Chapter Text
The small house was in shambles, not fit for anyone to remain in. Arthur doubted Merlin wanted to spend even one more second in it anyway, a painful reminder of the family that had been ripped from him. Gently, he and his knights coaxed Merlin away from the sight and back towards Gaius’ chambers.
Merlin was despondent the entire way, neither acknowledging what had just happened or the men helping him. Gaius directed Merlin to his old chambers, where the small cot still remained tucked away. After giving Merlin a sleeping draught, the physician returned to the anxious knights.
“What happened?” Gaius demanded, and just like earlier, it was up to Arthur to explain the manservant’s distress.
“Morgana,” Arthur began and Gaius’ eyes widened, “she was in his home. I can’t be sure exactly what happened, but I think she...she killed Freya. Her body just collapsed into water! Then, Morgana used some spell to transport out of the home, and she took Balinor with her. Before she vanished, Morgana called Merlin by some other name...”
Gaius ran a weary hand over his face. “Did she call him Emrys?”
“How could you know that?” Leon asked in turn, eyes widening, obviously surprised.
“I’m afraid I cannot tell you, for it is not my secret to share.”
“Is it something to do with his...powers?” Gwaine asked hesitantly, and it was Gaius’ turn to look surprised. “You can tell us, Gaius, we all just about figured it for ourselves.”
Gaius nodded. “Then I suppose the time for secrets is over. Emrys is the name the druids have for Merlin. Emrys is believed to be the most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth. He is prophesied to aid the Once and Future King in returning magic to the land,” he explained, but Arthur froze at the second title.
“I’ve heard of this Once and Future King in reference to myself, actually. Are you saying that I’m supposed to legalize magic with Merlin’s help?” Arthur asked, and let out an astonished breath as Gaius nodded.
“Indeed. I can also tell you that whatever you saw done to Freya, it did not kill her. You cannot kill that which is already dead. She has merely returned to her resting place, the Lake of Avalon.”
All of the men reeled at this. Freya was already dead? How could that have been possible, when less than a few months ago she had created a life? And then, at the mention of a lake, everything seemed to fall into place.
“The lake…” Elyan gasped, “the lake where we saw them?” They nodded at each other while Gaius glanced between them, clearly miffed at being out of the know for once. Arthur supposed that if Merlin was some powerful warlock of legend and had magical progeny, then it only made sense that he had some dead magical lake lady for a wife.
“We must journey to the lake at once and bring Freya back with us,” Arthur ordered, and the knights scrambled to follow his command.
If the past year had taught him anything, it was that Merlin had sacrificed much for Arthur, and had used his magic as a force for good in order to save Arthur and Camelot many times over.
Arthur did not deserve Merlin’s loyalty. If going after Merlin’s family even began to repay the great debt Arthur owed his greatest friend, he would do it a thousand times over.
Arthur was the last to leave the room. As he gazed up towards the sleeping body on the cot, he vowed that he would help Merlin bring his family home. “Good luck, my boy. It has truly been a privilege to watch you grow into the great king you are today,” Gaius offered, and Arthur returned his affections with a grim smile and a nod before exiting.
No one had forgotten the path to the lake. It seemed that the memory of such an odd scene had engraved itself in their memory, and for that Arthur was thankful.
“We know how to get Freya back, but what about Balinor? We’ve had no luck tracking Morgana since retaking the kingdom, surely now will be no different,” Percival reasoned, and Arthur dreaded to think about the implications of the statement.
“Once we have both Freya and Merlin back with us, we’ll find a way. If I know Merlin, he’ll stop at nothing to find the boy,” Arthur replied, trying to sound hopeful. It seemed to satiate the men for the moment.
The rest of the journey was spent in mostly tense silence, and the anxiety seemed to become only more palpable when they reached the lake. Arthur and the knights dismounted, cautiously approaching the shore.
“Freya?” Gwaine called out across the waters, jumping back a little when it started to ripple and bubble furiously. Arthur felt his jaw slacken at the sight.
A figure emerged from within the lake. It only took a moment to identify it as Freya, looking both powerful and angry . The woman walked across the water to meet them, and Arthur was surprised by her appearance. Despite all that had just happened, she looked healthier than she had in the past months. The bags under her eyes from sleepless nights were gone, and the weight left behind from carrying a child had vanished. It was as if the lake water had restored her.
