Chapter Text
“heya techno,” phil said, gently ruffling her hair. “what’s up? you’re never up this early.”
well, my anxiety kept me up all night because i want to tell you that i actually am a girl but i am terrified that you won’t understand and disown me and i’m not scared you’ll send me back but i am scared that- that you might consider it and that i might mess up a relationship so crucial and so important to me just by telling you but of course she couldn’t say any of that, so she settled on “just wanted to talk to you.”
phil brightened. “oh! about anything in particular?”
what’s your opinion on trans people and the lgbtq+ community and if i come out will i be accepted and do you have any name ideas because i’m leanin too close to one in particular and i don’t want to use it but i really also really do and- “uh... sort of?”
“well, go ahead and ask then! you can ask me about anything, tech.”
don’t.
“uh- this may seem out of the blue but i’ve been-“ lie. “i’ve been workin’ on my stories, right?”
phil nodded and with a breath of relief she continued. “well- i’ve been strugglin’ to name this girl in them. do you, uh, do you have any ideas?”
he hummed and took a sip from the coffee in his hands. “what’s she like?”
how do i describe myself like this? “she’s- smart, i guess, but she doesn’t really think she is? and she has adhd, like me, but not as severely and- y’know. different than mine. she also does fencin’ and is kinda a- she’s a bit of a nerd.”
”she sounds a lot like you, then.”
”well- well she has to, for the part i want her to play in the plot- i didn’t mean to make her sound like me it just sort of happened y’know?
“techno.” she flinched. “i know what’s going on here.”
she gulped. “you- you do?”
”there’s no need to be nervous, okay? you’re alright.” oh. okay.
“y-yeah. okay. i just- i’ve asked wilbur about this too and he didn’t have any good ideas either-“ lies, lies ”so i just felt a bit of, a bit of ye ole anxiety. y’know?”
“techno. tech. t. honey, it’s okay to ask for help on things like this, alright?” phil reached over and put a hand on her shoulder. “you’re okay, there’s no need to get worked up.”
she shakily nodded. “i- i know.”
he smiled. “if i were to name her-“ oh right her cover story oh shoot- “i wouldn’t be able to pick.”
“oh. well, if you- if you’d had a daughter, like, your own biological daughter, and you got to pick her name, what would it be?”
phil hummed and took another sip from his coffee that she had actually forgotten about. “i hope i don’t need to repeat the ‘you’re my son”- she cringed- “too, even though i adopted you’ speech.”
”no need,” she said, her voice shakier than she would’ve liked it to be.
”well, i would probably name my daughter penelope.”
she sputters. “heh!?” what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fu
“wilbur.” she marched up to her brother’s door and threw it open. “wilbur you’re not goin’ to-“ she cut herself off, staring at her brother who was playing his guitar so gently that it threw her off. he was on his bed, body practically curled around the instrument in his arms, cradling it as he strummed along to the beat in his head. she smiled and leaned against the doorframe, closing her eyes to listen to his strings as he plucked them.
a few minutes passed before wilbur stopped playing and she opened her eyes. “new song?”
wilbur startled slightly, turning towards the door quickly. “how long have you been there?”
she giggled. “only a few minutes, wil, calm down. can i come in?”
he nodded and scooted over on his bed, patting the spot next to him for her to sit down. she made her way over and sat, leaning against her brother. “what’s this one about?”
”i’m not sure yeah, honestly.”
she hummed. “sounds nice.” he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned in further, and they stayed there for a few minutes, warm and content.
”whaddya even come up here for?”
”oh i can’t remember.”
”okay.” she folded her hands across her lap, fingers laced together. “the council has been summoned. operation: philza minecraft.”
eret sighed and audibly rolled their eyes. “i still don’t understand why you lot named your father after a video game.”
tommy shushed them with a quick “never question me” and she smiled.
“you all know why we’re here. the plan is simple: i go to phil. i say ‘phil, i’m a girl.’ and that’s it.”
wilbur clapped and tommy joined in. “simple, big t. easy. problem solved. now can i please leave.”
