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"Wait," she demanded.
The woman hesitated from her pursuit out the back door. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't even supposed to be here, let along for this long. It was hard enough doing what she had to do, staying away from her, without having to see her face on someone else. But this? Being here, now? It just made staying away so much harder.
"Sarah, I-" she started, wanting to explain why she couldn't stay here any longer.
"I said wait!" Sara was unrelenting. "Fuck, Delphine," she cursed, running a hand through her mane of hair. "Can you just stop for a minute and explain what's going on?"
Delphine finally turned from her path, actually facing Sarah head on for the first time that night.
"I know you want answers-" she began, about to let Sarah down easy.
"You're goddamned right, I want answers!" Sarah bellowed, her frustration with the situation continuing to mount. "Last we knew, you were dead. Last Cosima knew. And now, what? You're sneaking around with S, running your own game? Well fuck that."
"Sarah-" Delphine tried again.
"No. Don't fucking start with me right now." Sarah advanced on the blonde, backing her into the counter in her foster mom's kitchen. "Just give it to me straight." Her voice lowered, she interrogated her unwanted guest. "What are you up to?"
As Sarah bore into Delphine's clear blue eyes with her own stormy brown ones, eyes that looked exactly like those on the face of a woman far from this tiny kitchen in Canada, Delphine felt herself begin to break. Defeated, she slumped against the counter, feeling it digging further into her hip.
"I-" She bit back a sob. "I just want to protect her. I have to protect her. All of you. She said-" Sarah's eyes calmed, warmed, and Delphine felt for the first time like she could actually be honest with this unpredictable tornado in her love's family. "She said, if I loved her, I had to love all of you," she finished in a whisper.
Sarah froze. She didn't fully understand what Delphine and S were up to, but she did understand the look in Delphine's eye in that moment. At first glance, it was fear. The woman she loved was stranded alone on the other side of the world, and she was here doing all she could to pull strings from the background. Alone. Scared.
But then Sarah looked deeper. Delphine was in this, same as the rest of them. She may not have been born into it, but she didn't have a choice either. Not any more than Sarah, or Felix, or S or... Delphine was family now, fighting this fight right alongside them. Just as desperate for this all to be over, for them to win. To finally be able to have a peaceful moment with the ones they love.
And Sarah could see it all - her passion, her need, her... lust.
Delphine's look was pleading. Sarah imagined her own was too. They were both missing someone. Someones. After everything, despite all the issues they had with each other, the firm belief that their own ways of handling things were superior, under all of that, they both loved her.
That was what Sarah held onto as she crashed their lips together. As stupid as this was, as insane as it felt to be doing this right now - teeth clashing, clothes ripping, skin revealing itself to the cold air, fumbling steps up creaking stairs, bruising touches - it at least made a little bit of sense since they both had to be without her.
Sarah was panting. She reached up and brushed the sweat-soaked hair from her face with a huff. She could hear the shifting of sheets and the matching pants of her bedfellow beside her.
"So," Sarah started.
"So," Delphine replied with a half laugh. They weren't touching anymore. Could barely look at each other now that the only thing covering their naked bodies was the thin twin sheet over the bed that Sarah had slept in as a child. Both of these were a feat considering the lack of space in the tiny bedroom. After a moment, Delphine continued in a much smaller voice. "Did we fuck up?" At that, Sarah finally did look over.
"No. No, we-" Another pant. "This may have been fucked up," she said with a barked laugh, "but we didn't fuck up. Maybe this was a long time coming. All things considered."
"How do you figure that?" Delphine asked.
"All that pent up tension was bound to work itself out one way or another. And I think both of us prefer the method of fucking it out over the alternative."
"True," Delphine conceded. "Rachel's style is more the alternative."
"Helena's too," Sarah added with a fond smile.
"Still..." Delphine trailed off, a faraway look in her eye.
"You're thinking about Cosima." It wasn't a question.
"Oui," she admitted, glad to finally have it out in the open, her name spoken out loud for the first time that night. It made everything so much more real.
"How'd you guys leave things? Before... ya know."
"We weren't- We didn't- There wasn't really an 'us guys' at the time," she finally said, struggling to make Sarah's words sound natural with her accent.
"Well if you ever want that to change, I suggest you not keep letting her think you're dead. Just a thought."
Delphine fidgeted with the sheets while she thought of how to move forward. Of course she wanted that to change, but was it possible? Was it safe? Or was Cosima better off far away from her, thinking she was gone, thinking she was on her own.
"It doesn't do her any good to think you left her. She'll be royally pissed when she finds out. Especially when she finds out you haven't gone back for her in all this time."
"I-"
"No, stop. I know what you're gonna say. You think she's better off right now. That you can get more done if it's just you. But it's just an excuse- and a shite one at that. You know how I know? Because I've spent my whole life thinking it was just me against the world, and when I finally decide to be a right mum to my kid, life comes and kicks me in the ass. It would have been so easy to walk away and decide she was better off without me. But she's not. Because I love her. We all do. And we're better together. So get your head out of your ass and do right by my little nerd hottie."
"You're insufferable, do you realize?"
"Yeah, well, you slept with me anyway, so."
They both smiled at that, laughing softly until the situation caught up with them and their laughs became full. Fuller than they'd laughed in so long. Great belly laughs that turned a bit manic when they thought back to all there was left to battle in their lives. But at least one thing was certain.
"I'll bring her home. I promise." And Delphine swore it was a promise she would keep.