Chapter Text
When Kel got back home, he was all sweaty and shaking: maybe going out until the sun set without any heavy clothes on him hadn't been a really good idea.
Not that he ever had to worry about being cold before, he was always with the others, and Hero and Mari would take care of the little ones whenever a problen rose up; back then, he didn't ever feel the cold, everything was so fun that it didn't matter.
He huffed and closed the door behind him, already hearing his parents steps from the other room.
He didn't really listen to them when they lectured him about going around so late and for so long, without anyone around to check on him; sometimes he caught up words like "responsible", "lunch" and "worried". He didn't care still, he just wanted to jump on his bed and fall asleep until everyone got back to their old selves.
At that point, he didn't know that no one would really go back to being the children he knew.
His parents seemed to notice that Kel wasn't really paying attention to them, so they exchanged a look and his mother sighed.
"Come on, dinner is nearly read, go upstairs and call your brother"
"I also think there's still some time for you to take a shower- what have you been doing outside to be this disheveled?" his father added, and Kel instinctively stuck his tongue out at him, making him chuckle a bit.
Hearing his father laugh lightened his mood just enough for him to rush the stairs and triumphantly open the door of his bedroom; the room was dark and quiet, his bed was folded neatly (thanks mom) and his side was still kinda messy. Well, he hadn't had much time tidying up when he was so busy going out trying to catch his friends, that's for sure.
He glanced at the other side of the room, and huffed a bit seeing that Hero was still under the covers, showing his back to him; he really didn't want to disturb him, but at the same time he just wanted to see him up as he always did. He didn't like being the one to call him for the meals, Hero had always been the one to take care of him.
Kel shivered, suddenly remembering that yeah, he had spent many hours outside in the cold, and decided that a hot shower would be good; so he went beside Hero's bed and tried to speak in the softest way possible (which wasn't very soft, Kel was used to talk very loudly all the time, but after seeing Hero flinch every time he tried to sound excited he stopped, scared to be a nuisance)
"Herroooooo. My favourite brother! Dinner is nearly ready downstairs, why don't you join us?"
Wow, that came out really polite, good speech Kel, self high-five!
Still, Hero remained silent, the only sign that he had heard him a heavy long breath; well, at least he was awake, good.
Kel waited for a while for an answer, and when he decided that he wasn't going to receive one he got up and went to the bathroom, excited to finally stop being so cold.
When he got under the hot water he let himself relax, noticing only then how tired he was; but it was not the good kinda tired, like when he used to spend all afternoon with Sunny and the others: it was just...just this lingering pain in his bones, and muscle, and maybe his head felt a bit heavy too.
Sunny...
He hadn't knocked at his door that day.
Kel frowned when he got out of the shower, feeling more and more uneasy: what if this time Sunny had been ready to go out? What if he had waited for him to knock at his door? What if he was still waiting, disappointed that his friend hadn't reached out to him?
He didn't forget about him
He would never forget about him
He quickly dried himself, running to his bedroom to put some clothes on (this time heavier, even if he was still a bit hot after the boiling shower) and jumped downstairs, where his parents were preparing the table to eat.
"I have to do something quick! I'll come back soon!"
He didn't even wait for his mother to speak up and run out of the house, leaving the door open because whatever, he had to come back anyway.
In record time he was in front of Sunny's house, and with a big smile he knocked on the door expectantly.
As the minutes passed, the certainty that his friend had been waiting for him slowly vanished, and Kel took a step back: all the lights in the house were off, no sign of life coming from the windows, or sounds from the door.
Nothing.
It was like the house had died with Mari
Kel run back home, trying to suffocate his disappointment; his mother was waiting for him at the threshold of the main door, a blank expression on her face. He smiled at her brightly, pretending nothing was bothering him after all, and she let him inside, closing the door behind her.
"Did you go to knock at them again?"
He nodded and glanced at her, not liking the tone of her voice: he knew there was something else she wanted to say about it, or she wouldn't have asked that way.
"...your friend won't come out like this. He will when he will be ready, you shouldn't bother them."
Kel didn't know why and what hurt so much about that sentence, but suddenly all the bottled up emotions transformed in something entirely different, which he still didn't like, but at least it wasn't as bad.
He lowered his head and stared at his hands, which were shaking hard under the pressure of this new intense emotion, and he just wanted to scream, scream at his mom that she was wrong, that he was doing the right thing and that one day Sunny would come out and thank him for always being there and never leaving him alone.
He was doing the right thing.
He was doing the right thing.
He closed his fists and didn't say anything, walking towards the stairs to go to his bedroom.
