Chapter Text
The alarm went off at 6 am.
Shiro woke with a jolt. He had finally fallen asleep after rolling around in his bed for what it felt like eternity. Still, getting at least a couple hours was better than getting no sleep.
He sat up, stretching his arm and legs, then yawned while groping blindly for his prosthetic. Because of the socket on his shoulder, he couldn't lie on his right side anymore, and before Kerberos, it had been his favorite side to sleep on. Probably because Adam had favored the left side of the bed.
Apparently some habits die hard.
He put on his sweatpants, tightening the drawstring, and went for his morning jog, like he had done for so many years, even while living in the Castle. The brisk morning air made goosebumps rise on his bare arms.
This morning, he didn't have time for a full run, just the little warm up to get his day started. To get his feet pounding against the ground. To get his head cleared from the things he saw every night.
It felt so much better now that he had real ground beneath his feet. Somehow it made everything more palpable. Maybe because in the Castle, he knew underneath the floor, there was just the endless space.
Half an hour later, Shiro headed back towards the officers' building where his quarters were. After a quick shower, he dressed up in his full uniform, medals and all, and marched down the parking lot to get one of the official Garrison hover cars. He had an appointment to get to, and he didn't want to be late.
*
Shiro stared at the papers in his hand. It was unbelievable. After years, no, after decades of knowing for sure that his body was going to betray him sooner or later, he finally had it. A clearance.
Free of all illnesses.
Of course he already knew it. Coran had run several tests on his body as soon as they got the pods working on Earth, but Shiro needed the local doctors' opinion. He needed to see it with his own eyes, the papers declaring him healthy, written by the same doctors who had treated him so many years ago.
Healthy.
The whole world was open for him. No more Arena. No more war. No more space travels, though if he was honest with himself, he could maybe do with a little bit of space travel after a while.
Shiro shoved the papers in his messenger bag, adjusted the strap and headed for the doors. He got out and was squinting at the bright sunlight, when someone walked right into him.
He wasn't prepared and almost fell down, his arms reflexively wrapping around the other stumbling body, steadying them both.
"Sorry, sorry, oh god, sorry…" a familiar voice was babbling at Shiro's chest.
"That's alright, are you– Matt?"
They hadn't really seen each other during the last few months, Shiro being busy making public appearances and helping in any way he could, Matt organizing the worldwide logistics, helping set up the new defense grids, cleaning up the mess the Galra had left in their network, probably doing a thousand other things Shiro hadn't even heard about. Still, he would have recognized Matt anywhere.
Matt had his long hair tied in a ponytail, the strands of it escaping the rubber band, flying on his eyes in the gush of wind. He brushed them off while looking up and down at Shiro and smiling.
"Long time no seen," Matt said. "If I didn't see you every day on news feeds, I would have thought you'd dropped off the planet. You've missed the last, oh, ten Sunday dinners by now."
"Yeah," Shiro said, blushing a bit under Matt's intense stare. He hadn't gone to the Holts Sunday dinner lately. He had tried to, but it had been too much for him.
The first time was right after finishing off the last of Galra. It was a small affair with all the paladins and all the Holts. And of course, Matt's girlfriend. The next one after that had been bigger, kind of like a real celebration. Even Iverson had shown up along with Garrett family and of course, Mcclain family. They had had to set up a campsite backyard because even the Holts didn't have enough room for so many people.
It had been too much for Shiro. Way too much. He remembered how Matt had found him fake-sleeping in his old room. He had stayed in the room for minute or two, presumably staring at Shiro while he tried to keep his breathing steady. After Matt had finally gone back to the backyard, Shiro had waited a moment before saying his goodnights to the Holts.
The Garrison had provided him with an officer class room that had a private bathroom and too much closet space.
It was fine, though, it was just a place to sleep.
"What're you doing here? You don't look like you were hit by a bus," Matt chuckled. "You sick or something?"
"You mean the hospital?" Shiro asked, glancing at the large shining glass doors behind him. "They just finished the last tests today, I finally got healthy papers."
Shiro dug the papers out of his bag again to show them to Matt who gave them a cursory glance.
"I thought Coran already made some pods for Garrison to use?"
