Chapter Text
- Eclip... - Shadow stopped mid-word as he felt a light, warm touch land on his hand. He stood still for a moment, watching helplessly as his brother impulsively left the cafeteria.
- Shadow, sit down - Rouge whispered to him as more and more eyes focused on him. Shadow understood his partner's concerns and sat down, still keeping his gaze on the door.
He wasn't sure if Rouge was speaking to him, as the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears suddenly intensified around him. His ears drooped slightly, and he tried to keep his eyebrows from rising as his fist clenched and other, trembling one slid down into his lap.
Had he been too firm, or too calm, in his conversation with his brother? Had his brother sensed the fear that raged deep within him? Shadow couldn't answer these questions, just as he couldn't help but swallow with anxiety.
He felt a lump sink into his stomach as he remembered that he had now legal guardianship of Eclipse, which meant he had to keep an even closer eye on him than before. The darkling had seemed very rebellious and temperamental lately, especially after learning that the hedgehog had taken legal custody of him.
"Calm down" - Shadow told himself after a moment, breathing deeply to calm himself down. He tried to put aside the crushing feeling of responsibility and approach the situation rationally.
"Eclipse is having a hard time right now. I need to check where he went" - he thought, then opened his receptors as slowly as he could, not wanting to startle his brother and surprise him. Eclipse's transmitters, even though the darkling was now behind a wall, had picked up their signal and established a mental link.
Before he could ask, his younger brother immediately gave him his destination and quickly deactivated his transmitters, clearly not wanting any intrusions into his own mind. Although the connection lasted only a few moments, Shadow was certain Eclipse meant no harm.
Suddenly, he felt a bump to his side. Instinctively, he frowned, pulled away, and looked in the direction of the impact. His features softened as he saw Rouge's worried eyes, now fixed on him. The aquamarine fled for a moment, and scarlet followed him, only to discover an empty plate. Shadow understood the nonverbal message.
With a slight nod, he accepted the bat's offer to leave the cafeteria after finishing their meals. Shadow immediately rose, not even looking at his plate, which was at least a quarter full and waited for his partner.
Rouge rose gracefully, silently passing the hedgehog before heading for the exit. Shadow sensed from her silence and the sparkle in her eyes that the treasure hunter longed for a serious conversation with him.
The Ultimate Lifeform couldn't help but notice that her calm and solemnity were fragile for some unknown reason. He let a slight worry lighten the scralet of his irises; even if he wasn't an expert on emotions, he could understand his partner without words.
- So... - she began with some uncertainty, as soon as Shadow closed the door behind them. She immediately gave him a nervous glance before she could continue. - Where did he go?
Shadow glanced at her, wondering if he should tell her Eclipse's exact destination. He trusted her, but he didn't think the darkling would want that, especially with his apparent heightened alertness. If he found out, he certainly wouldn't be pleased.
- He's not planning anything bad - he assured her.
Rouge looked at him, her ears pricked back a bit in quiet caution. Her gaze measured him warily, especially as she wrapped her wings around herself. Shadow was starting to worry about her -- what had she meant to say that had so affected her?
- Are you sure? - she asked doubtfully, and Shadow's heart sank painfully at the uncanny fear in her voice. His ears drooped as he considered the apparent reason for her sudden change in behavior.
- Yes - he confirmed, then lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in close to her. - I'll never forget how creepy his aura becomes before such acts.
- I know what it's like - Rouge whispered, her throat tight, and Shadow saw the urge to flee in her eyes. She desperately tried to hide her terror, but failed. She quickly turned her head away from Shadow as her sclera began to visibly glow.
The hedgehog felt a surge of regret strike his heart, as if an icy bullet had pierced his core. Was Rouge even mentioning that event? Shadow felt the urge to shift his weight and let his ears flatten against his skull, letting the bat know his grief. He really hadn't planned frightening her like that back then.
- Rouge, I...- he began, but his voice barely escaped the tightness in his throat. He reached out to place his hand on her shoulder, but she stopped him, blocking his incoming touch.
She looked at him with her anguished eyes, her chin quivering, revealing how hard she was trying to hold back tears. After a moment, however, she swallowed back the bitterness, and a seriousness filled her gaze. Shadow understood what she was trying to convey: not here, not now.
The pair were silent the entire way to the Team Dark office, and Shadow felt his muscles tense and his fur fluff with worry. He felt his suppressed tension melt away as he closed the door behind him and Rouge.
He wanted to apologize to her for scaring her, but something was blocking him. He didn't remember feeling...guilty about his incident, which had seemed right at the time. He never intended for her to see it though, but she found him anyway, at the worst possible moment. He didn't want her to think he didn't see how much pain he had caused her.
- So...what should I tell Eclipse? - he asked before he could stop himself.
"Coward" - he mentally chided himself as he realized he had only asked the question to delay the apology. He felt irritation wash over him -- he'd been putting off those words for months; he couldn't avoid them forever!
But he couldn't take back the words he had already spoken. Rouge looked at him in surprise, as if she hadn't expected the subject to change at all, but on the other hand, she seemed grateful. Her face then took on an unreadable expression, then she tilted her head slightly.
- What should I tell him to let him know he can confide in me and that I'm not his enemy? - Shadow clarified, and Rouge's eyes flashed with understanding.
The bat's brows furrowed slightly as she narrowed her eyes slightly and her ears folded back. Shadow thought she was simply lost in deep thought, but after a moment she shook her head and looked into his eyes, gripping her shoulders tightly.
- And what would help you in moments like these?
Her words made the hedgehog's ears twitch. Why couldn't his partner answer him, instead relying on him to find the answer himself? Shadow couldn't shake the feeling as if the treasure hunter was expertly circling the topic, trying not to delve too deeply into it. But why was she doing that? Was the pain forcing her to do so?
