MAKE UP!”
Yuu couldn’t help it. They laughed—bright, loud, and unapologetically obnoxious.
Their face turned red once more, but this time from the sheer force of their laughter, as they fell to the floor with heaving guffaws.
”It wasn’t that funny!” Lyra defended herself.
”I—“ Yuu cut off into laughter, “I’m sorry, I think I’m just…Just delirious at this point…”
”Is it possible to sleep in a dream?” Sharon asked, out of the blue.
”What?” Lyra turned to her sister.
”Yuu is dreaming right now, right?” Sharon asked, “Can they not sleep here then?”
”I don’t know!” Lyra said.
”I…I can try?” Yuu spoke, a bit caught off guard by the subject change.
”I say it’s a good idea,” Iracebeth added.
”Yeahhhh,” Hatta nodded, “Just because your body’s getting rested doesn’t mean your mind is. I think you could benefit from shutting off for a moment.
”Perfect!” Sharon said cheerfully, running over to Yuu, “I can show you where the bedrooms are!”
??? ♤ Winding Hallway
”Oh, this is…” Yuu said quietly as the others led them around a corner, leaving behind a winding hallway.
The hallway in front of Yuu held a startling architecture, a dizzying spiral of walls and doors. Varying sizes and colors of entrances, some on the roof or floor, and some simply on the walls.
Yuu reached out to Hatta, hoping to steady themself even more, with their new center of gravity they weren’t sure this would be easy.
Hatta accepted their hand easily and helped to keep them planted upright.
”Everyone else has already found their rooms,” Lyra said walking over to a bucket full of bright red paint.
”There should still be room at the end of the hall for you, though,” Sharon reassured them as Lyra walked over with the paint.
”Come along now,” Iracebeth commanded as the group made their way down the veritable tunnel of doors.
Noise could be heard emanating from a few of the rooms, but the no longer living paid no attention to it, so Yuu ignored it as well.
When the gravity began to shift, they made sure to tighten their grip on Hatta before taking a step onto the twisting walls. Yuu took a moment to steady themself once more, before resuming their walk, now at a 90 degree angle with what was once the floor.
There was less than 30 doors, and they were all packed tightly together, but it was a bit of a long walk to reach the end regardless of that fact.
Eventually, the group came to a stop, standing firmly on the floor once more, in front of a bare space of wall.
”Here,” Lyra said, handing the bucket of red paint and brush over to Yuu.
”Thanks,” Yuu said, accepting it and squatting as best as they could.
They dunked the brush into the paint before removing it and holding it to the mold where the wall met the floor bored. Carefully, they pulled it upwards as they brought themself to full height, before jutting it over and bringing the line back down, parallel with their starting point.
Removing the brush from the wall, Yuu stepped back to watch as the door appeared. Handing the paint back to Lyra, they tentatively reached a hand out to the black knob of the mahogany door.
They breathed deeply, remembering how the others had commented on their rooms being similar to what they’d had before the cycles.
Twisting the doorknob, Yuu closed their eyes and pushed the door open with a wide swing.
”Woah…” Sharon spoke, “I wasn’t expecting this…”
Yuu opened their eyes, and suddenly lost all the oxygen in their lungs (did they have any oxygen in a dream in the first place?)
The room was disturbingly familiar, from the bed pushed to the corner, to the corkboard covered in drawings. Even their old circular mirror was there, sitting innocently as though it hadn’t been the one to bring them to Wonderland.
”What—“ Yuu choked out, “How? This, how is this here?”
”Is this what your room back home looked like?” Lyra asked.
Yuu swallowed, “…As far as I can remember…”
They looked at a bookshelf to the right, and suddenly they could remember reading books during school. They had always been one of the fastest readers. They could remember asking for all kinds of fiction and fantasy books for Christmas…
They looked at the bed, joined by three different stuffed toys, and could remember staying up till the dead of night, hugging them as they cried themself to sleep night after night.
The shelves with small porcelain children, and a wooden crescent moon. Those fell on them once, when they’d gotten up in the night. They’d been forced to stand there holding a shelf on their back as they called for help.
Their nightstand covered with trinkets and a humidifier, the vanity from their grandma, their collection of glassware, their old Lego sets, the angel music player, their lamp, their saucer chair, even their old laundry basket!
”I…I haven’t seen any of this in years,” Yuu said, stepping in hesitantly. As if passing an invisible barrier, the spell broke.
Yuu ran in and began to dig through all their things, twisting around and smiling as they showed it off to the Alice’s who had entered as well.
No longer focusing on their body, instinct allowed them to weave through the room despite their unfamiliar body.
”My aunt got these for me!” Yuu exclaimed, holding up two matching plushies that had been kept separate from the ones on the bed. They rushed over to their book shelf, removing some books, “And these are all the Riordans books I used to read!”
A purple ball caught their eye, “Oh my gods, I forgot I had a plasma ball!” They spoke quickly, holding it out to their companions, “I got this at a gift shop at the museum of science in Chicago!” They placed it down and noticed the dolls on the other side of the room.
