Chapter Text
Louis runs out of his front door into the pouring rain, almost tripping over his untied shoes before making his way to the idling black SUV that is waiting just outside the gate to his property. Only London would have bloody rain in the middle of November. Just recently all members of the Band decided to get their own houses that were not in the same complex, Liam being the one who lives the farthest away from everyone. It wasn’t like they all felt the need to distance themselves from each other. They Just felt like it was the right time to be more private and it was less of a security risk. When they all lived in the same area, four houses all behind one gate, there were fans always lined up on the other side of the gate trying to catch a glimpse of one of them. Now no one but people who need to know and close family know where each band member lives.
Once Louis makes sure that the gate is locked properly behind him, he climbs into the black SUV, quickly finding an empty spot to park his butt for the ride over to Simon’s office. Still rubbing sleep from his eyes as the vehicle starts to move. “What’s up with management always calling us into meetings so bloody early in the morning?” Louis asks the other three in the car. All he gets are grunts in reply, everyone in the car feeling just as tired as he was.
The ride over is completely silent, everyone either leaning against a window or a shoulder to fall back asleep on. Louis finds himself leaning against Harry’s shoulder, nuzzling a bit knowing Harry wouldn’t mind him getting cuddly seeing as Harry was just as cuddly and affectionate with everyone in the band. Just as Louis shuts his eyes, all wet from the rain yet warm with Harry’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, the SUV comes to an abrupt halt causing Louis’ knees to slam into the back of the seat in front of him and his head to whip forward causing a sharp pain in the left side of his neck. I guess that’s what I get for not wearing my seat belt , Louis thinks as he tries to cuddle back into Harry after making sure his neck and knees were ok. “C’mon Lou, were here. We need to get out.” Harry says and shuffles away from Louis. Louis groans because of course he had to be the last one to get picked up out of the four of them because he lived closest to Simon’s office. Thus, he couldn’t get anymore shut eye like the others did.
All four of them climb out of the car directly into a puddle and rush to get inside of the building so they didn’t get soaked, some man in black standing by the open car door with an umbrella to give more cover from the downpour. It's a huge glass building with security guards at the front and even metal dectors as well. Recording studios were located on the first few floors, board rooms on the next couple floors. Then it's an array of offices for anyone who works in the building. Once inside, Liam leads them to the elevator and they all pile in sluggishly, still half asleep. “I want to be back in me own bed right about now,” Niall grumbles as the elevator starts to move, getting them closer to the top floor because Simon just had to have an office at the very top. "It was such a good sleep too, now that we have some time off the catch up on sleep."
“I think everyone in this elevator agrees with that statement mate.” Louis says from where he’s leaning against the wall. “I was so happy to get two weeks off before we start the North American leg. I thought it would be two weeks of no work, so why the hell has Simon called us in, five days into our break? I knew it was too good to be true.” Louis feels a warm hand grab his shoulder ready to remove it, he looks to see Harry’s hand so Louis decides to not shrug it off, never the one to deny any affection from the younger boy. Louis’ always had a soft spot for the lad.
Shortly enough, Louis finds himself seated across from Simon with not only his other band mates but also with three fourths of the backing band as well. Josh the drummer, Sandy the bassist, and Jon the pianist and music director. Dan was not here which strook Louis as odd. Dan was never late or missing from any meetings or, if Louis’ memory serves him right, any shows even if he was sick.
“Lads, thank you for coming in very early on your break, I’m glad none of you had decided to leave the country.” Knowing more than half of the young men sitting across from him owned houses in America, Simon says once everyone is settled into either a chair or the couch. “I guess I’ll get right into it then as to not keep you waiting any longer. I truly wanted each of you to get your full two weeks off but this can't wait,” Simon sighs, rubbing his hands up and down his face a few times. “ Liam, Niall, Harry, Louis,” Simon pauses to sigh again, “I’m sorry to say that I don’t have good news. Ass I am sure you have noticed, Dan is not here. I was informed early this morning by the members of your backing band that Dan has suddenly left. He messaged Josh, Sandy and Jon around two in the morning saying that he was leaving and that we should not try to find him, that he was not coming back...” Simon tries to continue talking but he stops once he realizes that the others in the room need a few moments to process everything.
Louis feels a like he’s been stabbed right in the gut, he finds himself breathless. First Zayn and now Dan. Louis was so close to Zayn, both of them pulling pranks on the others in the band even pulling pranks on their management team. Dan and Louis hit it off right away once the older lad got hired on as their guitarist. Dan would often help with the pranks, but more recently, Dan would help Louis with songs for their new Album. Stunned, Louis turns to his backing band, “Can I see the message?” Louis asks and thankfully Josh pulls his phone out, opens up he messaging app before giving it to Louis to read. I can’t take this anymore. Louis reads, At first it was fun, I enjoyed it, this fulfilled everything I ever wanted out of a career. I just need a break, I want to start a family and I can’t do that if I’m trapped by Syco and Modest! Management. The constant tours and practicing year after year isn't what I want to do anymore. Zayn honestly had the right idea in leaving. I’m gone and I suggest you leave too, don’t come looking for me or you'll regret it. Louis hands the phone over to Harry who is on his left so that he can read the message too. Louis looks up, trying to keep composure while he slowly breaks on the inside. “Why does it seem like this band is falling apart?” Louis asks out into the open, stale air of the room. “Are any more people going to quit? Is this seriously too much? All of the touring and recording?” Louis starts to question. Was this job getting too hard on everyone? On me?
“Sometimes things like this happen, I’ve seen it enough times to last a lifetime. But the best thing to do is be strong and all of you lads are strong. Zayn left eight months ago and I can only assume that is what triggered Dan into leaving. I know that it has been tough on everyone but some more than others,” Louis watches as Simon glaces over to him and Louis tenses under the stare. Louis feels a brush against his hand, looking down to see the back of Harry's hand brushing against his. “But you are all working through it extremely well and I admire that about all of you." Simon explains with a small smile gracing his face.
Louis watches as Simon stands up and walks over to the window in his office. "Dan left and that is something that we all need to work to get over. I know, that sounds extremely harsh. But the reality is that you boys have the second half of a tour to complete and you all leave to do that tour in nine days. You boys have never played with backing tracks, but you can't sing and play without a guitarist. so, that now means we need to find a new guitarist and soon. We can push back the tour dates for the first shows in New York by a week if we need to.” Simon explains still looking out the window.
