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“Well now I’m very uneven...” And Beth had meant it. She’d gone into the waxing place that day hoping for a Brazilian and come out with a landing strip not even the most daring of pilots would attempt to land on.
Well at least her lady bits matched her life, the unfinished waxing being the only action she’d gotten in a long time not supplied by her own hand and the vibrator in her nightstand Dean pretended not to know about.
The funny thing was she’d done it for Dean as much as for herself. She’d stepped out of the shower that morning and glanced down at the overgrown soft red curls in her bathroom mirror and booked an appointment. Maybe she’d get waxed and suggest to Dean they go out to dinner at the marina, perhaps spend the night at a fancy hotel. She was certain Annie wouldn’t mind watching the kids for one night. Beth wanted to put a spark in their love life that hadn’t been there since Emma was born.
Instead Beth Boland was left with an asymmetrical bush, a cheating husband, and debt up to her eyeballs. She’d felt her heart crack when the sales girl had shown her the overpriced, sparkly, dental floss that was obviously not meant for her. Beth had always been more practical in her underwear shopping and it was difficult enough to find a bra that fit her generous bust outside the color spectrum of beige. She had a few more risque thongs like the lacy blue number but the chance of Dean ever seeing any of them flew out the window when she and Annie were presented with Amber’s sequined gift on the hanger.
‘ God Dean really had no taste whatsoever’ Was a thought that kept repeating over and over as she cried on the couch and slugged vodka. It had always been like that between them, she’d wanted a nice understated home with crafts, baking, and a warm loving environment. Dean wanted to sell piss yellow corvettes, star in cheesy flying pig commercials, and to round off the sleazy car salesman cliche bang his secretary while Beth played Suzy homemaker.
So to one up Dean and to save her family from sleeping on the streets, Beth Boland robbed a grocery store with her little sister and her best friend. They’d meant to take 30 grand but had walked away with half a million. It had been exhilarating, terrifying, and more satisfying than she thought possible.
She’d carried that confidence with her when confronting Amber, the poor ditz, although Beth did slightly envy the younger woman at least Amber had an easy way out. Four children and three mortgages tied her to Deansie although Beth loved her children and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Unfortunately the boost in confidence hadn’t lasted much longer after leaving the dealership.
Beth’s insecurities had bubbled up after dealing with her husband’s blonde child-mistress. Amber had been all tan skin, perky b cups, and a lithe figure so very much a porn producers dream. Beth on the other hand had four kids which over the years had made her more curvy no matter how much yoga she did and her breasts seemed to grow a cup size with every child.
But Beth knew she had a least a little something left to entice the opposite sex. She was perceptive of the lingering gazes of the dads on her cleavage at the PTA meetings when she’d bend over the snack table to sample the hummus or how the bag boys at the check-out stand would blush when she’d flash them a smile in thanks, Annie would make obnoxious gagging noises every time.
Had she leant into it? No. Had she worn more revealing tops and winked and flirted with the dads at the meeting? No. Had she’d slipped her number to the bag boys? Again no. Instead she’d worn more dowdy clothes and yammered on about coupons and her kids until the Fine and Frugal boys lost interest. Because she was loyal...because she was good.
So she’d paid the mortgage, the credit cards, she’d even gotten rid of Dean’s little play thing or so she hoped. Her husband soon to be ex was gone, packed up to a dingy little motel and she was free to do whatever she wanted...maybe buy some high end lingerie online.
“Hey Buddy do you need to go out? Need to go peepee?” She questioned not above babying the dog.
“Nah It’s aight we took him out.” Her groceries were on the floor at the sound of the unfamiliar voice.
As she rounded the corner and her frightened blue eyes met smoldering dark brown, Beth know one thing was for certain.
Her uneven life was about to be turned upside down.