"Kelsey! Dinner is ready, come on, come here. Didn't you tell Hero already?" his mother called after him.
"Hero his sleeping. And I'm not hungry, goodnight"
Kel didn't ever look at his mother while answering her and ran upstairs, entering his room and jumping on his bed.
He hugged his pillow to his stomach and sighed, closing his eyes: so maybe he had lied about not being hungry, yeah, but he couldn't handle staying sit in front of his parents with all that pent up energy.
Now that he thought about it, he couldn't handle laying down either.
So he got up, and started walking around his small side of the room, up and down, up and down, shaking his hands and arms in frustration.
Frustration, that's what it was.
He was angry.
Angry because he couldn't believe that all his effort was being wasted, that he was bothering instead of helping, he couldn't stand it.
"Herroooo I'm so pissed right now! Why isn't anybody going out at all? I'm lonely and I don't ever know what to do!" he started thinking out loud, hoping to ease some of the pressure building inside him.
"Aubrey and Basil still aren't coming to school, but I understand that! School sucks, I would skip it too if I could! But Sunny isn't coming out of his house ever, I haven't heard of him in forever!"
It had only been 8 days but ehy, he was a child, more than a week felt like an eternity.
"I don't understand, there's something I'm not getting, I just want everyone to stay together, and go back to be happy, just for a little while! I don't understand..."
At some point Hero had turned around in his bed, now laying towards him.
"I won't stop. I won't stop until everyone is back together... I will help Aubrey, I will help Basil and Sunny, and I will help you! Just wait for it!"
He exclaimed and turned towards Hero with a big smile; but when he looked at his face, he didn't see pride, or happiness. It was strange, that expression on his brother's face was strange.
He didn't like how he was looking at him.
Kel stopped his walking and blinked once, twice, feeling uncomfortable.
He waited for Hero to say something, but to no avail; his brother just sighed and closed his eyes, ignoring him.
The little kid pouted and got back on his bed, turning to the opposite way and going back to hugging his pillow.
He would help.
Kel could be of help.
He fell asleep with that faint conviction swirling around his head, ignoring the growling of his own stomach.
-
The day after he was surprised to see Aubrey at school: the last week she hadn't been going, just like Basil and Sunny. The fact was, Kel and her didn't go to the same class, so he noticed her presence only during class break; they went to the same spot to buy their snack, it wasn't exactly their meeting point but close enough.
When Kel recognized her features he was ecstatic and he quickly waved at her, maybe with too much effort considering they were already so close to each other; Aubrey spotted the movement and turned around to look at him. She didn't look so good, Kel noticed; she was always the one that cared more about her appearance, even more than Mari and Basil (Basil really loved trying to follow that flower aesthetic of his), but it seemed that that could also change in a week: her hair didn't look soft and shiny like always, she didn't have her usual pin to keep a specific lock of hair out of her left eye, and her clothes looked kinda...crinkly?
Kel had to say, he wasn't the most attentive child in the world. Actually, he got usually distracted and wouldn't see or understand things that others did, but he had already got that, going on.
The fact was, maybe ten days ago he wouldn't have noticed it, wouldn't have noticed like Mari did, but it had been so long since he saw her that in the meanwhile he had unconsciously created an "ideal Aubrey" in his head, an Aubrey that reflected all his best memories with her.
The one in front of him wasn't like that.
She looked disheveled and her eyes looked...haunted.
Despite everything, Kel forced a smile on his face and put his hands on his hips.
"Aubrey! It's been a while! How are you?"
That was a normal start for a conversation. It was neautral, it should have been the beginning of their little reunion, or so Kel thought.
Instead something he wasn't expecting at all happened.
Aubrey started crying.
And no, not in the cute way anyone would imagine for a little and delicate girl like her: it was the wrenching kind of cry, the kind where you bawl your eyes out and you can't control the noises that come out of you.
At that reaction, Kel froze completely, smile vanishing from his face, replaced by shock. Children were starting to notice the commotion and kept glancing at the two of them, some stopped to look better at the situation, others started to talk to each other.
Why is she crying in the middle of the hallway? Grosssss
Did that one made her cry like that?
What did he say? What happened?
Are the fighting?
Is he a bully?
Hearing some of that, Kel recomposed himself quickly: him, a bully? What, he was just trying to act normal! What was wrong with everyone?? Geez.
Not caring about all the stares on him, he grabbed Aubrey's arm and made her follow him: he didn't want any teacher to misunderstand what was happening and blame him for something he didn't do.