“How are we going to find a new guitarist in just a few days? Let alone a good guitarist?” Liam asks.
“I think going public with this information would be a foolish decision. Do any of you know of anyone who could step in? It doesn’t have to be a permanent position, but just something to get us through the first few shows in America?” Simon asks turning around to look out at the seven young men sitting in front of him.
“I’ll have to make a few calls to some musicians that I know, but I might not get a definitive yes from any of them.” Sandy says.
“Please try to get a hold of them. Anyone else?” Simon asks out to the others, sitting back at his desk.
Everyone is silent for a few moments while they all wrack their brains for anyone they might know that would be able to step up and fill this position at such a short notice. Louis huffs, about to give up thinking just as a name flashes in his brain, Ava. “I might have someone." Louis suddenly says, everyone turning to look at the lad. "It’ll be a long shot because I haven’t seen her since Sixth Form, but she was a gifted Guitar player.” Louis says, his brain already trying to figure out how to find Ava.
“Okay, I think that if we all work together on this, we can get through this. Niall, can you start looking over the guitar music for all of the songs on the set list so that you can help out when we find a new guitarist? If need be, for the first few shows you can play more than usual.” Simon asks the Irish lad.
“Sure thing,” Niall replies.
“Alright. I get that I had to be the bearer of bad news, but it is nice to get the ball rolling. If there is nothing else, you all can go back to your break. Please try to enjoy it even with this new information. I am always here if you need to talk to someone.” Simon dismisses everyone. The backing band going in one SUV while the others go into another SUV.
“So who’s this person you were talking about? I don't think I've ever heard of an Ava in your life before which is surprising since you are always talking about your family and friends back in Donny.” Liam asks once everyone was in the car and seated. Louis sighs but goes to answer anyways.
“Her name is Ava, she was friends with Hannah when Hannah and I were dating before I found out I didn’t like girls. She was also the one who helped with the little band, Rogue, I was in when I was in Sixth Form. She moved from Canada with her parents and we were really good friends. She was a very gifted guitar player, it seemed like the music spoke to her, that the guitar was an extension of her rather than an instrument. I, um, unfortunately lost contact with her once the X-Factor gained speed, I was only at my house back in Donny for a total of five days in two and a half years and then I bought meself a house in London with everyone else so I haven’t seen or heard from her in about five years.” Louis laments as he looks out the window of the fast moving car as it races down the motorway, passing other cars.
“How are you going to get in contact with her?” Harry asks.
“From Hannah, she’s gotta know something. I’m just glad that her and I still keep in contact with each other even after the ban that Management put on us.”
“She can’t hate you for liking who you like.” Louis reaches over and grabs Harry's hand in his, squeezing tight not wanting to let go.
Louis gets dropped off first, getting out of the SUV with a smack to the ass from a certain cheeky Irishman, “Oi!” Louis shouts at the sudden sting, walking away with the sounds of everyone chuckling.
"You like it!" Niall yells out after Louis.
"But only from Harry," Louis hears Liam say. Louis refuses to look back, just shaking his head as he walks towards his front door.
Once Louis gets in the house he shrugs off his jacket and toes off his shoes before going into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Seeing no point in going back to sleep at this point so he might as well caffeinate so he can stay awake all day. Waiting for the kettle to boil, Louis’ mind starts to drift off to Ava. He hasn’t honesty thought about her for years now and the thought alone makes Louis sick to the stomach. How could he be so inconsiderate to the person who helped shape him into who he was today? Finding Ava again is not going to be an easy task, that is one thing Louis knows for sure.
Once his tea is made, Louis curls up on his couch, putty the telly on low for background noise and pulls out his phone, searching through his contact list for Hannah’s number. Once he finds it, nerves start to flutter in his stomach, he hasn’t spoken to her in the better part of a year. Without thinking anymore, Louis sets his tea down on the coffee table and dials Hannah’s number. It rings a few times before a soft feminine voice comes through. “Hello?” Hannah asks.
“Hey love, it’s Louis.” Louis says.
“Louis? Damn, I haven’t heard from you in months. Mr. rich and famous too busy for my poor arse?”
“I know Han, I’m so sorry. I’ve been really busy.” Louis says truthfully.
“I know how busy you are, always over the news, selling out stadiums.”
“Yeah, it’s been a rough couple of months, very busy. The fast pace makes it easy to forget all the bad things going on though so I can’t really complain.” Louis pauses not knowing how to bring up the reason why he decided to call Hannah in the first place. Thankfully, Hannah beats him to it.
“I can assume you called for something other than to catch up with little ol’ me.”
“Yeah, I need to ask you a favor.”
“OK, shoot,” Hannah replies easily.
“I need to find Ava,” Louis asks but cringes once he hears the sigh from the other end of the phone.
“Why?” Hannah asks, her voice getting a sharp edge to it.
“Han, I know I fucked up when it came to Ava, just leaving without ever talking to her again. But, what I’m about to tell you, you need to promise me you won’t tell anyone.” Louis stresses.
“Of course Lou, I know how this works. You’ve shared many things with me that you shouldn’t have in the first place.”
“Our guitarist just quit and we are scrambling to find a new one. I know I haven’t seen Ava since before I left for the X-Factor but I know she is a really good guitar player and I’d like to ask her if she’d be willing to help us out.” Louis explains knowing that it was such a long shot in the first place, about ready to admit failure.
There is silence between Louis and Hannah while Hannah processes everything Louis told her. Finally after about two minutes, Louis gets an answer. “I’m hesitant to tell you anything Louis. When you left she was hurt. You and I were her only friends when she lived in Donny. I never told you any of what I’m telling you now because I knew if I told you back when Ava confided in me, you’d forget about chasing your dreams and you’d come running back to us.” Louis felt his heart break a bit at that. “But I want to help you find her again because I miss her and I want her back in your life but also my life too. I don’t have contact with Ava anymore since she moved back to Canada. I know both her parents were involved in a car accident when they were visiting family back in Ontario. I also know that her parents passed away from the crash. I can tell you where her hometown is but that is all I know, I don’t know if she’s living there anymore. I’m sorry lou.”
“No need to apologize love, you’ve helped me out a lot even if I don’t really deserve it. I promise I’ll fix all of this.” Louis reassures her.