- Damn it, I... - he cursed, clutching his head. He had absolutely no idea what to say. - Chaos, I have no idea.
He had to admit he had trouble managing his emotions. He could have mental breakdowns despite his stoicism, but despite everything, he never knew how to calm himself, just waiting for his emotions to subside. That's why, right after the Eclipse accident, he had immediately called Rouge, internally begging for her help.
- I don't know... - he repeated once more. He took a deep breath, then looked at Rouge, fearing her reaction to his future words. - And how did you know what to do back then?
He still remembered how the bat, despite her own obvious panic, had been able to calm him down when he had tried to perform surgery on himself in the bathroom. He had no idea how she had managed to choose the perfect words he needed at that moment, and he was desperate to learn it from her.
Even though he had anticipated Rouge's reaction, she still somehow made his heart clench. Pain and a multitude of other emotions flashed in the bat's eyes that Shadow couldn't quite place. The strange weariness gleaming in the aquamarine told the hedgehog that the problem was much deeper than he had realized. Could it be that it wasn't just him?
- Rouge... - his baritone boomed once again without his knowledge, forcing him into an embarrassing improvisation. The bat looked at him expectantly, which didn't help, so he looked away to try and manage the pressure. - If you don't want to talk about it, I'll manage somehow; I am the Ultimate Life Form after all
Even though he was stressed, he was somehow incomprehensibly able to keep his voice steady. He hoped the lack of desperation in his voice and his calm would show Rouge that he would accept any answer she gave.
The bat's gaze softened for a moment, then clouded over with pain again. The bat sighed, closed her eyes briefly, and wrapped her wings around herself. When her eyelashes fluttered as her lids parted, Shadow realized she had prepared herself to speak.
- I can handle it - she said, then curled up tighter. - Let's say that...uh, I was preparing for this
Shadow tilted his head slightly, uncomprehending. He didn't think the bat would have been able to predict his accident; she wouldn't have been so terrified if she had. He couldn't think of any other explanation, so he waited in respectful silence for the bat to continue.
- I never told you about my past, and now you'll find out why. I...well, I didn't have an easy childhood. My mother was a teenager when she had me. Her parents cut off contact with her, but her brother stayed with her. I never knew my father very well. He was rarely home and he was a criminal. On one occasion, he rebelled and his accomplices were afraid he would spill the beans in court...they wanted to do something to me. My uncle fought them and...they killed him.
Rouge paused for a moment, looking down at the floor. Shadow could see from her body language that the topic was painful for her, but he didn't want to approach her, unsure if she would want him to. As he tried to subtly acknowledge her presence, she raised her eyes filled with pain, and continued.
- My mother... she was devastated, but I didn't know how much. I was just entering my teen years when she...committed suicide. The people at the center I was in until I became an adult didn't tell me about it at first - she raised her hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. - You know I saw her doing self-harm? Always in the bathroom, she'd send me away with a smile, as if nothing had happened. Only then did I understand.
Shadow's ears drooped as she finished her story. It was devastating to him, but it also explained why Rouge was avoiding the topic. He could see it in her eyes, even if she didn't dare admit it herself, that his accident had brought back terrible memories.
- Rouge, I…I'm sorry for what I did - he finally admitted, feeling a weight lift from his heart. He couldn't delay his apology any longer, especially not after what he had just heard.
Rouge looked at him in shock, her wings drooping, her eyebrows and ears pricked. She seemed touched, but after a moment, a reflection of Shadow's sadness appeared in her aquamarine eyes.
- Shadow, you don't have to…it wasn't… - she stammered, clearly lost in her words. When she realized she couldn't choose the right words, or had simply started badly, she moved toward Shadow and embraced him, nuzzling her nose into his ebony fur. - You're here with me now, that's the most important thing.
Shadow felt his pupils begin to twitch, and his ears pricked even further. He returned Rouge's embrace, touching his long nose to her shoulder. The hedgehog stood there with the bat for a few more moments, feeling the tension drain from both of them.
As soon as they let go, Shadow looked down for a moment, then back into Rouge's eyes.
- I'm sorry all this happened. If you want, I can help you deal with it, if you'd like - he offered, trying to hide his embarrassment and uncertainty.
To his relief, Rouge giggled heartily, warmth returning to her eyes, and a smile lighting up her face.
- I'll deal with it somehow, but thank you - she said, then reached into her outfit and pulled out a heart-shaped locket.
Before Shadow could ask why she was taking it out and what was inside, Rouge beat him to it. Inside was a photo of a white bat with wavy bangs, her hair was dyed pink at the ends and her eyes were a pinkish peach.
- This is my mother - Rouge declared, and Shadow nodded slightly.
- What's here? - he asked, moving his hand to the other half of the locket, now covered by the bat's finger.
Rouge giggled and blushed slightly, then gripped the locket differently to reveal the photo. Shadow's ears perked up as he saw selfie of the them and Omega.
- That's us - he drawled in shock.
Rouge looked at him proudly and tilted her head, as if to rest her head on his shoulder. Shadow felt warmth wash over him at the sight of her joy.
- You're my family, that's why you're here - she declared.
The hedgehog allowed a small smile to grace his face, but it only lasted a moment. His frown subsided after a moment as he remembered the true purpose of the conversation. How could he have almost forgotten his brother?
Rouge clearly noticed, as she put away the locket and gave him a worried look.
- As for Eclipse, you can't push him. Give him a quick message that you're here if he needs you, to make him feel more comfortable - she told him, and Shadow nodded gratefully and promised to try. After a moment, he left to find Eclipse.