Chapter Text
Sunday 01:45/01:45am
thebestsenpai:@bitchboy stop being a little bitch yamaguchi is right in asking these important questions
bitchboy: was i put on this earth just to suffer
theWorst: yea
theWorst: thank you tanaka-senpai
theWorst: :DD
thebestsenpai: yuu is tragically on a date with asahi which means he won’t be online but i just know he’d love this
localshit: disgusting
localshit: imagine being in a relationship
localshit: couldn’t be me
theWorst: you sound very bitter ennoshita-san
theWorst: its not a good look on you <33
localshit: you interact with suga and i way too much i’m starting to realise
THESUN: HIII
THESUN: KAGEYAMA AND I PLAYED VOLLEYBALL ALL DAY SORRY
THESUN: i like soup!!!
localshit: how in god’s name do you have so much energy at 2am
THESUN: i can’t sleep!!!
theWorst: yeah we can tell babe
THESUN: isn’t cordon bleu that one actor????
THESUN: how could he be lava cake????
theWorst: i-
localshit: wha
bitchboy: yk what actually the food discourse is funny
milk: IDIOT
THESUN: what did i do!!! don’t call me idiot!!!
milk: cordon bleu is what people call mountains in that country where they speak spanish!!!
THESUN: you don’t even know the name of that country you can’t call me an idiot!!!
milk: yes i do!!! it’s spaim!!
THESUN: just because you know spaim doesn’t mean anything!!!
theWorst: .
localshit: ..
bitchboy: …
Tupperware: ….
thebestsenpai: oh hi suga-san!!! where’d u come from?
Tupperware: my idiot kouhai instincts were tingling
Tupperware: ennoshita spammed me awake
bitchboy: i don’t even know where to start with that convo
localshit: they’ve gone suspiciously quiet
theWorst: oh no worries they’re having a sleepover
theWorst: they’re probably trying to strangle each other right now
Tupperware: “no worries” he says
localshit: i’m in pain why are these two so stupid
locashit: how can kageyama be a genius on court and,,,, this in life
localshit: hinata is consistent at least
thebestsenpai: is this a bad time to mention i also thought cordon bleu was an actor
bitchboy: what the fuck tanaka-san
localshit: no its not
localshit: its an easy mistake to make don’t worry ryuu
thebestsenpai: :DD!!
Tupperware: wow
bitchboy: i’m losing it
theWorst: way to go ennoshita-san
localshit: listen here you little shits
theWorst: no sorry i don’t have ears
thebestsenpai: i’m lost
Tupperware: cordon bleu is a european food
Tupperware: corbin bleu is an american actor
theWorst: yeah
theWorst: i think kageyama was probably thinking of cordillera which is a spanish word for a mountain range
bitchboy: and spaiN is only one of many countries in which spanish is spoken
bitchboy: also it’s spelled with an n
thebestsenpai: huh
thebestsenpai: i didn’t know any of that
Tupperware: we know, child
Tupperware: good teamwork, yamaguchi, tsukishima! we did well!!
theWorst: we did!!
bitchboy: …
theWorst: agree
bitchboy: we did
Tupperware: it’s disgusting how many of you are Whipped ngl
theWorst: okay so you and your boyfriend aren’t????
Tupperware: ennoshita was right you really do spend too much time with me and him
Tupperware: i don’t know how to feel about creating a monster
bitchboy: let me assure you he has always been like that
bitchboy: he just likes to play innocent
bitchboy: also he has bad anxiety so like
theWorst: wow thanks tsukki
bitchboy: you do?
theWorst: okay so? you don’t need to expose me like that
bitchboy: i fucking hate you
theWorst: mmh
bitchboy: i’m going to bed
Tupperware: oh shit yeah we should all go to sleep
localshit: i cannot
Tupperware: you are excluded please just take care
localshit: i will try
localshit: good night to everyone, i will keep vigil
Tupperware: good kid
Sunday 07:03/07:03am
Dabchi: I thought I told you all not to continue this conversation? Why does nobody ever listen to me?
SweetBabyJesus: because you suck
Dabchi: I hate you.
SweetBabyJesus: what do you want me to do about it?
theWorst: with all due respect daichi-san
theWorst: you said we weren’t allowed to talk about foods anymore today
theWorst: which was yesterday
theWorst: so technically, what we did wasn’t wrong
Dabchi: You talked about Cordon Bleu at 10 for the first time.
theWorst: fuck
theWorst: i mean
theWorst: that wasn’t me
Dabchi: Of course it wasn’t.
theWorst: tsukki took my phone
Dabchi: Right.