“Okay then, I need to get back to work, but do me a favor and not wait almost a full year before contacting me again, I don’t want to lose you too. Oh, and she lives in a town called Port Hope, Ontario.” Hannah says.
“Okay, talk to you soon Hannah.” Louis replies before hanging up.
Louis sets his phone down in favor for his cup of tea, sipping from the now lukewarm liquid as he ponders over what to do now. While he thinks, his cat, Franky, finally makes his presence known by curling up on top of Louis’ feet keeping them warm because Louis doesn’t like wearing socks. Louis shoots off a quick group text to the other three lads letting them know that he’s gotten somewhere in finding Ava. Louis could only think of one thing to do after texting the others, so he pulls up his contact list again to call Simon, but getting his receptionist. “Syco Records, Mr. Cowell’s office.” the bubbly receptionist says.
“G’morning love, I need to speak with Simon.” Louis tells her.
“I’m sorry but Mr. Cowell is quite busy at the moment. If I can get your name and number I can see if he could call you back within three business days.”
“Could you tell him right away that this is Louis Tomlinson and that I really need to speak with him right away.” Louis could almost hear the right moment that the receptionist realized who he was.
“Right away sir, just one moment for me to patch you through.” Louis heard the line go silent before Simon picks up.
“Hey Simon, I didn’t know you got a new receptionist.” Louis hears Simon chuckle from the other end. “I called because I need a flight to Toronto, Ontario right away.” Louis says as soon as the older man picks up the phone knowing Simon won’t question Louis.
“Okay I can do that for you, will you be taking any security?” Simon asks already getting the flight booked.
“No, it’ll just be me. It’s a small town so I shouldn’t get recognized.”
“Okay then, be at the London Airport for three this afternoon, your flight is at four. I can only assume what this is about, but please, for the sake of the band, go find your friend.”
“Thank you Simon, and maybe tell your receptionist to instantly patch in calls from any of us in the band?.” Louis says before hanging up so he can call Harry. “Hey mate, I’m heading off to Canada to find Ava so could you come over to take care of Franky while I’m gone. I usually have the house cleaner do it but she’s on holidays. I also know that the others don’t get along with him like you do, I swear you’re the fucking cat whisperer or something.” Louis asks already knowing Harry will say yes because he loves his cat.
“Sure thing Lou, I’ll also tell the others for you. Good luck.” Harry replies.
“Thanks love, talk to you soon.” Louis hangs up, moves Franky off of his feet before climbing the stairs to get to his room so he could pack.
**
When Louis’ flight lands , it is nine in the morning, his jet lag setting him back five hours from the seven hour flight. He only packed a small carry on full of his clothes and phone charger so he didn’t need to wait at the baggage carousel so he just walks out to the car rental place to get himself a rental car for his stay in Ontario. So far, he’s enjoying not being recognized seeing as he never told anyone besides his band mates and Simon about coming here. He’s also enjoying the relaxed pace of everything, the other times he was in Toronto, it was on tour and he wasn’t able appreciate the city, or the airport for that matter. There weren’t lines of fans screaming at him like last time and it was a bit of a shock at how much Louis missed that.
Once he gets his rental car, he throws his bag onto the passenger seat before plugging the address to his hotel in the town of Port Hope. It takes Louis a bit of time getting used to driving in Canada, the last time he drove a car that was on the right side of the road was for a music video some years ago. Louis relaxes a while into the drive, grabbing a tea then he was on his way.
Halfway through the drive Louis could feel exhaustion seeping into his bones. He had a very stress filled morning and he wants nothing more than the curl up in a bed for a bit.
About two hours later, Louis is pulling up to his hotel around noon, but his his internal clock telling it was time for supper. Louis checks in without any trouble, only getting one odd look for his different accent, no one recognizing him yet.. Once he is settled in his room, he orders room service deciding that he needed to eat. He soon regrets not bringing his own Yorkshire tea bags once he realizes that there was no good tea options in the hotel room. While he waits for his room service, he pulls out his phone so he could face time Harry, knowing that is was around eight there and Harry would most likely be hanging out with Liam and Niall eating pizza and playing Xbox.
Sure enough, when Harry picks up the call, Louis can see that he is in fact with Niall and Liam all over at Niall’s place because Niall has the biggest TV out of all of them. He claims it’s because the big screen allows him to watch gold better on it. “Hey Lou! How was your flight? Hows Canada?” Harry asks and Louis feels a familiar pull in his stomach at the sound of the other lad's voice.
“It’s been good to me so far. The time change is a bit much, but nothing I’m not used to. The flight was okay, Simon got me a good seat so I just curled up and slept. Miss you lads.” Louis responds.
“Awe, we miss you too Tommo,” Niall replies from the background.
“I’ll start looking for Ava tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.”
“Do you know when you’ll be back?” Liam asks.
“I’ll be back in three days with or without Ava.” Louis replies really hoping to find her as soon as possible. “I would like to enjoy at least a few more days of my break even if I can’t find her.”
“Well, I’m about to win a fifa game for once because you're not here to beat my ass and you’re not even here to witness it, so I’ll hang up Lou.” Harry says just as Louis’ room service arrives.
Louis and the other exchange goodbyes before Harry hangs up. Louis flops back on the bed after grabbing the food deciding that he’ll go for a dip in the hotel hot tub, hoping the hot water will relax his tense muscles from flying. Usually Harry or even Liam will rub his shoulders after a really bad plane ride for him, but seeing as Harry isn’t there with him, the hot tub will have to do. Everyone knows how tense Louis gets while travelling, the tour bus is usually ok with Louis, but planes freak Louis out a bit too much, always causing him to get tense even after five years of flying constantly. Their management tried to hire a massage therapist for when the boys toured but all of them declined since Liam took a massage therapy course when he was 16 and Harry just hand gifted hands that could easy any tense muscles.
Louis and Harry had always had a really tight relationship ever since X-Factor where they met in the bathroom during bootcamp. Ever since, they were inseparable. Harry was the first person Louis told when Louis first felt like he could be something other than straight. Harry also confided in Louis that he too was not straight, but didn’t know what label to put on it. Together they confronted the other in the band after X-Factor that they were gay, but not in a relationship. While Louis felt the need to protect Harry because Harry is the youngest, he also felt the need to protect Harry because Harry is precious to Louis. Liam and Niall realized from the start that Louis and Harry just had this connection that the others didn’t share with them, and they were ok with that. All four of them were the bestest of friends, just Louis and Harry shared this special bond.
