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The Before

Summary:

Part 4 of "Their Paradise"

Teresa has betrayed them, Minho has been taken, Thomas is at a loss of what to do, Newt tries his hand at being the person Thomas needs, despite all the chaos and grief in their lives.

This is before Thomas and Newt got together, before it was even something they considered, but feelings change when there's only that one good person to bring happiness to your heart when all seems lost.

Notes:

Nothing graphic, it's just underline affection, I would hardly call this a Newtmas drabble, as all they do is briefly hold hands and throw concerned words at each other.

Work Text:

He’s gone.

They took him.

Minho is gone.

Thomas had collapsed to the dirt, sweat and tears stinging his eyes at the words that repeated through his head.  He watched the Berg fly off into the night until not even the blinking lights on it could be seen.

“Tommy, Thomas, we have to go, right now!” Newt had been pulling at his friend, trying to get him to stand to his feet, but his friend remained on his knees, almost seeming to be defeated.  The blonde heard yelling all around him, but all he could focus on was Thomas, he never thought he’d see such despair on his face that rivaled the expression he had worn when Chuck had died in his arms.

“He’s gone,” Thomas whispered, the thoughts voicing themselves now.  He looked up at Newt, hurt bleeding into his eyes; he let his friends down.  He felt Newt’s tight grip on his bicep almost become bruising at this point, and he stood shakily when the blonde was still forcefully pulling him to his feet.

Newt’s dark eyes were harsh, “There’s nothing we can do about it now, we need to go,” he stated firmly and pulled Thomas away from the destroyed campsite, Vince was standing on a boulder, waving and yelling for people to run away, Newt thought he was strong after just losing his partner

Thomas stumbled behind Newt all the down the beaten path, he had no idea where he was going, he only knew that Newt’s hold on his arm had moved down to hold his hand and he was pulling Thomas behind him like a toy wagon.  He blearily looked over his shoulder, the flames of burning cars and drybrush was starting to get further away; they were getting further away from Minho and Thomas’ stomach clenched.

Brenda and Jorge ending up running next to them, Frypan was running next to Newt, Thomas couldn’t look at any of them without wanting to cry, he felt as if he had let them down, he bit the inside of his cheek, stingy tears appearing at the corners of his eyes as he focused on that instead of losing another friend and the harsh, crushing blow of betrayal of another friend.

They ran for almost half the night, their small pack of survivors, it was almost pathetic looking, especially when the majority of them were just stumbling from defeat and exhaustion.  Thomas watched Newt’s limp get worse, but the blonde still held his hand through it, Thomas gave up telling Newt to slow down a long time ago, so when Newt had a shaky step, Thomas squeezed his hand to give him strength to keep going, even Frypan was worriedly watching Newt.

They didn’t stop until they found some decent cover, it was so late in the desert that they could barely see in front of themselves and they had to go off from dimly lit flashlights and emergency glow sticks.  Vince, Jorge, and a couple other young adults went with them to do a sweep through the building to make sure that there were no lurking Cranks, Thomas had wanted to go with them, but Newt had snapped at him to sit down.

Frypan offered them water bottles that were being passed out, he saw that Newt was clearly in pain from stressing his leg, “Let me go see if anyone has anything for you,” he said standing back up and vanishing before Newt could protest about it.

“He’s right, you shouldn’t let yourself suffer,” Thomas murmured, at this point, he was glad that he had actually listened to Newt for once and didn’t leave with the guarding party.  He could feel his adrenaline fading from his system, so he used the last of it to check of Newt, pushing down his coat off his shoulders to check for any wounds, while Newt just grumbled at him.

“I’m not hurt,” Newt snapped, pulling away from Thomas and pulled his coat back on.  He saw the dejected expression filter across Thomas’ face and his mood soured a little more towards himself for causing Thomas even more grief. 

“Okay,” Thomas agreed quietly.  He looked over to Brenda, the girl was giving him a sympathetic look, “Stay here with Newt, I’m going to go find Frypan,” he said to her.  He wandered off through the group of people, he could hear their sorrowful murmurs, some of them crying, while others just quietly stood in place, a vacant glaze in their eyes.

Brenda dropped onto the crate that was next to Newt, “Are you mad at Thomas?”

“What gives you that impression?” Newt said, narrowing his eyes slightly at the girl.

She shrugged at him, “The obvious fact that you just answered with that,” Brenda stated.  “It’s not his fault Minho and the others were taken.”