So he dragged her around, gently, always gently, in a way she wouldn't trip over her own feet while she kept crying; when they were finally in a place where no one would recognize what had happened he stopped and put his hands on Aubrey's shoulder, perplexed.
"Ehy! Aubrey, come on, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
He felt so uncomfortable in a situation like that; he usually wasn't the one that had to comfort someone when they cried, sometimes he was the one that cried! Well, not anymore he guessed.
Still, seeing her friend like that was starting to feel painful.
"It's just..." she started, interrupted by a hiccup; she quickly wiped her tears, trying to stop them while she regained her composure.
"I'm... I'm not good, obviously, stupid Kel. Why would you ask that?"
Kel blinked twice, then pouted a little bit
"Ehy, I was just trying to start a conversation! Also, isn't it too early to insult me?"
She chuckled a bit at that, so he took that as a win; he put a smile on his face back again and took his hands away from her shoulders. Aubrey seemed to finally notice how close they were and she huffed, putting her hands in front of her face.
"Embarassing..." she whispered, shaking her head.
"Oh yeah! You are a really ugry crier, you know that? You got all red on the face and you had this expression-"
He took a step back before Aubrey could punch him, giggling softly.
"Don't point that out! You are so insensitive!" she exclaimed, but she didn't seem to really mean that, a little smirk on her face too.
God, how he missed doing that, being the one to put a smile on one of his friend's face.
"So...have you seen Basil? I know he is in the same class with you, and I was wondering..." he asked, actually curious to know: he hadn't seen him at school in a while, but maybe they just hadn't crossed roads.
Aubrey's smile vanished just like that and she shook her head.
"No, he hasn't been going to school since..."
She lowered her gaze, staring at her feet and letting that sentence hang in the air.
Suddenly the atmosphere felt a lot more tense, and Kel dry swallowed, never changing his expression.
"Mh, Sunny hasn't been around either. But they'll be back soon! Don't sweat about it!"
She nodded, not seeming truly convinced. In that moment the bell rang, marking the end of their break; they looked at each other and sighed, not really wanting to go back to class: at least they had something in common, hating school. They used to complain a lot to the others, that actually didn't really mind. How could they not mind? Staying still and listening to an adult talking for 5 hours straight?? That was hell! Maybe if the teacher was a child they would say stuff in a more interesting way!
Before Aubrey could turn around and go to the opposite direction, Kel found the courage to speak up.
"Anyway! Would you like to hang out at the park this afternoon?"
Aubrey glanced at him, a perplexed look on her face. Wow, that must have sounded like he was asking her out or something. Damn.
"It's just! I have been so bored out of my mind these days! I can't handle being alone any longer!" he added, but then physically slapped himself on the forehead, understanding that that had probably made it worse.
The girl in front of him rolled her eyes, but smiled at him.
"Yeah, why not. I need to get out of my house too."
Kel didn't know if it was possible to smile more brightly than he was actually doing; he felt like jumping around, and scream, and run up and down the corridor, and hug her, and...
He had to keep is composure.
So he just nodded excitedly and waved at his friend, running towards his class and ignoring completely the fact that he had skipped his morning snack.
Maybe everything would be alright after all.
-
Everything was not alright.
God, everything was so awkward.
He had gone to the park right after lunch, not forgetting obviously to invite Hero and Sunny too, but as he expected they weren't really feeling up to it.
But whatever, he thought, he would be fine without them!
That was really not the case.
He had to wait a while for Aubrey to come, they hadn't really agreed on a specific time, but eventually she got there; she had spotted him immediately and run to him, but then she had frowned and looked around, like she was searching for something.
"Uhm, where's Hero?"
And really, he hadn't considered that he and his brother were inseparable, it was obvious that she was going to expect the oldest too.
What was he supposed to say at that point? "oh yes, Hero hasn't gotten out of his bed since last week, he doesn't do anything but mope all day, maybe all night too, I didn't bother checking"
So he just went for a "he wasn't feeling well" and brushed it off like that; it wasn't like he wanted to talk about it anyway.
And then...that was kinda it. The fact was, he and Aubrey didn't really hang up together without the others, so they didn't really know what to do together: they didn't have many things in common, and they were a boy...and a girl! It was doomed to feel awkward!
They had decided to sit near the trees, and started trying to recognize the insects that got near to them; it wasn't the most exciting activity for Kel, but it was surely relaxing. And he wasn't trying really hard anyway, it was just fun to pretend that he knew what he was saying.
Sometimes silence got the best of them, and when Kel couldn't handle it anymore he would do something stupid like try to climb the trees (kind of failing, the branches were really too high for him), or see how high he could go on the swing, anything to delete completely any hint of sadness he could perceive.
