Chapter Text
Mick had a feeling that Ray would need someone to talk to. After getting back from taking the earth totem, Ray had locked himself in the lab. He had seemed preoccupied with his thoughts when he went inside and Mick had a feeling it had something to do with Nora. Ray’s gun had worked in disarming the crazy witch but Mick knew Ray well enough to know that Ray was bothered by the results. Mick wasn’t really sure what the gun had done to the woman, nor did he really care if it managed to take her out. It would be easier to take down Darhk and Mollus if the demon’s container was gone.
With Sara off with that pretty lady agent and Nate indisposed by Amaya. Mick decided it would be for the best if he went to see how Ray was doing. So, he fabricated a case of beer, taking it towards the lab and opening up the door. Mick peeked inside and spotted Ray as the man moved around the table he had set up to work on. Mick's presence went unnoticed at first and Mick made no move to announce himself. Ray was working on some kind of chemical thing, his brow wrinkled in concentration. Mick took a moment to let his eyes linger over Ray’s handsome face and he let himself smile. Ray looked conflicted about something and Mick knew he should get the man to talk. After being married to Leonard Snart, king of repressed emotions and dodging the question, he was confident he could weasel a conversation out of Ray. He had been trying to get closer to everyone on the team but Ray was a different story.
There was something there that Mick wasn't sure what to do with at times. A feeling he hadn't felt since Len’s death but after coming to terms with his grief, Mick was willing to admit he was attracted to Ray. But Ray didn't seem like he was into men, particularly not men like Mick. Friendship seemed like the best option and Mick was okay with that. The same thing had happened with Amaya and despite knowing the strong woman could do better than Nate, he knew to respect the boundaries in place.
That didn’t stop Mick from basing the main love interest in his latest novel off of Ray though.
“Haircut, want a beer?” Mick asked, finally getting Ray’s attention. The man looked up from the beaker he had been mixing some kind of liquid into. “Everyone’s off doing their own thing,” Mick added with a gesture of his arms, smiling in an almost calm way. Ray blinked a little as if surprised Mick was here at all.
“Just you and me.” Mick said, putting the case of beer down with a clink and taking one for himself. Ray looked at the case then back at Mick before reaching to take a bottle. Mick sat down on a nearby chair, eyes fixed on Ray for just a moment before he popped the top off the bottle.
“Sure. I could use a beer,” Ray replied, still seeming off somehow. “Even if I am your last choice of companion.” Mick raised a slight brow at the other man’s tone. Ray’s lack of self-confidence sometimes made Mick want to roll his eyes. Mick wasn’t exactly the comforting type so he wasn’t about to correct Ray’s self-deprecation or even acknowledge it. He took a sip of his beer, watching Ray do the same over the top of the bottle. Mick looked over the table that Ray was working at, the chemicals lying about in different stages of emptiness.
Ray caught the look Mick gave his project and moved to walk towards it. Mick was wary of the man’s movements, watching Ray’s body language closely. He was acting like he was hiding something, the man opening his arms in a gesture and Mick knew for sure that something was on Ray’s mind. Ray smiled in his awkward way, only serving to make Mick’s suspicions worse.
“Oh, that. Just doing a bit of light theorizing.” Ray explained, trying to seem nonchalant and like it wasn’t anything important. Mick knew better than to assume Ray wasn’t working on something important. His gruff mannerisms hid his concern but Mick allowed himself to feel just a bit worried about what Ray was up to. “And then I had a breakthrough, I’m going to develop a liquid for the perfect dry erase marker.” Mick cast Ray a skeptical look. Did the man really expect him to believe that shitty lie?
“Strong viscosity, clean lines…” Apparently, the tech genius did expect Mick to believe that bullshit he was spewing. Mick gave Ray a fierce look, one that would incline the man to be honest with him.
“You’re a terrible liar.” Mick stated dryly, calling Ray out and the man let his shoulders sink in defeat. He knew he couldn’t lie to Mick but it had been worth a try. Mick was a lot more observant than people gave him credit for. Mick watched Ray sigh, letting the quick moment pass for the man to decide to come clean to him.
“Yeah,” Ray sighed, lowering his hands with a light slap as they hit the sides of his thighs. “It’s Nora, the nanite pistol is going to kill her.” Ray gave a small bitter laugh. Mick leaned forward, looking at the man in confusion. Hadn’t that been what Ray wanted the gun to do? Ray looked guilty; as if he was regretting his decision to use the pistol to save Amaya.
