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The night was, as far as Remus was concerned, almost a complete success. Everyone had passed; everything was packed neatly in his trunk for the last journey home in the morning; Dumbledore, James and Lily had spoken well, the food had been excellent, the music was pleasant, and Sirius was neither taunting Snape, nor talking to Amanda Matheson. If Lily would only stop shooting him meaningful glances from where she was dancing with James, Remus felt he would be able to enjoy the party properly.
Sirius returned to the otherwise empty Gryffindor table and plonked himself into the seat next to Remus. While he organised himself another drink, Remus took the chance to notice, once again, how well the dark silver-blue of Sirius robes drew attention to his pale eyes.
"Did Mr Padfoot enjoy his fruitless pursuit of the maidens of this fair castle?" Remus asked.
"You're assuming they were fruitless, Mr Moony?" Sirius replied, with an equally expansive tone.
"Then who's the lucky girl?"
Sirius chuckled, and waved a hand.
"I don't do that anymore," he said. "Retired, as it were."
"Gave up?" Remus suggested. "Or have you been out with every eligible girl in Hogwarts except for Amanda, and our dear Lily, who was so always sensible."
"Until last November," Sirius said. "And Marigold Douglas wouldn't go out with me."
"Hmm," Remus said, unsure how to take the fact the Sirius wished to make a point of it.
But Sirius didn't bother with continuing the conversation. The mention of Lily had naturally made him seek her out in the crowd of dancers, and he was frowning.
"Is Lily making eyes at you?" he asked suddenly.
Remus looked across the dance floor. Lily seemed to have decided meaningfulness was too easily ignored, and was in fact glaring at Remus now from over James's shoulder.
"She thinks she can convince me to… act against my principles and character by looking like she wants to roast me alive."
"With a look," Sirius said, sounding impressed, and curious. "What principles?" he asked.
"Undertaking no actions which will potentially backfire causing embarrassment, public displays of scorn or horror, disillusionment, censure or loss of current comforts."
Sirius was silent for a few moments, and Remus welcomed the relief. But then Sirius, sounding petulant, said:
"That doesn't make any sense."
"You've just drunk too much," Remus told him. "McGonagall spiked the punch."
"McGonagall?"
"She thought it would be funny," Remus said. "And that it would help her get through an evening with Professors Bosse and Ius."
Sirius looked across the hall to where the Defence and Potions teachers were sitting next to each other, but silent, and looking a bit stunned.
"Clever woman," Sirius said.
"Indeed," Remus murmured.
"So if I got drunk without knowing it," Sirius went on, "did you?"
"I don't know," Remus admitted. "I've only been avoiding the punch. What did you spike?"
"I am shocked and appalled that you could suggest such a thing of me, Lupin," Sirius said, sitting straighter in his chair. "I figured you wouldn't actually want any alcohol, and I certainly wasn't going to share my supplies with the unappreciative masses."
"Oh, right, sorry," Remus said, managing to suppress his grin.
"But you might have drunk something else, so you might embarrass yourself anyway. And if that's possible, you might as well break your principles. At least then it will be a deliberate act, and one you'll remember. There's no point embarrassing yourself if other people will remember and you won't. For another thing, it's our Leaving Feast. You should do something you would never otherwise do. Think of it as an experiment of a kind. And if it backfires, you can always blame the alcohol."
Remus turned in his chair so he could stare at Sirius properly. Sirius raised both hands in temporary defeat against Remus's scathing look.
"So what Lily wants you to do," he continued, once Remus had turned away again.
Remus gave an aggravated sigh. Sirius was undeterred.
"It will possibly cause you embarrassment?"
"Yes."
"Possibly draw attention to you?"
"Yes."
"Possibly result in someone publicly scorning you or being horrified?"
"Yes."
"And it will possibly cause you lose some of your no doubt delightful illusions; cause people to censure you; or cause you to be less comfortable than you are now?"
"Yes," Remus said. "And they are delightful illusions, I assure you."
Sirius ignored him in favour of his own thoughts for several blessedly silent minutes.
"No," he said, eventually. "I can't believe Lily wants you to tell anyone about your occasionally hirsute and deadly state. I can't see what else could possibly cause real damage. So on this, possibly our last night together, I think you should do it, while I'm still here to protect you."
Remus raised an eyebrow at the last comment.
"Watch," Sirius amened.
"You're drunk," Remus said.
"But not wrong."
"She wants me to tell you that I'm in love with you," Remus said, glaring back at Lily rather than looking at Sirius.
"But you're not," Sirius said, a statement of fact as dry as Remus's own.
"Well, I am," Remus said. "But the point was rather that it should be my choice to tell you, and not Lily's."
"You're not in love with me," Sirius repeated, as if he were explaining advanced Charms.
Remus sighed. "Well, then, I'm suffering under a crush and lack only the physical strength required to push you up against the wall."
"How do you know that?" Sirius asked.
"Know what?"
"That you lack the physical strength to push up against he wall, Moony. You've never tried."
Remus huffed because he didn't want to sigh again. He brushed aside the argument with a relaxed wave of his hand. Unfortunately, Sirius grasped his hand out of the air. Remus looked at him again. Sirius stood up, pulling Remus up after him.
"What?" Remus began.
"Come on, I'll show you. There's nothing to it," Sirius said.
He started towards the entrance hall, dragging Remus behind him.
"Where are we going?" Remus demanded.
"Outside."
"Why?"
"Because delightful as it is to pushed up against a wall, Mr Moony, it is infinitely more delightful if there aren't Slytherins or people around to witness it."
They reached the deserted entrance hall. Sirius fell back against the wall, pulling Remus of balance to lean against him, so that Remus effectively trapped Sirius against the wall.
"See, nothing to it," Sirius said.
Remus couldn't be quite so casual about it all. And he certainly didn't really want Sirius to be completely casual. On the other hand he was possibly drunk, so when Sirius just waved a hand dismissively and said, "Yeah, yeah. Just kiss me," Remus did.