Dabchi: You remember the diving drills I assume?
theWorst: no sorry i don’t have a brain
Dabchi: Why does nobody respect me in this club?
SweetBabyJesus: because we’ve all seen you get hit in the face with a ball because you were staring at sugas ass
SweetBabyJesus: because you fell down the stairs on multiple occasions because suga laughed
SweetBabyJesus: because you buy us all meat buns all the time even if you say you won’t just because someone makes puppy eyes at you
Dabchi: Alright, I get it.
SweetBabyJesus: because you played in a turtleneck for three days because you didn’t think of using makeup to cover hickeys from suga
Dabchi: Stop.
SweetBabyJesus: i have a document
theWorst: i would like to see it
Dabchi: Absolutely not.
SweetBabyJesus: i’ll send it to you yamaguchi
Dabchi: Do not.
SweetBabyJesus: i’m not afraid of you
Dabchi: I know where you live.
SweetBabyJesus: i am afraid of you
Dabchi: Good.
SweetBabyJesus: but !
Dabchi: Oh no.
SweetBabyJesus: YOUR boyfriend isn’t and he’s MY best friend so he’ll protect me
Dabchi: He makes fun of you more than anyone else, though?
SweetBabyJesus: that’s not important right now
SweetBabyJesus: he is always down to make fun of you so he will help me in this, at least
SweetBabyJesus: suck it
Dabchi: It’s too early for this shit.
theWorst: why are you guys awake anyway?
SweetBabyJesus: anxiety
Dabchi: My little brothers decided now was the right time to start an all out war in their room and my parents haven’t been able to calm them down yet.
Dabchi: Why are you awake?
theWorst: i can’t sleep long after it gets light out
Dabchi: You’re always last to wake up at training camps.
theWorst: that’s different
theWorst: i sleep better when i’m not alone
Dabchi: Huh. That’s interesting.
SweetBabyJesus: yeah i relate
SweetBabyJesus: i always sleep better when yuu is there
SweetBabyJesus: i mean when others are there
theWorst: gay
theWorst: kageyama please don’t accuse me of homophobia again
Dabchi: I doubt he reads these chats back.
theWorst: yea that’s fair
Dabchi: Alright my brothers seem to have declared the whole house a warzone, I will see you all later.
SweetBabyJesus: listen
SweetBabyJesus: i love the guy but he really texts like an old person and it’s awful
14:52/02:52pm
NoShit: i wonder if other teams also have groupchats
NoShit: can some of y’all who’re friends with other teams ask
THESUN: i can add kenma!!
NoShit: hinata no-
Tupperware: that is NOT what he asked
THESUN added Kozume Kenma to “ Karasuno Volleyball Team”
NoShit: jfc
THESUN: KENMA!!
bitchboy: hinata get reading comprehension challenge
localshit: i’ll bet with anyone that all he’s getting from this is the challenge
theWorst: how much
Tupperware: why would you make a bet that everyone knows the outcome off
THESUN: are you challingneing me tsukishima?!?!?! i’ll beat you!!!!
bitchboy: i should’ve seen this coming honestly
theWorst: challingneing
theWorst: shouyou learn how to spell please
theWorst: see, tsukki, this is a perfect example of how to convey the same thing you said without making him think it’s a c-word
bitchboy: i genuinely hate you
Tupperware: my love for yamaguchi is growing every day
THESUN: wait what is the challenge???? i can’t win if it’s height :(((
Kozume Kenma: there is no challenge, sho
Kozume Kenma: also excuse my french but what the fuck is this
localshit: we’re all japanese
THESUN: we had a question!!!!
THESUN: kinoshita-san had a question!!!!
NoShit: i promise you i wasn’t asking him to add you to this
NoShit: all i wanted to know was if other teams also had team chats
Kozume Kenma: ah
NoShit: i’m very sorry kenma-san
Kozume Kenma: dw, also drop the honorifics pls
Kozume Kenma: sho’s my best friend but i know he doesn’t read things properly
Kozume Kenma: or listen properly
NoShit: yeah
Kozume Kenma: can i leave now?
THESUN: the question!!!!