Around him, the men were also gaping. Freya’s expression calmed when she stood directly across from them. “Thank you for coming. Although I am free to leave the lake’s borders, I must first be summoned.”
The men continued to gape. “If you’re dead, then how...how are you here?” Arthur asked. “Why do you have to be summoned from some sort of lake?!”
Freya managed a smile. “Merlin saved me,” she sighed fondly. “I was dying and he brought me here. He laid my body to rest on this very lake. Merlin didn’t know, however, that it was a gateway to the afterlife, and it needed a guardian. I was brought back to watch over it, and given leave to be with my husband,” Freya explained, gazing out over the lake.
“Why were you sent back here now? How did you die?” Arthur continued.
“Morgana’s spell was meant to kill, but I am not quite alive. I was sent back to the lake to be healed. As for your second question, I was killed by you, Arthur Pendragon,” Freya replied, and despite the damning words, she seemed calm, not resentful.
Arthur’s knights turned their eyes on the king, obviously demanding some sort of explanation, but he had nothing to offer them. “I don’t even remember meeting you before this year! How can I have killed you?!” He demanded, shocked at the accusation.
“You may not remember doing it, but you will remember why you did it. I was cursed to turn into a bastet every night, forced to kill. I hated it. Merlin rescued me from bounty hunters, but he did not know the truth until it was too late. I changed and came across you in the citadel one night in the beast’s form, and you dealt me a mortal blow,” Freya offered, and she must have seen the horrified look on his face because the woman began to smile. What she said next surprised him even more.
“Fret not. I do not blame you, nor does my husband. In fact, we thank you. You freed me from my curse, and gave Merlin and I a chance to be together!”
Arthur scrambled to say something, offer an apology anyway, but she cut him off. “Leave it, Arthur,” Freya smiled wryly, before tensing. “We do not have time to waste. I can sense Balinor’s distress, even now… Where is my husband?”
After informing her of Merlin’s whereabouts, they hurried back to Camelot. Tension hung heavily in the air, and once more no one spoke as they galloped at breakneck speeds.
Merlin was awake when they returned, but he was still despondent, staring emptily at the wall. He didn’t even notice Arthur’s presence, let alone Freya’s. They watched uneasily as the woman approached her husband.
“Merlin?” Freya called tentatively. He did not react. She knelt carefully before him, moving her hand to caress his cheek. Merlin sighed, leaning into the touch.
“Freya…” Merlin whispered, voice hoarse from screaming. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief while Merlin smiled remorsefully. He leaned forward and drew her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair.
When they broke apart, both of their eyes were misty, but no one commented on it. Merlin stood up, looking stronger than he had earlier as if he was drawing on Freya’s newfound strength. It was plausible with everything else going on, at any rate. “We’re going to get Balinor back,” he said to his wife, suddenly determined. “I’ll need your help trying to track Morgana. Let’s go back to the house and see what we can find,” Merlin offered, glancing warily at the rest of the men.
Ah. Arthur had forgotten that Merlin was unaware they knew.
Freya made to do as he said, but Merlin stayed behind for a moment, staring resolutely at Arthur. “Thank you for bringing her back to me,” he spoke softly. “I suppose you know about the lake, then?” Arthur nodded. “And you’re fine with it?” Merlin sounded surprised but looked even more so when Arthur nodded again.
“You’re a good friend, Arthur. You should go see Gwen, make sure she wasn’t caught up in all of this,” Merlin waved noncommittally. “And thank you all for your help, too. I won’t ask you to get involved further,” he said, directed towards all of them.
“Merlin,” Gwaine growled, almost angrily. “If you think I’m not helping you get your son back, you’ve got something else coming,” he threatened. Merlin looked at the knight, clearly surprised.
“I wish to help as well,” Percival piped up, “besides, Balinor is rather adorable.”
“And I,” Elyan said, offering Merlin a fond smile.
Merlin’s shocked gaze, which had landed on Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan, moved to Leon as he too spoke up. “You’re a good man, Merlin. I’m at your service.”
And then it was Arthur’s turn.
“You’ve done so much for me, Merlin, been my friend for so long. Did you really think I would turn my back on you now?”
Arthur placed a firm, comforting hand on Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin clasped his arm in return, nodding and giving him a smile. Nothing else needed to be said between the men at that moment.