"Yeah, they did," Shiro admitted, feeling a little stupid. "I just needed the Earth doctors to say the same. They're the ones who, you know... I saw them a lot before... before Kerberos."
"Sure thing, I remember," Matt nodded, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Sooooo, celebratory drinks first, or should we go full on party mode? There's a strip club a few blocks down."
"What? No! How do you know there's a strip club? Aren't you dating N-7?"
Matt cackled, shaking his head.
"Oh man, she'd been in the first row, spending way too much 'Earth Money' because even with the Cogni Tool she didn't have a clue what was the difference between one dollar and a hundo. Thank fuck I'm broke, so she couldn't spend all my money."
"Oh?" Shiro was flabbergasted. The conversation had taken a very weird turn. "So, where is she?"
"Went back to Akiba, she was here just for the exotic experience," Matt grinned. "And you gotta admit, there are few things more exotic than me, right?"
Shiro laughed, he couldn't help it. Matt was standing in a superman pose, strands of hair flailing around his face, his eyes glinting in mischief. And he looked good.
Shiro had missed Matt. Not consciously, he had been too busy for that, but now that he actually saw Matt, could even touch Matt if he wanted to, the realization hit him like a brick.
"I agree," Shiro folded his hands behind his back. "You are quite a sight to see."
Matt winked at Shiro, and handed the papers back.
"So, do you have some important hero business to attend to, or are you free to grab a coffee?"
Matt said it so easily, and Shiro couldn't even bring himself to go for a hug. Would it be weird to do now? Yes, it would. He should have hugged Matt right from the start. He had the memories of the clone and he knew his body had hugged Matt when Pidge found him, but he had never had the pleasure. Not after they left for Kerberos.
Shiro shook his head to clear his thoughts. This was not the right time nor the place to be thinking about Kerberos.
The wind seemed chillier somehow, and Shiro wrapped his arms around him, barely noticing how Matt's eyebrows rose up.
"So, no for the coffee, or no for the hero business?"
Shiro realized, he hadn't answered the question.
"Oh, yeah, we can grab coffee, sure! Yeah, I'd like that! It's been a while."
"I'm not gonna even ask for which one it's been a while because I happen to know that you don't function at all before you get your first cup of coffee, Mr. I'll Have It As Black As The Night," Matt chuckled, nodding towards the nearest coffee shop which was one they'd gone before. In their old lives.
"Fair enough," Shiro chuckled. Matt knew him well, naturally, since they'd been roommates for four years at Garrison. Knew him maybe better than anyone else, even Keith. Maybe even better than Adam had ever known him.
"So, how's life?" Shiro asked to distract himself from thinking about Adam.
And while Matt rattled on about the new fusions they had been doing at Garrison, and around the world, the open patents they had offered free for anyone to use, blueprints for healing pods for every single hospital on Earth, Shiro felt at ease. For the first time, in a very long time.
"Still the black coffee man?" Matt asked, flashing his ID to the register.
"You know it," Shiro answered easily. "You don't have to–"
"Now, now, Shirogane, I asked you out, so it's my treat. You can get the next one," Matt said over his shoulder, before getting a triple espresso for himself, and a regular coffee for Shiro.
They found a table by the corner. It was close to the windows but not right next to them, and Shiro was glad that there was a wall behind his back. Matt didn't seem to have any problems turning his back to the strangers at the cafe, and it made Shiro kind of jealous. Matt didn't even budge as the waiter brought their orders, just thanked him and sipped from his cup.
"Nice digs!" Matt said, looking around. "They must have changed re-decorated here a bunch of times while we were away, but it still has the same... feeling, you know? Like there should be a jukebox in the corner, and waiters with the rollerblades."
Shiro shrugged. Yes, the coffee shop was giving off antique vibes but he wasn't as familiar of Earth's history as Matt was. Back at the Garrison, Matt had force fed him several old classic movies, and he still remembered a particular evening when they had watched the old 1950's Dracula with Matt and Adam. The memory of holding hands with Adam still early in their relationship, sitting a little behind Matt so that he wouldn't notice.
