Chapter Text
Lois Lane had exactly three weaknesses.
The first was coffee.
The second was Pulitzer-worthy stories.
The third was weaponizing Clark Kent's inability to say no.
"Absolutely not."
Lois looked up from her desk. “You didn't even let me finish.”
“I know where this is going.”
“No you don't.”
“I do.”
“You don't.”
Clark pointed accusingly with his pen. “I know it involves Bruce Wayne.”
“It involves journalism.”
“See? You didn’t say no!”
Lois just smiled in response and Clark closed his eyes knowing that there was no escaping his fate.
The Daily Planet had been unusually quiet for a Tuesday morning, until Lois interrupted him.
Not actually quiet, of course. Phones still rang every few minutes, keyboards clacked like distant rain, Jimmy had somehow managed to convince two interns to recreate a photograph of Green Lantern rescuing a cat using only office supplies, and Perry White could still be heard yelling through the glass walls of his office with enough force to make several reporters instinctively straighten their posture.
To Clark Kent, however, it was peaceful.
That might've been the first sign.
Lois slid a folder across Clark's desk.
WAYNE B. - EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW REQUEST
“No.” He said.
Perry chose that exact moment to emerge from his office.
“Kent.”
Clark straightened automatically. Perry jerked a thumb toward Lois. “She tell you?”
“Uh-, Yeah.”
“Good.”
“...Good?”
“We've been trying to get Wayne for almost eight months.”
Clark blinked.
“Eight months, really?”
“Man's harder to schedule than the President.”
Lois nodded dramatically. “I've been ghosted by his assistants’ assistants and I once got transferred six times only to end up talking to a florist.”
Perry frowned. “...I remember that.”
“They sent me roses.”
“Clark. Bruce likes Superman and-” Lois continued mercilessly while leaning forward, “you've interviewed Superman more than anyone here.”
Clark just sighed and buried his head in his hands.
“Come on Smallville, you're good with people!”
“I thought you once said Bruce Wayne wasn't people.” Clark frowned.
“He isn't,” Lois admitted. “He's... Bruce Wayne.”
And yeah, there wasn’t anything else that could describe the man quite as good. He had read every public interview Bruce Wayne had ever given and most didn’t last very long.
One had consisted entirely of Bruce complimenting the reporter's tie before leaving halfway through because ‘a dolphin looked lonely’.
But Clark also knew better now… knew him better now.
And maybe that was the worst part: knowing Wayne and actually enjoying his company all while his best friend, Batman, was trying to court the billionaire.
“He’s unpredictable.” Clark sighed.
Lois snorted.
“That's the fun part.”
⚬──────────✧──────────⚬
Bruce Wayne was halfway through signing documents when Alfred quietly entered.
“There is another interview request, Sir.”
Bruce didn't look up.
“Decline it.”
“It's from the Daily Planet.”
“...Decline it politely.”
“The interviewer requested is Clark Kent.”
Bruce's pen stopped moving.
“...Clark Kent.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Bruce leaned back.
Clark Kent.
The awkward reporter and the man Batman had… accidentally threatened. The civilian Superman apparently visited almost every night.
The civilian Batman had very much unintentionally started romance rumors with.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
Bruce folded his hands beneath his chin.
“...Accept.”
Alfred blinked, looking the least bit surprised. "Should I notify the communications department?”
Bruce smiled pleasantly and nodded.
⚬──────────✧──────────⚬
“I thought we'd be more comfortable over here.”
It was an unexpected choice. Most executives insisted on sitting behind their desks, using polished oak and unnecessary square footage as an extension of their authority. Bruce, however, lowered himself into one of the armchairs in his office as though they were simply two people meeting for coffee.
A member of the staff appeared almost soundlessly placing two mugs on the low table between them.
Once the door clicked shut again, Bruce pushed one of the mugs toward Clark while loading his own with sugar.
Clark held back a wince now that he knew how the billionaire actually preferred his coffee.
He reached into his satchel and pulled out a small recorder alongside a neatly organized notebook.
Bruce watched with mild curiosity as Clark placed the recorder between them before glancing up.
“If you're ready, we can begin.”
Bruce looked at the device for a long moment before leaning farther back into the chair.
“Let's play Twenty Questions.”
Clark blinked. “Um…”
“I'm serious.”
“You're aware I'm here to interview you?”
“But I'm bored-” Brucie complained, drawing the word out dramatically enough that Clark was almost convinced that it was more of a whine. “And Superman said you're fun."
Clark froze.
His smile remained politely fixed in place, but internally his thoughts came to a screeching halt.
No...
Superman had most certainly not said that.
Not to Bruce Wayne.
Not ever.