In the early X-Factor days, Louis and Harry tried dating. It was short, but it was sweet young love. Soon Simon found out and suggested they not be together until after the X-Factor just in case their band broke up and the two young boys agreed, they wanted to focus all of their attention on winning the show. Once the show was over and they were signed with Simon, they had forgotten all about getting back together, the both of them were too focused on the band. It took a while to convince their management that were not in fact a couple but just that they were over affectionate towards each other. Louis and Harry both got beards, Louis got Eleanor and Harry got a sting of random women as to hide the fact that they were both gay. Louis and Harry were very affectionate towards each other on and off stage and slowly rumors started that they were together even though they had “girlfriends.” Their management forced them apart even when they argued that they weren’t together in any way. Now Louis and Harry are allowed to sit next to each other but their interactions need to be limited on stage.
The two of them got back some freedom once the fandom picked up on the fact that Niall and Harry interacted more on stage recently. Niall laughed and the rumors claiming that him and Harry were together because he is, in his own words, as straight as they come. Management didn’t want to force Niall and Harry away claiming that by doing so, the fandom would figure that something iffy was going on. Instead, they made Harry say in an interview that he was just a super affectionate person and that he likes to have a good time on stage with his best mates and that he is not in a relationship with any of them. It worked, Louis and Harry were allowed to interact more on stage but never be seen alone together out in public.
**
Louis wakes up much earlier than he wanted to, the time change still screwing with him. He ends up laying in bed for a while longer scrolling through his social media before deciding to get up and shower to start his busy day. Once done his shower, he changes into sweats with a loose white shirt and a grey hoodie. He doesn’t bother styling his hair, actually forgetting to bring any hair product with him, opting to throw a beanie over his wet hair making him look instantly three years younger despite the bit of stubble showing. Louis grabs his phone, car keys, hotel key and wallet before making his way out to his car, grabbing an apple from a bowl on the reception desk on his way out.
Louis realized once he started driving that he didn’t know where to start looking for Ava. deciding he should take care of hunger first, he heads to the McDonalds to grab some food and maybe do some digging around. Soon enough Louis is seated in the Mcdonalds with a cup of coffee and a muffin. He just sits there enjoying the silence for a bit while his coffee cools off a bit. If Niall was here right now he’d be taking the piss out of the fact that Louis is drinking coffee. Louis likes to stick to tea when possible and Niall calls Louis posh for not liking coffee and only liking tea, Like a true Brit. At this point, Louis could care less, Louis just needs caffeine.
About an hour later, a worker comes up to him and asks if he’d like a refill on his coffee, he says yes and when she comes back with a fresh cup Louis decides to ask her a few questions. “Excuse me love, I’m trying to find an old friend of mine. Her name’s Ava Provoes, do you happen to know her?” Louis asks, making sure to lay the accent on heavy because if there is anything he’s learned while touring is that Canadians and Americans love a good British accent. And his Yorkshire accent is a pretty damn good one is he says so himself. Lots of people have told him so.
“I know of an Ava who works at the Mom and Pop just down the road as a waitress. I don’t know her last name though so it might not be her. She comes by every once and awhile and I chat her up sometimes.” The worker says.
“Thanks love, you’ve been helpful.” Louis winks before grabbing his cup to take a sip as she walks away. Once Louis finishes his cup with a grimace, he’s off to the Diner down the road determined to find Ava.
In the end, Louis chickens out last minute and instead of driving to the Diner, he ends up driving around the town. Louis quickly finds that the town is right on a huge lake and even though it is stupidly cold out, the lake is still being swam in by people wearing wetsuits. It is definitely colder here than it is in London. All Louis can do is shake his head and keep driving along the lake road. It’s 11:30 when Louis stops putting along and decides to actually go to the Diner. No more beating around the bush, he pulls up to the restaurant. He gets out and walks in really hoping to find Ava here. Louis really wants to mend his fractured friendship that he once had and he hopes to get a really good guitarist out of it too.
He’s greeted by the hostess who quickly seats him in the near empty restaurant. Louis just ends up ordering a beer and fries, not feeling hungry but knowing he needs to order something. About twenty minutes later his food comes and he has yet to seen anyone how looks like the Ava he knew. “Is there anything else I could get you sir?” his server asks, not showing any outward signs that she recognized him.
“Not at this moment love.” Louis says and watches her walk off. Louis finishes his fries and polishes off two beers when he finally asks his server about Ava, the liquid courage giving him a bit of an edge. “I’m looking for an old friend of mine and I was told she might work here. Her name is Ava Provoes, do you know her?” Louis asks really hoping he’ll get a good answer.
“Um...yeah. Ava works here but not today. Can I ask how you know her? I don’t want you to be a serial killer or anything.” The server laughs nervously.
“I used to be a friend of hers back when she lived in Europe. I have things I need to talk to her about, private matters, and I knew she lived here I just need to find her. I need to mend our friendship.”
“Okay, um. Her shift starts tomorrow at noon so just come in here at noon, or at five when she’s done her shift. I hope things go well for you.” The server says as she clears the table and Louis gets up to pay. He only has to get through the rest of today before he can meet up with Ava. Somehow, he’s more nervous than he thought he was.
Louis facetimes Harry again that night needed to talk to someone who would understand his nerves and wouldn’t judge or make fun of him for it. “Hey Lou.” Harry says, his hair fanned out over his pillow obviously about to go to bed. Louis forgot all about the time difference between them.
“Sorry love, I’ll call back tomorrow if you were about to go to sleep.” Louis says knowing Harry needed his sleep or else he gets cranky the next day.
“No it’s fine Lou, I promise. I always have time for you, you know that. What’s up?”
“I got some progress today. I found out where she works so I’m going back
tomorrow to try and talk to her.” Louis pauses, “is it normal to be nervous?”
“Totally Louis, you haven’t seen her in years.” Louis sighs.
“I’m still scared that I’ll screw this up for all of us.”
“Don’t worry. If this doesn’t work out then we’ll go on and find someone else. Just be prepared for her to be mad at you and for her to say no.” Harry reassures Louis. Louis nods.
Louis and Harry spend the next 20 minutes just talking about random stuff until Harry’s eyes start to droop and his speech gets slower. “Go to bed love, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, hopefully with some good news.” Louis and Harry say good night before both of them close their eyes and go to bed. Louis was ready for tomorrow, he felt good, that tomorrow will go over well despite ever fiber in his being telling him that this will all end badly and that he should hop on the next flight out of here.
