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Fili walked into the dining hall – well, waddled really - feeling completely ravenous. The company looked up from their meals, their eye widening as they caught sight of the blonde, and immediately a chorus of excuses rang out for why everyone needed to leave. They ranged from Dori’s “I’ve got to start sewing some of Ori’s ripped clothes” to Dwalin’s “I need to go kill some orcs” to Kili’s “I’ve got to go…wash my hair. Bye!” Fili rolled his eyes.
“Relax; I’m not going to break down. I feel fine today. Stay, finish eating.” The last sentence was more of a command than a statement, and the company reluctantly agreed, not wanting to anger the pregnant dwarf. They sat back down in resignation, casting longing looks towards the door and silently cursing Nori and Bofur for being the only ones to make it out without Fili noticing.
Bilbo smiled fondly at Fili, placing a gently hand over his protruding belly as he kissed his cheek. Fili smiled serenely before giving Bilbo a quick peck on the lips. The hobbit pulled out a seat for his lover and poured him a pint of milk before taking his own seat again. Fili gave him an appreciative grin; he really was lucky to have such a sweet, supportive lover.
Breakfast was uneventful for the most part, and Fili was surprisingly calm and content. The company started to relax as Fili got closer and closer to finishing his food, as if they could see the light at the end of the tunnel. They were smart enough to avoid commenting on the ridiculous amount of food that Fili ingested, as well as his disgusting habit of dipping his sausage in honey and salt. The blonde finally stood to leave, and they all breathed silent sighs of relief.
Then Thorin had to go and ruin it all.
“You should take a break from your duties today, Fili. You need to get some rest,” he said as Fili was almost out the door. The company froze as Fili slowly rounded on the king. Thorin meant well; he just wanted to make sure that Fili took care of himself and didn’t get overtired; but as soon as he saw Fili’s face, he instantly regretted his words. He tensed as Fili scowled darkly.
“And what is that supposed to mean? You think I’m not capable of doing my work just because I’m pregnant? What kind of double-standard is that? You let Dwalin continue performing his duties after he was injured in the battle, but I can’t because I have a child growing inside me?” Thorin crossed his arms and grumbled something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like ‘curse the fertility of hobbits’, and Fili’s face twisted in rage.
“I knew it! I knew you weren’t happy about me having this baby! What, does it embarrass you that your heir is pregnant? Do you even like children, or were Kili and I just huge burdens to you?! Well, guess what, Uncle? I don’t care what you think, because I am having this baby, and if you don’t like it, then you can just find another heir to your throne, you arrogant old tyrant!” He was screaming harshly, and the company flinched in response.
When he was finished with his rant, the blonde stood with his hands balled into his fists at his side, silently seething, until Bilbo placed a gentle hand on his forearm. He tried to pull the blonde out of the room before the situation could escalate, because it was no secret that the king had a quick-temper, but it was too late. Thorin’s eyes flashed angrily, and before Balin could stop him, the king slammed his fist on the table loudly and stood up.
“Enough! I may be your uncle, but I am also your king, and you will show me respect. I have nothing against children; they are a blessing from Mahal, and it gladdens my heart that I will have a new grand-nephew or niece soon. But what I do have a problem with is a pregnant heir who is acting madder than a dwarf with gold sickness and more irrational than a bloody tree hugger!”
There was a collective groan from the company as Gloin shook his head and Dori sighed. The rest of them were either glaring daggers at Thorin or sinking into their seats as they tried to will the ground into swallowing them whole. They had been so close to escaping breakfast unscathed.
Fili blinked, and then his lip started to quiver and the tears began to flow. Thorin’s temper quickly dissipated and was replaced with guilt when Fili began sobbing into his hands. Bilbo instantly pulled the blonde into his arms, rubbing soothing circles on his back and whispering comforting words into his ear. He placed a soft kiss atop the dwarf’s golden locks, and Fili began to calm down. The company shot him grateful looks as their own shoulders relaxed.
None of them envied Bilbo right now; pregnant dwarves were bad enough, but with the added stress of being the crowned prince, Fili was a complete disaster. Yet the hobbit took it all in stride. He never got frustrated or overwhelmed by his husbands erratic behavior; he simply apologized gently whenever Fili yelled or held him close when the prince cried.
Even when Fili accused Bilbo of not being attracted to him anymore because he was fat (which happened more often than one would expect from the usually arrogant dwarf), Bilbo had simply told him that he was always gorgeous in Bilbo’s mind and then proceeded to kiss him gently until Fili’s protests died out.
The company had no idea how the hobbit was managing so well, but they were all incredibly impressed. Gloin and Bombur, who were survivors of pregnant spouses (or SOPS, as they called themselves), were shocked by how well Bilbo was coping. Both of them were tempted to volunteer for a war (any war – it didn’t even have to involve dwarves) just to get away from their wives by the middle of their pregnancies.
Even Kili, who was practically joined at the hip with his brother, was tired of the mood-swings and took to hiding in other people’s rooms to avoid Fili. He even went to extra council meetings just to get away from his brother; Thorin had been so shocked when Kili showed up at a council meeting that wasn’t mandatory that the king almost fainted.
Fili finally pulled back from Bilbo’s embrace, and the hobbit wiped his lover’s tears away gently. “I’m sorry,” Fili choked out quietly, and Thorin sighed.
“No, I am sorry for my anger, Fili. I should not have insulted you; I'm proud to have you as a sister-son, and I'm happy that Mahal has blessed us all with your pregnancy.” Fili nodded and sniffed.
“I know. I know that I’ve been a little hormonal lately.” The company was smart enough not to point out that ‘a little’ was nowhere near the accurate description, and Fili continued. “I don’t mean to be. I’m sorry. I love you guys.” He started to tear up again, and the company surrounded him to give the hugs that they knew were expected at this point, mumbling ‘we love you too.’ It wasn’t the first time that this had happened, and they doubted that it would be the last.
When Fili was satisfied with the support, he spoke again: “I think I’m going to take the day off from my duties. I’m tired, and I need to rest.” Thorin spluttered, but just as he was about to say something, Dwalin placed a firm hand over his mouth to cut him off. Bilbo nodded to the blonde sympathetically.
“Alright, love. I’m going to bring some more food back to the room, in case the baby gets hungry later, and then I’ll nap with you.” Fili brightened and kissed his lover happily before heading to their room. The company sighed in relief when the prince was finally out the door and looked at Bilbo in awe.
“How do you do it?” Kili demanded in astonishment. If he was Bilbo, he would have been sorely tempted to return to the Shire until after the baby was born.
Bilbo just shrugged and grinned before revealing his secret: “Lots of pipe-weed.”