Work Text:
ABCDEFGH + Spouses
Anthony: Game night is at our place this Saturday. Kate promised the boys we’d finally get pizza, so that’s what we’re having
Colin: thank you Kate 🙌🏻
Kate: 😘
Daphne: what game are we playing?
Colin: pen and i want a rematch on the newlywed game
Eloise: you’ve been suggesting that every month since you and pen got together
Benedict: you aren’t even newlyweds
Colin: we weren’t last time we played either
Colin: but now we can answer all the couple questions and wipe the floor with you guys
Colin: plus it’s been a year since the last one, giving us plenty of time to prepare (not that we needed to)
Penelope: to be clear, I never said anything about a rematch
Penelope: also you left me out of the group chat name Anthony, I’m wounded
Anthony: you’re included in the spouses, Penelope
Colin: yes my dear wife, you’re a part of the spouses
Colin: which is perfect since we need to beat these fools at the newlywed game
Penelope: as Benedict pointed out before, we aren’t married
Daphne: as good as
Daphne: I don’t want to play the newlywed game again though
Benedict: why? Because you and Simon lost?
Colin: Anthony and Kate lost too! Don’t forget!
Kate: fuck off, Colin
Benedict : and don’t forget that you and Penelope also lost
Sophie : Ben, they weren’t even dating yet
Colin : which is exactly why we need a rematch
Colin : you guys in or are you too afraid that pen and i will embarrass you?
Anthony: Fine! We’re in.
Kate: and be warned that Anthony and I have also been preparing for the inevitable rematch
Benedict: Sophie and I have too!! We’ve got a year of marriage down, and a baby on the way!
Daphne: and we’re so excited about the little guy that’s due in a few months
Daphne: but you guys are going down. Simon and I are in
Simon: I don’t think I ever agreed to that
Colin: too late
Eloise: fran and I already have questions started
Gregory: im going to sit this one out you guys
Colin: you sure?? the last one was so eventful
Colin: you know, cause pen and i made out afterward
Penelope: COLIN!
Hyacinth: and for that reason, I’m also out. Don’t need to deal with you four couples all night when we already have to deal with it on a normal game night.
Sophie: let’s just do something that everyone can participate in
Hyacinth: nah, I’ve already got other plans
Gregory: same
Colin: so it’s settled
Colin: saturday night, the long awaited rematch that will prove team best friends who are super in love with each other (and figured their shit out a year ago) is the best couple in the family.
Penelope: can we have a new team name?
Colin: no
Francesca : this is going to be a complete shit show
—-
A year ago, she sat on this couch and tried not to let anybody notice how worried she was that someone would notice her feelings for Colin.
And now, 365ish days later, Eloise and Francesca were having to constantly remind them that once the game started, she and Colin couldn’t be cuddled up to each other.
“Fine,” Colin frowned before adjusting so he was further away on the couch. Before she could react, he was grabbing her knees and moving her legs so her feet laid in his lap. “Is this a regulated sitting position?”
Eloise rolled her eyes. “Why the hell did we agree to this again?” She muttered to her sister.
“Because it’ll be entertaining when they’re all about to kill each other,”
“Oh, right,”
Penelope settled into the couch, allowing Colin to absentmindedly rub circles on her ankle with his thumb. When she caught his eye, he sent her a devilish smile and a wink, causing her to roll her eyes in hopes he didn’t notice her blush.
Because even a year later, he can still make her melt.
So much has changed in the last year, and yet, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. It didn’t feel out of place for Colin to spend most of his time at her apartment. It didn’t feel odd for him to wrap around her like an octopus whenever he got the chance. It didn't even feel out of place for him to say he loved her.
By far the weirdest thing was that it didn’t feel weird.
“Okay, everyone,” Eloise said after clapping her hands together once. “This will be a mix of questions. Some will be about one person in the couple, but the majority are about you as a couple. A lot like the tiebreaker round last time.”
“What?” Anthony straightened up. “You’re kidding.”
“Afraid not,” Francesca said as she finished writing the team names on the board.
“Anthony and I have been preparing based on trivia-based questions,” Kate said, eyes narrowing into a glare. “You can’t just change the game!”