“I know that,” Newt snapped.  “I’m not angry at him, I’m angry at the fact that we trusted Teresa, we risked our lives breaking her out of the medical wing they had kept her in and then she snitched our location to WICKED!” he growled lowly.  “Now people are dead and others have been taken to be used as bloody experimental cattle.”

“We’ll get them back,” Brenda stated matter-of-factly.

“You sound like Thomas,” Newt grunted.  He looked away from her, “Always bloody eager to get going and be reckless.”

“So you’d rather just leave Minho and those other kids to their sad fate of being experimental cattle?” Brenda demanded.  “With that attitude, they’re good as dead.”

“Shut it,” Newt hissed, standing up despite his leg protesting.  “You know nothing about us, what we’ve been through, who WICKED are, don’t pretend that you know a single thing what’s going to happen to Minho!” with that, Newt turned away from her and stalked away, while ignoring the stabbing pain that went through his whole body with each step.

Brenda watched him disappear into the crowd, a frown on her face; Newt had never been so cold before, but she also did not know him, as he mostly just lingered behind Thomas, whispering things to him or his other friends, she could obviously tell he didn’t trust people easily, and with the betrayal of one of his friends who traveled with him to where they were now, she could understand why he was so upset.

Thomas and Frypan arrived around 10 minutes later, Thomas’ gaze zeroed in to where Brenda was, but he didn’t see Newt anywhere, “Where did Newt go?” his question sounded panicky and he was looking around the area, but he didn’t see the blonde anywhere.

“He got upset and stalked off,” Brenda said, “we got into an argument of his poor abilities to remain optimistic.”

“It’s sort of hard to do in times like these,” Frypan murmured.  He held some bread rolls, he passed a couple off to Brenda before sitting down; he was exhausted and he knew he couldn’t handle tracking down Newt and trying to talk him down from his anger, because when Newt got angry, you let him be pissed and avoided him until he was deemed approachable again.

Thomas didn’t fall into that category of leaving someone alone, he dug in until he got the answer, “I’ll go find him, it’s not safe for him to be on his own,” he told the two others.  He wrapped Newt’s portion of food in a cloth, took a bottle of water, the small ice bag he was holding, and stuffed the pain relief pills into his cargo pockets before taking off.

He searched a while, before moving upstairs, he remembered hearing Jorge saying that the upstairs section was clear and he wondered if that’s where Newt had stumbled off to.  He climbed the half-destroyed stairs and found that this floor was barren, clothing racks lay on the ground, old clothes covered in dust scattered along the cracked tile of the floor.

Thomas passed through what looked like a small café on the far end of the hall, he finally spotted Newt, the blonde was sitting outside on a balcony, he was sitting on an old, wooden chair, staring up at the night sky.  He wished he had found a blanket or something, as it was a little chilly outside, he walked over to where Newt was, his footfalls muffled by the thick layer of dust on the ground.

Newt still saw movement in the corner of his eye and he quickly stood up in fear but relaxed somewhat when he saw that it was only Thomas, he grimaced at the sharp pain going through him again and quickly sat back down.

“Hey, hey, are you all right?” Thomas rushed over to the blonde’s side.  He saw that Newt was squeezing his hands around his knee of his stretched-out leg, Thomas passed him the water bottle he was holding and dug out the pain pills from his pocket, “Take these, a lady who worked with Mary gave these to me, she said they’d dull the pain,” he said, putting them into Newt’s hand.

“Thanks,” Newt mumbled, doing as he was told.  He rolled his eyes when Thomas then was pushing the bread rolls into his hands as well, “You don’t have to fret over me, Thomas,” he curtly stated.

“You’re hurt, so shut up,” Thomas huffed, he saw that Newt had turned to glare at him.  “I’m only looking out for you,” he added more softly.  “You’re my friend, I’m worried about you, okay?”

“You should worry about yourself, you’ll end up getting killed if you try to take care of everyone,” Newt chided to him.

Thomas frowned at him, “If I did, you’d still be in pain, dehydrated, and hungry,” he listed off.  He sat down on the ground in front of Newt, “If you’re upset with me, I’m sorry, Newt…but I will get Minho back, I swear.”

“No,” Newt was shaking his head, “don’t you bloody risk it, Thomas, they’ll capture you too!”

“You want to leave Minho to die there?” Thomas demanded.  “Newt, this isn’t like you!”

