Chapter Text
And all that's left to chart / Is nothing less than your own heart
-- Dar Williams, "Closer to Me"
When Yuna finally regained consciousness, she found herself lying with both hands draped around a railing, bobbing over the water atop a small piece of what used to be a yacht deck. Something slippery and warm, like wet skin, supported her legs from below. The cold water jerked into her full alertness, and she immediately crawled up on to the deck.
She looked back. It was a dolphin's snout that had been holding her up. "Hey, baby." The dolphin spoke with a Scandinavian accent. "You were sure snoozing away there. Guess that makes you my sleeping beauty, huh? How about a kiss from Prince Franz to help you wake up?" He opened his mouth.
"Uh... no thank you," Yuna said. Rikku would be so proud of her for standing up for herself.
But the thought of Rikku started to bring sense back to Yuna. Now she remembered what was doing out here. She'd been dumped into the sea after a whale had attacked their yacht on the way back to Besaid. Rikku and Rin had been thrown overboard, too, and all three of them were probably stranded in Yevon only knew where. She could only hope her friends had sent out a search team by now or they were completely out of hope. And she didn't like the way this dolphin kept leering at her; it was like he was undressing her with his echolocation. "I was with two others; did you find them?"
"No, but I'm sure one of my pals picked them up," Franz said. "All of us dolphins are friendly, so don't you worry your cute little face."
Perhaps a little too friendly, Yuna thought. She sat up. Well, at least Rikku and Rin were safe. If the rescue team arrived quickly enough, maybe she could wait out everything on this little piece of deck ... then again, who knew how long they'd take to find her? No one in the outside world had any clue about the whale attack or where she'd ended up.
Franz continued, "We're regular Good Samaritans, we are ... though the Franz would never turn down a little reward for a rescue." He winked.
"I'm going to need food and water."
"Ooh, sounds like you've got something kinky in mind."
"I meant to eat."
Franz's face folded into the dolphin approximation of a disappointed frown. She now saw that Franz was wearing a T-shirt with a foreign character and the word "SEME." "Well, you're halfway to the Cactuar Nation. I'll give you a ride. Everyone loves to ride the Franz."
"Um. How about I just sit on this piece of yacht and you push it?"
She gathered up her fishing pole, which floated in the sea beside her like a loyal dog, and then they they set off for Bikanel Island with Franz pushing the slab of deck. "So, you didn't tell me," he said as they traveled. "What's a nice girl like you doing adrift in a sea like this?"
"I'm on vacation, appreciating the great outdoors." Yuna, after a moment's hesitation, conceded, "Although I'm starting I think I should have appreciated them through the safety of the Travel Channel. This has been the worst vacation of my life."
Thirty minutes brought them to the shores of a tiny offshoot of Bikanel, where the beaches were sandy and so was everything else. A rustic but reasonably well maintained wooden shack stood in the center of the island, the only sign that it was inhabited. Yuna climbed off her tiny 1/32 of a yacht, glad both to be back on solid ground and to be a little further away from the randy dolphin. "Thank you ... Mr. Franz. Where does everyone live around here?"
"No friends in the area?" He waved a flipper towards the main coast of Bikanel, visible across the water. "Well, the borders of the Cactuar Nation are a league or so in that direction, but there's no here 'cept you and me, babe." He grinned. "The Franz lives in international waters. You wouldn't believe what's legal here."
"Oh. Hmm." She hoped that someone would be able to tell where her friends had come ashore. At this point, all she wanted to do to get out of the unknown wilds and back to some place safe. What a horrible time these past few days had been. She'd hoped a trip away from civilization would help her escape all the ridiculous adventures people forced her into, not land her smack-dab in the middle of one. But it seemed fate had installed a tracking collar on her, and whenever she tried to fight her destiny of being Spira's beloved Lady High Summoner, it shipwrecked her in the middle of the desert. I seem to be born to suffer. It's my lot in life.
Franz climbed out of the water and Yuna saw for the first time that he had legs instead of a tail. While she was trying to figure out what bizarre cross-breeding or genetic experiments might have produced such a fantastical creature, he caught her staring and winked again. "Like what you see?"
"I've never met a talking dolphin before, that's all."
He grinned. "Once you go cetacean, you never go Homo sapiens." Then he realized his libido had gotten ahead of his manners again. "I'm sorry. The Franz never asked your name."
