Archive of Our Own

Yotola, Bolivia

"Hey! That is no way to speak to a duchess!"

Edwin squinted at Hooten, "Ya gotta be kiddin'- this wet rat a duchess?"

Hooten nodded solemnly. Alex took offense, "I beg your pardon, I am no wet rat! I may not be at my best at the moment ..." She pushed a strand of muddy hair off her cheek ... falling face down into a muddy side ditch, had left her perhaps a bit disheveled. She turned towards her alleged comrade, "I thought you said this man could be trusted. Why is he pointing a gun at me?"

Edwin grabbed the front of his dirty red tshirt, hoisting it up to wipe his greasy face and unfortunately revealing his hairy beer gut in the process. Alex rolled her eyes away in disgust.

"Okay, fine .... fine ... your Duchessness ... sit your ass down."

With one hand on her shoulder, he forced her down onto the chair. Her sodden jeans squished against the vinyl seat. She glared at Edwin, "Keep your hands off me! ... Hooten, are you going to do nothing?"

He smirked at her, "See Edwin, royalty! Snooty, in that 'ooh -I'm-oh-so-better-than-you-Americans' way." He flitted his hands about to mock her. "The duchess here is loaded. Fifth in line for the throne. Her hubby, Lord Farquhar will pay a pretty penny for her safe return."

"That's it! I don't know what you're game is ..." Alex moved to get up and was immediately pushed back down by Edwin. She directed her anger at Hooten. "Right. First, if I'm a duchess I'd be married to a duke not a lord. At least try to be consistent. And second, Edward could care less what happens to me. Afraid you won't get a penny out of him."

Hooten looked at her confused, dropping the swagger for the moment. "What happened? I thought you said you two were doing well last time we texted."

"Yes, we still are. He is doing well somewhere far away from where I am doing well."

"Sorry to hear that..."

"It's fine really..."

Edwin grew impatient. "Hey! Stop with the chatter. I'm dying here, Hoot. I don't have time for kidnapping." He was hot and queasy and ready to go home. "How much money you got?"

"You promised us a map to the Potosi mine of El Tío. Where is it?" Alex's imperious tone, even in the most dire of situations, always impressed Hooten.

"Whoopsie." With a gleam in his eye, Edwin brought his filthy hand daintily to his face. "I lied." He grinned. "How much you got on ya? Come on." He waved the gun in her face.

Hooten had enough and stepped forward. "Look, pal, she's got nothing on her but I've been traveling with her and back in her room ..." He widened his eyes and whistled.

"Yeah?" Greed began to seep from Edwin's leathery face.

"Yeah! The duchess here travels with a tiara, full set of jewelry, you know for afternoon tea in the jungle or something ... you know how nuts these Brits are."

The gun dropped lower as Edwin visualized his soon to be life of leisure.

Alex hoped Hooten knew what he was doing and kept quiet.

"So, why don't you stay here and guard her and I'll go back to the hotel, grab the jewels and be right back?" Hooten offered him his most insincere sincere smile. Alex saw through him but Edwin did not.

"Oh no, no you don't. You think I'm stupid or somethin'? You're going to take all them jewels and leave me holding the bag." He waved his gun at Alex.

She took umbrage. "How dare you, you ..."

"Shut up!" Edwin had had more than enough. "Give me the keys to the room. You stay here and guard her."

Hooten put up a semi-believable fight. "No! And have you run off with all the jewels? Nothing doing buddy. How do I know you'll come back?"

Edwin's whole face scrunched as he thought. "I ... I'll leave ya the gun. It's the only expensive thing I got."

Alex tried to maintain a straight face as Hooten mulled over the offer.

"Well..." he drawled. "I suppose that'll work. I can use the gun on her if she tries anything ..."

Edwin nodded eagerly as Hooten dug in his pocket. Keys for gun exchanged, Edwin ran out of the shack before Hooten had a chance to say anything.

Alex stood up and watched the man scurry away. "I must say, you really need to upgrade the quality of your associates."

Hooten grinned at her, "I know.... Lets get out of here before he realizes what just happened." He took the clip out of the gun. "Ha! Empty! Old Edwin is not quite as dumb as I thought."

Alex grabbed her knapsack and headed to the door. He left the gun on the table and followed.

