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Never Been In Love

Summary:

"Jake, whatever you are, I can promise this: there's nothing wrong with you."

or: Jake and Aubrey (and Dr Bonkers) have a late night heart to heart

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Flakes of snow drifted lazily onto the Monongahela forest, and the folks of the amnesty lodge were settled in for the night, in warm blankets to ward off the night chill.  Most off the lights were out, save for strings of faerie lights decorating the lodge that has yet to be taken down after candlenights, and the dim fizzling embers of the fireplace.

A chill breeze lingered, sneaking out from the front entrance of the lodge, snowflakes piling up around and on a figure hunched upon the front steps, backlit by the warm orange-red-pinks from inside.

It was to this sight that Aubrey laid eyes on, after intending to grab a glass of water and getting sidetracked. She stumbled towards them, with her duvet wrapped around her shoulders like a great adventurer or powerful wizard. Both of which, technically true. Despite his large size, perched on her shoulder sits Dr Harris Bonkers. PhD.

Sitting on the steps, staring at the stars, was a young man with curly blonde hair, seemingly unsuited for the cold, Dressed in only a crop top with the words 'COOL DUDE' on it and tacky snowman patterned boxers. He sat there lost in thought, idly fidgeting with a small woven bracelet on his right arm.

"Jake?" He's bolted out of his thoughts as she calls his name.

"Oh, hey Aubrey. Whatcha doin' up this late?" He asks, looking up at her. She shrugs.

"Could ask you the same thing. Aren't you cold out here or do you like have immunity to snow? Is that a thing?"

"Uh, I guess? Less of a ah. Snow immunity and more resistant to low temperature but I guess snow immunity sounds cooler so lets go with that."

"Yeah. Hey, is everything alright? You seem kinda bummed out" Aubrey says, sitting down next to him, taking Dr Bonkers off her shoulder and into her arms, like a fluffy, wiggly, pillow.

"Nah, I'm. I'm fin-" he starts to say, before thinking better of it. "I'm just thinking, and well. can I ask you something?"

"Shoot"

"So you and Dani, you're like. A thing right? Dating and all?" He asks, looking up at the stars.

"Well yeah. I mean i like her and she likes me, I mean we've never had like, an in depth conversation about it but we've been on dates and all, so. Y'know"

"But how do you know?" He asks. She furrows her brows, looking at him but he's still avoiding eye contact.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you know, like, when you like-like someone? Instead of liking them as a friend?" He wraps his arms around his knees, now staring down at the snow.

"I mean. Pretty easily I guess? My thought process when I first met her was like. On no she's cute" she says dramatically, to which Jake chuckles. "And I mean I'm not the kinda gal to think things though so. Just followed my gut cause I just knew?"

"Okay" he says, blankly. Aubrey stares at him concerned, before that expression melts into a wide grin.

Sooooo, white you thinking about?" she says in a slight singsong. He curls in on himself tighter.

"Nobody"

"Mmmhmmm" she hums in a disbelieving tone.

"No I really don't like. Like anyone." He goes quiet but in the way that one would when they have something else to say. Aubrey motions for him to continue, although the motion is mostly concealed by her blanket.

"I don't think I like anyone. Like romantically. At all. And I know that's a thing but actually applying that thing to me is. Something I'm having trouble doing?" He pauses, trying to think of how to phrase his next few words, while brushing off the snow that's landed in his hair. "I thought I knew who- and what I am? Was? But now I'm not sure because I thought I liked anyone? I never really felt a preference for guys, gals, or NB pals, so I just assumed I? Could like anyone? But now I'm realising that maybe I didn't feel one way or another because I just. Don't feel anything at all? Is that weird?"

"No, no that's not weird at all! And hell even if it were, it'd be far from the weirdest thing round here. I mean. With magic and bom-boms and all, weird is pretty much the norm here in Kepler." Dr Bonkers stares as if he's agreeing. Or as if he was hungry. Or cold. it's hard to tell with rabbits.

"Yeah, you've got a point there." He smiles slightly.

"So're you aromantic then?" Aubrey asks, tilting her head.

"I. Think so? Part of me is saying I'm being too hasty or I'm just weird or there's something wrong with me, or whatever. But also part of me that says hey maybe the complete absence of romantic attraction in my life might possibly mean I'm aro perhaps? Just a possibility?" He jokes, turning to look at Aubrey, who's looking kinda serious. Jake looks away, instantly nervous but Aubrey puts her hand on his shoulder.

"Jake, whatever you are, I can promise this: there's nothing wrong with you. And if you don't believe me" she says, then takes out Dr Bonkers from under the duvet and hands him to Jake, who's slightly confused but is also used to this. "Then believe in Dr Harris Bonkers, PhD, because he agrees and thinks you're great and you can trust him on that because he's a doctor.". Jake smiles and pets Dr Bonkers.

"Well, shit, now I gotta believe it. Thanks doc"

"Dr Harris Bonkers, PhD"

"Right, of course, thank you Dr Harris Bonkers. PhD.". The doctor shows his gratitude by flopping over and taking a nap. "And thanks Aubrey. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest." He says, still smiling. "Not the only thing I need off my chest if you know what I mean" he adds with a grin, unable to stop himself making a bad joke.

"Ayyyy" Aubrey replies with fingerguns, grinning. Jake opens his mouth to say something but yawns instead.

"Pretty late isn't it?" Jake asks, already knowing the answer.

"Eyup. You gonna head to bed, or you wanna talk some more?"

"Ah, I don't wanna keep you up any longer"

"Hey it's no problem. I was having trouble sleeping and I've already forgotten what I got up to do anyway." Aubrey grins. "And I mean it. You ever need to talk about something, I'm there for you, 'kay?"

"Thanks. That means a lot, Aubrey." Jake beams at her, hugging Dr Bonkers close to hide chest, to which Dr Bonkers huffs and does nothing. "If you wanna stay up, I happen to know where Barclay hides the mini marshmallows. For hot chocolate?"

"Oh fuck yeah"

Notes:

jake is aro and trans sorry i dont make the rules

title based off the song by will jay bc i was listening to it on repeat

wanted to try doing more writing and turned into heavily self projecting? i wrote and edited this at 3am and it probably shows