This was unremarkable to Yuna; no one ever needed to ask her name. But now that he mentioned it, his past comments that had attracted no notice at the time came together. He'd only called her a "nice girl," inquired whether she had any friends in the area, apologized for never asking her name ... could it be he sincerely didn't do know who she was? "Er ... you do know who I am, don't you?"
"A hot babe?"
She try to test his knowledge with a little hint. "Er ... I'm a summoner...?" She was shocked; even in Spira's most remote corners, it seemed a given that everyone—yes, even lecherous talking dolphins—would recognize her instantly.
"Don't worry, sweetcheeks, your abilities are a distant third in The Franz's book."
Yeah, I think I can guess what the first two are, her mental commentary track retorted. But she didn't mind that he'd somehow managed to have no clue who she was. News must travel awfully slowly on remote desert islands if he had truly never heard of the Lady High Summoner, savior of Spira and daughter of Lord Braska, but after being regaled with an unending stream of parades, trophies, statues, she found herself surprised by how appealing the notion was. Here was someone she could talk to without worrying whether the conversation was actually a publicity stunt or a piece of some feud between New Yevon and the Youth League.
Franz pushed open the door to his shack. "Step into my recording studio, baby."
There couldn't be any harm in following him back to his shack, could there? At least she'd have a roof to stay under while she tried to figure out how to reunite with her family. She followed him inside. The interior of the shack was well kept-up, if crowded: Franz might have been a desert island hermit, but he had not abandoned basic societal conventions of cleanliness. "So what are you doing, living all by yourself out here in international waters?"
"Working on my sound collection," he explained. "This little island is a fantastic place to record marine life in their natural habitat. I'm trying to catalogue the calls of all of Spira's denizens of the deep."
"Oh." She was expecting something a lot more perverted than that. How refreshingly sensible.
"Well, that and trying my hand at writing some erotic limericks for my fellow dolphins. They say I have a way with clicks and whistles."
"Yikes." Yuna took the glass of fresh water he offered her and quickly downed it. As much of a perv as this dolphin was, she felt she could trust him. If he truly didn't know she was Spira's beloved High Summoner, he was probably the last person who would try to kidnap her.
"So, want to see my sound collection?"
Franz led her up the wooden stairs to to the shack's second floor. Aside from the bed crammed into the corner, most of it was taken up by Franz's recording studio. Microphones and speakers were piled atop equalizers and shelves upon shelves full of audio spheres. There was hardly a bare spot of shelf or floor visible anywhere. "Not bad, huh? I've got stuff here you could never believe." With a smirk on his face, Franz grabbed one of his audio spheres and stuffed it in the player. He tapped play. "What do you hear in THESE sounds, baby?"
The jumble of long, low tones sounded like nothing in particular to Yuna. "I, er, don't know."
"Whales mating." He winked.
She couldn't believe he was still trying to get into her daisy dukes. "Look, I'm a human being. You're a dolphin. I don't know what you're thinking, but it wouldn't work."
"That's what they all say at first."
Fidgeting, she turned away. "I'm sorry, I really appreciate your rescuing me, but I need to be on my way ... I guess." Now that she'd finally escaped the overbearing pressures of fame, she didn't feel a particular hurry to return to them.
"Well, I'll admit this isn't a four-star shack, but you're welcome to stay with the Franz as long as you like," he said. "But why so mysterious? I ought to at least know who I'm taking in, right? Are you on the run from a dangerous life of debauchery and illicit affairs? You can trust the Franz not to spill the beans."
"I'm High Summoner Yuna, OK?"
This still did not produce even a glimmer of recognition from Franz. Yuna, improbably, was relieved. "So?" he said. "How did you end up adrift at sea, Miss High Summoner Yuna?"
"Well, it's a long story. You might want to pull up a chair. I want to tell you everything."
* * *
One week earlier...
"So, the big two-zero," Rikku gave Yuna a nudge as they passed on the way to the ice cream. "Feel any older?"
"No, but it's not Tuesday yet," Yuna replied with a smile.
Rikku waggled a chastising finger at her. "Now, now. We decided this was going to be your birthday, remember? Today's the surprise party, so I'm calling you twenty."
Yuna frowned. "You told me about this two weeks ago; how can you call it a surprise party?"
"Ah," Rikku said with a knowing wink, "but that's what's surprising about it."
