Chapter Text
I forgot to tell you. I booked the practice room for you to use from 10:30-11 if you wanted to.
Jaebum flicked his eyes to the top of his phone to check the time. 10:17. He had time before his tutorial at noon. He'd have to walk all the way to the opposite side of campus, but he hadn’t played in a long time and he missed it. He didn’t have any work or readings he needed to finish so he decided to go. Thanks he texted back and gathered his things from the ground around him.
He stood, slipping his earbuds into his ears, making sure the other end was tucked into his coat pocket. He wasn’t listening to anything, couldn’t listen to anything, but he preferred to have people glare at him when he ignored them because they thought he was just an asshole listening to music too loudly to hear them. It beat seeing the pity in their eyes when they found out that he had ignored them because he was deaf and hadn’t been able to hear them.
He'd been sitting in the wrong area of a bus on his way home from school during his third year of high school. A truck driver has suffered a stroke and slammed into the side of the bus about three feet behind where he was sitting. He considered himself lucky he only lost his hearing. Six people lost their lives.
He’d suffered a skull fracture that irreparably damaged the outer, middle and inner hearing systems in his right ear. The impact from when he was thrown into the other side of the bus damaged his left hearing system as well. He had about eighty percent hearing in his left ear but due to the damage to his middle ear could only hear through vibrations that passed through his skull. He could hear his own voice, but without his hearing aid that was about it.
He slung his bag over his shoulder and left the little nook he’d claimed as his own since the beginning of the year. It was little more than a square of poor designing, serving no purpose other than to hide him from the busy traffic of the hall a few feet away. It was on the second floor and had a floor to window that overlooked a hall on the floor below. It was just big wide enough for him to stretch out his legs and deep enough for him to sprawl all his books, laptop and snacks on days where he had a lot of work. He focused better in that nook than he did at home so even if he had the afternoon off he still found himself holed up in there.
The campus was relatively empty at the moment, students either in classes or holed up in their own little spaces they’d claimed for themselves to wait until they have to go to their next one. He kept to the side of the hallways and sidewalks, like he always did, since he couldn’t hear if anyone behind him needed the space.
It was cold and he burrowed deeper into his scarf when he walked across open spaces where the wind was harsher. The semester had started just over a week ago and with it came a spell of frigid weather that made leaving his apartment for classes all the more unappealing.
Four more months, he told himself. One more semester to go.
It took him about ten minutes to get to the large red-bricked building that housed the performing arts students. Despite not being a student of that faculty, Jaebum had spent a lot of his time in this building. His roommate and longtime best friend was a vocal student. Since it was a smaller faculty, it had nicer lounges than the overpacked ones in the writing department where Jaebum studied. He’d spent a significant amount of time killing time in various places around this building with Jinyoung, and later Youngjae, a third year who Jaebum had heard possessed one of the best voice of his year. Jaebum couldn’t confirm, though he admitted he’d been tempted to bring along his hearing aid once or twice, just out of curiosity.
He noticed a girl holding the door for him and sent her a smile in thanks, ignoring the way her eyes moved over his face and the blush that darkened her already cold-flushed cheeks.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty, she was. Nor was it that Jaebum hadn’t dated since the accident, he had. A relationship just wasn’t what he wanted at the moment. He just wanted to graduate and hadn’t found anyone special enough to distract him from that goal.
He murmured his thanks before heading towards the staircase that led to the second floor where the practice rooms were. He had to check the signup sheets on every door to see which one was his, biting back a groan when he found his name on the sheet for room number four. Room four was the only practice room that had the piano situated along the far wall instead of along one of the sides. He had no idea why it was there, but it was the reason this one was his least favourite room. He didn’t like having his back to the door, to any door really. He wasn’t able to hear if anyone knocked and if he couldn’t see the little window in the door, he couldn’t see if anyone wanted in.
Not letting it deter him from playing, he pulled out the white plastic key card that Jinyoung had given him that would open any of the practice rooms and let himself in.
He dropped his bag onto the floor and sat on the worn wooden piano bench, smiling as he trailed his fingers over the slightly chipped keys. He’d always loved to play the piano. His dream used to be a composer and a producer, but he decided to give it up after his accident. He never lost his love of playing the piano though and had been devastated when he’d come home from the hospital after five weeks of recovery to find out that his parents had given his away. They thought they were helping him, getting rid of it so he wouldn’t be reminded that he couldn’t play it anymore.
But he could still play it. His fingers worked just fine, as did his feet. He just couldn’t hear it. He used to spend so much of his time playing that he found the routine soothing. The fluidity of his fingers sliding over the keys, the rhythmic pulse of his foot on the pedals was like a mental break for him, a way to help him unwind and relax.
Eventually he learned new ways to hear.
Music, like most of his life after the accident, became about vibrations. The faint, barely there tingle of the higher notes and the soft buzz of the lower keys against the pads of his fingers. With songs he was really familiar with he could even tell if he’d played a wrong note based the way the notes resonated against his fingertips.
He played through his favourite repertoire list, Mozart, Chopin, Liszt. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t hear it, he’d played these pieces so many times that he could close his eyes and hear each note resonating in his mind as if it was coming from the instrument in front of him.
