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Victoria had called him pathetic when he'd left her place that evening, after both her and Bernice - apparently personally offended by their brother's plans for Valentine's Day - had spent the past week unsuccessfully nagging Robert to sign up for the speed dating event that the most desperate of Emmerdale's villagers had organized at the Woolpack.
She obviously didn't know what she was talking about.
What was pathetic, was being jobless and divorced at the age of 29, living out of your little sister's box room in a village that you had turned your back on before you'd even turned twenty, firmly convinced that if you were to ever return, it would be for nothing more than a quick family visit that would double as an opportunity to shove the perfect life you'd managed to make for yourself away from Yorkshire in the faces of anyone who'd ever dared to doubt you.
(Safe to say that hadn't worked out. At all.)
What was pathetic, was a handful of adults spending what was supposedly one of the most romantic days of the year at their local pub, being forced into two-minute-dates with the same five or six people they ran into every other day in the shop while picking up milk. Especially considering that every single one of them already knew every villager they deemed at least somewhat dateable intimately well, at least the ones who weren't too closely related to them to make the relations awkwardly questionable.
(And no matter how excited Bernice was about the potential of a newly-out-and-somewhat-proud bisexual Robert Sugden now having double the dating pool, Robert would rather eat his favourite tie than drunkenly end up in bed with Finn Barton.)
But spending the evening at his favourite restaurant, enjoying a well-made meal on his own instead of being bombarded with forced acts of romance and forced conversation on this hallmark-created scheme of a holiday?
That, that was the smartest decision Robert had made in a long while.
Or at the very least it was the least depressing out of his vastly depressing options, seeing as he didn't have a place of his own to lock himself into with a good boxset and some comfort food while he waited the day out.
So that's how he'd ended up at a small table at “Mario's” in Hotten all alone on Valentine's Day, with a glass of pinot noir filled to the rim in front of him and a delicious lasagne on the way.
“Mario's” wasn't exactly the kind of place one would expect when picturing Robert Sugden's favourite restaurant.
There wasn't much lavish or expensive about it.
(Apart from maybe the prizes on their wine card. But if Robert had learned anything from the five years he'd spent with Chrissie, it was that wine was one thing always worth splurging on.)
Instead, it was a small, family-run trattoria; all exposed brick and wooden furniture. Tables covered in classically red-and-white-checkered cloth and a massive wood stove visible from the seating area that spread warmth and the smell of freshly baked pizza across the room. There were only about ten tables, all except for his own occupied by couples sharing loving looks, fingers entangled on top or ankles hooked around each other underneath of their respective tables.
Robert on the other hand was enjoying the peace and quiet of his candlelit dinner for one, absentmindedly scrolling through real estate listings on the internet while he was waiting for his food.
His dreams of a roomy loft in Hotten or maybe Leeds - paid for by the massive check that was waiting for him once his divorce would be finalized in a couple of weeks, almost a year on from him and Chrissie separating - were interrupted by the jingling noise of a bell as the restaurant's door opened.
Robert looked up from his phone and noticed the man who'd just entered.
The bloke was maybe in his early twenties, short dark hair and a scruffy beard framing his face, his shoulders heaving slightly, like he'd just partaken in a 100-meter dash.
Late then.
His piercing blue eyes were looking around the room, obviously in search of something or rather someone and Robert couldn't help but notice the charcoal hoodie hiding underneath the winter coat he was wearing, an odd and shockingly casual choice of clothing for what Robert assumed could only be a Valentine's Day date.
Then again, the brunet obviously wasn't the only one who hadn't been too bothered with putting an effort into making the evening particularly romantic or special, seeing as the lack of empty seats in the room apart from the one right across from Robert made it blatantly obvious that the guy had been stood up. That, or maybe he was late enough that his date had gotten tired of waiting.
Either way, he was arguably having a worse Valentine's Day than Robert.
In that moment, the stranger's eyes landed on him.
Looking at Robert, the man nodded, a shy, lopsided-grin lighting up his grumpy exterior as he determinedly started to walk in his direction.
Embarrassed that he'd been caught staring, Robert looked down and let his index finger run up and down the stem of his wine glass before taking a large sip, trying his best to seem occupied. Out of the corner of his eye however, he could still see the younger man making his way towards his table.