“You are right, however, that I should check on Guinevere. While I’m doing that, I want you men to ready for a journey. We don’t know how long we’ll be gone or how far we’re going, so be prepared. Merlin, go see what you can find.”
Guinevere was already resting in bed by the time he saw her. The sun was going down, and his wife was getting more tired each day they came closer to the arrival of their child. “Hello, Arthur!” She smiled sweetly, setting down her book and indicated for her to sit on the empty space beside her.
“Good evening, Guinevere,” Arthur began, “you’re feeling well? Nothing...terrible happened to you today?”
“Goodness, no! I’m fine,” Guinevere laughed, but trailed off when she noticed his pained expression. “Arthur… what’s happened?” She asked, worry in her voice.
Arthur sighed, dreading her reaction to the news. “Morgana entered the citadel today… She left shortly after we discovered her, but she’s taken Balinor.” He tensed, awaiting her reply.
“ What?! ” Guinevere exclaimed. “She’s truly taken Balinor? What of Merlin and Freya? Are they alright?”
Arthur nodded. “It’s true. Merlin and Freya are fine. They’ve just gone back to your old house to see if Morgana left any clue of where she might have taken him. No matter what they find, we ride tomorrow to search for him.”
“Good. Knowing you and Merlin, you’ll both stop at nothing to see him returned safely home,” she affirmed, running a soft hand over his own. Arthur sighed and nodded before readying himself for bed, desperate to be close to his own wife and child.
-
When morning came, Merlin was there to wake them. The manservant feigned cheeriness, but while he set out the meal and prepared things for the journey, Arthur could see the fear behind the mask. Merlin couldn’t stop glancing down at his chest, as if he expected to see little Balinor strapped there as he had only been a day prior. The absence of the child and his little mannerisms made the chambers feel cold and lifeless.
“Merlin, you really don’t have to be the one attending us today. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you,” Guinevere tried to coax.
“It’s alright, Gwen, really. It’s helping me take my mind off the situation if anything. I need that familiarity right now,” Merlin shrugged before placing a plate in front of the queen. When he began to pull away, Guinevere grabbed his hand and gave it a tight, reassuring squeeze.
Later when Merlin helped Arthur into his armor, he informed the king that he and Freya had come across something in their home, and they believed that Morgana had taken Balinor to the Isle of the Blessed. The information gave Arthur a little bit more confidence about the journey, knowing they wouldn’t be going in blind.
Freya and Guinevere were both there to see them off. Arthur pressed a kiss to his wife’s forehead and bid her farewell before walking over to Merlin and Freya, who were saying their own goodbyes. When Merlin was finished, Arthur turned to the petite woman (who despite being small was rather powerful, he now knew).
“We’ll find him, I promise you,” Arthur vowed. Freya nodded in thanks, seeming not to trust herself to speak. The woman moved to go stand by Guinevere’s side, sending a lasting and sincere look at Merlin.
The men mounted their horses, which all seemed to be cantering uneasily. Arthur spurred his horse ahead, glad to be getting out of the citadel. He hoped that the next time he saw it, Balinor would be returned to them.
Merlin rode beside him, glancing occasionally back at the space behind him, looking almost guilty. Arthur looked over his shoulder, trying to see if anything was out of the ordinary. Nothing seemed out of place, but Merlin looked back yet again. “What’s on your mind?” He finally asked.
Merlin looked at Arthur, eyes narrowed. “Are you sure you want to accompany me? There’s still time for you to turn back.” Arthur tilted his head, surprised at the statement.
“I’m accompanying you whether you like it or not, Merlin. I’m sure all these men would agree with me,” Arthur said firmly, staring Merlin down.
“You don’t owe me anything, you know,” Merlin continued to press. Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin’s train of thought.
“I don’t do this because I owe you. I do this because I care about you, you idiot! Your son, too. This has nothing to do with whatever debts I may have to repay. You matter, Merlin. Never think otherwise,” Arthur stressed, not noticing or caring that the knights had quieted to tune into their conversation.
“You really mean that?” Merlin questioned, eyes full of awe and hope.
“I do.”
Arthur didn’t let the conversation go much further. He didn’t need or even want to hear Merlin continue to doubt himself and his own importance. The king regretted ever having called Merlin a coward and so many other names. If anything, Merlin was the bravest man he’d ever met.
