Work Text:
Behind (Extended Edition)
‘The ring has to go into that mountain, Fíli,’ Kíli said gently. ‘You know it does. They need you to help them get it there. Please, go.’
For another moment, which felt long though no doubt it was far shorter than they realised, Fíli stared at him helplessly.
Then he gasped slightly, tears escaping from each eye, and grabbed the back of Kíli’s neck. He pulled their foreheads together, as he had in every farewell since they were very young.
‘Love you,’ he whispered desperately. ‘Find me.’
‘Always,’ Kíli promised, not allowing himself any tears. He wouldn’t make this harder for Fíli.
Nor could he afford to have his vision blurred. He was going to need all the accuracy he could muster.
Behind him, Fíli skidded down the slope and then urged Legolas back. What he said or did Kíli didn’t know.
He didn’t look.
He didn’t want his last glimpse of his family to be their retreating backs.
Instead he nocked his arrow and, as their enemies neared, he fired.
The first orc fell.
***
Kíli’s arms ached, his chest ached, his stomach most certainly ached, and still he kept firing. Sweat began to drip into his eyes as his body demonstrated its resentment at being forced to keep standing and fighting. He flushed hot as a sharp burst of pain spread through him, even as he eyed up the orc approaching, picked his target, lined up his shot and fired. The orc dropped with an arrow in its squinty little eye – ugly bastard, even by orcish standards – and Kíli gave himself a mental pat on the back.
Before him he could hear the snarling of the orcs as they railed at being pinned down further up the path. Each time their leader finally grew impatient he shoved another of his soldiers forward, only to watch as Kíli drew and fired, dropping them to the ground. Reaching Kíli only became harder as the dead bodies began to pile up in the narrow rut that they had been using as a path.
Behind him… well, Kíli didn’t want to think too hard about what was behind him. He had heard the footsteps of his friends receding, had heard Bilbo shout something pained and angry just before they moved out of earshot, and had no desire to hear any more.
He’d much rather listen to the inside of his head.
‘Love you.’
‘Love you.’
‘Find me.’
He would. No matter what came, no matter where he ended up, he would always find his brother. There was no question of that. They weren’t meant to be individual units, he and Fíli. Kíli truly did not remember a time when Fíli hadn’t been with him.
His earliest memory was of the night their father had died, though he hadn't known then that was what had happened. The day had been loud and noisy, Kíli had been rushed into his room just as he was about to have dinner, hidden in a cupboard and told to be quiet, quiet as a mouse, even though outside there was shouting and wailing.
Then he had been taken out of the cupboard after what felt like hours, he thought by Uncle, and placed on Mum’s lap in the main room, looking on in confusion as people hurried in and out of the house, whispering when they spoke at all.
Mum had been crying.
It had been dark, he remembered that much, which was how he’d known it was night, but there had been enough candlelight to see that tear tracks were running down her face. He hadn’t understood; he’d never seen Mum cry before, hadn’t known that she could. He had known only that Mum was terribly, visibly sad and that he hated it.
He’d bawled his eyes out with fear, confused and tired and hungry and anxious… and then there had been Fíli. Crawling into Mum’s lap alongside him, though there wasn’t really enough room for both of them, cuddling him close, singing a tuneless little lullaby in his ear. Mum had hugged them both to her and Fíli’s heart had beat strong and steady under Kíli’s ear where they leant together. Kíli had known in that moment that he was safe and loved and that his brother would take care of him. Always.
He had been right. All the years of his life there had been Fíli, strong and steady as his heartbeat, always at Kíli’s side. Or, if not his side, at his back.
Kíli wouldn’t let himself contemplate an eternity where they were separated.
There was no option but to find Fíli.
First, however, he needed to make sure that Fíli would be able to complete his task.
And that orc was going to need to die.
Just. Like…. That.
Damn, he was good.
‘Show-off,’ Fíli said inside his head. Kíli smiled.
‘You only wish you were this good, big brother,’ he whispered.
******