Christ, he wasn't going to-
He wouldn't.
“Sorry, mate,” the brunet slipped out of his jacket and hung it over the back of the chair before pulling it back and plopping down on it with a thud, “This daft idiot was holding me up at work and then it took me ages to find a parking spot.”
It wasn't that Robert couldn't appreciate a bit of boldness when it came to flirting, he himself had tried his fair share of pick-up lines and brazen moves in his time, but this was certainly far more forward and presumptuous than even he dared to be on most days.
“Oh,” the stranger held out his hand for Robert to shake, “Aaron.”
There was an awkward pause before a dumbfounded Robert gave the stranger - Aaron - a short, firm handshake.
“Robert,” he offered, finding himself rather lost for words for maybe the first time in his life.
“Right,” Aaron smiled, “Thought finding you would be harder. I usually make a habit of actually knowing the people I go out with beforehand.”
That's when it clicked for Robert.
Blind date.
Someone had set this poor bloke up on a blind date and he'd come in and just assumed-
“Adam just told me to look out for a fit, blond bloke in a suit,” Aaron explained, his eyes wandering across Robert's face and taking in every inch of it.
“Process of elimination, right?”
It had failed Aaron miserably, actually.
Not that he knew that.
“Yeah,” Aaron muttered, a bit of shyness seemingly taking hold now that the reality of the situation was catching up with him.
What Robert didn't know yet was that Aaron wasn't a people person.
(According to Paddy he was more of a dog person, if anything, and Aaron figured his dad had a point there.)
He definitely wasn't a meeting new people and dating kind of person. If his track record with Jackson and Ed was anything to go by, stumbling into steady relationships that got far too serious far too quickly seemingly out of nowhere was more his style.
So this whole setup was basically his own personal nightmare.
But seeing as the man across from him didn't seem too enthused about keeping the conversation going, which Aaron decided probably had to do with him showing up far later than anyone could consider fashionable, he soldiered on, trying to to keep the conversation going so as not to land the two of them in a never-ending awkward silence right off the bat.
“Can't believe I let myself be talked into this, really,” Aaron shook his head lightly, ”but ya know, beats third-wheeling your mum or having to deal with all the pitying looks when you tell people the only date you have for the 'big day' is with your XBox.” He rolled his eyes at the words “big day”, accentuating his distaste for the so-called holiday even further with a grunt.
“Right,” Robert nodded. He knew full well that he was a long way off from his usual, charming self right now, but this was uncharted territory.
Aaron was fit. Really fit.
Nothing like the tall, lean business-types that Robert had gone for in the past, mind, but the scruff, blue eyes and deep, warm voice were certainly doing something for Robert.
Which was why he hadn't already cleared the air, letting the younger man know that he definitely wasn't who he was supposed to be meeting for a date tonight.
A better man would have let him know right anyway, initial attraction be damned, because a better man wouldn't trick someone else like this.
Being good wasn't exactly something that Robert was known for though.
And to be fair, the bit of deception wasn't the part that he was having a problem with.
The problem was that Robert had never done this before.
Been on a date with a man, that is.
He'd shagged a fair few in secret, until he'd gotten too audacious for his own good and word about him and Lawrence White's secretary having at it in the bogs at the office had gotten back to Chrissie. It wasn't the coming out he'd imagined for himself, hell, he hadn't ever imagined coming out at all, but the few people who mattered had reacted better to his bisexuality than Robert himself had for the first thirteen years after he'd realized that he wasn't the straight farmer's boy his father would have liked him to be, and now, a year later, Robert felt better and more comfortable in his own skin than he had ever before.
Still, sitting in a restaurant on Valentine's Day with a candle on the table on what any ordinary bystander could only describe as a date was a whole nother level of out and proud.
One Robert wasn't sure he'd reached yet.
But there was just something about Aaron and the way he was balancing on that thin line between perpetually moody and mysterious, the way the permanent scowl etched on his face made the one smile that Robert had inadvertently gotten out of him so far feel even more precious, that intrigued Robert. And it wasn't like either one of them seemed to have anything better to do with their evening, so there was no harm in playing along and seeing where things would go from here.