Looking mildly exasperated, Yuna piled ice cream and more birthday cake onto her plate before returning to the table. "We didn't have to go through all of this for your birthday, you know."
"Yeah, 'cause my birthday isn't a national holiday," Rikku said with a touch of resentment.
Yuna still wasn't too sure what to make of all this Yuna Day stuff. As everyone was all too happy to tell her, this celebration was what Spira owed her after the many adventures she'd undertaken in its service: overthrowing the thousand-year oppression of Sin (two years ago); destroying Vegnanun, putting Shuyin to rest, and bringing the Crimson Squad home safe and sound (two months ago); putting down the deadly Moomba Insurrection (one month ago); finding Keepa's lost kitten (yesterday). But, Yuna felt that if Spira really wanted to reward her, they'd give her some time off from being Lady Yuna and let her just spend her birthday with her friends and former guardians.
Rikku got busy stuffing her face. "This is sure great cake, Lulu." Lulu smiled. Brother, who had assiduously followed his videosphere instructions for seafood cake only to discover that Yuna was allergic to shrimp, fumed silently.
Cid burst into Yuna's hut with a wrapped package of moderate size tucked beneath his arm. "Sorry I'm late, Yuna! Yer old uncle Cid's been out tracking down the perfect present for his favorite little niece. What'd I miss?"
"Kimahri broke Lulu's piñata in one hit," Rikku reported, "and Yuna made a wish she won't tell anyone about." She could guess, though, it probably involved the fayth and him. And, for Yunie's sake, she certainly hoped it came true and the fayth finally made good on their promise.
"And there was a song which we're legally obligated not to mention by name," Paine added.
Cid set his package down on the table with the others. "Awright, how 'bout the birthday girl opens her presents?"
But before she touched a single gift, someone pounded on the door, provoking Yuna's dog into a calvacade of barks. "I'll get that!" Yuna patted Kogoro on the head to calm him and then ran to the door. She poked her head out into the Besaid town square.
It was Shinra. "Hi, Yuna. Sorry I couldn't make it to your surprise party, but the Machine Faction was wondering if you'd be able to attend our Yuna Day celebration in Djose. And, also, there's some type of drake or dragon or such in the foothills, so we were hoping maybe you could —"
"I ... think so."
"No." Rikku leapt up from the table to take over the conversation. "No, she can't. Take care of your drake yourself, poophead."
"Hey, I'm just a kid," Shinra protested before Rikku slammed the door in his face.
Rikku dragged her cousin to the table to open her birthday presents. "Yunie, it's your birthday. You can't keep running everyone else's errands." What was it with these people, anyway? Didn't they understand that their beloved Lady High Summoner was a person, too? The worst part was that, without someone looking over her shoulder, Yuna always let herself get talked into these ridiculous adventures.
Cid kept staring at his gift like a small child who couldn't wait to use the bathroom, so Yuna decided to take the pressure off him and hurry up on it. She neatly removed the tape and folded up the paper before looking into the box. "The new CommSphere 4.0!" she squealed.
Rikku only barely restrained herself from snatching the sphere out of Yuna's hands. "Is this the one with with video conferencing, the music player, and sixty free text messages every month? Ohmigosh," she hyperventilated. "Pops, how you come never get me anything this cool?"
Cid cracked up. "Well, they hadn't invented this when it was your birthday, now, had they? This is straight off the assembly line at Djose Temple!"
"This is amazing. Thanks, Uncle Cid!"
Wakka next slid a long wrapped box down the table to Yuna. "Picked this out myself just for you, ya?" he said as she unwrapped it. "Think you'll really have a great time with it."
Yuna looked at what she had just unwrapped. "A fishing pole."
"Yeah! Thought mebbe you'd like to come out fishing with me an' the boys sometime! I can see us takin' the afternoon off and all going out on a boat so Vidina can get to know his godmother when he gets a little older, ya?"
Paine looked amused. "Is this present for Yuna or for you, Wakka?"
Someone knocked on the door again. Before Rikku could even begin to complain, Yuna was on her feet and opening the door. Shelinda and a cameraman lurked outside like an invading army waiting for a break in the defenses. And they'd found one. "Lady Yuna, Elder Kimahri, I was wondering if I could have a few words from you regarding the Yuna Day dedication of your statue on Mt. Gagazet."