“Which is what it was supposed to do but now I feel…” Ray trailed off for a moment, looking even more conflicted with his emotions. Mick continued to stare at Ray, not fully understanding what the emotions swimming in those brown eyes were exactly but understanding that Ray was different from himself. Mick decided to speak in this small space Ray had left open in his sentence.
“Like a badass?” Mick tried to provide, speaking about the event as he had seen it. Ray had reacted at that moment on instinct, making a quick decision to save their teammate and friend. Ray shook his head, looking up from the piece of the floor he had been staring at to meet Mick’s eyes.
“No,” Ray said softly, eyes casting off to the side for just a moment before staring at Mick with shame and pain in his eyes. “Guilty.” Mick raised a brow, not sure what to say for a moment. Ray was in need of comfort and Mick would do his best. He didn’t like this ashamed look in Ray’s eyes, the light seeming to dull behind them. Ray was always so full of optimism and positive words. The idea of killing someone because you had to, someone who wasn’t a good person was an easy decision for Mick. Ray had to see that what he’d done was for the best, right?
“What?” Mick asked, not fully understanding why Ray was feeling this way. “You saved Amaya.” To Mick, that should be worth taking out such a powerful enemy, for killing an enemy that had only caused them trouble. Nora had almost killed Amaya, something that would have not only cost the team a friend but possibly could have messed up the time stream. Amaya was supposed to go on and marry, have a kid who would eventually give birth to the modern version of Vixen. It was for the best. Ray sighed again, looking a little frustrated with himself more than with Mick. It was like he knew he shouldn’t feel this way but he couldn’t help it.
“I know, I know…” Ray continued, biting his lower lip for a moment before shaking his head. “It doesn’t really make sense except for...I met her...as a kid.” Mick could understand that even if only a little. Kids were a soft spot for anyone, especially someone as kind-hearted as Ray. Ray was a good person and the thought of having to kill Per Degaton back in their earlier days had rubbed the scientist the wrong way even then. To have met Nora as a scared kid, only to have to put her down would probably affect Ray more than anyone.
“Yeah but now she’s all grown up and joined the demon side.” Mick said, trying to comfort Ray with that fact. Nora may have been innocent at one point in time but now, she was a villain now. She wanted to destroy the world with her father, had succumbed to the demon inside her. She was evil. Even more evil than Mick himself was. Ray nodded in understanding but Mick could see in the man’s eyes he wasn’t really believing Mick’s words.
“Yeah, but…” Ray started, pausing in thought for just a second. Mick raised another brow, taking in the soft look in Ray’s eyes when the man looked at him. “But you have changed since I first met you.” Mick stood up, coming closer to Ray and staring at Ray with a look of interest and confusion. Mick watched Ray’s eyes look into his, a different emotion in those brown depths. Admiration and respect as well as...something else that Mick couldn’t place. Ray raised a hand, smiling apologetically.
“And I’d hate to break it to you, Mick but you are a much better person.” Ray said, his words making Mick’s heart rate pick up just a little. Ray hadn’t always been in Mick’s corner but he had given Mick a chance when he felt that Mick could change. Ray was always hopeful, always looking for the good in people in ways that Mick knew was naive. Mick looked away as Ray continued to stare at him. “And maybe, Nora could have become one too.” Mick looked back up when Ray paused, the guilt faltering his voice.
“There was hope for her anyway before I...took it away.” Ray looked away again and Mick found he hated that Ray was feeling this way. He couldn’t really understand exactly why Ray was always so determined to see the good in everyone, he couldn’t wrap his mind around how Ray held onto such fragile hope in a world as twisted as the one they lived in. The minutes passed in silence, Mick watching Ray slowly deflate. He looked defeated and Mick suddenly realized exactly what Ray was going to do.
“You aren’t going back there to save her, haircut.” Mick stated, knowing how dangerous that mission could be. “It would be suicide with Darhk there and what happens if she attacks you after she’s feeling better?” Ray looked up, confused by the concern in Mick’s voice that was only barely masked by his anger. Ray cocked his head slightly, not understanding Mick’s sudden aggression. Mick felt a strange wave of fear grip his chest. Darhk was dangerous even when the whole team was facing off with him. The demon had given him even more power and Mick knew that if Ray went back to help, he would die.
The thought of losing Ray from his life brought up hurt and pain in Mick’s chest. He couldn’t lose another person he cared about. Mick felt his heart squeeze tightly in his chest, heart rate picking up. He wasn’t normally afraid to lose people like this but after all his suffering when Len died. It had taken him three years to even consider moving on from Len, to open himself up to caring about anyone again. He refused to let Ray sacrifice himself like Len had especially not when he had the power to stop him.