At least that's what Robert told himself.
Robert's train of thought was interrupted when the waitress came up to their table with Robert's lasagne in hand. She set it down, warning him that the plate was hot, before turning to Aaron, who unceremoniously cut her off with a questioning glance towards Robert, just as she was about to ask him what he wanted to eat.
“Ordered already, huh?”
If Robert didn't know any better, he'd have said that Aaron looked slightly disgruntled, which seemed a bit ironic given that he was the one who'd shown up late for their “date”.
Then again, Robert had no idea how late Aaron had actually been.
Either way, he was just going to have to go with it now. “Well, you were late and I was hungry,” Robert said confidently, raising his eyebrow at him.
Aaron huffed out a laugh at that, finally turning to the waitress. “I'll have one of those as well,” he said, pointing at the lasagne, ”and a pint, please.”
“I've already got the bottle of wine open. We could share, if you want,” Robert offered, but Aaron pulled a face at the mere suggestion, vehemently shaking his head at the girl writing down his order. “I'm good with a pint, ta.”
Not a fan of wine then. Lowbrow.
Aaron was lucky that his dimples made up for it.
Once the waitress had left, he turned back to Robert. “You can thank the wanker with the Porsche 911 up front for me not showing up on time,” Aaron joked in a conspiratorial tone, a glint in his eyes. “Honestly though, who takes up two parking spaces? I had to drive 'round the place twice, before I found an open spot,” he added, annoyance now clear in his voice.
Robert tried his hardest to keep a straight face as Aaron spoke, humming along in agreement before he replied.
“Ya know,” he began, “that car's the only thing of value I've got left after my divorce and the insurance is still under my ex's name, so I'll be damned, if I let some little punk who has only had his license for a year back into it while trying to impress his girlfriend with his parallel parking skills.”
Aaron looked at him in horror and Robert wasn't sure if it was because of the double-parking, or because he felt bad about having rightfully shamed him for it. (It's not like Robert didn't know about common decency, he just didn't care much for it, especially not where his Porsche was concerned.)
“Seriously?” Robert only nodded.
Aaron sighed and looked down at the table, his shoulders slumping. For a moment, Robert genuinely thought that Aaron was about to get up and leave, but instead he just ran his hand down his face, disguising a low grunt full of frustration.
“I'm really not doing great at this blind date thing, am I?” Aaron asked rhetorically and Robert couldn't help but find the way the younger man nervously let his fingers play with the cord ends of his hoodie as he did so utterly endearing.
What on earth was wrong with him?
“Nah, I've had worse,” Robert offered with a bright laugh.
“Have ya now?” Aaron lifted his head again and looked at him with a flicker in his eyes and that, mixed with his teasing tone, made Robert's stomach flip like it hadn't in god knows how long.
“Well, you deserve it with parking skills like that. Makes you look like a right arse,” Aaron chastised him smugly, but the eyeroll added onto it was too good-natured to really sting, so Robert only gave him a shrug in response.
For a moment, the two of them just smiled at each other, but the silence wasn't awkward anymore, the air between the two men now lighter than before.
”Must be nice to drive though, innit?” Aaron spoke up again, “Always wanted a flash car like that, me.”
“Nice?” Robert grinned, recognizing himself in the childlike excitement in Aaron's voice, “Don't be daft, it's brilliant.”
Aaron bit his bottom lip at that, trying to hold back a laugh and Robert couldn't take his eyes off of him, wishing it were his teeth grazing the skin there.
Basically, he was screwed.
From there on out conversation flew easily between the two men.
They talked about the garage Aaron worked at, about their love for vintage cars and about Robert's short stint as a mechanic back in the day. He earned himself a good teasing from Aaron about him having lost his touch over the years, when he explained that he payed ridiculous amounts of money every year dragging his Porsche to the authorized repair shop for maintenance, because he didn't trust himself with it. Robert gave as good as he got though, taking the mick out of Aaron for actually having a top five favourite TopGear episodes. They talked about their little sisters (both absolute nightmares, but also the best people in both their lives) and the correct ranking of all the Bourne films (Aaron wrongly believed Supremacy was the best one of the bunch, Robert knew it was Ultimatum). They talked about Chrissie and Ed, about the time Aaron had spent living in France and about how Robert basically had not seen anything of the “real” Paris - as Aaron called it - when Chrissie had dragged him along to posh restaurants and fancy galleries during their weekend trip there three years back.