“We never said that trivia would be the type of question in the rematch,” Francesca said with a bored tone. “Not our fault you wasted a year learning more about each other,”
Benedict let out a loud laugh. “They prepared and they’re still going to lose!”
“Shut up,” Anthony snapped. “We’ll do great because despite the ridiculous answers this one gave last year,” he nodded his head towards his wife, “we’re still the best couple,”
“Be careful, Anthony. I could easily throw this competition,” Kate threatened.
Colin squeezed at Penelope’s ankle, causing her to look up at him. She raised an eyebrow and he shook his head before whispering “you better not throw it this time, Pen,” She stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled.
“Rules are the same as last time. If it’s about one person, two points are up for grabs. If it’s about you as a couple, it’s one point,”
“Everybody ready?”
---
Questions 1-5 (5 points possible)
Older Married Couple - 5
Not Newlyweds Anymore - 5
Best Friends (Who Are Sickeningly In Love) - 5
Lovebirds (still derogatory) - 5
“Didn’t expect everybody to get full points right out the gate,” Eloise muttered as she watched Francesca mark the whiteboard.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have picked such easy questions,” Daphne smirked.
Penelope bit her lip to hide her laugh because, while she loved Eloise and Francesca, they had selected easy first questions. Having the first five questions consist of anniversary, first date, who’s tidier, who’s the better cook, and who wakes up first couldn’t have been easier.
“Oh, trust us, the questions will get more opinionated,” Francesca said with a mischievous look in her eye,”
Benedict scoffed. “Bring it on,”
---
Questions 6-10 (12 points possible)
Older Married Couple - 11
Not Newlyweds Anymore - 12
Best Friends (Who Are Sickeningly In Love) - 12
Lovebirds (still derogatory) - 9
“That’s not fair!” Benedict exclaimed after Penelope and Colin revealed their answer. “Even we know who made the first move! We were there!”
“You weren’t there for that part,” Colin said. “You only saw what lead up to it,”
“Okay, fine,” Benedict rolled his eyes. “But what about, ‘who said I love you first’? Obviously, it was both of you!”
Penelope shrugged. “We didn’t pick the questions.”
“It seems like someone wants their best friend to win,” Daphne muttered and Eloise glared at her.
“I’m the host and a judge! I’m impartial!” She crossed her arm over her chest. “Though I do admit that now I want you to come in last place,”
“So much for impartial,”
“Not my fault you decided to question the integrity of the game,”
“These are all questions that came off a website. We didn’t make any up,” Francesca’s nose crinkled in disgust. “Do you think we wanted to know what everybody’s favorite physical trait was?”
Penelope flushed at the reminder and nudged Colin with her foot. He glanced over at her and offered a wicked grin. She had wanted him to say her smile or her eyes, but instead, he was rather honest when he wrote down her breasts.
Luckily, she had seen this coming from a mile away and had answered “I wish he would say my smile, but he’s going to say my breasts,” which the judges had agreed counted.
He was rather obvious with his love for her breasts, but she rarely talked about specific physical traits. So much so that she was a little surprised he knew she would say “his eyes”, but then he reminded her of the time she had a bit too much to drink and had waxed poetic about his eyes.
She had still been blushing when the next question had been asked, and when Colin listed his many nicknames for her, her face turned about as red as her hair.
They still got the points for that round, and for naming their song.
---
Questions 11-15 (19 points possible)
Older Married Couple - 18
Not Newlyweds Anymore - 17
Best Friends (Who Are Sickeningly In Love) - 18
Lovebirds (still derogatory) - 17
“You can’t honestly believe that you’re a better driver than me,” Anthony huffed and Kate rolled her eyes. “You’re a menace on the road,”
“That may be, but I’ve never gotten a ticket, have I?” Kate raised an eyebrow. “And how many have you gotten?”
“It’s not my fault you have somehow avoided being caught breaking the law!”
“I don’t break the law.”
Penelope took a drink from her glass of wine as Colin tapped a rhythm on her knee with his pointer finger. It struck her as odd, not because he was absentmindedly doing it while listening to his brother bicker with his wife, but because of the expression on his face.
He almost seemed nervous.
But he couldn’t be nervous. They were tied for first place (which Kate and Anthony were currently gloating about), and the only point they had missed was “who is the better gift giver”, which, much like Sophie and Benedict, had answered each other.