However, if Merlin continued his self-sacrificing and putting others happiness before his own, perhaps he really was an idiot.
Gwaine, having sensed that Merlin needed his mind occupied on something other than worry for his son, tried to change the subject. “So Merlin, this wife of yours… Why don’t you tell us more of how you managed to convince a magical lake goddess to fall for you?” The rogue asked, grinning cheekily when Merlin choked on air.
“I should of figured you all knew the truth when you were the ones to retrieve her from the lake,” Merlin scoffed, “I was out of it yesterday, the thought barely even crossed my mind. You’ll want the whole story I suppose?”
“Aye,” Gwaine replied, laughing. Around him, the other knights seemed curious about the secret love story.
“Some of what I told you when I introduced you to her was the truth, but just...not all of it. We met in Camelot, that much is true. I had only worked for Arthur for a little over a year at the time. I was finishing up my rounds with Gaius one night, and on our way back to the castle I saw her…” Merlin began, but his voice sounded sad.
“She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, but she was so afraid. A man, Halig I believe his name was, had captured her. He’d planned to offer her in return for the bounty King Uther offered for the capture of a druid,” Merlin paused here to gauge their reactions at the news of his beloved being a druid. When no one showed any sign of hostility or anger, he continued.
“There was nothing I could do then, but later that night I snuck out and freed her from her cage. I hid her away in the tunnels as long as I could, bringing her food from Arthur’s plate,” Merlin continued, though he stopped to laugh at the last bit. “I don’t know if you remember that, Arthur, but you were quite indignant about your sausages!”
“Why, you-!” Arthur spluttered angrily. “I knew there had been more food there! You said it was part of some new diet to keep me from getting fat!” The knights could not contain their raucous laughter, and Arthur’s cheeks colored when he remembered they had an audience.
When the knights managed to reign themselves in, Merlin soldiered on with the tale. “I felt I could truly be myself around her. I don’t know, it sounds silly out loud…”
“No, it’s not. Don’t stop, Merlin,” Leon smiled, and Merlin took a breath.
“I fell in love with her, I suppose. I didn’t know that she was cursed, though. A long time ago, a man attacked her. She defended herself, but in doing so Freya killed the man. His mother later sought her out and cursed her to kill forevermore for what she did to her son. Every night, against her will she turned into a bastet and killed,” Merlin explained but seemed surprised when no one was too shocked by the news.
“I suppose you already knew that bit too, then. Well, before I knew all that, we had planned to leave Camelot, and run away together.”
“ What?!” Arthur shouted in horror. “You were really just going to run away?” He couldn’t believe it. Percival, Elyan, and Leon seemed to share his disbelief, but Gwaine seemed oddly pleased at the news, saying something about how he knew Merlin had it in him all along…
“I...I suppose?” Merlin defended himself, clearly not having expected Arthur’s loud reaction. “I mean, we were in love! I wanted to be with her, but it wasn’t possible in Camelot, at least not under Uther’s reign. We were going to live somewhere with a lake, and mountains,” here, Merlin smiled sadly, “but she didn’t want me to throw away my life.”
“I decided to sneak her out disguised as a noblewoman. When I tried to leave with one of Morgana’s dresses, you lot thought I was cross-dressing,” Merlin grumbled, and Elyan barked out a laugh.
“Freya ran off while I was preparing, and by the time I had returned, it was too late. I took her to the lake of Avalon, so she could see the beautiful waters and mountains one last time. She...she died, and I buried her there.”
“Little did I know that she would be chosen as the Lady of the Lake,” Merlin laughed, “I found out when you lot were knighted. She reached out to me, told me about the Cup of Life and it’s consequences. Later, when it was all settled, I went to the lake and we were married in Avalon. When it was discovered that she was with child…” Merlin choked up, having reminded himself of his son’s fate, but he managed to finish the tale.
“Well, the Sidhe gave her leave of the Lake when they found out. I believe you’re all caught up, then,” Merlin finished, spurring his horse forward to be at the front of the group where no one could ask him anything else. Arthur and the knights slowed their own pace, wanting to give the man his space.
Looking back on the tale, it seemed like there were some parts missing. Merlin must have still been under the impression that they didn’t know the truth and edited out some of the more damning bits of the story.