Robert made his way through a good three quarters of the bottle of pinot noir and Aaron ordered himself two more pints.
Talking to Aaron was easy and fun and to Robert's luck the unconventional setup of their date barely came up in conversation at all. And when it did - Aaron asking him how he and Adam had got talking in the gym - Robert did what he'd always done best: he bullshitted his way through by tapping into years and years of salesman skills.
By the time the waitress came back to their table, carrying their desserts, they were arguing over the pros and cons of the Rocky spin-off.
Before Robert had even gotten the first spoon of his ice cream into his mouth, Aaron's hand was dangling over his plate.
“Oi! You're the one who didn't fancy sharing.”
(That request hadn't gone over well with Aaron, who apparently didn't share food. Given how fast he'd scraped his plate earlier, that was probably to everyone's benefit, not just Aaron's.)
“You've got one of your own,” Robert playfully batted his hand away before gleefully eating his first spoonful.
“Not chocolate though, is it?” Aaron argued wily.
“Greedy guts.”
“Killjoy.”
Grinning, Aaron went in for a second try, his finger grazing over Robert's knuckles as he did so and the simple touch alone send a shiver down Robert's spine.
Yup. Utterly screwed.
“I need the bog,” Robert announced unceremoniously.
(Or maybe he just needed a second to get it back together, because whatever he was feeling right now was far from the cool, calm and collected vibe that Robert usually went for when it came to dating. The effect that Aaron seemed to have on him freaked him out far more than he would like to admit, but Aaron definitely didn't need to know about any of that.)
“Try and leave at least some of my dessert for me, will ya?” he joked.
“Can't make any promises, mate,” Aaron smiled, scooping another spoonful of ice cream from Robert's plate before bringing it to his mouth and licking it off slowly, a challenging grin adorning his face.
“Muppet,” Robert muttered under his breath as he got up and left for the toilets, the smile on his face matching Aaron's.
Once he was out of sight, Aaron pulled his phone from his jeans pocket. As he turned on the screen, there were ten new notifications blinking back at him. He had two missed calls from his best mate as well as a couple of text messages. Aaron expected Adam to be nosey as per, asking for details about how his brilliant plan was working out.
(Christ, if this thing with Robert were to actually go somewhere - and Aaron hoped it would - he'd never hear the end of it.)
However, when he opened his messages, they told quite a different tale.
Adam 7:41pm
just saw ryan posting pictures of him and a mate at the footie???
Aaron's brows furrowed in confusion.
Ryan?
Adam 7:41pm
sorry bro
Adam 7:42pm
seemed like a decent bloke
Adam 7:44pm
did he at least cancel?
Aaron didn't know what he was talking about, Robert was right here. Things were actually going brilliantly, weren't they?
Adam 8:56pm
did that dickhead stand u up??
No. Adam must have gotten things mixed up.
Adam 9:04pm
where r u?
Adam 9:17pm
aaron??
None of this was making any sense.
Adam 9:34pm
call me
No.
Aaron scrolled through the messages two more times, carefully reading and re-reading as his brain tried to catch up with reality. When it did, his grip tightened around the sides of the table, fingertips trying to bury themselves deep into the wood.
Ryan.
Right.
The bloke that Adam had set him up with was named Ryan, not Robert.
They had talked about it that morning, while tearing apart an old Toyota. About the nice bloke that Adam had befriended at the gym over the last couple of weeks. Tall. Fit. Business type. Into men. Just as desperate as Aaron. (That one had earned Adam a slap against the arm.) And his name was Ryan. He hadn't really thought about it again that evening, what with being thirty-five minutes late and coming straight from work, not even having had the time to take a shower and change. And like Robert had said, process of elimination. Who else was it going to be than the handsome blond in his late twenties, sitting at his table all alone, the only empty chair in the whole damn place right there in front of him? Easy mistake to make. A bit embarrassing, maybe, but it could have been cleared up just as easily.