Louis woke up and went through the same motions as yesterday except he stayed in his hotel room until noon before venturing out into the town. Before leaving Louis was looking through Twitter to find that someone had spotted him in the airport in London but not knowing where he was going. As long as no one spots him here he should be safe from fans.
Louis decided to wait before going back to the restaurant, instead he went back to the lake, parked, then pulled out his phone to play some games while he waited, needing something mindless to do as to not let his mind wander too much. Whenever he’s nervous, he’s used to having one of the boys, mostly Harry, around to keep him grounded. Louis had every right to be nervous. He was friends with Ava before he left, then he let the fame of it all distance himself from her and his other friends that he had back in Sixth form. If anything, he should fully expect her to not want to talk to him at all and Louis fully understands that as a possible outcome. But that doesn't stop him from wanting all of this for end perfectly with her coming to London with him so that she can be the band’s guitar player.
Thinking about the band made him think about Dan leaving. Just like with Zayn, Dan never showed any feelings that he wanted go leave and that is what really hurts Louis. If Louis knew something was wrong then maybe he'd be able to help out, maybe try to fix what was wrong. But just like Zayn, Dan left in the middle of the night with no explanation whatsoever. Louis shakes his head trying to get rid of the hurtful thoughts needing to be strong in order to get Ava to come back with him.
Louis decides to leave to lakeside around three in the afternoon and heads off for the restaurant. When he arrives, the server from yesterday spots him and guides him to a seat, “I've put you in Ava’s section.” she says, her hand lingering on his arm for a bit longer than necessary before handing him the menu and walking off to the front desk to great more customers. Louis looks down at the menu and decides to order something more substantial that yesterday's seeing as he didn't eat breakfast this morning. Louis was fully prepared to meet Ava today, but nothing could prepare him for what he saw when she actually walked up to him.
She was definitely the Ava he grew up with, looking as if she never aged a day over 17. Louis felt as though there were dozens of tiny butterflies in his stomach from the moment he saw her, he was nervous as shit. There were only two things that Louis found that was different from the last time that he saw Ava, one, was the fact that she is now walking with a limp and the second being that her hair is now blond instead of the brown he got used to. “Hello, I’m Ava and I’ll be your server for today. Can I start you off with a drink?” She asks setting a table coaster down on the table. Without looking up at her Louis orders a beer and a burger. The problem came when she asked for his ID, if he gave it to her then she would figure out his name and then no doubt she would draw the connection to who he was. He wasn’t ready for that yet, he wanted to be at least two beers in before he confronted her.
Louis sighs once he realizes that there was no way around this so he reaches into his back pocket to bring out his heavily worn black wallet, opening it to pull out is driver’s licence then hands it to her. Ava makes quick work of looking the ID over before handing it back, setting it on the table before turning away to get his drink and food. Louis didn’t know how to feel about what just happened. She didn’t outwardly react so all Louis can hope is that she didn’t recognize him anymore. It has been over five years after all. A bit longer he has to wait before his food is placed in front of him, he keeps his head down every time Ava comes near him, only once does she come to refill his beer and to clear his plate away.
By the time Louis decides to pull his head out of his ass and actually talk to Ava when she approaches next, he looks up to see none other than the server from yesterday. Louis pulls out his phone to see that it was half past five, Ava has already left, he missed his chance. “Here’s your receipt. You can pay up at the front.” She says, lingering her hand on his shoulder before walking off. Louis flips the receipt over to look at his total but the black pen marks at the top catch his attention. It reads: Louis. Come to 1314 Frontier Road when you’re ready to talk. Louis was shocked, he wasn’t expecting this at all.
Louis shoves the receipt into his pocket of his jacket before walking to the front, the server from yesterday still trying to flirt with him, reaching out to caress his hand when he goes to leave after paying. Louis snatches his hand away, shoves it into his pocket before walking outside back to his car. Louis knows that he should go straight over to her house but Louis pulls into the parking lot of a liquor store to grab a bottle of wine, knowing that she might want a drink or two to be able to process what he was going to talk about. So once he’s got the wine, Louis plugs the address into the GPS in the car before cranking out of the parking lot and towards her house.
When Louis pulls up, the first thing he notices is that the house is a very modest bungalow and that there is another car in the driveway, Louis can only suspect that the other car is hers. Louis gets out onto a slightly slippery surface, grabs the bottle of wine before walking up the door. He rings the bell and waits for what felt like hours but was really only twenty seconds or so. Ava opens the door wearing a sweater and fluffy pajama pants. She looks shocked to see Louis standing there, almost like she wasn’t expecting him to actually show up. “Come in, the living room’s to the right.” Ava says as she grabs the wine before walking into what Louis could only guess was the kitchen.
Louis sits down in a chair across from the couch and waits for Ava to come back into the room. When she does, she’s carrying two glasses of wine with her, she hands one to Louis and keeps one for herself. Louis watches as she curls up in the corner of the couch and Louis makes a quick decision to sit on the other end of the couch, one leg tucked under the other with his body turned so that he could properly face her. Louis waits for Ava to start the conversation even though he knows that he should really be the one to start. “I can’t actually believe that you are here. God, I’m so pissed at you. You know, when you left, I fully supported you all the way through X-Factor because you deserved to win. You’re a really good singer then and now. But after the X-Factor when you still hadn’t returned any of my texts and calls, I felt stupid for supporting you because you were done with me, you were out of my life, I gave you everything of me as a friend but it feels like you just threw it back at my face when you left.
You still kept in contact with Hannah and I was able to figure out that your life was stupidly busy right after the X-Factor. But it still hurt to know that you’d keep in touch with Hannah but not with me. So I moved on, my parents die in a car crash, I move back here and I never looked back. I erased you from my memory, or at least, I thought I did. Then you show back up in my life here, in my town disrupting my life, my comfortable life where I forgot about everyone in Europe and just focused on me because that is what I believed I deserved after losing my best friend and my parents.” Ava looks directly at Louis for the first time and Louis can see her red rimmed eyes, tears streaming down her face, chest rising fast with shallow breaths “Why the hell are you here?” Ava spits out, “why are you back in my life? Don’t you think you’ve caused me enough pain already in the past five years, trust me when I say that I've been dealt a shitty life.”