“But I have to, Mick. She’s dying and it’s my fault!” Ray tried to defend, Mick taking a step forward and grabbing at Ray’s wrist. “You don’t understand, she was so scared back in 2017. She was trying so hard to fight Mallus and maybe if I save her…” Mick shook his head, eyes fierce with protection. He would lock Ray away if it meant that the man would be safe, he couldn’t lose him…
“No, it’s too dangerous.” Mick replied, gruff and still irritated. “What if Darhk captures you? What if he hurts you for info then leaves you to us in pieces or worse.” Ray shook his head in surprise, not sure what to do with Mick’s sudden desperation to keep him safe. The grip on his wrist made Ray look down for a moment, trying to jerk his arm away to escape. Mick let the wrist fall from his grip but kept his eyes locked on Ray. Ray pulled his hand back and met Mick’s eyes steadily.
“Since when do you care, Mick? We both know concern doesn’t suit your tough guy exterior.” Ray said and his eyes narrowed in slight annoyance. “We both know how annoying you think I am…” Mick shook his head, getting more irritated by Ray putting himself down. How could this man not see that Mick cared just a little? Was his coming here to listen not proof enough that Mick cared at least in some way? Mick may not be as touchy-feely like Nate was toward Ray, wouldn’t hold his hand or let the man hug him. Mick wasn’t a public display of affection kind of person even with Len, let alone with friends.
“Cut the crap,” Mick snapped, own eyes narrowed now. “Yeah, you can be annoying with your stupid need to sacrifice yourself for people who don’t deserve it. That’s why I’m not letting you go. You’ll get yourself killed like you almost did back in that Russian gulag.” Ray squared his shoulders, looking ready for a fight. Mick crossed his arms stubbornly as Ray scoffed in disbelief.
“I did that because it was right and you’re my teammate.” Ray snapped back, his frustration leaking into his normally calm tone. “You can’t stop me from doing the right thing just because you don’t think it’s worth it. I don’t care if you think that she’s beyond saving, I can’t just let her die…” Mick cut Ray off as he lost his patience, grabbing the man by his shirt and pushing him against the table. The beakers tinkled together with the force of Ray hitting the side of the table. Mick glared fiercely into Ray’s eyes, watching them widen briefly in fear from Mick’s sudden manhandling. Ray had seen Mick angry before but never like this.
“I can’t just let you die!” Mick shouted, gripping Ray’s shirt tightly. He hated how desperate his voice suddenly sounded. He had released that emotion he had been trying to hide in his aggression. Ray’s brow wrinkled at the sound. Mick sounded...Scared for him. Mick stared at Ray for another minute, eyes not leaving Ray’s as his grip loosened.
“I already lost Len...I lost my husband.” Mick said, voice suddenly quieter. “I don’t want to lose you too.” Ray blinked, catching the raw pain at the edges of Mick’s words. Ray hadn’t found out until his brief stint as Mick’s partner about just how deep Mick’s relationship with Leonard was. They had talked about losing the people they loved. Ray had lost Anna and it had torn him apart inside. Mick had been more silent in his grief but Ray still knew it had shaken the man, remembered how quickly Mick had turned on them for just one more chance at seeing Len again. Ray knew Mick still had nightmares even when he tried desperately drink them away and still ached for the man he had loved.
“Mick…” Ray said softly, hand lifting from the edge of the table he had been holding onto. Mick’s voice sounded soft, broken. Ray paused for just a moment, considering his next move carefully before reaching out to touch Mick’s face. Mick’s eyes widened for just a moment at the touch and Ray wondered if he had overstepped until Mick relaxed. Mick leaned into Ray’s hand, letting Ray cup his cheek. His emotions swirling in his chest as Ray raised his other hand to place it on Mick’s other cheek. Holding Mick’s face carefully, like something precious. Mick met Ray’s eyes and his hands released Ray’s shirt. Ray’s words caught in his throat, heart pounding in his ears as they stared at each other.
It happened suddenly, Mick’s hands moving to Ray’s hips and their lips crashing together in a rough kiss. Ray’s eyes widened briefly, unsure of what to do before he relaxed in Mick’s grip. Mick’s stubble scratched his face and the man’s chapped lips were warm against his. Mick hummed softly, his heart loosening as Ray’s eyes closed. It was more than anything Mick had been picturing, it was better than his imagination had constructed. Ray’s lips were soft and perfect against his, making Mick’s heart feel like it was on fire. After another moment, Mick pulled away to stare at Ray’s face.