Maybe he was just nervous because now they were actually a couple. Nothing had been on the line last year (or so they thought), so even if they lost, they could easily say it was because they were just friends.
Perhaps he was worried that if they lost this time around, she would be angry at him for not knowing things about their relationship. She can confidently say that she really didn’t care either way, but she can understand the worry. She had thought about it a few times too. Colin was so eager for a rematch ever since they had gotten together, and now, he was finally getting it. What if she messed it up?
She had to keep reminding herself that there couldn’t be many questions left and they were doing well. They both agreed that Colin was the better driver, Penelope was the better kisser (though she had written “Colin, but he’ll say me, so me”, which, again, had counted), and stating each other’s worst habits and love languages was almost too easy.
“Okay,” Francesca said loudly, cutting off yet another argument. “This is the last question, and surprisingly, it’s still anybody’s game,”
“Wait, before we start that, I need another one of the cookies Sophie made,” Colin said as he lifted Penelope’s legs off his lap to stand. He placed her legs in his spot with a grin before he ran off to get a cookie. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes with a fond smile.
“He couldn’t wait five minutes?”
“Apparently not,”
“Wait, I’m a little confused on the math of the points and this being the last question,” Sophie asked.
“I told you it would be confusing,” Francesca muttered
Eloise glared at her before turning to Sophie.“The first couple that gets to twenty points wins, and the last question is worth two points. If either team that are currently at eighteen points right now get both available points, they have a chance at winning, if not, another question will be asked, meaning that those who are at seventeen still have a chance,”
“Why did you have to make it so complicated?” Anthony groaned. “Last time it made much more sense,”
“Shut it or we take away a point,”
At that moment, Colin came back in with a cookie in his hand. “Okay, I’m ready!” He made his way back over to Penelope, and when she went to move her legs so he could take his seat, he shook his head and settled on the floor with his back resting against the couch.
“Colin, if we both get this point, we win. If not, it could lead to another tiebreaker if Kate and Anthony don’t both get it too,”
Colin sent her a thumbs-up as he finished his cookie.
God, she loved this man.
“Okay, is everybody ready?” Francesca asked, her eyes moving to everybody, but settling on Colin for a second longer than the rest. Penelope looked between the two of them, but before she could question it, Francesca was looking at Eloise to announce the next question.
“First question is for the dudes,” Eloise said before reading off her laptop. “Where does your lady see herself in five years?” She looked up at them and then said, “ladies, you write down the answer,” After everybody had finished writing their answers down, Eloise began moving through each couple to award points.
Penelope was aware that Anthony and Kate were sharing their answers, and while she should be paying attention because they were the biggest competition right now, all she could do was stare at Colin’s profile.
He has a sliver of chocolate on the corner of his mouth that she was moments away from moving before his tongue darted out and cleaned it off. But it wasn’t the chocolate that had drawn her attention to him.
He was tapping on his own knee this time.
He was clearly nervous.
But why ?
Earlier in the night, she could see why he could be worried about the outcome, but now, two points from victory, he was nervous?
Even if they didn’t win, they still held their own against couples who have been together far longer than they have been.
Later tonight, when they’re cuddled up in her bed, she should bring it up and make sure he knows that she doesn’t care about a stupid game. She only cares about him.
She was startled from her thoughts when Eloise called on her to share her answer. Once she did, and Francesca added a point, she realized she hadn’t even heard Colin’s answer, but he had gotten it right.
All she wanted was to be happy when five years came around, and Colin had known that.
One point closer to winning, as were Anthony and Kate.
Colin looked up at her from the ground and she grinned at him. “We’ve got this,”
“Yeah,” He breathed out before turning back towards Eloise right before she told everybody to write down the answers for the men.
Penelope felt a swell of pride when she looked up and realized she was the first one to finish writing out of the rest of the women, and then she shook her head at herself because clearly, Colin’s competitiveness was rubbing off on her.
Eloise started with Anthony and Kate, who missed their chance at winning during this round. Naturally, they were angry with each other for not having their “right” answer. Both Daphne and Simon and Benedict and Sophie had gotten both possible points, so if Colin and Penelope didn’t get this last point, all four couples would be tied with nineteen points.
But Penelope knew exactly what Colin would write.