Louis’ heart breaks at what Ava was telling him, he feels horrible for forgetting about her. Louis fiddles with the stem to his wine glass when he decides to give Ava answers, his heart shattered in a million pieces, too small to pick back up. “I feel like anything I’m going to say will just sound like excuses and I know you don’t deserve to hear excuses.” Louis looks up at her, in her own sorrowful eyes, “But I really need you to hear me out.” Louis takes a big breath to try and steady his own jumbled thoughts. “The whole X-Factor process was super hectic, it was show after show with practices in between, there was barely any time to sleep. There was no down time. Then once we got signed with Simon, he did such a shitty thing now that I think about it, but in the moment I really thought he was just looking out for us. He made us all get new phones and said we were not allowed to keep any of our old friends numbers because he’s seen way too many bad things happen to singers who have kept in touch with their old friends. I guess even then I knew deep down that it was such a bullshit rule because I actually kept Hannah’s number because I knew that through her, I could keep in contact with all of my old friends. We were always hanging out at her house almost all the time anyways.
In just over two years since leaving for the X-Factor, I had only been back to Donny five times. I didn’t know you moved back here until about three days ago when I decided to come find you. I can’t express to you how sorry I am to hear about your parents, but I’m even more sorry for forgetting about you. You were such a good friend to me and I ruined that. I believe that you deserve honesty right now so I will be blatantly honest with you.” Louis pauses to rub his hands down his face, “I forgot about you, everyone from Donny because I let the fame get to my head a bit. I let the constant euphoric feeling of singing in sold out stadiums get to me and I let myself drift away from the people that I loved and who loved me. And I fucking hate myself for doing that to someone like you who had been nothing short of kind, caring, loving towards me.” Louis says with a heavy sigh, finally saying what he wanted to for a long time.
“Why are you here?” Ava simply asks.
“Not to sound cocky, but I’m assuming you know that I am in a boy band called One Direction.” Ava nods, “ Well, our guitarist from our backing band quit about three days ago in the middle of the night he left so we’re now scrambling to find a new or even a temporary guitarist who can play for us for when we go out our American leg of our Where We Are Tour.”
“And you want me to be that person?” Ava asks already knowing the answer.
“Yes, when Simon asked us if we knew of anyone who would work, I instantly knew you would be perfect, that was the first time I had thought about you in years and just saying that out loud tastes sour in my mouth. Back in Sixth form you were an amazing guitarist and I came here to firstly find you, apologize then ask you to join our tour as our guitarist either temporarily until we can find someone who will do it permanently, or you could do it permanently.”
Louis watches as Ava mulls over what he said over in her brain. Louis was really hoping that she would say yes, the band would get an amazing guitarist and Louis would, hopefully, get his friend back. “You’d be taught by the rest of the backing band and Niall all of the songs from our tour, you’d get paid quite well, you’d get to meet new people, you’d hopefully become friends with me again. I know that to patch up what happened between us will take a long time, if it even gets to be patched up. And, you’d get to play to millions of people which is something I knew you really wanted to do back in Sixth form.” Louis explains before gulping down the rest of his wine, getting nervous again while he waits for her answer.
Ava sighs, takes a swig from her glass to finish it off before standing, grabbing Louis’ empty glass and goes back to the kitchen. Ava returns a minute later with the glasses topped up again, handing Louis his before sitting back down. “I want to say yes, I really do. Even though I still am mad at you, I could never stay angry at you for long even back in Sixth form. You have no idea how much you hurt me and that will take a while to go away. You were such a good friend to me six years ago and I’d want nothing more than to be friends again and you’re right, my dream is to play for crowds.” Ava pauses and Louis watches as Ava thinks before she speaks again. “Okay. I want this to work out. I feel like is going to be a rash decision and I know that this is going to be such a stupid decision, I just know it. But I’ll do it. I want to be friends again, I want to help you out and maybe I’ve already forgiven you but I know that I am still fucking pissed at you. Before you get all excited, I tell you this. And please, for the love of God, do not pity me.”
Louis watches as Ava looks down at her lap as her hand runs over the top of her thigh. “I was involved in an accident just after my parents were in a car crash and I ended up losing my leg above my knee. I was riding my bike and a man in a white SUV was on his phone not paying attention. He ended up running me over. I suffered a fractured skull even though I was wearing a helmet. I also broke my right arm, but the worst thing that happened was that of all things to happen was that my shoelace got caught in the gears and while the bike was getting crumpled up by the car the chain link snapped and ended up slicing through my leg about four inches above my knee. I need you to know that the accident left me in a fragile state both physically and especially mentally. I’m still recovering, walking and standing can hurt from time to time. And with that said, I don’t know if I could stand and play guitar for the band for the whole duration of the concert.”
“I need you to know that no one on our team will give you a hard time for being an amputee. We’ll embrace it along with you, no one will pity you and if they try I’ll make sure they regret it. I’ll step up to be the best friend that I was, that you need. I’m also sure that we could get you a stool to sit on during shows for when your legs get sore.” Louis reaches forward to grab her hands in his. “I assure you that I along with the band and the backing band will be there to help you and support you through everything.” Louis tells her, watching as more tears spill down her flushed cheeks. “Oh love,” Louis reaches up to gently wipe the tears off her cheek, catching the tears that were still falling from her eyes.
“I’ve only ever wanted to feel loved again after my parents died and I moved back. I’m seen as the freak in this town. The poor girl who lost her limb and her parents. I only wanted you and Hannah back in my life, I prayed on it, I screamed it at the top of my lungs in the hope that someone would answer my prayers. I just wanted you,” Ava whispers, finally cracking and letting out heaving sobs and Louis’ already broken heart breaks even more. The little shards that remained turning to dust.
Louis ends up pulling Ava into him, rocking them back and forth trying to calm her down but also letting her let out all of her emotions. All Louis could do was reassure her that she was Ok and that he was not going to leave this time. “C’mon love, just let it out. I’m here now, I won’t leave. I promise.” Louis whispers over and over in her ear. Louis feels Ava’s hands curl into the hair at the back of his neck as she tries to bury her head deeper into his chest. “It’s okay love, it’s all okay”
“Please,” Ava sobs, “Please don’t leave, don’t, don’t let me go.” Her last work turning garbled as she sobs again with a fresh wave of tears. Louis knows that all of the emotion needs to be released. He could tell that she was keeping this all in for a very long time and he couldn’t help but hate himself because he knows that his actions five years ago played such a huge role in all of this.