“They took Minho to God knows where, we’re here, scared and injured, and you know how difficult it was to just escape the damn Maze!  What if they put him in another one, what if they wiped his memories of us?” Newt shouted.  “He’s gone, Thomas, there’s nothing that we can do,” Newt’s voice was shaking now.

“No, we can and we will save Minho, we will save all of those kids too,” Thomas stated firmly.  He wasn’t going to lose Minho, like they lost Alby, Jeff, Clint, Chuck, and Winston; Minho’s name was not going to be another name to have a line scratched through it, Thomas refused.

Newt let out a shaky laugh and rubbed at his eyes, “I don’t know if I should hit you for being so stupidly sure that we’re going to save them, or blindly follow you into destruction.”

The Runner didn’t know how to answer for that, other than to move over and gently press the small, baggy of ice to where Newt had been holding his leg.  He was tired and he didn’t like seeing Newt fighting back tears, and he saw surprised when Newt dropped onto the ground next to him, Thomas didn’t even need to be told what to do when he opened his arms and pulled Newt close; he just rested his head against Newt’s, trying to keep himself collected, while the blonde cried into his shoulder.

~~~

Thomas roused when he could feel the sun hitting his face and he squinted to look around himself, he had Newt against his side still, a blanket that was an off-shade of blue had been placed over them and that’s when he saw Frypan and Brenda near them, but they were sleeping on mats and covered by blankets.

He found himself on a mat too; he must have been so exhausted that he didn’t feel himself be put onto it, and Thomas swore to himself to never let his guard down that low ever again.  He sat up, it was quiet out and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, he could almost believe that nothing was amiss and that he was off exploring with his friends, until he remembered that one his friends had been taken from him.

“Tommy?” Newt stirred when he felt his human pillow moving out from under him.  He blinked tiredly, his eyes were sore and his chest hurt from the gut wrenching sobs that tore through that night. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” Thomas apologized, he felt his stomach sink when he saw how irritated Newt’s eyes looked and his cheeks were still red.  “Let’s wake the others and get something to eat,” he said when he could faintly hear commotion from the floor below.

Newt nodded and started to roll up the blanket they had used; he didn’t remember Frypan or Brenda coming upstairs, or even being covered in a blanket.  He had exhausted himself emotionally as well as physically, while using Thomas as sobbing pillow, while said human pillow just hugged him tight.

It was during that intimate moment that his feelings for Thomas had changed, Newt didn’t view him as just another Glader, just another brother in arms; he still thought that Thomas was stupidly brave and so lovely to put others above himself, and Newt wouldn’t have changed that for the world.

There was just a small shift to where Newt got a warm, springy feeling in his gut when Thomas smiled at him, or asked him for his opinion, fretted over him, hell, even just sitting in silence with him made this new feeling make itself known.

And it terrified Newt.

Newt woke Brenda and Frypan, the two woke immediately, terrified that something was happening, and Newt wished there was going to be a day where none of them woke up in fear any longer.  He told them what was going on, he saw that they had relaxed that he was just waking them for breakfast and not for them to run for their lives, they quickly folded up their blankets and had to abandon the mats, as they were too heavy and bulky to lug around.

Thomas was guiding them downstairs, he was immediately greeted by Jorge, who was passing paper bowls of oatmeal to him, “Thanks,” he said, giving each of his friends one and settled onto the stairs, his crew mirroring him.

Jorge nodded at him and gave Brenda a warm smile before shuffling off to help Vince with preparations of their new travels and mapping the area out to avoid any new conflict.

Their breakfast was bland and a little watery, but none of them could complain, they were hungry from the night before, the rolls only filling them a little, but they forced it down so they weren’t running on fumes, before leaving their trash and walked off to see if they were needed for any help.

Newt noticed a change in Thomas’ behavior, as the Runner usually kept a friendly amount of space between him and the person he was standing with, but now, Thomas was hovering, he paced in a tight circle around him, Frypan, and Brenda.  It made him a little uneasy because of his circling that would shift to a sudden standstill, standing close to Newt’s shoulder that he could feel the heat coming from the Runner, before pacing again like a protective mother wolf.

Frypan also noticed as he kept raising his eyebrow and would side eye Newt on more than on occasion.  He merely just folded his arms and listened to Vince’s brief of where they were going next, Jorge had found a location that he remembered passing before, and then the remaining Right Arm and outsiders were moving off into the day, keeping low as they went.