“Everything I learn about that man just makes my respect for him grow,” Gwaine huffed, both in awe of and displeased at the sacrifices Merlin had made for them. Arthur had to agree. His friend needn’t have suffered like that, but time and time again he placed others before himself.
Now, at least, they could attempt to be there for Merlin like he’d been there for them.
In retrospect, Arthur hadn’t been much of a friend. Sure, he’d usually been able to pick up on when Merlin was down (his interaction with the manservant around the time the bastet had been killed made a lot more sense now), but emotions usually had him running in the opposite direction.
His wife, Guinevere, had been the only one to successfully break down that barrier. Arthur didn’t have a choice but to face his feelings for her. It was a lot easier to hide behind the playful jabs that came along with Merlin’s friendship.
Arthur had just never expected Merlin to be hiding behind the familiar banter as well.
How could Arthur blame him? Merlin was living in fear for his life every day. His closest friends just happened to also be his worst enemies. In the fight against magic, no one had shown themselves to be someone Merlin could confide in. The manservant had lost so much to Arthur’s family. Merlin’s father to Uther, his wife to Arthur, and now his son to Morgana. Why had Merlin stuck by him so faithfully?
-
As the group approached the Isle of the Blessed, Merlin seemed to grow more uncomfortable. His shoulders tensed and his eyes were devoid of the light that made him Merlin. The manservant’s grip on the reins if his horse was so tight that his knuckles were turning white.
Arthur felt some of the unease wash over him as well. Not only was the Isle where they would save or lose Balinor, but it was also where Lancelot made his fateful sacrifice.
Arthur had later learned that both Lancelot and Guinevere were enchanted during their little risque rendezvous. It gave him some solace about the noble man he once knew. It hadn’t destroyed all that Lancelot died for.
Gwaine took a swig from a bladder of ale that he’d managed to bring along. Leon looked on enviously. “Give it here,” he ordered, gesturing impatiently before taking a swig himself. Soon enough the skin had made its way around the group (all except Merlin, that is). Arthur felt some of the tension leave his own shoulders as the ale gave him a buzz.
Once they reached the water, Arthur and the men had to dismount and leave their horses behind. A lone boat sat on the water, the tiny waves lapping at its side, and once they had all clambered inside it seemed to move of its own accord. It probably had something to do with Merlin, though, as everything seemed to these days.
No matter what was moving the boat, it was still a little unnerving. Arthur was relieved when the little trip was over and his feet were back on solid ground. However, the feeling didn’t last for long. Soon the air became charged with...something. It made his hair stand on end gave him goose skin.
“Morgana,” Merlin growled as they entered some sort of old courtyard. Indeed, the witch was there, standing over an entirely too still and pale Balinor laid out on an alter. Arthur’s heart dropped. Had they been too late?
Merlin took in the state of his son around the same time as the other knights did. Arthur watched, devastated, as Merlin’s hands began to tremble and his lips quivered. Despite this, the manservant remained standing, the look in his eyes hardening as it turned back to Morgana.
“You will regret ever hurting him,” Merlin warned, voice thick with emotion. Morgana merely laughed.
“Oh, Emrys, you know so little,” she teased, and Merlin flinched at the mention of that name. “My visions revealed this to me. The child’s power, there is so much of it! My, my, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it? Emrys! ” Morgana spat the title like an insult.
“My visions showed me the truth about you. When I heard you’d had a child, I knew he’d be useful. His powers are mine now, and I will use what is left of him to destroy you!” The sky darkened, and suddenly it was hard to breathe. Arthur began to gasp, trying to draw in a breath that wouldn’t come. Around him, the knights seemed to fight the same battle. Merlin was the only one of them that didn’t seem to have a problem.
“His name was Balinor! He was just a child! ” Merlin roared, going to charge at the woman, but Arthur barely managed to hold him back, still choking for air. Despite his imminent suffocation, Arthur worried what Merlin’s brashness to cost him.
When Arthur’s hand had caught Merlin, it was like the man had remembered they were also present. He took in their state, eyes widening as they fell to their knees, clawing at their throats. Morgana smiled gleefully.