Several minutes later and Ava was still sobbing, Louis’ shirt thoroughly soaked. Louis was starting to worry because Ava was still breathing very shallow and he could feel her whole body shaking, especially her hands that were still clutching his hair. The only thing Louis could think to do was to call his mom, he needed guidance. Still keeping one arm wrapped around her waist keeping her secure, the other reaches into his back left pocket to pull out his phone and within seconds he was on the phone with his mom knowing that the time difference meant that he was calling her around midnight her time.
“Louis love, what’s wrong? Who’s crying?” Louis hears his mom say once she picks up the phone.
“I’m okay I think, but Ava’s not. I can’t explain right now but I will in a few days, promise. I just need your help right now. It’s Ava, she’s been crying for about twenty minutes now. But it’s not just crying, it’s sobs, you can hear them through the phone. I’m getting scared that she hasn’t slowed down or stopped.” Louis says to his mom panicked.
“Okay sweetie, I need you to sit behind her, your legs around hers. Tell me when you’ve done that.” Jay instructs over the phone.
With a bit of a struggle Louis manages to reposition Ava and himself to follow his moms instructions. “Okay, now what?” Louis asks.
“Now I need you to make sure your chest is pressed nice and tight against her back so she can feel your breathing. Make sure you’re taking nice, even deep breaths.” Louis follows his moms instructions before coaching Ava to follow his breathing.
“C’mon love, follow my breathing.” Louis tells Ava, his mouth right next to her ear so he knew she could hear him over her wails of pain. Louis feels both of her hands grab onto his which was resting lightly over her stomach. “That’s it love, you’re doing good. Just keep breathing in nice deep breaths.”
“Is it working?” His mom asks.
“I think so. She’s not breathing as sporadically as before.”
“That’s good, just make sure you both are taking deep breaths and she should calm down soon enough. Once she’s calm give her some water and some paracetamol because she’s bound to have a headache after this. She’ll most likely be very tired after this so put her to bed as soon as possible. I’m looking forward to your follow up call in a few days Louis.” Is the last thing Louis hears before his mother hangs up.
Louis has to keep coaching Ava to keep taking deep breaths every few seconds or else he will feel her take in more shallow breaths, no doubt getting worked up again. A good thing though is that she has stopped sobbing, only hitching breaths coming out now along with more tears. But everything was slowing down now and that was a massive relief to Louis. “You’re doing so well love, just keep calming down hun.” Louis tells her and soon enough she’s in perfect pace to his own breathing. She was no longer crying and she had stopped shaking. Louis tilts his head to see that her eyes were shut, she was sleeping. She had cried herself to sleep.
Louis shuffles forward on the couch to the edge before standing up with Ava cradled in his arms. It takes Louis a bit to find her room but once he does, he lays her down on her bed making sure she was comfortable. Louis pulls the covers up to make sure she was warm before walking towards the bathroom to rummage through her cupboard to find some paracetamol. He finds it, shakes out two pills before filling up a cup that was beside the sink full of water. Louis carries this out to her night table where he sets both the pills and the water down. Louis sees a notebook and a pen sitting on her night table so he picks it up and writes his number in it before placing it back down hoping that she sees it and will text him in the morning. Louis leans down to press a kiss to her forehead before walking out, closing the door behind him.
Louis reaches the living room and grabs his phone before making sure all of the lights are shut off then walks out to his car. Louis can’t help but feel guilty about not staying with her but he knows that he can’t cross any lines while both Ava and he are in such a fragile state relationship wise.
When Louis gets back to his hotel, the first thing he does is jump in the shower. After that he dries off before climbing in the bed staring at his phone trying to decide if he should call Harry or not. Louis knows that Harry won’t mind Louis calling so late to vent to him but Louis really doesn’t want to be a bother. But with that said, Louis knows that Harry would want him to call and vent rather than bottle it up and Louis knows that too after too many instances where Louis would internalize everything he felt rather than tell his band mates. Louis ends up calling Harry that night, turning onto his side so the phone was pressed between the pillow and his ear. Harry stayed silent as Louis vented to him and at one point Louis himself got worked up and had to have Harry tell him to slow his breathing down. In the end, Louis falls asleep with Harry on the other end singing him to sleep.
**
Louis’ been awake for about three hours the next morning, he calls the other lads first, telling them that Mark will need to hire someone with training working with an amputee so that Ava could gain more strength. Louis will see to it that she can get all of her full motion and strength back. In doing so, he has to tell the others that she has a prosthetic leg but not telling them how. The others take it really well and Louis expected nothing less from the lads. After the call, Louis finds himself doing nothing but play on his phone when his phone goes off, an unknown number flashing across the screen. Knowing that he shouldn’t pick up numbers that he doesn’t know, but also knowing that it very well could be Ava calling him. Louis against his better judgement, something that he’s been doing more lately, picks up the phone. “Hello?”
“Lou?” Louis hears Ava’s voice.
“Hey love,”
“Hi. I need to apologize. I can’t believe that I made such a fool of myself in front of you last night.”
“No need to apologize love, really please don’t apologize. I was only taking care of you like I should have been doing for the past five years mind you, you wouldn’t have broken down like that had I actually stayed in your life.” Louis tries to explain.
“So you don’t think I’m a freak?” Ava asks tentatively.
“For what? I admire you for your strength. You are not a freak, you are an amazing woman for what you’ve had to endure, alone .”
The line goes silent, Louis waiting for Ava to say something. Finally, she speaks up. “Can you come over and help me pack?” Louis’ eye perk up at that, happy that she was still going to come back to London with him.
“Sure thing love, I’ll be there in twenty. I’m glad that you’re giving me another shot even though I know I don’t deserve it. I’m also glad that you’re coming with me and helping the band out.” Louis expresses before they both say goodbye. Louis gets up, quickly packing all of his things back into his backpack. He grabs a water bottle from the mini fridge on his way out to the reception desk where he checks out.
The drive over to Ava’s house in quick and painless and soon enough he’s knocking on her door this time feeling more confident, happy even. Ava opens the door and allows Louis to walk in. Before the door is shut Ava is launching herself into his arms. “Thank you for last night. I’m still sorry for sobbing on you, but thank you for finally coming back into my life.” Ava mummers into his chest. She pull back, “This sounds so dramatic, but I really feel like I finally have something to live for again. You are back in my life and we can finally be friends again. I can no longer worry if you’ll ever come back because here you are.” Ava turns around and pulls Louis along to her room.