He smiled as he began to play one of his own compositions, remembering that Youngjae had asked to sing it at his end of term showcase in a few months. He couldn’t wait to hear what the young vocalist was going to do with it.
Youngjae had asked him to play it with him, to accompany him, but Jaebum hadn’t decided yet. He was confident in his piano skills, but wasn’t sure how good be be at being an accompanist, where his job would be to make someone else shine. He had no idea how well he’d be able to hear Youngjae which he would need to do to follow wherever Youngjae wanted to take the song musically.
A hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to startle violently, his elbow banging painfully against the keys as he spun around.
There was a guy standing next to him in the practice room, looking just as startled as Jaebum was, his hands up in front of him in surrender as he looked down at Jaebum with wide eyes.
Jaebum recognized the white plastic card in one of his hands. Whoever this was, he probably had booked the room next. Jaebum hadn't checked the time for a while. Who knew how much time he'd taken away from this guy's practicing.
He saw the guy’s mouth move, no doubt explaining what he was doing there, but Jaebum could guess. He’d stayed too late and this guy had booked the room after him. The guy had probably knocked, tried to get Jaebum’s attention after opening the door, but it had been useless.
Jaebum cut off whatever he was saying with an apology before grabbing his bag and fleeing the room, embarrassed.
He hated when things like that happened. He felt jumpy and it took him a while to settle down again. It only reminded him how much he was missing about the world around him. Made him a little paranoid.
He should have set an alarm on his phone. The vibration would have reminded him to leave.
Heaving a deep sigh, he pulled his beanie lower over his eyes and headed towards his next class.
∾
Two hours later found him in one of of the school’s cafeterias, sketchbook out on the table where he was mindlessly doodling characters for a series of short comics he was planning for one of his final projects.
He felt the white plastic table move as someone sat down opposite him and he looked up, smiling as his roommate Jinyoung, and Jinyoung's boyfriend Mark, joined him.
Their schedules for this semester didn't match up all that well. There were six of them in their group of friends but they only had lunch all at the same time on Thursdays. Friday Jaebum had lunch with none of them, given that he had class from nine in the morning to two in the afternoon straight. He had the rest of the afternoon off though to make up for it.
Wednesdays he just had Mark and Jinyoung for company. Sometimes Bambam, a fashion student two years below them and Mark's roommate, would get let out early and join them but so early in the semester Jaebum doubted they'd see him today.
How was practice? Jinyoung signed.
They'd learned sign language together after the doctors had told Jaebum his hearing loss was permanent. Jinyoung had honestly been more the more determined one out of the two of them, always making Jaebum practice. He refused to speak to Jaebum using words for almost a month when they started learning, insisting that they both needed the practice. He still used it more often than anyone in Jaebum's life, using it at least once a day to make sure neither of them lost the language.
Jinyoung had been his best friend in high school, still was now, but now the word ‘best friend’ didn't seem enough to describe how close they were. His mom called them platonic soulmates and he would never admit it to anyone, but he felt that the phrase suited them better.
Jaebum tried to keep the sour expression off his face, but knew he didn't succeed when Jinyoung frowned. He was extremely protective over Jaebum, which was ridiculous since Jaebum was more than capable of taking care of himself.
“What happened?” Jinyoung asked aloud.
Jaebum had learned to read lips pretty quickly after the accident. He didn't really have a choice since no one he was close with knew how to sign. He didn't even know how to sign. Even though he still had around eighty percent hearing left in his left ear, he required a bone conduction hearing aid to hear. His concussion was bad enough that the doctors didn't want to introduce anything that sent vibration through his skull, which was how conduction aids worked, in case it made him worse. He wasn’t able to wear any hearing aid for over a month after the accident so he had to learn to lip read fast if he wanted to communicate without having people write everything down for him. He was still far from an expert at it, but Jaebum liked to think he did a pretty good job most days.
“Forgot to set an alarm. Some guy came in to use the room next. Started me is all.” Jaebum murmured.
Jinyoung sent him a pained expression. Nothing bothered Jinyoung more than when something bad had happened but there was no one at fault for him to tear a verbal strip off of.
Jaebum smiled and reached across the table to squeeze his friends arm. He was fine. Nothing had happened, really. “I’m fine.”
Jinyoung nodded and Jaebum pulled back his arm and leaned back in his chair. “How was your morning?” He asked, looking between the two as they settled opposite him.
Jaebum felt two pulses through the table as Jinyoung tapped it twice, a signal he’d created ages ago that indicated he wanted to say something. Jaebum could feel the vibration and look for the hand that tapped so Jaebum could transfer his attention to them instead. Mark did it too when he remembered, Jinyoung probably having explained the purpose of it, but Jinyoung never failed to do it. Sometimes Jaebum wondered if it had become such a habit that he tapped his fingers every time he wanted to speak.
“I already have a presentation next week.” He said.
From the look on his face, Jaebum could hear the whine in his tone and laughed. “Already?”
Jinyoung nodded. “We have to do a score analysis for a song. Each week a group presents and I just happened to be one of the unlucky group that has to go next week.”