“What’ll it be Emrys? Reveal yourself and save them, dooming yourself, or condemn your precious king to the same fate you doomed me to all those years ago? Asphyxiation, whether it be by magic or poison, is an awful way to go!” Arthur dimly wondered what Morgana meant by that, but he was struggling to keep coherent thought. The little amounts of air he was managing to get wasn’t enough.
“I don’t care what Arthur does to me, as long as you’re dead when he does it,” Merlin replied, voice low and dangerous. Arthur struggled to keep his eyes open. Merlin turned around for a moment, looking remorseful. “I’m sorry it had to end like this…”
The sky flashed purples and reds as the two fought. Arthur fell in and out of consciousness as the battle raged on, only glimpsing and hearing bits and pieces of it.
“Ástríce!” Merlin called, and Morgana shrieked, the sound followed by a sickening crunch as she was thrown into a wall.
“Hleap on bæc!” This time it was Morgana who cast the spell, but Merlin threw up some sort of shield to protect himself. He fought harder to stay awake, but every breath he struggled more.
“Forbærne! Ácwele!” Morgana yelled once more, and this time Merlin cried out in pain as a ball of fire hit his arm. Arthur’s eyes fluttered closed, though he fought valiantly to open them again. Merlin called out something, and Arthur felt the sword in his sheath being pulled out.
“I am a high priestess! None of your little tricks can kill me!” Morgana laughed at the sight of what must have been Merlin wielding Excalibur .
“Funny, that’s… Nimeuh thought before… killed her,” Merlin’s voice faded in and out, Arthur struggling to hear over the sound of his own heart beating furiously, trying to keep him alive.
“You… Nimueh? No matter… I… more… than her! No mortal blade-” Arthur fought to hear Morgana’s response, but it wasn’t his heartbeat that overpowered her words. Suddenly Arthur could breathe , and now Morgana was the one choking for air.
Arthur dimly made out Merlin standing over Morgana’s prone form, Excalibur buried in her abdomen, while he gasped hungrily at the air. Percival clambered to his feet first, and the others followed, albeit unsteadily.
“Goodbye, Morgana,” Merlin whispered, emotionless as he pulled the blade free. As Morgana’s life faded from her, the manservant, no warlock (no denying it now that he had seen Merlin using his power) began to chant desperately over her, not even pausing for air.
When nothing happened, Merlin fell to his knees next to Morgana’s corpse. “Merlin…” Arthur started softly, going towards the man.
“ No ! Why didn’t it work?!” Merlin cried out, eyes flashing gold as the sky began to pour. Merlin knelt, crying, and Arthur glanced at his men, wondering what to do.
Suddenly, a babe’s wail could be heard over the thunder. Merlin sprung to his feet, eyes widening as he ran to Balinor. Arthur watched, gobsmacked, as Merlin cradled his son to his chest.
“Shh, shh, Papa’s here,” Merlin muttered comfortingly, still crying himself. “No one’s ever going to hurt you again…”
“Freya!” Merlin called wildly to the wind, and when things already couldn't get any weirder, the woman emerged from a growing puddle on the ground. They all watched on as the small family had a tearful reunion. The parents cradled Balinor between them, crying onto each other’s shoulders.
“But… he was dead?” Elyan asked, voice rising an octave in shock. Arthur merely shrugged in reply, just as confused as the rest of them.
Merlin eventually parted from Freya and Balinor to talk to the knights. He heaved a great sigh, somehow managing to look terribly relieved and worried at the same time. “So, you… know,” he began weakly.
“Yes, we knew,” Arthur replied.
“I always wanted to tell you, I promise! There’s no good excuse, and I’m so sorry. I...I understand if you hate me, but I use it for you, Arthur! Only for you- wait, what do you mean you knew ?” Merlin rambled, before cutting himself off, looking at the group with wide eyes.
“As in past tense, Merlin,” Gwaine laughed while Arthur rolled his eyes.
“What he means to say,” here, Arthur glared at Gwaine, “is that we figured it out on our own. Everything this past year just...added up. The only reasonable explanation had to be magic.”
“You knew ?! You clotpole, why didn’t you tell me?” Merlin demanded, exasperated. “You aren’t going to execute me, right?!”
“Of course not!” Arthur exclaimed, aghast that Merlin even had to ask. “After everything, I’ve learned that magic isn’t all so black and white. That maybe it’s the wielder and not the tool.”