Ray blinked, slowly opening his eyes and Mick let him take a moment to gather his thoughts. Mick stiffened under Ray’s hands, which had gone to his chest at some point during their kiss. Mick was waiting for Ray to push him away. Not even Mick was sure why he had kissed Ray, he had been determined not to let his feelings for Ray show. He had been so careful and now he was preparing for rejection. Mick knew there was no way Ray could possibly return these feelings, not when he had just stated how he didn’t think Mick actually cared about him.
“Oh…” Ray said slowly, as if his brain was still soaking in what had just happened. “I guess I grossly misread why you were so mad about this.” Mick felt his heart grow cold, not sure what to make of the statement. His carefully crafted walls crept back up, eyes hardening. Ray’s head jerked up when he felt the slightest twitch of Mick starting to pull away. Ray’s eyes widened and he gripped Mick’s shirt out of instinct.
“Wait. No, don’t go.” Ray said, keeping Mick in place with an iron grip on the soft grey shirt. “I...I didn’t mean that as in I didn’t like it...I’m just surprised...I didn’t…” Mick was now very confused, trying not to be impatient as Ray continued to stumble over his words. A blush dusted the man’s cheeks and Mick felt his heart soften ever so slightly. Ray had no idea how cute he could be when he was flustered.
“What? That I wasn’t trying to get into your pants?” Mick said bluntly, hands moving back to Ray’s hips and squeezing. Ray squeaked slightly before clearing his throat and opening his mouth. He closed it again when no sounds came out, the gears in his mind turning as he fought for the right words to say. Mick could be so tough but the slightest hint at the wrong words being said might make him pull from Ray. Ray didn’t want to risk that…
“I’m sorry I never noticed before...I just didn’t think you would be interested in...Me.” Ray said softly, his voice making Mick’s heart give the slightest tug. “I mean...Len was your husband and you made it very clear before that I’m not...well, I’m nothing like him.” Ray’s eyes lowered and Mick wrinkled his brow. He knew Ray was nothing like Len had been, from personality to body type. Len had been cold and angry, controlled in every situation and Mick loved everything about it. He had loved Len for almost thirty years, knew Len inside and out.
Ray was a different story. Ray was awkward, smart and full of bright smiles. Those brown eyes filled with hope, showcasing Ray’s emotions to the world if you paid attention. He was so good and kind, a huge heart beating inside his chest. He was caring and positive and everything that Len had never been. Ray could never replace what Mick had with Len and Mick knew that. Ray was different but that was why Mick liked him. Ray didn’t remind Mick of Len, anything they pursued together would be new territory for Mick.
“Good thing I don’t want you to be.” Mick said, his gloved hand hooking under Ray’s chin to draw the man’s face back up. “I don’t want to replace my partner. I like you because you aren’t Len and you could never be.” Ray’s eyes widened again, still unsure of what Mick was asking. Mick smiled with the slightest quirk of his lips before giving his head a shake. Ray was hopeless.
“Stop thinking so hard about it, haircut. If you want me and I want you, the next step is simple.” Mick’s free hand moved from Ray’s hip to his ass, gripping it roughly enough to make Ray gasp and stiffen. Mick grinned at the reaction, eyes hungrily watching Ray’s blush darken and his eyes go half-lidded. “Unless you don’t want me. Which in that case…” Mick went to move his hand away when Ray gripped his shirt harder, moving forward suddenly to press their lips together in another kiss. This one was more desperate and heated.
Mick smirked into the kiss, pulling the man closer with one hand squeezing his ass and the other traveling under Ray’s shirt to run his gloved hand over Ray’s lower back. Ray shuddered and gasped in surprise, giving Mick access to his hot mouth. Ray moaned and his arms wrapped around Mick’s neck. Ray gave into Mick’s demanding tongue, allowing the rougher man to explore and dominate until Ray had to pull away gasping for air. Ray took a moment to catch his breath, his mind reeling from the kiss.
“I...do want this.” Ray said softly, panting and Mick admire how red Ray’s lips had gotten from their makeout. “I do...want you.” Mick’s hands moved to grab Ray by the belt loops, pulling him close enough for their chests to touch. Mick’s eyes were glinting with an almost primal energy and Ray shuddered under the heat of it. He had never had anyone look at him with so much want. Mick leaned forward, nipping at Ray’s ear and scratching his face with the stubble of his five o'clock shadow.
