Chapter Text
As Jeongguk exits his last class of the day, he hears his phone buzz and cringes. Ever since last friday's turn of events, each ring had been met with a note of panic.
Even now, on monday, three days after it had happened.
Choosing to ignore his phone, Jeongguk makes his way to the outdoor seating area before taking out a half-assed turkey sandwich he whipped together earlier that morning. After three contemplative bites, he takes a look at his phone’s lock screen and cracks his neck.
Jules :)
Hey! are you free today? we should talk :)
Yeah they should. But the truth is it’s been almost three days and the college freshmen still doesn’t know what to say to his friend or now maybe more-than-friend(?). If you would have told little fifteen year old Jeongguk that he’d befriend one of the coolest, prettiest girls on campus during his very first week of university he would have either 1) whooped and broken into his parent’s liquor cabinet (passing out after the third glass of wine) and started wearing skinny jeans at least 2 years sooner than he had or 2) furrowed his eyebrows in confusion (“That’s just not realistic.”) and clicked “Resume” on his paused video game.
Somehow it’s November now, three months into his freshmen year of college, and Jeongguk has just had his first proper make out session with a girl, an attractive one at that.
And he’s confused. Since their initial meeting, Jeongguk could appreciate that Juliana was a sweet, funny, and smart girl. She's a good listener and is down to earth, far more social than Jeongguk is. Going to the party on Friday was her idea after all. Had it also been her idea to get Jeongguk to take six tequila shots, though? To have Jeongguk slurring his words, his mouth in a permanent mid-part as he wobbled around her friend’s apartment, breathing out giggles and running into walls?
Had it been her idea to dance on him, ass-to-dick, joyfully, drunkenly, provocatively? Or was it the alcohol? Was it no one’s idea and simply the work of fate?
It wasn't a mistake in a sense, because Jeongguk had thought kissing her would be nice. But things were not that simple. Jules was cool, sure, but also—well, the only proper friend he’s made so far. And making out messily in a stranger’s apartment is bound to have transformed their easy friendship.
The economics major stares at his phone after finishing the last of his sandwich and thinks. During one of his many imaginary-therapy-sessions-in-the-shower of the past weekend he had asked himself “What if she likes you? Like, like-likes you? What will that mean for you?” “Well Mr. Therapist Jeon, sir” he had responded, “I don’t know. I didn’t really ever think about her as my girlfriend until after we made out. But to be fair, I’ve never thought of any girl as my girlfriend…” “Any girl? What about high school?”
And that was that. It got him thinking about his high school romantic life, or lack thereof. It’s not that it wasn’t there, it was just that he didn’t have time for it. Jeongguk has always been studious. And his hard work had gotten him into his dream school. So honestly who could—
His phone buzzes again.
Jules :)
Is that you sitting by the psych building?
Jules :)
HA
Jules :)
I’m coming over
Fuck. He grabs his water bottle and tries to pace out his gulps but ends up choking on the last of it as Jules enter his line of vision, waving with a small smile. He smiles back, or at least he thinks he does.
“Hey,” she greets, putting her bag down beside her. She’s drinking something (probably tea, Jeongguk thinks) from her thermos.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t respond. I was gonna wait till I finished eating to set up a time to meet.” The response slides out of Jeongguk uncomfortably, similar to the sweat forming at the back of his neck.
“Oh that’s fine.” She tucks a dark curl behind her ear and with the same two fingers, she toys with her hoop earring. Do I find that attractive? Jeongguk experiments. I guess, but not that way... “I was thinking we could talk about Friday night…” She’s looking at Jeongguk now, searching, so he nods.
“Yeah.”
She waits.
He tries again, “I’m sorry about that. I—” what is Jeongguk supposed to say? He thinks of what he wanted to convey and looks to his friend for any type of emotional indication. She looks stoic, mostly. She could be upset. He can’t read her and it almost starts to drive him crazy.
He breathes.
He doesn’t want a girlfriend. He wants things to go back how they used to be. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he tries again. What if she thinks I'm a perv? “I don’t want you to think—I just. I really value our friendship.” It all comes out rushed. The sun is hitting her face and she looks pretty and Jeongguk feels very stupid.
“Jeongguk! Hey,” her hand is on his (his eyes widen), and then it isn’t. “It’s ok. I—I don’t want things to change either. I really like you! I like us. I was drunk too. We were both drunk. We both did that on friday. It’s not on you.” She’s smiling reassuringly and Jeongguk feels a little bit of whiplash. He had thought she was upset. She seemed so serious before.
“Yeah. But…”
“I texted you because I value our friendship too…” Jules looking up at him with a different look in her eyes that Jeongguk can’t place. But it’s not disgust and for that he’s grateful. Relieved.
“Okay. Yeah. Yeah… Okay.”
Jules laughs at him.
“So are we back to normal? We’re friends right!?” This was easy, he thinks to himself. So he looks at his friend in front of him and studies her expression as he waits for her response. It’s sort of unreadable again, her eyes dazed and mouth parted. But then it’s gone and she’s grinning and wiggling her eyebrows in that goofy way of hers and Jeongguk laughs.
“Duh, dumbass. We’re friends.”
And if Jeongguk sees the way her smile falters he doesn’t think anything of it.