“Oh, good,” Merlin exhaled, “and how’d you figure that out? You can barely dress yourself,” he raised an amused eyebrow.
“I might have seen Balinor use his powers while you were missing a few weeks ago?” Arthur answered, but it sounded more like a question. Merlin laughed good-naturedly.
“Oh yeah, that. We figured that out ages ago! Apparently, I was the same at his age.”
“Speaking of Balinor and powers, what did Morgana want with them? How is Balinor still alive? We all thought…” Leon trailed off, not wanting to voice it out loud. Merlin’s expression darkened.
Still sporting some drying tear tracks, Merlin glanced over his shoulder to where Freya cooed softly at Balinor, who seemed to have calmed down a little. “Balinor, being the son of Emrys and the Lady of the Lake, has great power. Morgana believed if she took it from him for herself, it would be enough to kill me. And you’re right...the process did k-kill Balinor.
“When Morgana was dying, I traded her life force for that of my son’s. I’ve done it before, when the first questing beast incident took place,” Merlin looked pointedly at all of them, reminding them of the certain revelation they’d had a few months ago.
“He should be fine, eventually. I wanted to know if you were mad about the whole secretly-being-a-warlock thing before I told you all, though,” Merlin wrung his hands anxiously.
“Told us what?” Percival asked, leaning forward.
“Well, Balinor is going to be alright, but he’s not right now. Freya and I are going to take him to the lake, watch over him a bit. Make sure Morgana didn’t corrupt his magic, things like that. We can’t really do that back in Camelot… Besides, with his connection to lake Avalon, it’ll help speed along with his healing,” Merlin explained, looking a little guilty about leaving all of them.
“O-oh,” Arthur replied, unsure of what to say.
“I’ll miss you, all of you, but we’ll see each other again soon. And hey! You know where we’ll be, don’t be strangers!” Merlin put on a smile, and the rest of them choked out goodbyes, promising to visit.
They watched as Merlin and his family disappeared into the water (that must have been one of Freya’s abilities he supposed) and silently mounted their horses. They couldn’t help but feel a little sad as they journeyed back to Camelot, one member short.
-
True to their word, Arthur and his knights had visited Merlin, Freya, and Balinor every few weeks. Guinevere had made the journey with them in the beginning until her pregnancy had prevented her from doing so.
It wasn’t all so bad, though. Freya had explained that they could communicate with water and that those in Camelot could get her attention by calling her name to a source of water. It was nice to chat with Merlin in the evenings in the privacy of his chambers, and it (sort of) made up for their lack of banter throughout the day.
They had never failed to answer a summons. That is, until today. Arthur paced through the halls anxiously, practically screaming Freya’s name into a goblet of water in his hands (that had garnered him a few strange looks).
Guinevere had gone into labor, and she hadn’t wanted her best friend to not be there with them. Arthur, who hadn’t wanted to let his poor wife down, had tried to see if Merlin could make it to the castle, but no one answered his summons.
Arthur ending his pacing outside of his bedchambers, where Guinevere’s pained shouts echoed. “Any news?” He asked the men sitting on the floor outside.
“None,” Elyan shook his head grimly. Arthur sighed. He’d hoped that it was almost over. The king hated seeing (or rather, hearing. He didn’t really care to see everything going on inside) his wife in pain.
“What about on your end? Did Merlin answer?” Leon piped up.
“The idiot won’t answer!” Arthur practically growled, furious that his manservant had chosen today of all days to not answer.
“Hey, who are you calling an idiot?” A voice called from behind him, and Gwaine cheered from his place on the floor.
“Merlin?” Arthur turned around, shocked to see the man in question there with his wife and (significantly bigger than the last time he’d seen him) son.
“You didn’t think we’d miss this, did you?”
“Yes, actually, I did! Why weren’t you answering?!” Arthur huffed, hiding a smile, and Merlin rolled his eyes.
“Excuse us for trying to get here as fast as we could,” Merlin replied, but he too was suppressing a smile. “It’s good to see you. How’s Gwen?”
The reunions continued and they informed the couple of Gwen’s state. When Balinor began to kick and cry out, Merlin absentmindedly set him down, not breaking the conversation.
Arthur, however, couldn’t help but stop mid-sentence when something tugged at the hem of his trousers. Glancing down, Arthur’s eyes widened at the sight of Balinor, who had crawled over, looking up at him expectantly. “What do I do?” Arthur asked, looking frantically between the two parents.