“Then let’s go to your room and I can show you how much I want this.” Mick whispered heatedly, his voice a low rough growl that sent a shiver down Ray’s spine. Mick’s voice was enough to make anyone want to drop their pants for him and Ray felt his body getting hot. Ray had never been manhandled like this before and he was surprised by how much he liked it.
“O-okay.” Ray managed to squeak out before Mick was dragging him down the hall by his belt loops, guiding him into the safety of his room. The door sealed behind them and Gideon made a note to lock it when it seemed the pair had forgotten, politely remaining quiet for once. She couldn’t stop the muffled noises escaping the room shortly after that, unfortunately. Good thing almost everyone else on the team was preoccupied with similar activities.
O0o0o0o0
A few hours later, Ray was resting comfortably in his bed and strangely relaxed. The sheets covering just over his waist while Mick slept soundly behind him. It was dark, the only sound in the room the light snores coming from Mick and Ray found it more comforting than annoying. Ray was content in Mick’s arms, the feeling of Mick’s hot breath on the back of his neck and their naked bodies pressed together. He smiled, cuddling back into Mick’s arms that he had wrapped around Ray protectively.
Ray was sore and exhausted but not in an unwelcome way. Mick’s body was like a furnace, warming Ray’s body and easing his muscles. It had been so long since Ray had shared a bed with anyone, Kendra being the last person to sleep with him. Ray had never thought he would end up in bed with Mick Rory but he had loved every minute of it. Ray smiled at the still fresh memory of Mick’s rough but gentle touches, the way the man had taken care to make everything enjoyable for Ray since he had never really been with another man before.
Ray couldn’t help but let his heart feel light from everything they had done together. The elation he felt from finally confessing how he had felt, from having those feelings returned. Ray never thought that Mick would return his feelings, had pined for Mick after he had given Ray the cold gun, after he had tried to help Ray after he had lost his suit.
Ray’s hand moved along his neck, trailing along what he knew would be dark love-bites in the morning. Mick proved to be a possessive type in the bedroom, hands touching everywhere and leaving Ray’s skin burning in their wake. Ray humming softly to himself at the thought of Mick’s lips and teeth all over his body just an hour before. He had been surprised with how attentive Mick had been with him and Ray felt completely satisfied.
Ray cuddled into his pillow with a sigh, trying to relax. He was tired now but he found himself unable to fall asleep. The thoughts of Nora dying in her father’s arms and the memories of young Nora in an asylum kept flashing into his mind. The sex had taken Ray’s mind off the issue for a short time but now the thoughts were creeping up on him in the dark. He felt his throat tighten, his heart heavy with the guilt of what he had done. He couldn’t leave Nora like that...He had to fix this.
Ray turned in Mick’s arms, looking over the sleeping face of his lover and biting his lower lip. Mick murmured in his sleep at the movement but didn’t awaken. Ray took in the scars on Mick’s face and observed how soft he was in sleep. Mick’s hands pulled Ray closer in his sleep, wrapping him up in warmth. It made Ray’s heart swell with affection, his throat tightening for a different reason now. Mick didn’t want him to do this, was worried for Ray because of how he had lost Len. Ray understood why Mick was so protective but...
Ray studied Mick’s sleeping face, feeling his heart being pulled in two different directions now. He wanted to stay and just forget about Nora and Darhk. He wanted so badly to just remain here with Mick, fall asleep in the safety of Mick’s arms and wake up to Mick’s voice. It should be so easy to pretend that the world didn’t exist, to pretend that he could have something close to normal.
But he couldn’t let an innocent person die. He couldn’t let Nora suffer because of something she had no control over. She didn’t ask to be taken over by Mallus and Ray knew he had to do the right thing. Ray leaned forward, pressing the lightest of kisses to Mick’s lips. Mick stirred, eyes opening half-way in a state between sleep and alertness. Mick grumbled something unintelligible and Ray couldn’t help but smile at him gently. Mick was surprisingly cute when he was half awake. Ray shushed him softly, kissing him again just as gently.
“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Ray said, the half-lie feeling wrong on his tongue but Mick slowly nodded, letting Ray slip from his arms before his eyes closed completely again. Ray released the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.
“Don’t take too long.” Mick mumbled, several minutes passing before the man’s snores returned. Ray watched Mick sleep for just a moment or two longer, his heart felt heavy with this new type of guilt. He didn’t want to leave Mick or lie to him but he had to do this. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t correct the mistake he felt he had made. Ray dressed silently, doing his best to make no noise before he went to the door. He paused for just another moment, turning back to glance one more time at Mick’s sleeping form before leaving the room.
Hopefully, Mick would forgive him.