Chapter Text
We don't always get what we deserve, never mind what we want- Jisung learned that early on, he also understood that the industry he entered wasn't always the kindest. He knows that people will watch him and judge him but never truly understand him, that is the truth for all of them. He knows that but knowing something doesn't mean that it won't affect you anymore, thankfully he has his hyungs but even that seems to slowly be moving out of his reach.
He has twenty hyungs, twenty, and yet he rarely gets to meet or even talk to more than half of them. The 127 hyungs are always busy, and wayv in china, sure he still has his Dream hyungs but for how long? Chenle lives with his family and the rest of his dream hyungs are gradu-
“Why are you so quiet jisungie?” Jaemin ruffled the maknae's hair before plopping down to sit beside him.
“I'm usually quiet hyung, I'm not chenle.” He deadpanned, not even acknowledging the skinship that the other was imposing upon him.
“That is true but you're in the dance studio mochi, you only usually come here to dance.” Jaemin pinched his cheek fondly.
“I'm just resting.” He lied, hoping his hyung would let it go.
“You're not sweating maknae, something is eating you up inside, we can all tell. Injunnie, Jeno, Chenle, even Hyuck and Mark hyung, and they aren't even here.” Jisung flinched at the mention of the other members. “I won't force you to say anything, but when you finally want to talk about it, remember that you have so many older brothers you can talk to, OK?” Jisung nodded, thankful that Jaemin wasn't pushing.
The next few weeks were awkward for Jisung, he could feel his hyungs watching him constantly; he was never left alone. He knows that they were waiting for him to finally talk but Jisung doesn't quite know how to articulate his thoughts, so he kept mum. Every now and then Haechan, Mark and sometimes even Taeyong would call to check on them but it did nothing for the unexplainable knots forming in his heart.
It all finally became too much when he was left alone in the dorm as chenle was with his family and the 00’ line had a schedule of their own. All alone in the empty dorm, Jisung finally broke down, releasing some of the knots in his heart as he sobbed into his pillow. All on his own, his mind wandered…
‘Would the silence be his new norm after his hyungs graduate and move on?’
‘Mark had promised to call whenever he could but that wasn't very often, would the same thing happen when the rest of his hyungs graduate?’
‘Would they never have time for him anymore?’
‘What if he doesn't get along with the new members?”
On and on his mind wandered, until he fell into a fitful sleep. His thoughts following him into the land of dreams, giving him no respite.
When he woke up, it was to a pounding headache and a parched throat, he groaned at the discomfort and burrowed even deeper inside his blankets when a barrage of footsteps assaulted his sensitive ears.
“He's awake!” A voice that was definitely Chenle's penetrated the cocoon he had burrowed himself in.
“Miraculously, we can actually tell. Now lower your voice, his hearing is bound to be sensitive.” Jisung could envision the epic eye roll Haechan always did.
“So you're an expert now?” was Renjun's catty reply, in defense of his fellow Chinese. Jisung smiled even as the pounding in his head persisted.
“Lower the sass guys, come on Ji. We need to check on you.” Jisung froze at the familiar voice, before suddenly sitting up, completely ignoring the pain, he stared at their former leader. “Hey, slowly. How are you feeling? Do you want water?” All Jisung could do was nod and continue to stare, he never noticed Chenle going to get him water.
“Does your throat hurt?” Renjun's asked, reaching out to gauge the maknae's temperature, before clicking his tongue, shaking his head and leaving the room.
“Chenle said he's awake.” Jeno came in with a glass of water. He looked at the fragile looking maknae and decided to hold the glass himself glad that there was a straw to make it easier on Jisung. “Come on, little sips. The others cooked some food, do you think you'd be up to it? It's like a war out there, honestly.” Jisung tilted his head in confusion.
“You are loved maknae, you are our little brother, we care about you and we worry because you don't tell us what is bothering you. Now we find you burning with fever and a pillow soaked with tears…” Jeno explained to the maknae.
“Are they?” Jisung winced at how his voice sounded.
“Yes, everyone in the country at least. So if you feel up to it, we could move to the living because there is no way we can all fit in here without suffocating.” Mark hit Haechan for his tactless response.
“I- I think I can manage.” He mumbled trying to move from the bed before Mark stopped him.
“Nope, not happening, you just stay there.” He looked to Jeno who merely nodded before leaving the room, just a few seconds later Johnny entered the room and smiled at the sick boy.
“You don't look too well buddy. You sure you up to meeting everyone? We're all pretty worried; if not, I am sure the others would understand.” Johnny gently stroked the youngsters’ hair.
“Am sure hyung.” He mumbled and then he was carried of the bed, safe in his hyung's arms. He could hear whispered bickering from Haechan and Mark but couldn't make anything of it as his thoughts warred inside his head. Johnny was shoved away as soon as Jisung was comfortable on the couch, in his place was a clearly worried Jaehyun, Taeyong, and Jaemin who were all talking and patting him simultaneously.
“Guys, we all talked about this, give him space. He is sick enough as it is. You three back inside the kitchen, don't leave Doyoung to do all the work.” Taeil said firmly, Jisung couldn't help but smile; people thought that Taeil was too timid or too childish to be the oldest member of NCT, but behind that persona is the only person who can actually cow all the members when it mattered.
“But hyung I-” 127’s leader started.
“Finish what you started, we will take care of him meanwhile, knowing you and Jaemin, we won't have a chance later.” Taeyong sighed, before nodding and leaving, but not before stroking Jisung hair gently; Jaemin and Jaehyun were quick to follow, with the former kissing Jisung’s forehead.
“Keep drinking, you need to rehydrate.” Yuta held out a glass of water with a straw.
“Thanks hyung” Jisung made a face after hearing how raspy his voice still was.
“Is your throat still uncomfortable?” Renjun's asked.
“ yeah” he rasped again.
“Do not strain your throat.” Jungwoo said softly.
“I'll make you tea.” Renjun's said resolutely before marching towards the kitchen.
“He's worried, not angry; you should know the difference by now mochi.” Jeno commented as he made himself comfortable beside Jisung. “Are you cold?” Jisung gathered his thoughts for a moment before nodding.
“I'll get his blanket” Jungwoo skipped of to the general area of the rooms. Chenle, who was finally kicked out of the kitchen settled himself beside his best friend and casually drew circles onto the others hand to make him relax. Jungwoo came back with the blanket and dumped it over the three dreamies before going to the other 127 members; with his eyes closed, Jisung could hear them quietly discuss their schedules, from the kitchen he could hear the pans sizzling, the water boiling, his hyungs bickering, and for the first time in weeks- no - months, for the first time in months things finally seemed right.
Sure they aren't complete and the worries are still there in the back of his mind but at that moment, cuddled between two of his members, with the noise of his hyungs all around- even just for that moment, everything was perfect.