“Pick him up, obviously. He doesn’t bite,” Merlin laughed, but then narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “Well, I mean he does, occasionally, but you get what I mean.”
Arthur hesitantly leaned down and picked the child up. It had been a while since he’d held the boy. Balinor was still afraid of anyone touching him but his parents the last time Arthur had seen him (a side effect of Morgana’s torment), but it seemed he was over it.
“We were actually already on our way when we heard about Gwen. Balinor’s finally ready to be back. Isn’t it great?” Merlin smiled.
The conversation resumed and continued for a long while since the group had lots to catch up on. It only paused when one of the midwives assisting Gaius popped out to give them an update. The next time the door opened, however, it was Gaius himself.
“She’s ready to see you,” was all Gaius said, his eyes glinting amusedly. Arthur set Balinor down before dashing into the room.
“Guinevere?” Arthur asked hesitantly.
“We’ve got a girl, Arthur,” Guinevere whispered softly, eyes never leaving the little bundle in her arms. Arthur sat gently on the bed, gazing at his wife in awe.
“A daughter?” Arthur asked, voice wrought with emotion. Guinevere looked at him with a bright smile, nodding. He turned to look at his daughter .
The little girl’s skin was fairer than Guinevere’s but darker than Arthur’s. Dark curls rested atop her head, and her lips were pink and soft. Her tiny hand was curled up and resting on her cheek. “She’s gorgeous…”
“She’s sleeping now, but earlier I saw her eyes. They look just like yours,” Guinevere informed him, and his heart swelled with love at the thought of them. “I know we didn’t really talk about names if it was a girl, but I’ve always had one in mind…”
Arthur looked at her expectantly. “What about Ygraine?” She offered, and Arthur had to squeeze his eyes shut to fight off tears.
“It’s perfect,” he whispered.
Later, they introduced little Ygraine to the family that awaited outside. One by one they’d gotten to hold her, and Arthur swelled with pride every time someone complimented his little girl.
When Ygraine had been returned to her mother, Balinor became fussy, demanding without words to be put down, and Freya complied. What happened next, though, surprised them all.
Balinor grabbed onto the bed frame, pulled himself up, and took a hesitant step towards the sleeping girl. Merlin gasped, and Arthur heard Freya cry something about first steps. Balinor took another step towards Ygraine, and Guinevere angled her arms so that the young boy could see the babe.
Balinor pressed a little kiss to Ygraine’s forehead, then turned back to Freya and Merlin, beaming proudly. He tried to take another step and promptly fell on his tush, but he didn’t seem to mind. Merlin rushed over, picking the boy up in his arms and spinning him around.
“My big boy! I’m so proud of you!” Merlin told him affectionately, and Balinor laughed. Arthur watched on happily, hoping for the day when he could see Ygraine take her own first steps. That would be some time yet.
-
Just a few months after Princess Ygraine’s birth, magic was legalized. The castle had been abuzz for days with preparations for a great feast, and both new families were looking forward to the celebrations. Arthur, having decided to celebrate the little boy who had put everything in motion, had chosen to officially legalize magic on Balinor’s first birthday.
It was funny how everything he knew to be true about magic hinged on the little boy. If he had not been born, then Arthur would likely have never learned that the evil it was not magic itself, but the wielder. Merlin would likely have had no reason to come forward either (though he hoped that Merlin would have had enough faith in him someday to do so), but now it didn’t matter. Perhaps this all had been for the best.
When Arthur welcomed everyone to the feast, announcing the legalization of magic, telling stories of all the good magic had done for Camelot in the past few years, and naming Merlin the official Court Warlock, he was met with raucous applause.
Guinevere had brought Ygraine for the opening remarks of the feast, but she would most definitely be in the nursery before the night was over. It was likely Balinor wouldn’t be able to stay the full night either. Arthur was just glad they were both there for such a momentous occasion (though neither would remember).
Looking out over the cheering crowd, and back again at his family (which he was finally willing to admit included Merlin), he couldn’t help the joy that he felt. Merlin was free to be who he was, Balinor could grow up without fear of who he was, and Arthur had a wife and daughter to love. They were unlike any family he’d ever known, but they were his. Arthur wouldn’t trade it for the world.