“That sucks.” Jaebum sympathized. He was lucky that in his department he didn’t have to do a lot of presentations, his grades mostly consisting of written submissions given that he was doing a creative writing degree.
Jinyoung looked like he was going to respond when his gaze strayed to something behind Jaebum and Mark raised a hand and waved. Jinyoung signed lazily that Mark’s roommate was here.
Jaebum turned around, eyes scanning the people milling about the cafeteria for Mark’s roommate Bambam. He was surprised when someone who was definitely not Bambam stopped next to him, dropping his backpack on the table and opening it up.
Jaebum looked at Jinyoung in confusion as the guy beside him pulled out a black folder from his bag and handed it to Mark. Jinyoung just signed later before turning and saying hello to the newcomer.
Jaebum looked back up at the stranger beside him. He seemed friendly enough, smiling as he talked to Mark and Jinyoung as he zipped up his backpack. Jaebum wouldn’t have been surprised to find out the guy was in the athletics department given the way his long-sleeved T-shirt and ripped jeans hugged his generous biceps and thighs. He didn’t seem that tall, not standing all that much higher than Jaebum who was seated.
He laughed at something one of his friends said, tipping his head back and laughing with his whole body in a way that made Jaebum smile. Whoever this was, Jaebum bet that he was loud. Even without being able to hear anything, Jaebum thought he was loud. He seemed to radiate energy with everything he did from the way he talked with his hands to the way he threw himself backwards as he laughed.
He finished the conversation quickly, slinging his bag casually over one shoulder, almost hitting Jaebum in the process. He waved goodbye to everyone, even sending a smile to Jaebum, who he hadn’t exchanged a single word with, and then he was gone again.
Jaebum turned to Jinyoung. “What happened to Bambam?”
It was Mark who answered, tapping the table for Jaebum’s attention. “Bam was my roommate last semester. He and Yugyeom found an apartment together off campus.”
Mark had always been too lazy to move off campus and asked to stay in the dorms even though they were technically only for first years. His residence allowed it but he was assigned to help some of the foreign students get assimilated and oriented with the university. He’d been an exchange student his first year too so he knew what it was like to be alone in a new country with limited to no language skills.
“I thought it was for the year?”
“Normally yes, but Bam left so a space opened up. That was…”
Jaebum frowned and leaned closer, eyes on Mark’s lips. He didn’t recognize the shape they made, couldn’t figure out the name. “Who?”
Jinyoung grabbed Jaebum’s phone off the table and pulled out the stylus which automatically opened a note taking screen.
Sometimes lip reading wasn’t enough. Over half of lip reading was context, being able to match the shapes the lips made with words that fit together. There were so many sounds he couldn’t see through the movement of the lips so he had to be pretty good at guessing what words fit the context of the conversation. Most of the time Jaebum had no idea the literal sentences people spoke, but he was able to pick out enough words to get the gist of that was being said.
Sometimes it just wasn’t enough though and he couldn’t get enough key words and needed them in writing for him to be able to understand. When he was in an environment he wasn’t comfortable in, like a lecture or a tutorial, he had a speech-to-text app that translated everything being said to text on his phone or computer for him to read what was going on. But with his friends, he didn’t mind asking for clarification when he needed it, and they didn’t mind giving it to him.
Jinyoung wrote something quickly and then showed the text to Jaebum. It was an English word, which meant nothing to Jaebum, and Korean characters. “Jackson?” Jaebum read slowly, the grouping of syllables unfamiliar to him, before glancing up at Jinyoung for confirmation of his pronunciation.
Jinyoung nodded.
“He’s from Hong Kong.” Mark added after tapping once again for Jaebum’s attention. “He’s only here for this semester.”
“Is he in athletics?” Jaebum asked sarcastically.
Mark laughed and nodded. He said something else Jaebum couldn’t figure out.
He looked at Jinyoung, who was already reaching for Jaebum’s phone, once more writing what he somehow already knew Jaebum had missed. Honestly it was like Jinyoung shared his brain sometimes.
Mark commented all the time that Jinyoung and Jaebum were like two halves of the same person, which would prompt adamant refusals or fake gagging from the two but Jaebum honestly didn’t know what he’d do without his best friend. Jinyoung was the only one who treated him the same once they found out his hearing loss was permanent. He made all the changes so effortlessly it was as if they’d been doing them all their lives. He came up with accommodations for Jaebum and just did them, never needing to check in and explain them first, just filling a need that Jaebum hadn’t noticed was there. A lot of their friends couldn’t understand how the two could love one another so much but have zero romantic feelings for one another but the two thought of each other like family.
Jaebum read the screen as Jinyoung slid it over to him, then looked back up at Mark. “Fencing?” He had never met someone who could fence before. It was kind of cool if he was honest.
Mark nodded and said something about how Jackson was training a lot so Mark didn’t know much about him yet.
Jinyoung asked him something about the folder that Jackson had brought. Not caring about Mark's essay detailing the progress he was making on the game he was creating for his final project, Jaebum turned back to the doodles he’d been working on, his fingers absently spinning his pencil as his mind lingered on Jackson the fencer from Hong Kong.