Of course, Matt had known. It was a very real possibility that Matt had known about Shiro's feelings towards Adam even before Shiro realized them himself. But the excitement, the freshness of it all. The memory lingered even now, even if it was marred by the sorrow and pain still residing in his heart.
"Soooo, what've you been up to?" Matt asked, after a moment of silence. He was smiling slightly, like he knew that Shiro's thoughts were miles away but was not offended by it.
"You know, being the poster boy," Shiro answered easily.
"Once the hero, always the hero!" Matt announced a little too loudly. He got a few glances from the patrons sitting around them, but just brushed it off. "Yeah, I know, I've been watching the news feed. You've pretty much got everything covered then? At least, around here?"
"Re-building has been continuing steadily," Shiro admitted. He looked at his coffee cup, gathering his thoughts. "We've got the Garrison back on its feet, and have been sending help to the major cities that suffered the most. But you know this already. I've been watching the news feed too, you know."
Matt shook his head but kept his smile on.
"Sure, yeah. Dad's been pushing me in front of the cameras. I guess he's worried that I don't get recognized enough. I'm not too worried about it, though, I prefer to work from the shadows."
"Like a ninja?" Shiro smirked.
"The coolest ninja there is," Matt nodded, winking for the good measure.
"You're not planning on going back to the rebels?" Shiro asked.
Matt gave Shiro a fond smile. Almost like he knew what the answer meant. Shiro had been pretty sure that all the paladins would stay on Earth, at least for the time being, but Matt was a question mark, now more than ever. Even though there was always the possibility of Keith wanting to join the Blades again, Shiro was confident that he wasn't going to stay away for long, if he even decided to go back.
"I think my rebel years are behind me," Matt said. "I mean, I've seen what space has to offer, I've known and loved many, many aliens," Matt winked again, "but this is where my family is."
Shiro knew the feeling. Even though he didn't have blood relatives alive on Earth anymore, the base was still his home. The paladins his family, and Matt... well, Matt was his friend. For the first time in years, Shiro felt like he belong. He didn't have the urge to reach for the stars anymore. In a few years, sure, he could visit other Alliance planets, why not. The Black Lion wasn't his to command anymore, but he was confident that the traveling part wasn't going to be a problem.
"I'm glad you're here," Shiro said, smiling more genuinely now. "I feel like I've lost too many friends already."
"Not anymore, Shirogane, I'm gonna stick around even if you wouldn't want me to!" Matt boasted. "You couldn't drag me– well, I mean, technically you could because holy shit those muscles! I bet you could still bench press me easily even if I'm no beanpole anymore."
The comment made Shiro look a bit closer. Matt was right, he had finally bulked up. He wasn't the boy who flew to Kerberos with him anymore. The war, the travels. The abduction, had left their mark on Matt as well, and even though his hair hadn't turned white like Shiro's had, he carried visible battle scars. And there was something in his eyes that Shiro didn't quite catch.
Then Matt laughed and broke the spell.
"Easy on the eyes, right?"
"Yeah, very," Shiro chuckled, blushing a bit.
Not that his physique mattered, Matt had always been something worth looking. At some point, Shiro had tried to muster the courage to ask him out, but then Adam had happened, and with Adam, everything had been easy from the start. No pining, no guessing. One day, after the simulation, Adam had just grabbed Shiro by the arm and started to gush about the exercise, praising his test scores and then second-guessing his other abilities in one fluent sentence. It took ten minutes to his mental capacities to Adam, and after that, they had almost kissed.
But even after all these years, Shiro still felt that same tingling when he looked at Matt. He had thought it was just happiness for seeing Matt alive, but now he wondered if it actually was something else.
"Matthew 'The Eye Candy' Holt, at your service," Matt mock bowed at Shiro, still smiling widely. "Fuck, Shirogane, you know this is probably the first time I see you smiling this much, like, forever! After getting your officer stripes, you stopped goofing around. I've been missing that old Shiro."
"Ha! I think that Shiro is dead and buried!" Shiro snorted, then he immediately regretted his choice of words, but Matt didn't seem to mind.
"That sounds like a challenge. And it's accepted!"
Shiro chortled. Maybe time would tell.