Because that conversation would require Superman to admit he'd spent enough time around Clark Kent to form an opinion in the first place.
“I'm afraid Superman may have exaggerated.” Clark said, outwardly still smiling politely.
Bruce tilted his head.
“He seemed quite certain.”
“I'm... flattered, I suppose.”
“You should be.”
Bruce rested his chin on one hand, studying him with an expression that was impossible to read. “Come on, let’s make a deal.”
“What do you propose Mr Wayne?”
“You play with me and I’ll-” He glanced past Clark towards the grandfather clock behind him. “give you a half an hour long serious interview.”
Lois would owe him such a huge favor.
“Okay, agreed.”
Bruce at least had the manners to look mildly surprised.
“The rules are simple.” He finally said. “We alternate between asking, if either person refuses to answer, they owe the other one a question later and most important of all.. no lying.”
“Understood. Who starts?”
“Me, of course.” Bruce grinned lazily.
“Is transcripting this okay?” Clark asked and held up his notebook.
The other seemed to hesitate before agreeing happily under the condition that nothing of this conversation would ever see the page of a newspaper.
20 Questions with Bruce W.
1:
B: What is your favorite color?
C: Easy Blue
B: Just blue?
C: That another question Mr Wayne?
B: Is this yours?
B: What kind of blue?
C: Same as the sky outside I suppose
C: What is your favorite color?
B: Real creative Kent, It’s navy
C: Could’ve just said blue
2:
B: What’s your favorite place?
C: Home
B: Very specific
C: What's your favorite place you’ve been to then?
B: Depends
C: Somewhere you could spend the rest of your life
B: Gotham
C: Oh
3:
B: Let’s do another easy one, dogs or cats?
C: Oh definitely dogs, you?
B: I’d have to agree though our views part at your “definetly”
C: How do you prefer to take your coffee?
B: …Black, what an odd question
4:
B: You seem like a morning person, are you a morning person?
C: Guilty as charges Mr Wayne
B: I knew it
C: You sound disappointed
B: Is that a question Mr Kent?
C: Are you disappointed?
B: Yes
C: May I ask why?
B: It’s my turn now
5:
B: Is home Metropolis or someplace else?
C: Kansas, my parents live there
C: Are you a morning person Mr Wayne?
B: Please, call me Bruce
C: Are you, Bruce?
B: No I’m not
6:
B: You don’t have an accent
C: Lost it after college and socializing with different people
C: What’s the thing you’re proudest of?
B: My kids
7:
B: If money didn’t exist, what would you do?
C: …Probably exactly what I do now
B: Elaborate
C: That part of the rules?
B: Indulge me
C: Writing, probably, journalism. Helping people.
C: I see you’ve got some bookshelves here, what's your favorite genre?
B: I like detective novels
8:
B: Tell me something embarrassing about you
C: God where to start? I guess I’m just super clumsy overall and I get way to invested in social media dramas
C: What's your biggest fear? If I can uh-, ask that
B: Being too late
9:
B: What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever received?
C: …My mom once told me she’s proud of the man I’ve become
B: That's hard to beat
C: What’s something people always get wrong about you?
B: That I’m stupid
B: They confuse unserious with unintelligent
10:
C: One question left
B: Oh, it's ten each?
C: Uh, I think so yeah, did you never play?
B: No, I was very uninterested in my peers during school and spent my college parties doing… other things
C: I never got invited to parties until much later
B: Really? That’s surprising giving your… um
C: Yeah haha, I used to be one of the nerdy kids I guess
C: Your question?
Bruce looks at the recorder and then up at Clark again.
“...No.”
“What?”
“I've got enough information.”
Clark laughs.
“You don't want your tenth question?”
Bruce shrugs.
“I already know what I wanted to know.”
Clark frowns. “...Which was?”
Bruce smiles that perfectly practiced Bruce Wayne smile.
“That Superman wasn't exaggerating.”
Clark freezes.
“About?”
“That you're fun.”
Clark hummed. “Do I get my last question?”
C: What do you think about Superman?
B: Oh you don’t have to worry Clark, I’ll step down if you want to hav
“Wait- woah what?”
Bruce mustered him with a confused expression.
“Were your feelings supposed to be.. secret?”
“Why do people think-, oh my god did Batman tell you that?” Clark groaned out.
“Batman?”
Clark sighed and set down his notebook. “Yeah he paid me a visit the other night, I just assumed you knew since you two-, you know.”
“...Know what?” Bruce asked. His genuine confusion being even more evident now.
“Nevermind. Me and Superman are not a thing, uh, you and him are.”
“...I suppose.”
Awkward silence made itself known throughout the office until Clark remembered what he had been originally here for.
“Um, the Interview?”
“Oh yes, ask your questions.”