Could have.
Only Robert hadn't.
He'd just sat there and gone along with it.
God knows why.
Well, Aaron could imagine a few reasons why as anger bubbled up in the pit of his stomach, desperate to be released. Preferably in someone's face, if his temper had any say in the matter.
“Aaron?” Speak of the devil.
“Do you think this is funny?” Aaron spat, getting up so hurriedly that he knocked over his chair. Robert was standing right in front of him now, eyes wide and brows furrowed.
“I don't-”
“You can stuff it, Robert,” Aaron interrupted him before he could even get a word in. The last thing he needed right now were more lies. “Or should I call you Ryan?”
“Ryan?” Robert only shook his head at that, unable to wrap his mind around how on earth the mood between the two of them had managed to change this quickly. They had been fine five minutes ago. More than fine, really.
But the dumbfounded look on Robert only made Aaron angrier, his face growing red as he spoke, his accusations quickly gaining in volume. “Ya know, the bloke I was actually supposed to meet tonight?”
At that, Robert's face fell, the penny finally dropping. “Aaron, I-”
But Aaron still wouldn't let him speak. “Don't even think about lying to me right now,“ he hissed, “Again.”
“That wasn't-” Robert stumbled over his own words, desperate to fix this somehow, “I didn't think there'd be any harm in it. I mean, we've had a good night, haven't we?”
“Are you kidding me right now?” Aaron bellowed and the animosity in his voice made Robert wince, ”You lie to me all night, pretend to be someone you're not and I'm supposed to do what, appreciate it?”
“Aaron, come on,” Robert spoke calmly as he took a step forward, trying to reach for the younger man's arm in a gesture of comfort, but Aaron harshly batted his hand away, taking a step back to put even more distance between himself and his "date".
“Fuck you, Robert.”
Robert saw Aaron's hands then, curled into tight fists against his thighs, and he braced himself for the hit. It wouldn't be his first punch to the face and probably not his last one either. He seemed to have a nick for pushing people to the point where rearranging Robert's nose seemed to be their only viable option. Probably deserved it, if he was being honest, the way he was worming his way through life on nothing but deceptions, lies and intrigues.
A man stepped up to their table then and put a hand on Aaron's shoulder, his intimidating stature and the grim look in his eyes enough to make Aaron think better of it than to shove him off immediately. “Excuse me,” he kept his voice low, every syllable seeping of fake politeness, “but you're going to have to keep it down or I'm going to have to ask you to leave”
“Don't worry, mate. I'm already well on my way out.”
And with that Aaron turned around and left. A hard shove against the door with one hand as he struggled to push the other one back into the arm of his jacket followed by a loud thump as he kicked the door shut behind him with his foot and then he was gone.
“Fuck,” Robert cursed under his breath, his hands already frantically searching his pockets for his wallet as he tried to ignore the looks from the people around him who'd just gotten the show of their life. Once he'd found it, he pulled out a hundred pound note and dropped it onto the table before hurriedly stumbling out of the restaurant.
Outside he was met by a harsh wind. He quickly wrapped his arms around himself for warmth as thick raindrops were starting to seep into his blazer and making his neatly gelled hair press against his forehead. Robert looked around, worried that Aaron had already run off, never to be seen again.
But he hadn't.
Instead, he was standing on the sidewalk next to Robert's car, venting his frustration on the hub caps of Robert's Porsche with sharp kicks.
“Aaron!” Even with the wind picking up around them, Robert knew he'd heard him, but he didn't turn around. Just wrapped his jacket around himself and started to walk off.
“For fuck's sake, Aaron! Wait!”
The younger man came to a stop, but he didn't turn around. Not until Robert caught up with him and put his hand on his shoulder. Angrily, Aaron shook him off and faced him.
“What?” Not even the pouring rain could mask the tears in Aaron's eyes. His face red and scrunched up with a mix of anger and sadness that felt like a punch to Robert's gut.
“What do you want?” Aaron snapped, harshly pushing Robert away from him with both hands.
“To rub it in? Cause trust me, nothing you could say right now is going to make me feel more embarrassed and pathetic than I already do. So just keep it to yourself, will ya?”