”no,” she and eret said in unison.
“no,” she repeated. “it can never be that simple, wilbur soot, you are well aware of who you’re speakin’ to.”
wilbur rolled his eyes and flopped more on her bed. “plans to come out?”
”plans to come out. any of the council have any ideas?”
tommy raised his hand.
”i am not telling him that i am a ‘big pog woman’ and therefore superior.”
tommy put his hand down.
”does anyone else have ideas?”
wilbur shook his head and eret said “sorry, i really don’t.” she sighed.
”if we don’t get creative about it it’ll just be a ‘hey dad i’m a girl. pog’ and we’ll hopefully move on. does that sound pleasing to any of you?”
“well it would be over quick then, wouldn’t it?” wilbur said, still flopped nearly face-first.
tommy grinned. “easy peasy, blade!” she rolled her eyes.
”eret? anything you’ve got?”
they frowned. “i really don’t, i’m sorry. you could be subtle about it, or like- wear something with trans pride? i really don’t know, t.”
she groaned and put her face into her hands. “you guys are the actual worst.”
she could hear the cheekiness of his smile when tommy said “you love us!”
and then she could hear his overflowing laughter as she flipped him off.
review of the plan:
step one: come out to yourself as trans. [x]
step two: come out to eret as trans. [x]
step three: come out to wilbur as trans. [x]
step four: come out to tommy as trans. [x]
step five: come out to philza minecraft. [ ]
easy. so easy. in fact it was so easy it was like it was already done. it was so easy it was like she could just go ahead and check it off now because it would be so easy. so easy!
damn her anxiety.
phil had pulled her aside after he sent her brothers up and away over the weekend, bring her into the kitchen where he gave her a bowl of ice cream and directed her to the couch.
which all would be strange enough if it wasn’t for the fact that he was so gentle and so careful as to not disturb her? her dad was honestly just being so kind and she was confused as to why because she hadn’t had a rough day in a while and this was ‘rough day’ treatment and that was different did he know something did she do something bad or forget something but did he know
”before you get all up in your head about this, i just wanted to clarify that you’re not in trouble.” oh. that was good.
she tilted her head, confused. “i’m not??”
phil nodded in confirmation. “you’re not.”
she would’ve placed down the ice cream if it wasn’t so good. “then why- what’s going on then?”
”you’ve just seemed so off for the past... i don’t know, tech, at least a month. it’s all coming to a head recently and you might not be aware of it but i can see how nervous you are.” oh. oh he knew.
”i’m alright, dad, i promise-“ this time she did try to put the ice cream down, to try and turn to face him but he pulled her into a hug before she could. “dad?”
”techno, you can tell me anything. you don’t have to lie or sneak or whatever you’re doing that’s got you so riled up, okay? you’ll still be my son“ no “you’ll always be my son” no “and nothing you can do will ever change that.” no!
she pushed herself into phil’s arms and let the tears that had been building in the back of her throat for over a month out.
“techno, what’s wrong?”
she groaned and pushed herself further into her dad’s chest, listening to his heartbeat pound.
”tech...”
”i don’t want to be your son,” she mumbled, the words lost on his wet shirt.
“what?”
”i don’t- i’m not- your son.”
”oh, techno, sure you are-“
”no, no no you don’t, you don’t understand-“ she pushed herself back and looked at phil, unable to meet his eyes but at least looking at his face. “i’m your daughter.”
phil’s face melted. “oh- oh- oh tec- is that name still...”
”t,” she managed to mumble. “haven’t got a name yet, ‘m usin’ t.”
”t, you’re my beautiful, beautiful daughter. oh this makes so much sense- how did i not see it sooner?”
she looked up. “you’re not- you’re not like, mad or anythin’?”
phil hastily shook his head. “of course not! gods of course not t, i love you so much, i just want to see you happy.”
and a new, but better type of tears came as she smiled wobbly and pressed her face back into her father’s shirt.
“is that why, earlier this week, you asked about...”
”yeah, it is.”
”well. i still think penelope is a wonderful name.”
she laughed sarcastically. “of course you would.”