“Thomas,” Newt grumbled when Thomas had bumped against him for what seemed like the tenth time.  He heard the Runner’s repeated apology, before Thomas bumped into him again and Newt stood ridged, making Thomas slam into him, while Brenda had to hastily sidestep before she crashed into Thomas and Newt.

Frypan stopped and looked at them in confusion before gesturing for Brenda to follow him when Newt was having a stare down with Thomas, who looked meek to be the one pissing Newt off.

“Out with it,” Newt demanded when they were alone, he didn’t mind if he had to jog to catch back up with the rest of the group, as his leg wasn’t giving him any issues, which was why he started to dial back on the sharpness of his tone, because Thomas had given him some pain killers.

“I’m just watching over you guys,” Thomas said, shrugging his shoulders.

“No, you’re hovering like an overprotective parent,” Newt shook his head at him, Thomas in turn just dropped his gaze to the dirt under their boots.  He hesitantly reached out and gripped Thomas’ shoulder, “Tommy,” he coaxed until Thomas was shyly looking at him, “it’s okay to be scared, especially after what had just happened, all right?”

Thomas nodded timidly, his hands were clenching and unclenching into fists as he fought back a nervous breakdown.

Newt seemed to see that anyway and grabbed Thomas’ hands, the warmth in his belly struck again and he saw a faint blush starting on the bridge of Thomas’ nose to his cheeks, “I can’t promise that nothing will happen to us when we’re fighting to get Minho and the others back, but I promise that I’ll always follow you, I trust you.  You’ve gotten us this far, I know that you can do anything that you put your mind to.”

“What if I can’t though?” Thomas whispered, bowing his head again.  “I let all of you down.  Minho, Aris, Sonya, and so many others were taken last night…I couldn’t stop it.”

Newt remembered seeing Harriett that night, the young lady had been so distraught to lose her friends from her group again, his eyes stung briefly before making himself calm down.  He squeezed Thomas’ hands lightly, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I trusted Teresa,” Thomas argued.

“We all did,” Newt reminded him.  “We thought she was on our side the whole time.”

“I should have known though,” Thomas was shaking his head.  His shoulders slumped somewhat, “When we were in the Scorched, before we found Brenda and Jorge, Teresa and I were looking towards the mountains, she told me that we should go back to the facility.”

This was news to Newt and his lips thinned, “Even so, you didn’t know that she was going to betray us.  I was even reluctant to leave because we finally had a place that would keep us safe, the desert was terrifying, anyone would have wanted to go back.”

“No, we knew the facility was bad, they were coming after us to do stuff to us, she wanted to go back because she said that they were good,” Thomas stressed.  “She told me about her mother, who was infected with the Flare, how she gouged out her eyes, how it made Teresa determined to never let anyone else suffer, she believed that WICKED was good and that they were going to find a cure to save us all.”

“They’re shit out of luck, aren’t they?  I had been trapped in that bloody Maze for three years and they never found a cure and they haven’t now, but I do know that they’re keeping kids trapped in there, trying to find something that doesn’t exist and those kids are suffering for it, we are suffering for it,” Newt was getting upset again.

“But I still should have said something, or told her to go back on her own,” Thomas muttered.

“I know you wouldn’t have let her go off on her own, not after we just lost Winston,” Newt stated softly.  “You don’t abandon people, you never have, you never will.”

Thomas didn’t have a response for that and he felt Newt tug him forward.

“Come on, then, we have a bit of catching up to do,” Newt nodded to the group who were steadily getting further away, even Brenda and Frypan, the both of them were at the very back the group, walking a little slower than the rest so that Newt and Thomas wouldn’t lose sight of them.

“Newt,” Thomas said, taking a small step forward, he saw the blonde stop and turn to look at him.  He still had his hand in Newt’s paler one and he squeezed it gently, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Tommy,” Newt smiled in what seemed like a long time, and it made him happy to see the relief in Thomas’ eyes.  He still held Thomas’ hand even when they did a slow jog back towards the group that were just blurry figures in the distance at this point, but they knew they’d catch up and that they were on their way to a safer location, even if took some time to get there.

Thomas could feel a change in him, a pleasant one, he felt it carry him, keeping him light on his feet when Newt was by his side; he knew that he could save Minho, Aris, Sonya, and the rest of those kids from WICKED, he knew it would take some time and extreme planning, but it could be done, Newt trusted him and their friends had faith in Thomas as well.

They would win.

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