Work Text:
New Photo Post on 19 July 2018 by Charles F. Xavier
{photo description: a little brown teddy bear on a table, with a red bow around its neck, leaning up against an Oxford tea mug}
Hello, friends! I found this bear on my way out of work today. Nearly ran over him with my chair! :( He was on the floor near the Rose Center entrance of the Museum of Natural History when I left work at about 6 pm today. His name is Kristoff, according to his tag. Please contact me if you know anything about his owner! In the meantime, Kristoff has a few words he’d like to share with you :) :
Hilfe! Hilfe! Ich bin Kristoff und ich suche mein Kind :( Mein Etikett ist auf Deutsch, deshalb denke ich, dass vielleicht mein Kind Deutsch ist. Leider, when I fell on the floor, I must have hit my head reeeally hard because I’m having a hard time remembering how to speak German! :o Just in case… please help, I’m Kristoff and I’m looking for my little boy or girl :( My tag is in German, so maybe my owner is German? Who knows! Thankfully, I found a really cool foster family and Charles, the man who found me, is dusting off his old German textbooks from university to help me brush up, so I’m ready when my child finds me again. Please help me find my child and share this post! :) Vielen Dank!
New Comment at 21:38 from David Haller Xavier
You are so weird, Dad…
Reply at 21:43 by Charles F Xavier
You would have been distraught if you’d lost Monsieur Duck as a little boy!
{comment has 1 angry react by David Haller Xavier, 2 love reacts by Mystique Raven Darkholme and Gabrielle Haller, and 1 laugh react by Ruth Aldine}
New Comment at 23:06 from Mystique Raven Darkholme
He has a Brotherhood patch sewn onto his paw! I’ll ask around and see if any of my friends know anything
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New Photo Post on 23 July 2018 by Charles F Xavier
{photo description: Kristoff the bear sitting on top of a Disney’s Frozen blanket, next to a closed German textbook}
Hallo! Kristoff here :D Ich studiere fur mein Kind! Liebe Kind, ich vermisse dich! Bitte, finde mich! :’( I’m hard at work for when my owner finds me again… Nothing yet, but thank you everyone for sharing my post! My foster brother helped me realize I’m probably named after the Disney character, so I’m hoping napping with this blanket will jog my memory. If it jogs your memory and you think you might know my child, please let them know that I miss them so very much and to have their Mommy or Daddy contact my foster father Charles so I can go home!
My foster home is treating me very well, but there’s nowhere like home and I wish I could sleep in my cozy bed at home tonight. Charles says I can stay here as long as I need, but I’d much rather be with my child. Thanks for sharing so far, maybe today will be the day I find my child again! <3
New Comment at 10:13 from Jean Grey
Professor, you are so extra! Cute bear, hope you find the owner soon.
{comment has 3 laughing reacts from Scott Summers, Kurt Wagner, and Jubilation Lee, 1 like from Charles F Xavier}
Reply at 13:28 by Charles F Xavier
I’m not extra! It’s all Kristoff, I merely leave my account logged in for him. Thanks for the well wishes. Hope your internship is going well!
New Comment at 11:57 from Kurt Wagner
Would ‘Kristoff’ like some help with his German in his next update?
{comment has 1 wow react from Mystique Raven Darkholme, 2 laugh reacts from David Haller Xavier and Jean Grey, 1 heart react by Irene Adler and 1 angry react from Charles F Xavier}
Reply at 13:31 by Charles F Xavier
Kristoff just called me. He’s very upset with you for passive aggressively judging him. Tell your mothers I say hello.
Reply at 13:49 by Mystique Raven Darkholme
That’s our boy @Irene Adler :’)
Reply at 14:23 by Irene Adler
Kristoff, please accept my son’s gracious offer. @Charles Xavier
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New Photo Post on 31 July 2018 by Charles F Xavier
{photo description: Kristoff the bear is sat on Charles’ desk, sporting a new t-shirt with the Museum of Natural History’s logo}
Gut Morgen, meine Freunde! Es ist schon August und ich habe noch nicht meinen Kind! :’( Ich will meine Familie… It’s nearly August and I still don’t have my child yet! I want to see my family so badly, I think it’s making my head so fuzzy, that my German hasn’t gotten any better at all, no matter how much I study. Hopefully, my family finds me soon and they can help me remember. Dieser ist so traurig, Alexa, spiel 99 Luftballons. (My foster brother says that’s a meme. I don’t really know what a meme is, but he simply insisted I include that in my post. Maybe my child likes memes, too!)
I was so sad this morning, Charles - my foster father! - brought me to work with him and got me this neat new t-shirt. I can’t wait for my family to find me and see how groovy I look! Do you know anything about my family? Reach out to this profile if you do!
New comment at 9:17 from David Haller Xavier
so sad…. Alexa play despacito :/ sad reaccs only
{comment has 29 sad reacts, 13 angry reacts, and 3 love reacts}
New comment at 9:52 from Irene Adler
Please let us help you with the German, Charles. We’re begging you.
{comment has 1 sad react from Kurt Wagner and 2 laugh reacts from David Haller Xavier and Mystique Raven Darkholme}
Reply at 11:39 by Charles F Xavier
I would love your help! Unfortunately, Kristoff makes the posts, and he says no thanks.
Reply at 12:02 by Kurt Wagner
Kristoff…. Kristoff PLEASE
New Comment at 10:04 from Gabrielle Haller
Can you believe some ladies in my synagogue that don’t even know you or me were talking about this yesterday? All the way in Israel! Best of luck, Kristoff and Charles.
