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“It’s weird,” Lissa says firmly.
“It is not,” Chrom insists.
“It is,” Lissa repeats, and this is just like they’re children again, arguing while Emmeryn looks benevolently on. “It’s like, Frederick-level weird. You’re always attached at the hip!”
Frederick looks up from the stack of weapons he’s evaluating, a little perturbed at the less-than-glowing description of his relationship to his two masters. “Milady, if I might protest—“
But Lissa is on a roll. “And didn’t you once describe him as ‘the other half of my soul’ or something? I mean, c’mon! You sound like you’re in love with him!”
Chrom turns a little red. “I am not. Sumia and I are very much in love, a fact that Robin knows—“
“She’s going to feel insecure if you keep saying things like that about Robin—“
“Who’s saying what about me?” Said tactician in question cheerily steps into the war tent, nodding at all its occupants. “Chrom, Lissa, Fredericson.”
Frederick begins to protest faintly again. “That nickname, sir, is one that I—“
“Are you and my brother together?” Lissa demands, as Chrom groans.
“Well, no,” Robin says, unruffled. “Why would you think that?”
Lissa huffs. “Isn’t it obvious? I mean, you’re always saying the sappiest things about each other, and giggling together, and—“
“I don’t giggle,” Chrom interjects.
Lissa opens her mouth to argue back, but Robin beats her to the punch, looking faintly amused. “You know,” he says thoughtfully, “you do have a point about that. But no, Lissa, your brother and I are just good friends.”
Lissa looks unconvinced.
“Besides,” Robin continues cheerfully, “how could I be spending my nights with Chrom when I’ve been with you?”
Several things happen at once. Lissa turns bright red, Frederick’s sword clatters to the floor, mid-polish, and Chrom’s jaw drops. “What,” Chrom half-demands, half-asks.
“Ah, was I not supposed to say that?” Robin shrugs. “At any rate, Lissa, don’t worry: your brother’s virtue is safe from me, if not from Sumia.” And with that bombshell, he waves and walks out of the tent decidedly quickly.
There are a few moments of silence in the tent, Lissa flushed, Frederick stunned, and Chrom a mixture of congratulations and fury, before he finally explodes. “LISSA!”