Kozume Kenma: yes we do
Kozume Kenma: can i leave
theWorst: wow tsukki look at that
theWorst: someone with less energy than you
Kozume Kenma: thanks, its the depression
localshit: omg samesies
thebestsenpai: SAMESIES????
localshit: …
NoShit: ryuu bestie were you not aware chikara is depressed
Tupperware: we literally had a mental health importance talk a week ago
bitchboy: i swear some of you guys’ brain capacity is limited to volleyball
YuurLibero: THAT’S WHATS IMPORTANT
bitchboy: jesus
bitchboy: jumpscare
thebestsenpai: i know chikara has depression!!!! iwas just shocked by his use of samesies
thebestsenpai: it’s very cute
NoShit: i’m sorry WHAT
thebestsenpai: i mean the word
thebestsenpai: the word isvery cute!!!! and i didtn know chikara usd it soi was shoikced thats all tis is idswear
YuurLibero: alexa how do i tell my best bro i hate him
theWorst: wow i love subtlety
Tupperware: you guys are worse than daichi was
THESUN: tanaka-senpai is right the word is cute!!!
thebestsenpai: hinata thats why you’re my favourite
bitchboy: personally i think it’s unfair that there are favourites just because of brain capacity but okay
NoShit: wow chikara has gone suspiciously quiet
NoShit: wonder what that’s about
Kazoohito: babe careful he might try strangling you again
NoShit: thats a risk i’m willing to take
theWorst: thank you for your sacrifice Kinoshita-san
bitchboy: your bravery will not be forgotten
Tupperware: we’ll put up a memorial for you
SweetBabyJesus: what is wrong with you all
YuurLibero: babe send help
SweetBabyJesus: i cannot help you
YuurLibero: why not
SweetBabyJesus: kiyoko can confirm i lost hair over daichi and suga
SweetBabyJesus: i can’t get involved
YuurLibero: not your beautiful hair!!!!
YuurLibero: can i still rant???
YuurLibero: i’ll braid it for you!!!!
SweetBabyJesus: of course <333
YuurLibero: yay <3333
YuurLibero: y’all i fucking love my boyfriend
Tupperware: absolutely disgusting behaviour
SweetBabyJesus: listen up you little bitch
YuurLibero: fight! fight! fight! fight!
theWorst: noya-san i mean this with the utmost respect for asahi-san, but if i had to bet on one person in your relationship to win a fight that would not be him
Bitchboy: you’re completely feral and he has anxiety so yeah
YuurLibero: fuck
YuurLibero: y’all are right
YuurLibero: suga-san i’ll fight you!!!!
NoShit: now THAT is worth a bet
NoShit : @ localshit you in?
Kazoohito: i can’t believe how bold you are babe
localshit: my bet is noya, also prepare to die
NoShit: i’ll buy you hoya
localshit: all is forgiven
Kazoohito: you’re way too easy, someone really shouldn’t be taking this long
localshit: whore
Tupperware: now now kids
Tupperware: i would never fight my precious kouhai
theWorst: you sent me a text two days ago about how you’d fight me if i took another pic of you being a simp for daichi-san
Tupperware: i would never fight my precious kouhai
theWorst: i hate this fucking family
bitchboy: you’re stealing my lines
theWorst: tsukki i swear to fuck
NoShit: so much drama in this chat on this fine saturday evening
localshit: it’s sunday
NoShit: what the fuck
thebestsenpai: i thought it was monday???
Tupperware: wouldn’t you be in school right now then???
thebestsenpai: i went this morning but it was locked up
localshit: i-
NoShit: oh wow
Kazoohito: that’s so embarassing for you chikara
YuurLibero: bro i love you but what the fuck
THESUN: i’ve done that too before!!!!
bitchboy: of course he has
Tupperware: why are all of my kids this way
SweetBabyJesus: you’re 17
Tupperware: so????
Kozume Kenma: uh
Kozume Kenma: not that this chaos isn’t mildly enjoyable
Kozume Kenma: but like. can i leave?
Tupperware: oh shit
Tupperware: i forgot you were still in here i won’t lie
Kozume Kenma: thanks
thebestsenpai: can you say hi to tora for me????
localshit: manners
thebestsenpai: please
Kozume Kenma: ugh
Kozume Kenma: yeah probably
YuurLibero: i hate him
SweetBabyJesus: i know
NoShit: you have no right to talk
YuurLibero: i didnt ask u bitch
Kozume Kenma added Kuroo Tetsuro to “ Karasuno Volleyball Club”
localshit: i thought he was leaving
bitchboy: please no
Bitchboy: not him