After a while he had moved so much he was gasping for hair, laying on the grass next to Aubrey; he was so focused on catching his breath that he didn't notice her laying next to him, hands crossed on her lap.
But she heard her sigh, then take some short breaths, and it sounded like she was choking so he turned around to look at her, perplexed.
She was crying, again. But this time silently, more composed, like she was scared of looking bad like he had said that morning.
Maybe that made him feel a bit guilty.
Kel got on all four and stared at Aubrey from above, furrowing his brows: he had seen Aubrey crying, but this time, and that morning too, it was just so...unsettling. It felt wrong, and right at the same time, it was painful because it wasn't like crying because you hurt your knee or your head.
It was something more, something bigger, and this something bigger was the thing that made him want to run and run and run off somewhere it wouldn't reach him.
This time, he didn't ask not because he didn't understand, but because he did know.
Still, maybe he had a questioning look on his face, because Aubrey sniffled and, while covering her eyes with her arm, spoke up
"I miss her. I miss Mari so much..."
I miss her
I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her
He had to get away.
I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her you miss her you miss her you miss her I miss herImissMariImissherImissherImisshersomuch
"I have to go"
He ran away.
Which was a very shitty thing to do.
But he still did it, because everything was closing around him and it was just pain pain pain, it hurt so much and he couldn't stay still and suffer like that.
So he got up, turned his back to Aubrey and ran as fast as he could, as far as he could go.
This time, Kel got tired pretty soon, he had gotten right past his house and his throat burned
So
MUCH
Good, that was good.
That was better.
The guilt of having left Aubrey to cry alone was also better than the feeling being back.
When he finally looked at his surroundings he noticed that it had indeed gotten late: the sun was setting and the sky had turned light orange.
He really liked orange.
Kel didn't wait long after that and got back home.
He would have to apologize to Aubrey the day after.
-
So, he did apologize the day after that, and Aubrey accepted his apology after, like, one minute of pretending to be offended.
They also both kept trying to spend some time together, but after a while they just...
He wasn't going to say they just stopped out of nowhere, it was gradual; but in a sense, he knew that they both knew it would have happened: Hero wasn't getting out of his room any soon, the same could be said for Sunny and Basil, or so it seemed.
Well, it wasn't like he actually knew, it wasn't conscious, but it was a feeling.
Kel knew he loved Aubrey and wished her all the best, but they just didn't work alone like that.
Maybe, just maybe, the timing had been all wrong.
A month or two and they didn't meet at the park anymore.
Six months, and they rarely ever stopped when they met each other outside or at school to chit chat.
But it was after a year that everything broke between them.
Kel had just gotten to school, and he saw her right in front of the main door: she was showing him her back, and some other girls (and boys) were around her, complimenting her.
Complimenting her, because she had died her hair blue.
He didn't even know how he had recognized her, maybe from her usual clothes or posture, but that hair...it looked so cool!
It was a very bright blue, and yeah, maybe her hair was a little dry when he got close enough to see it better, but it was sure worth it!
He got in front of her and smiled, point at her new look
"Aubrey! Wow, this looks very good, I love it! Did you do it by yourself?"
The other people around her stepped back a bit or resumed doing what they were doing, giving them some space; Aubrey leaned a bit back and turned to look directly at him, but her gaze wasn't benevolent.
She snorted and crossed her arms, looking at him warily.
"I did it myself. Why would you care anyway?"
Kel didn't understand what she meant, but he somehow felt offended by her tone: what did she even mean? She had never talked like that to him before, that actually sucked.
Even though he had gotten taller than her, her glare made him feel really small.
"What...what do you mean by that? What's wrong with me asking?" he answered, failing at not sounding defensive.
At that Aubrey sneered, she sneered at him and shrugged, putting her backpack on her shoulder; she stopped a little more to stare at Kel head to toe, like she was reading him, like she was trying to find something in him that she couldn't see.
After that short moment of silence, she spoke up
"You never cared about anything"
And like that, she walked away, leaving him there.
And if she had a melancholic expression on her face, he didn't notice, too focused on elaborating her words.
You never cared about anything.
You never cared.
In that moment, Kel felt like crying.
Instead, he run to his class as fast as he could.
Instead of crying, he skipped his class break to run outside some more.
Instead of crying, he run back home, not taking his usual bus.
Instead of crying, he skipped lunch to knock to Sunny's door and then run to the park, and run some more.
He run until he felt so dizzy he thought he was going to fall on the ground and not being able to get up again.
He didn't, because if he did he knew that overwhelming feeling would catch up.
Or maybe it already did.