Reply at 11:43 by Charles F Xavier
Great to hear, Gaby! Hoping we find the family soon!
Reply at 17:29 by David Haller Xavier
Ma, do you see the crazy I have to put up with when I’m with Dad? :/ Help!
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New Photo Post on 5 August 2018 by Charles F Xavier
{photo description: David playing X-Box while Kristoff is propped up on his lap. He’s staring at the television and doesn’t seem to notice the camera}
Hallo! Ich bin so glucklich, weil mein Foster Familie so nett sein. Ich liebe David, der Sohn von mein Foster Vater. I was starting to forget how to play and cuddle, so my foster brother let me cuddle with him while he played his teenage games. I’m so glad that when my child is a teenager, they will still find time to be with me, even if they say they’re too cool for it now that they’re older. If this has to become my forever home, it might not be so bad, but I hope I find my family soon… Thank you everyone who’s shared my story so far!
New Comment at 15:30 from Gabrielle Haller
Handsome boy you’re hanging out with, Kristoff! He’s getting so big <3 <3 <3
{comment has 1 angry react from David Haller Xavier and 2 love reacts from Charles Xavier and Ruth Aldine}
Reply at 15:37 by Ruth Aldine
I think @David Haller Xavier is handsome too, Ms. Haller. He should post more pictures don’t you think?
Reply at 15:44 by Gabrielle Haller
Most definitely! @David Haller Xavier
Reply at 16:09 by Charles F Xavier
David’s a handsome lad. Takes after his father.
Reply at 18:59 by David Haller Xavier
I hate all of you… @Ruth Aldine @Gabrielle Haller @Charles F Xavier
New Comment at 15:57 from Kurt Wagner
Maybe Kristoff’s family can’t find him because they don’t understand whatever it is you’re typing in that first line.
{comment has 2 laugh reacts from Mystique Raven Darkholme and David Haller Xavier, 1 angry react from Charles F Xavier, and 1 love react from Irene Adler}
New Comment at 18:41 from David Haller Xavier
You promised you wouldn’t put this picture up! wtf dad :/
Reply at 19:14 by Charles F Xavier
You made me promise. Not Kristoff.
New comment at 22:08 from Edie Lehnsherr Eisenhardt
Hello! I would like to whoever currently has this bear a few questions about his tag. Where should I reach out?
Reply at 22:15 by Charles F Xavier
PM sent! Check your inbox @Edie Lehnsherr Eisenhardt
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from: [email protected]
to: [email protected] m
cc: cxavier1@amnh. org
subject: Wanda’s Bear?
Liebe Erik,
Hello, my darling boy. I hope everything is going well for you over there. Call your mother more often!
I saw this post going around the Facebook (facebook.com/charles.xavier/post/40981) and thought it looked an awful lot like Wanda’s bear! I reached out to the man - Charles Xavier, a very nice boy, really a mensch through and through, be nice to him! - in a PM (that stands for private message, boychik) and verified the details and I think it is Wanda’s bear. I cc’ed him to this email, so you can get Kristoff back.
Call me tonight!
Mama
from: [email protected]
subject: Re: Wanda’s Bear?
Mama,
We’re doing well. I promise we’ll Skype soon, we’ve simply been busy with the move. That is indeed Wanda’s bear and I’ve made arrangements to get him back. Thank you for the link.
Love,
Erik
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New Photo Post on 9 August 2018 by Charles F Xavier
{photo description: Kristoff being held by a grinning little girl, standing outside of a cafe.}
I found my family! Heute ist der beste Tag meines Lebens. I’m a very happy bear today :) It turns out, my little girl’s Daddy doesn’t have a Facebook, which is why it took so long to find me, even though she only lives in a different borough. It turns out, my girl even has a twin brother with a bear of his own, so I’m going to be doing lots of playing now that I’m back home. Thank you everybody for your help! Charles will be taking over his account as usual again. Auf wiedersehen!
x
Charles here! Thank you all for your help in getting a little girl her teddy bear back. :) Expect my news feed to return to its normal, boring state.
New Comment at 8:46 from David Haller Xavier
we’ll miss ya, kristoff. happy trails
New Comment at 8:54 from Mystique Raven Darkholme
Love a happy ending!
New Comment at 9:12 from Edie Lehnsherr Eisenhardt
Such a mensch! <3 You and your son have to join our family for Rosh Hashana. A Kristoff reunion!
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from: [email protected]
subject: friend request
Erik,
Hello! I’ve just noticed a friend request of yours in my inbox. I’m terribly sorry if it’s been sitting there a while and you’ve been waiting ages to get Kristoff back. I don’t check requests all too often. But also, your mother mentioned you have no Facebook, so if it’s an impostor, perhaps look into it!
Charles
from: [email protected]
subject: re: friend request
Charles,
No, it’s a new request and yes, my mother was right. It’s a new account. Was hoping to reach out to you over there. Seemed more personal than a work email.
Erik
from: [email protected]
subject: re: re: friend request
Erik,
Oh! I understand now. Don’t worry about the work email, all my colleagues find the Kristoff Saga quite amusing. Was something wrong? Was Kristoff missing anything? I didn’t find him with any accessories, but I can scour the lost and found, just in case.
Charles
from: [email protected]
subject: re: re: re: friend request
Charles,
I was actually hoping to arrange to take the handsome gentleman who saved my daughter’s teddy bear out to dinner.
Erik
from: [email protected]
subject: re: re: re: re: friend request
Erik,
Oh. Check your PMs.
Charles