When Louis walks in he sees clothes all over every surface of the room like a clothing bomb went off. Louis laughs, Ava shoots him a glare. Ava directs Louis to sit on the bed beside the open suitcase. Ava starts to throw clothes at him and it was his duty to fold it all up and put it into the suitcase. They do this progress for roughly an hour until Ava deems herself to be packed. “Do you have toiletries?” Louis asks standing up, cracking his back from being bent over for too long. At that moment he really missed Liam and Harry, really wanting the kinks rubbed out of his back.
“All packed up. I know that I won’t be coming back here for quite a while so I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything.” Ava replies and her and Louis drag her suitcase and couple bags to the front door.
“Okay, I’ve already called Simon on my way here and he’s got us two flights booked back to London. If you are forgetting something we can always buy it once we get to London or on tour. It happens more than you think it does. I forgot to pack styling gel for this trip because on tour I don’t have to pack any. The tour stylists carry it all for us.” Louis explains as he loads the rental car up with her bags. “We can pick up some lunch before we leave for Toronto.” Louis and Ava climb into the car before Louis cranks out of her driveway and on his way towards the McDonalds.
Unfortunately the girl at the window of the Drive-Thru recognized him even with A beaning on and about a week’s worth of facial hair on his face. He forgot to pack his shaver as well, but he won’t tell Ava that after she’d told him that facial hair looked good on him. Louis had to negotiate with the girl while Ava was giggling next to him. “Look love, if I sign your arm can you please not post this to social media?” Luckily the girl smiles and nods shoving her arm at Louis along with a marker.
Ava was still giggly once they hit the freeway. “I knew you were famous but not that famous. She looked like she was going to pass out.” Ava says as she bites into her sandwich.
“That’s not as bad as it can get.” Louis replies.
“But you’re happy right?”
“I am, especially now.”
“I feel like I’ve forgiven you too fast.”
“I think that you have, but I also think that this was for the best. It’ll be a bit bumpy but I think that the initial connection that Hannah you and I had five years ago is still there and I think that is what is helping us along right now. I want to gain your trust back.” Louis really hopes Ava felt the same way in regards to their slowly reconstructed friendship.
“You’re doing a good job of it so far.”
“How’s touring?” Ava asks about an hour into the two hour trip.
“Touring is amazing, I get such a thrill out of hearing the fans scream our songs back to us, songs that mean so much to us the songs that we wrote.” Louis tells her with a smile on his face.
“I’m glad you like doing it.”
“I love it. It’s been a bit harder than usual ever since Zayn left but the band is working through it. If anything, it gave me more singing time so I can’t complain.” Louis and Ava spend the next hour talking about the tour, Louis feeling everything fall into place the longer Ava and him talk, it was like they never stopped talking to each other in the first place.
“I have to call the lads, I’ll have to do it over Bluetooth if that’s okay?” Louis asks sliding his eyes over to Ava.
“I have no problem with that at all. Call away.” She replies. Louis pulls out his phone about to look down at it to call Harry but thinks twice about it at the last second. Now knowing that Ava’s accident was caused by a driver on his phone, Louis thinks twice about going on his phone.
“Could you do it for me? Use my finger to open my phone. Under contacts look for A banana emoji and an H beside it.” Louis asks holding his phone out for Ava to take.
Ava presses Louis finger against the sensor to open the phone and does what Louis asks, the sounds of a phone ringing through the speakers in the car in no time. But before anyone could pick up on the other side of the call Ava rests her hand on Louis’ arm. “Thank you.” Ava says, her eyes speaking to how grateful she is. But before Louis could reply, Harry was picking up the phone.
“Hello?” His gravelly voice rings through the car a little too loud causing Louis to jump before lowering to volume to a moderate enough level to hear Harry but not too loud to make his ears bleed.
“Hey Haz. I’m in the car with Ava. We’re almost at the airport.”
“That’s good. Will we get to see you tonight? What time are you coming in? Do you need picked up?” Harry asks his voice rising a bit in pitch as he gets a bit concerned. Ava just laughs quietly to herself causing Louis to smirk at her.
“I think we’re getting in around eight your time and I’ll just get a town car to pick us up and take us to my place. We can meet at my place tomorrow morning for breakfast.”
“But lou…” Harry wines causing Ava to laugh again but a bit louder. “Hey now. Don’t be laughing at me. I really miss you Lou.”
Louis laughs along with Ava now because Harry is being his normal needy self. Louis sobers up a bit faster once he realizes that Harry had passed the phone on to Niall. “Mate, Harry’s been in a right state since you’ve been gone. I know you’re not together and I respect your decisions for not getting together for the sake of the band, but you both have something special that none of us have. I don’t think you’ve been away from each other for this long in a while.” Niall says.
“I know Niall. Harry’s a sensitive boy. Tell him Ava and I are sorry for laughing at him.” Louis says but before anything could be said, Harry can be heard saying, “forgiven,” obviously the phone was put on speaker.
“How are ya Ava?” Niall asks and Louis watched Ava jump at being asked a direct question. Louis just nods when she gives him a cautious look.
“Um, Okay I guess.” Ava replies shakily.
“I think I can speak for all of us when I say thank you for agreeing to be our guitarist. And for forgiving Louis.” Liam says causing Ava to blush.
“Louis was easy to forgive once he explained things. I could never stay mad at him for long, even five years ago. There’s just something about him you know? I’m glad I can be able to help you guys out while living out a dream of mine.” Ava replies getting more comfortable with the other lads over the phone.
“I can’t wait to meet you love, safe flight.” Liam says in lieu of goodbye, the phone clicking off. Louis sees Ava look over to him out of the corner of his eye so he looks over.
“Please understand how much I mean every word I’m about to say: Let’s go home.”
Louis couldn’t keep the smile off his face at that statement. Three words that he knows means the world to Ava. He knows that Ava always liked England while she lived there and he couldn’t even begin to imagine how much going back to Canada would feel once her parents died. I don’t think her town, her house will ever feel like home to her ever again. Louis knows that he means the world to Ava because she means the world to him. Seeing her smile a genuine smile for the first time in five years after all of her pain and sorrow is just as euphoric as singing in front of seventy thousand people. Hands down.