Maechen pushed the telesphere crew out of the way. "Fiends in the Omega Ruins! Lady Yuna, we need your help!"
"There's a bridge out and someone's lost in the mines!"
"Bickson of the Guado Glories has been replaced by a shapeshifting impostor and the real Bickson's locked in the Tower of Crates, which can only be accessed by a sewer!" Beclem declared.
Even Yuna had her limits. Her patience bubbled over and she suddenly shouted, "This is ridiculous! I'm trying to have my birthday party, which I already rescheduled once so I make it to one of your parades! And, Maechen, since when haven't there been fiends in the Omega Ruins?" At once, the crowd fell into a sullen silence, feeling ashamed for having provoked its hero's wrath. Yuna saw how disappointed they looked and immediately felt guilty. "Well ... I mean ... I guess I can help."
Rikku intervened to prevent any further backsliding. "You heard her. Lady Yuna is busy." She slammed the door, deadbolted it, and refused to listen to the ensuing cavalcade of knocks and questing demands.
"SLACKERS!" Beclem bellowed through the door.
"Honestly, Yunie, you've got to stick up for yourself. You get walked on more than the Highroad. You don't want to spend the rest of your life running errands for people, do you?"
"No." With a sigh, Yuna admitted, "Actually, sometimes I think it would be nice if I could get away to where no one would ever find me except the people I really care about."
"Well, there ya have it!" Cid roared with delight and clapped both girls on the shoulder. "Sounds like a li'l family vacation is in order! Just the four of us, livin' it up with Mother Nature out in the wild blue yonder!"
Rikku groaned. "Po-ops. After that near-sighted shoopuf tried to hibernate on me, you promised that we'd never have to go on another family vacation, remember?"
But, even without all of the people trying to browbeat into her running their errands, Yuna had found herself growing tired with of sleepy little Besaid. Who wanted to live in a town where you had to sail to the next island over just to buy an Elixir, where the Blitzball team had had twenty-six straight losing seasons, where no one had even bothered to paint the town gates any time in the last decade? Spira had so many more exciting places than this. She was young and eager for adventure; she should be out living it up in Luca or Bevelle, not wasting her time in this silly town. "No, I think that sounds fun," she said. "I'd like to get away from Besaid for a while. Have a few more adventures, explore the great big world out there. And, you know, just you and me and Uncle Cid and Brother, so I don't have to be Lady Yuna for everyone."
Meanwhile, Beclem had crawled back in through the window. "Now, to unmask the false Bickson, you'll need to shine on him the Elvaan Mirror of Radiance, which is locked in the Pillar of Kal'dalalobeth on a remote island in Fairy Lake. The Raccoontaurs can take you to the island, but first you'll need the Ear Trumpet of Heracles so you can speak to animals..."
Paine rose from her chair and made ready to throw her spoon at the intruder. "Countdown to hurtfest ... 3 ... 2 ..."
"...and to unlock the door in the ruins, you'll need the six orichalcum chess pieces randomly strewn about Spira in treasure chests, but this magical spyglass carved from the bark of the Golden Gaea Tree will indicate the location of..."
Both the magical spyglass and Beclem soon found themselves on the business end of Paine's 9999 HP damage-causing spoon and beat a swift retreat.
"OK," Rikku conceded. "Maybe it is time for a getaway. Raccoontaurs, Pillar of Zippedy-doo-dah, what is this crap?"
Yuna started to waver again. "I don't know, the Ear Trumpet of Heracles; that sounds like it could be pretty handy."
"Oh. My. God," Rikku said. "You are not thinking of going on that stupid quest, are you?" This was even worse than she'd thought. Rikku ran to the table, grabbed the gift she'd brought, and thrust it into her cousin's hands. "I think you need to open my present right now. I found the perfect book for you. You have to read it."
"Oh?" Yuna had no idea how any book could be of such urgency, but she quickly unwrapped the book and looked at the cover. The Power of No, it read.
"It's all about how to stand up to others and stick up for yourself," Rikku explained. "Maybe it will help you with all these people who keep bothering you."
Yuna hesitated. "Well ... I think I'm getting on fine without any self-help books, but thank you."
"Yunie, I really think you need this. C'mon, look at how people keep talking you into doing things you don't really want to do. You've got to learn how to keep from caving in."
"I don't know..."
Rikku pushed the book into Yuna's hands. "Please?"
"Oh, all right."