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So... I've been thinking about this. And before I get any further, I wanna preface this by saying I'm NOT abandoning this au. Never in a million years! I love this au, and I love Kieran and all the characters and storylines I've written.
The problem is... I'm tired. I'm so, so tired. And that's not anyone's fault! I got into something that was so much bigger than myself, and I got in over my head, too. I've never had a story so successful, on any platform, here or elsewhere. It's amazing, and terrifying.
I love my readers, and I want to push myself to anyways be the best I can be for them. I want to make the best story I can for them!
But... Well, it's been mentally taxing, as of late. Lately, each time I publish a chapter, each day my thoughts are scrambled, thinking about the work I need to out in, that I need to keep up a decent schedule, or else I'll fall into obscurity and no one will want to listen to or read my tales ever again.
The truth is, I'm suffering some sort of burnout. Constantly working with the same material. If I'm not, my thoughts are constantly plagued with guilt over not getting something done, even though this au was meant to be a just a silly little thing to hold myself over until my other, bigger aus can be completed and brought out.
I didn't mean for it to get like this. I just wanted to make a silly little story, but I don't know what I'm doing at all. I pressured myself, set a time constraint that worked only to my detriment.D
I think I stretched myself far too thin. It's my own fault.
I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry.
I won't abandon this story. No matter how long it takes, I'll come back to it. I just... I just need a break. Everything is so much and I just need to take a step back and work on my other stories in peace, without fear of self inflicted time constraints.
I appreciate each and every one of you, I and I hope I'll be seeing you in the future, whenever that may be :D
You all have an amazing rest of your day/week/month/year!