Loaded with over-ripe fruit, wrought iron tools and animal skins, the only one of which Alex could identify was perhaps llama, the wooden cart looked and smelled like something from a Hieronymus Bosch painting. Still a ride was a ride and they needed to get out of Yotola as fast as possible. The mule cart creaked and swayed down the ruts of the small backroad and so did Alex and Hooten, their feet dangling, his almost scraping the ground.

"Do you think your friend has figured out what's happened yet?"

Hooten lay back on the animal skins, wrinkled his nose and sat back up. "Nah, Edwin's not the brightest bulb. It'll take him awhile."

"Why did you believe him then? When he said he had the map to El Tio's mine?" She looked at him. "Most, if not all, creditable archaeologists in the field do not believe the devil's mine and its cache of treasure, exists."

"I was bored. Edwin's usually good for a laugh or two. I didn't really think he'd come through but, I was in the neighborhood ..." He stopped talking and stared at her. "So, why are you here? I didn't invite you and you don't believe the mine exists .... so?" He crossed his arms and waited.

Alex looked up and away and then back at him. "I ... uhm ... I didn't want you to be taken advantage of? You know, with a false lead and all and ...." She didn't believe what she was saying and his face told her he was seeing right through her. "Okay, fine. I needed to get out of London and this was as good an excuse as anything else."

"Mother not happy with you?"

Alex was surprised. Hooten could be quite perceptive at times, in those rare moments he wasn't being self-centered and annoying. "Yes." She admitted grudgingly. "Mum is not pleased with the dissolution of my three month old marriage. Doesn't look good."

"Ah. So if you don't mind my asking, and even if you do mind, what happened? I thought you and Eddie were on the road to marital blissness in that stuffy upper class way of yours. I mean, I liked the guy. He saved our butts in Vietnam while educating those bears on the splendors of fireworks." He smiled at the memory.

"I like Edward. I love him even but not .... love-love. We married each other under false pretenses. He was looking for some way to deny who he truly was and I was just trying to fit into the mold my mother made for me."

She grew silent and he waited. They jostled along for a few minutes before she spoke again. "We've talked it out. It's a perfectly amicable split." Alex took a breath and side-eyed Hooten. "Do you remember Julien? My guide in the Caribbean?"

"Yeah, yeah I do ... the terribly organized guy ... the one who served you drinks with tiny umbrellas while I was cutting my way through the jungle underbrush with a machete..."

"You do love to exaggerate. It wasn't that bad. Anyway, he and Edward sort of took a shine to each other. They corresponded and Julian came to visit and well, they've been inseparable ever since. They're really rather adorable together. I'm happy for them."

Hooten looked confused. "Are you saying Edward gave up you..." he motioned with both hands at her. "You ... He gave you up ... for Julian?"

Her eyes caught his and for a split second they were honest with each other. The moment abruptly ended when the wagon wheel went too quickly into a pothole and they were thrown against the side of the cart and each other. Hooten toppled backwards with Alex on top. The unidentified and surprisingly juicy pile of fruit oozed out from beneath him.

"Dammit, next time you get to be on the bottom." The cart jerked again and his arm instinctively went around her; no sense both of them being gooey. He kept hold of her, just in case they hit another bump.

"You alright?" Alex asked, raising her head in time to see a dribble of juice making its way down his forehead. She reached up and wiped it away. Her hand lingered. He didn't seem to mind. She moved to get off him thinking he must be horribly uncomfortable but his hand at her back encouraged her to stay. Alex lowered her head onto his chest and both exhaled a breath they didn't realize they were holding.

With a sudden lurch, the cart came to a stop and, Alberto came round the back. "Estamos. Vamos. Hay un hotelcito a media milla."

They extricated themselves from each other and the cart. Alberto couldn't help the look of disgust as his passengers, disheveled, mud-covered, and dripping fruit juice made their way off his cart. Hooten paid him enough pesos to cover the ride and the damage.

Alex picked a clump of fruit pulp from the side of his head, "So where are we?"

"The outskirts of the outskirts of Sucre, I think." There was not a building in sight. "He said it's about half a mile that way to a hotel." Night was falling fast.

"Alright then." She hitched up her pack, "I just hope they have running water. No offense but you stink."

Hooten took offense, "I! I stink? Lady, you are in no position to point noses - you smell like Yotola ditch water and dead llama ..."

"Well, whose fault is that. If you hadn't trusted Edwin ..."

Trudging down the dirt road, they bickered amicably to pass the time and bury that all too close moment they just shared with taunts and jibes.