“Colin wants to publish a book within the next five years,” She said, showing her answer with a proud smirk. Eloise told Colin to reveal his answer, and as he did, her eyes widened. A few gasps were heard, but before Penelope could lean over to see his answer, Colin was looking back at her with a nervous smile.
“I wrote, ‘married to Pen’,” Penelope’s eyes widened and she felt her breath hitch in her throat.
They had talked of the future, had talked of their plans to be with each other for the years to come but to say it so clearly in front of his siblings sent tingles through her body. “Colin,” She breathed out, a smile forming on her face (despite the fact they didn’t get a point, securing their victory).
“That’s not what you wrote,” Francesca stated. Penelope turned to face her, ready to make a comment about her stating the obvious, but then she realized that Francesca’s eyes were on Colin.
In fact, everybody’s eyes were on him.
Penelope looked over at him and felt a gasp tumble past her lips as she took in the sight in front of her.
Colin had readjusted on the floor so he was resting on one knee. One hand held up his answer and the other held something up for her to see. His paper read ‘marry me?’ and pinched between his pointer finger and his thumb was a beautiful ring.
She dropped her own paper and blinked at him as tears sprung to her eyes.
“Colin?”
“Penelope, I never saw myself getting married. I wanted to travel and not be tied down, but that all changed at Benedict and Sophie’s wedding,” Penelope felt her cheeks redden. “I finally realized that I was stupidly in love with you and couldn’t stop picturing what our lives could be if only I worked up the courage to tell you my feelings.
“And then, a year ago, I dragged you into a stupid game just to prove a point, and we ended up confessing our undying love,” Penelope giggled at the reminder of his words that night, “and I knew you were it for me,” She felt a tear slip down her cheek, but she was frozen in her seat. “You’re the love of my life, Penelope Featherington,”
“And you’re mine,” She breathed out, surprised she could even find words.
He grinned brightly at her and moved the ring closer to her. “Will you marry me, Pen?”
She nodded quickly before gasping out “yes, of course,”. They embraced each other tightly as the room erupted in cheers.
Colin pulled back and grabbed her left hand, slipping the ring on her fourth finger before bringing the ring up to his lips to kiss. “I love you, Pen,”
“I love you too, Colin,” She whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips.
Colin pulled away again and held up the piece of paper that held his answer. “And by the way, I didn’t throw the competition just to propose. I wrote down what I knew she would answer,” He turned it around to show he had indeed written ‘publish a book’ on the back.
“Well,” Francesca grinned as she drew a point under their column. “I guess we have a winner,”
Penelope let out a laugh as Colin whooped and hugged her again. The rest of the siblings began arguing about the whole thing being planned (in which Francesca did admit that Colin had told her to include the last question so he could propose), but Penelope didn’t pay them any mind. She was too wrapped up in her fiancé.
“I think the Newlywed Game is my favorite game,”
“I might just have to agree with you,”
ABCDEFGH + Spouses
Colin: hyacinth! gregory!
Hyacinth: ugh, is this where we find out who won your stupid couple contest?
Hyacinth: aka the couple that’s going to be unbearable from now until the end of time
Gregory: as if they aren’t all unbearable already
Hyacinth: true
Colin: pen and i won!!!
Daphne: Eloise and Frannie rigged it
Francesca: no we didn’t, Daff
Colin: but i do think pen and i should change our team name
Colin: so once again, petition to change pen and i’s team name from best friends who are super in love with each other (and figured their shit out a year ago) to
Hyacinth: stop trying to create suspense, we literally don’t care
Sophie: you might
Gregory: what does that mean???
Colin: ugh you ruined it
Colin: let me start over
Anthony: For God’s sake, Colin, tell them before we do!
Colin: ugh fine
Colin: pen and i would like to change our team name to…
Colin: best friends who are super in love with each other (and figured their shit out a year ago) and are now engaged 💍
Penelope: how about just team newly engaged?
Colin: no, that’s boring, my dear fiancée
Anthony: You can spell fiancée with the accent over the ‘e’, but you can’t capitalize any of your letters?
Colin : priorities
Hyacinth: I’M SORRY WHAT
Hyacinth: YOU’RE ENGAGED???
Gregory: goddamnit, I’m never skipping another game night