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Rem Kaginuki couldn’t believe his eyes.
Sure, he was a bit interested in figure skating and he couldn’t resist the demands of the student body when one of them sent him a link to a Youtube video, but to witness two humans of the same gender share a kiss on the ice in front of the whole world was something else.
On his birthday, no less.
Something compelled him to rewatch the video. In it, Yuri Katsuki was the last to skate at the ISU Figure Skating Grand Prix Cup of China Men’s Free Skate. A few mistakes aside, he did an excellent job despite the fact that (and Rem did look it up later) he didn’t get enough sleep the night before. After a shocking attempt at the quadruple flip, which was a jump that only his coach, Viktor Nikiforov landed successfully, he did one last combination spin and held his final pose. As the audience cheered, Yuri looked around to see how Viktor reacted to his flip. He rushed over to greet Viktor, only to be met in turn by a glomp… and a tender kiss on the mouth. As the audience cheered, Yuri and Viktor gazed at each other with loving gazes before heading off to the kiss-and-cry.
Rem paused the video, and started thinking hard. Ever since he chose to stay in the human realm for his love for Ritsuka, the only kiss they shared was at the castle belonging to the former Vampire King. Since then, their only kisses were on the cheek, sometimes the neck. But never on the lips, for some reason. Not helping their case was her over-protective older brother Lindo, and the occasional visits from Urie, Mage, Shiki and Roen, who found it amusing to break the mood at the most inappropriate of moments.
Determined that Yuri and Viktor’s kiss on his birthday had a hidden significance to him, he decided that he would replicate the scene with Ritsuka, no matter what it takes.
2016
If Rem wanted to make this kiss as grandiose as possible, what better location would be to hold it at a public rink? Taking Ritsuka by the hand, Rem skated with utmost grace with her. Some people were already staring at the loving couple. Good. The more people noticing, the better. After all, he had watched that video many times and was determined that it will work. After all, if those two could do it, they could too.
Taking his position, he steadied himself and waited for Ritsuka to unknowingly get into the situation he wanted her to be in. And when she did, he took the jump, hoping that he would successfully initiate a kiss similar to the one at the Cup of China.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
The first time, Ritsuka was so shocked at his direct attempt, that he fell flat on his face. Embarrassed, he decided to try again when she felt ready. He WILL get it to work. After all, he was the Arlond heir, and the Arlonds ARE the most powerful family in Gehenna.
The second time, Rem caught Urie, Mage and Shiki giggling like a bunch of middle-school girls at him and lost his balance. They would get it from him when he came back.
(Roen was there too, but no one noticed. At least that was one advantage of being a lower-class Cerebus.)
The third time, Azuna happened to come by to pick Ritsuka up and drove him off with holy water. Disappointed at his failures so far, he settled with a peck on the cheek before sending both ladies off.
Oh well, there was always next year.
2017
Earlier on, Rem had booked an entire indoor rink to himself and Ritsuka. Telling the PA crew to play Yuri Katsuki’s free skate music at a certain timing, he took Ritsuka by the hand and led her on the ice. He had practiced a certain routine for ages and made entirely sure that no one would be around to disturb them.
When ‘Yuri on Ice’ started playing, he danced around her, subtly creating a few sparks to enchant her eyes. Seeing an impressed Ritsuka with a delighted look on her face, he was absolutely sure that this time, he will be able to replicate what was now known as the ‘Vikturi kiss’.
If it weren’t for some unnecessary interference.
The first time, some vampires who were very slow on the update regarding Nesta attacked them. After fending them off, he promised to himself that he would fix the rink before anyone noticed.
The second time, Rem felt a jolt and a shiver behind his back before he could so much as jump. Ritsuka swore that she heard some cackling in the distance, before assuring herself that only the two of them were there and no one else.
(Somewhere beyond linear space and time, a white-haired boy was laughing his ass off at Rem’s awkward attempts to imitate Viktor and Yuri, before turning his attention to a timeline belonging to a group of Shikoku-based magical girls and unleashed whatever hell he could think of on them.)
The third time, Lindo was the one to pick Ritsuka up and happened to witness Rem trying to kiss her. Furious, he stormed up to Rem and demanded an explanation. One quick brawl (and some shiitake mushrooms in Rem’s face) later, Rem swore that he will get that kiss to her, no matter what.
Next year, he promises.
2018
Having found a quiet lake in the nearby woods, Rem managed to get a servant with ice powers to ensure that the lake stayed frozen throughout the date. But before he could bring Ritsuka out, she asked him a question that made Rem quite red in the ears.
“What have you been trying to attempt on the ice all these years?”
Rem froze. Did she know? Even if she didn’t, how could she have realised? Stuttering, Rem tried to come up with a legit excuse, but was unable to get it out of his system. Words weren’t exactly his thing, per se.
Laughing, Ritsuka decided that if that were the case, shouldn’t SHE be the one doing it? It is his birthday, after all.
And with that, she led him towards the middle of the frozen lake…
And straight up french-dipped him.
Before a very red Rem tried to protest, she planted her lips on his. Damn, it felt so good! But it was disappointing at the same time, because all of Rem’s attempts to replicate the kiss had ended in failure.
Well, whatever. This would do just fine.
After all, they have as many years as possible to copy the figure skating lovebirds.
What the both of them didn’t know, however, was that Urie, Mage, Shiki and Roen were hiding in the bushes, and all had cameras in their hands, getting delightful footage of Rem and Ritsuka’s kiss on ice. Snickering to themselves, they collectively decided that if Rem were to refuse anything they asked, those videos would spread to the whole school. Lindo’s face if he saw those would be priceless!
And with that, they made a break for it, leaving Rem and Ritsuka to share one last tender kiss on the ice.