Robert frowned, “Aaron, that's not-”
“Poor little gay kid, stood up on Valentine's Day,” Aaron mocked, “Did that make you feel good? Swooping in and playing along. Giving the charity case the time of day,” it was like a damn had opened, the words just tumbling out of Aaron's mouth now, every syllable sharp like a knife.
“Can't believe what an idiot I am. I actually thought we were getting on and having a good time, all the while you-” he sighed, the back of his hand rubbing against his nose in an obvious attempt to try and hold back angry tears. “Bet you can't wait to tell your mates about this one and have a right laugh at my expense,” he spat, huffing a low, bitter laugh.
“Will you just shut your gob for a second and let me talk?”
“Oh, now he wants to talk,” Aaron crossed his arms in front of him in a gesture of refusal, but he didn't leave.
Small victories, Robert thought.
“Could have said something when you realized I'd gotten my wires crossed," Aaron muttered. "Wanker,” he added for good measure.
“So you'd run off and I could spend my Valentine's Day having dinner on my own, like the pathetic failure I am? You're not the one I pitied, Aaron,” Robert spoke calmly, his voice low to make sure Aaron would really pay attention, but the pain his words filled him with was clearly visible in his eyes. “I'm sorry, alright, I really am,” he continued, taking a step towards Aaron “but it seemed worth the risk, given the alternative.”
“You seemed worth the risk,” his voice was barely a whisper now, but he could slowly see the frown disappear from Aaron's face, so he kept going.
“So what if your mate didn't set us up? We had fun tonight, you and me, and I like you, Aaron. I genuinely like you and that means something, because I don't like a lot of people.” There was a hint of a smile on Aaron's face at that that only edged Robert on further.
“Come on,” he pleaded,” how often does this happen? That you meet a random bloke and everything just kind of fits right away? Never, Aaron. That never happens. And I wasn't the only one who felt it, right? I can't have been,” at this point Robert didn't even care much that he was basically begging. He hadn't felt this much of a connection with anyone for ages, not since those early days with Chrissie or maybe even since Katie, and even then, it hadn't been this instant. So whatever this was, whatever they had, whatever they could have, Robert didn't just want to give up on it.
“You weren't the only one,” Aaron mumbled taking a step closer towards Robert, “'course you weren't the only one.”
Robert decided to take his chances and reached out for him, letting his fingers curl into the material of Aaron's jacket right at his waist, pulling him a little bit closer. Aaron went willingly.
“Can we-,” Robert started, feeling flustered with Aaron so close, his piercing blue eyes focused on him, “Can we just forget about it and start over again?”
Aaron nodded slowly.
“I don't like being lied to, Robert,” he argued, his voice clear now, his hands wandering up Robert's arms before finding a steady hold on his biceps. “So don't do it again.”
“I won-”
Robert's promise got swallowed by Aaron's mouth as he closed the space between them and kissed him, his lips pressing against him wantingly, the tip of his tongue softly licking its way across Robert's bottom lip. Robert couldn't help but lean into Aaron's touch. He lay his head to the side a little before letting his mouth fall open, only to feel Aaron's tongue move along the back of his teeth. Aaron pressed further into him, enjoying the warmth of Robert's body under his fingertips.
The rain was almost forgotten as they kissed and kissed, Robert's fingers running up and down Aaron's spine, Aaron's hands finding their way to the back of Robert's neck, the light pull at the older man's hair dragging a moan from his mouth.
“You really need to tone it down with the soppy speeches though, mate,” Aaron murmured against Robert's lips, a lopsided smile creeping on his face as he pulled an inch away to catch his breath.
“Not your thing then, are they?” Robert let his nose bump against Aaron's, his hands leisurely moving down Aaron's back and into the pockets of his jeans.
“Nah, I don't really do big speeches. More of a hands on guy, me,” he smirked.
With that, Aaron pulled Robert in by his dress shirt once more and pressed a soft, close-mouthed kiss against his lips. “That a 'yes' to starting over then?” Robert whispered into the space between them, their foreheads still pressed together.
Aaron's nose was cold from the wind and the rain when it rubbed against Robert's cheek as he nodded, a small smile spreading across his face, “ I s'pose it might be.”