Chapter Text
Peter unbuttoned the first button of his dress shirt. He was so nervous he felt like he would combust into a ball of sweat. His hands were uncomfortably sweaty, he wondered if Mr. Stark forgot to turn on the air conditioner. He wiped his hands on his black pants and forced himself to appear confident. He spotted Thor or, rather the opposite actually.
"Man of Spiders!" He roared. Nobody seemed to notice but Peter tried to shush him anyway. Lets say it didn't work. "Lets have a chat, young one."
After acouple hours of eating and talking about himself to Mr. Stark's friends, he finally get a rest. He stripped himself of his coat jacket and he was so hot that he unbuttoned the white dress shirt.
"Aye!" Mr. Stark said, shoving a finger in his chest. "Put your clothes on! What do you think this is?"
Peter mumbled a retort, but MR. Stark ignored it as he buttoned his shirt up a few buttons. He caught Steve Rogers looking at him. He raised his eyebrows at the tall man. "Yes?"
"Have you ever tested your strength?" Mr. Rogers asked. "Shake my hand."
Peter thought this was odd, but his spider sense didn't act up so he did as the man told him.
"Leave my kid alone, Rogers!" Mr. Stark yelled from the other room.
The other Avengers were watching intently as Steve made Peter do basic tests like picking up chairs and tables.
"What the fuck is Thor's hammer doing here?" He asked to anyone, looking at he huge thing. It was beautiful, with a leather strap wrapped around it for easy lifting.
"I wouldn't lift it. It's-"
Peter picked it up and threw it around from hand to hand. "This is so cool! It looks so heavy and..." He stopped his own flow of words by everyone else's faces. "Was I not supposed to touch it?" He asked, horrified he did something wrong. He looked at Thor who had a similar look. "I'm so sorry Mr. Thor, sir! I didn't mean to, honest!"
Mr. Stark was the first to speak. "I guess he rules Asgard now." He was laughing hysterically, tears coming down his cheeks.
"Huh?" He asked, putting down the hammer. It shined in Peter's wake, so pretty.
"I am going to kill myself!" Clint said, disgust and multiple other emotions clouding his voice. "How the fuck-"
"Language." Mr. Rogers scolded. "How's it feel to be a king, Peter?"
Peter laughed nervously. "What's going on?"
Thor looked angry. "You lifted Mjölnir. We must go at once, you must be un-purified." He grabbed Peter's arm, Mr. Stark grabbed his other. Oh god, he thought. They're gona rip me in half. I will be Armless Pete if they don't-
"Let him go, Thor." Mr. Stark said, his voice was an octave lower than usual. "He doesn't even want to be king, right kid?"
Mr. Stark was glaring at him along with every other Avenger. He gulped. "Right." He squeaked.
Thor released his arm and grumbled. "In all nine realms, every contender hasn't picked up Mjölnir yet." He pouted.
Bruce rubber Thor's arm in earnest. "It's okay, man. It's just Peter."
"Hey! What do you mean-"
Tony smacked the back of his head before he could finish. "Shut up if you want all of us to live, Parker." Peter sighed, pouting just like Thor was.
Everyone decided at that point, they needed a drink.
"Mr. Stark, can I see if I can get drunk?"
He stroked his goatee, pondering. "Let me think about it." He said. "No."
"Why?"
Mr. Stark glared at him. Peter backed away so he didn't get smacked again. "I can think of so many reasons not to let you do that. Lets start with the fact that you are 12."
"I'm seventeen." Peter said, matter-of-factly.
"Still underage." Mr. Rogers pointed out. He glared at the man.
"Maybe it's not a bad idea." Clint said, earning a loving look from Peter and a terrible one from everyone else. "I'm just putting it out there. He either does it at some high school party and gets some girl pregnant or he does it while were watching him."
Peter scrunched his face. "I wouldn't do that."
Clint shrugged. "How do you know though?"
"Don't encourage this!" Mr. Stark told him.
"I'm Spider-Man though!"
"You won't be if you get alcohol poisoning." Mr. Stark was fuming. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Or if I murder Mr. Barton right here."
Peter was confused now."Why wouldn't I be Spider-Man then?"
Mr. Stark dead-panned. "No witnesses." He ruffled Peter's hair and smiled despite the threat. "Scram. The adults have to talk for awhile."
He said his goodbyes to everyone and apologized to Thor. He still wasn't happy with the whole ordeal.
Mr. Stark grabbed him before he could step into the grey elevator. His hand was clutching the front of Peter's shirt and they were nose to nose. He could smell his mentor's peppermint gun and see the beads of sweat on his forehead. Huh, it wasn't just me, he though numbly.
"I'm serious about the drinking, kid." He said in a suspiciously parental tone. "If I found out you've been drinking I will kick your ass back the Queens, got it?"
Peter nodded and smiled. Tony did too, clapping him on the back. He finally stepped into the elevator.
-
Peter slipped on his Spider-Man mask, almost smacking against his bed frame. He giggled. "Karen?"
"Yes, Peter. You seen intoxicated. Blood Alcohol Level seems to be 2.7%, shall I alert Mr. Stark?"
"No!" He yelped. "How do I get it out?"
"Get what out?"
"Peter?" Mr. Stark asked, opening the door to the dark bedroom. His worried expression turned blank. "You're drunk, aren't you."
Peter smirked and giggled, unable to contain himself. "Sorry, sir." He slurred. "Don't kick my ass too hard, I don't have anywhere in Queens to go anymore!"
Tony sat on his bed and rubbed his back. "I won't Pete, not tonight." He seemed sad, now. His initial anger had disappeared. Peter leaned into Mr. Stark, a sudden sadness coming over himself, too.
"I'm Sorry Mr. Stark." He whispered into the mans shoulder.
Mr. Stark ran his large hands through Peter's knotted and messy brown curls. "You're okay."
"This feels like home, now, sir." Peter wouldn't ever say that without the alcohol coursing through his blood.
Mr. Stark smiled at Peter and pulled him closer if it was possible. "It wouldn't be home without you, kid."