”Holy shit!” They squealed, rushing over whilst turning to the twins, “Did you guys have monster high in your world?”
”Yeah!” Sharon nodded enthusiastically.
Yuu held up a pink doll, “I totally loved these things!” They moved their clawed hands to the tiny little unicorn and pegasi figures accompanying the dolls, “I forgot about the tokidoki figures! This one’s my favorite!” They turned to show a shadowy black alicorn to the group.
”Oh, I remember seeing blind bags for those,” Lyra commented.
”Wait, wait, wait!” Yuu exclaimed, “I have to show you my glass collection!”
They hurried over to a large cabinet, they could remember that it used to be the stand for their families old box tv. But now, the spot where the tv used to be inserted had been replaced with shelves. On the shelves was an assortment of glass bottles, terrariums, and cups.
”I used to go to thrift and dollar stores,” Yuu explained, the euphoria of remembering driving them, “The small ones are perfume bottles that my grandma bought me for Christmas!”
They turned giddily, and began to point at areas all over the room, “I remember making that in art class! Oh, and I bought that at a garage sale! Oooh, and these used to belong to my great grandma!” They practically scurried around the room, taking up more space than they ever remembered, “One time, I found a bunch of rocks I really liked so I kept them in this drawer for, like, months.”
“I’m surprised you can remember all this,” Iracebeth said offhandedly.
”Yeah, why wouldn’t I—“ Yuu cut themself off. Their hands lowered somewhat, going slack around the cheap Halloween lightsticks they’d found, “How could I have forgotten all this..?”
”Yuu?” Sharon asked.
”I didn’t—“ Yuu started to speak anxiously, “I didn’t remember any of this, not till now. How could I have forgotten? Everything in here has a story, how did I forget it all?”
The room felt like it was spinning as they started to back up and their eyes caught onto new things, “Th-that…” They pointed at a painting in their bookshelf, “I don’t remember…I don’t remember where I got that—“
”Yuu, are you alright?” Lyra asked.
They reached out snatching up a photo on their desk, they could recognize themself—probably only seven years old—but they were surrounded by the blurry faces of kids they didn’t recognize, “Who are they? Who are these kids? Why can’t I remember them?”
”Yuu, dear…” Hatta spoke.
”WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER!?” Yuu screamed bringing their hands up to their head.
”Yuu, please!” Lyra pleaded, “Just take a deep breath.”
”No, I can’t, I can’t,” Yuu shook their head, they retracted their hands to snatch up a decorated terrarium, a DIY suncatcher, “I made this, I made this with somebody. I can’t remember, who did I make this with?”
”Yuu, it’s alright…” Hatta tried to say.
”And the stuff my grandma got me? My aunt?” Yuu said, “I don’t know who my grandma is! I didn’t even know I had an aunt! Who are they? What do they look like?”
”Yuu!” Sharon suddenly took hold of Yuu’s shoulder, right in front of them.
Yuu looked down at her, “Why can’t I remember…?”
”You will,” Sharon said, “You already are starting to. It’s gone? The tiny dream is gone. You will remember.”
”Then why don’t I already remember?”
”Give it time,” Sharon tried, “You’ll remember with time, you’ve already noticed and remembered things you didn’t before, yeah?”
Yuu turned to look at their surroundings, eyes catching onto an object on their bookshelf. A garden decoration of all things, but they couldn’t remember a single thing about the object, despite being drawn to it.
”Why did I have to forget in the first place?” Yuu said, “What did I do wrong to have earned this?”
”Nothing,” Iracebeth said, approaching, “You did nothing wrong?”
”Then what was this all for?” Yuu asked, “Why did it feel the need to take me from my home? Send me to Wonderland and try to turn me mad? All because I wanted to disappear for a mere moment?”
”The tiny dream was an unexplainable little thing,” Lyra said, “There’s no telling why it happened.”
”It’s dead, it’s gone,” Yuu said monotonously, “Why am I still in its grasp? Why does it still take and torment?”
”I don’t know,” Lyra said, “None of us do.”
Yuu’s knees felt weak as they began to sink to the floor, Sharon kept hold of them and Hatta surged forward to help support them.
”I want to go to sleep,” Yuu cried, “I want to go to sleep, i-in a bed. I want to dream of stupid things like cats on pogo sticks or fighting monkeys again.”
”Come on,” Sharon said, weirdly soft as she and Hatta brought Yuu over to the bed.
”I’m so tired,” Yuu sniffled, “I’m always so tired.”
The two helped Yuu into the bed, and Sharon stepped back as Hatta laid the multiple blankets overtop of them.
Yuu turned to their side, curling up like a…They curled up like something, their parents gave them a nickname because of it. What did they call them?
Yuu grabbed ahold of the stuffed sloth, weighted and a gift from their mom.
Holding the sloth tight, they hurried their face and cried harder.
They didn’t even hear the others leave or the door click shut.
They didn’t notice as they lost consciousness, despite already being asleep. Their mind shutting off just like their body.
The absence of dreams embraced them, pulling them in its nothingness.
It was the most peace they’d felt in a long time.