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It was one of those nights when everything seemed perfect. Especially if that night came after a day of victory, and even more so if the night was spent with someone you really liked.
That was exactly what Maddox was doing. Following Jackie’s advice at the bar, he’d taken home the most attractive person he could find: one surgical intern by the name of Dr. Bryce Lahela.
Bryce had always been an amazing partner, but this time felt special. It was perhaps the way Bryce held his face as he kissed him, over and over until he was dizzy, the way he cried out Maddox’s name as he climaxed…or the way he was holding him in his arms now, as they lay together under the covers, his fingers tracing lazily up and down his arm.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Bryce broke the peaceful silence by asking. His voice sounded a little hoarse, and Maddox smiled, knowing he was responsible for that.
“I’m thinking about you.”
He could hear the smile in his voice as he asked, “Good thoughts?”
“Oh, yes. Good thoughts only.”
“Well…” Maddox ran a light hand over Bryce’s taut chest, enjoying the way he shuddered in response. “A few dirty thoughts might’ve slipped through, but I’m only human.”
“Oh yeah?”
Maddox looked at Bryce. He was smirking, suddenly sitting up a little straighter.
“What kind of dirty thoughts?”
“I think you know.”
“No, I don’t.” Bryce’s grin widened. He dipped his head down to the crook of Maddox’s neck, and kissed him right there.
He held back a gasp as he ran his lips over a sensitive spot. “If…you think that’s going to work, you’re wrong.”
“Oh, fine.” Bryce stopped the assault on his neck. “But I know for a fact that you like it.”
“I like you.” The words were out before Maddox could stop them. Bryce lifted his head and looked at him, surprise flitting in his eyes. But then he flashed him an easy smile.
“Of course you do. I’m very likeable.”
There it was. Just when Maddox thought they were going somewhere with their relationship, Bryce put up his walls again. Maybe it was because of today’s hearing, and the fact that they were nearing the end of their first year of residency, but Maddox suddenly felt the need to be going somewhere with this. Whatever “this” was. And he needed to know if he meant as much to Bryce as he did to him.
“Do you remember our conversation in the bathroom?” Maddox began, keeping his voice level.
It was weeks ago, when they’d hooked up after finding a cure for Mrs. Martinez. But if he were being honest, their conversation still rang in his head as loud and clear as Bryce’s words were right now.
“Before we go any further, you should know…this means something to me.”
“It does?”
“Does it…to you?”
“Can’t you tell?”
“Yeah, I guess I can tell.”
Looking into Bryce’s eyes, he knew he remembered, too.
“Yes, I do,” He sighed, and leaned back into the pillows again. Maddox waited.
“Maddox?” Bryce asked suddenly. Maddox was surprised by the amount of emotion barely concealed in his voice.
“Yes?”
“Can I tell you about my family?”
He swallowed. Bryce had hinted before about his poor relationship with his family, but was never willing to share about that part of him. Until now. He wondered where he was going with this.
“Sure.”
His voice heavy, Bryce began.
“You know I mentioned moving to the furthest college I could find, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Yeah. I was trying to avoid my father. And I say father, because he was never a dad—not to me, at least.”
Maddox was taken aback by the bitterness in Bryce’s voice, but remained silent.
“When we were growing up, he always went on and on about my brother and sisters: about how perfect, and just how brilliant they were. I never knew what I did wrong. Old man’s hated me ever since I was born. Maybe he saw something I didn’t, like I was marked for failure, like I was a mistake. Mom never said anything, ‘cause she was scared of him too. She let him…”
His voice caught in his throat.
“…My father always called me stupid. Worthless. That I’d only come to this world to break everything I touched, and that I was a waste of breath, and that, and that…”
Bryce wiped roughly at his eyes. Maddox couldn’t find any words that could possibly make him feel better.
“…I was better off gone.”
“No,” Maddox whispered, feeling a chill in his spine. He wrapped his arms tightly around Bryce, feeling the other man shiver. “Never. You’re worth so much, Bryce. You do so much good.”
“I know that now,” Bryce said quietly. “Fifteen-year-old Bryce didn’t—that idiot tried to kill himself. They found him in his room, popping melatonin like candy. Emergency services came and saved me. From that day on, my mom thought she could try and protect me from the world, by practically locking me at home, and never allowing me to go anywhere or do anything. Father was worse.”
“What did he do?” Maddox felt dread in his stomach like ice.
“That was around the time he lost his job, and he was the sole breadwinner for our family. When I did…that, he started ignoring me. I thought it was better at first, until he started avoiding my mom and siblings, too. He went out, every day, and came back at the strangest times, always smelling like alcohol and some other woman. My mom was…her usual self. Turned a blind eye to it all.
Bryce laughed mirthlessly.
“Only one time, he came back, completely wasted. With the other woman he’d been seeing on his arm. I think something snapped in my mom—but I’ll spare you the details, okay? Anyway, the police arrived. It ended with divorce, restraining orders, jail time for my dad, and a whole lot of counselling for us. I tried to help my mom out in the new house we moved into, by working all sorts of jobs. My siblings helped, too, but after growing up practically separate from each other, we could never become close. We only did it for her.
“When I finished high school, I knew what I wanted to do—become a doctor, and help people like those doctors did for me. And I thought that maybe, if I succeeded, I could eventually help my mom out too. But first, all I wanted to do was get far, far away, out of my hometown, and actually live for the first time in my life.”
The air suddenly felt a lot heavier, as if the demons that’d been in Bryce all this while had finally been released.
“You went to Stanford, right?”
“Yes.” A small smile flashed across his face. “I’m…really proud of that. Once I got there, I knew I’d be great at what I’d set out to do. And I told myself I’d never be that fifteen year old ever again.”
Maddox wrapped his arms tighter around Bryce, as if he could somehow physically take the pain away. He squeezed back, almost desperately, and silence fell over them again.
“Thank you for telling me all this,” Maddox said. He met Bryce’s eyes, now lined with red and glistening in the dim light. “I know it wasn’t easy.”
Bryce let out a dry chuckle, wiping at his eyes again. “No, it wasn’t.”
He looked away. “I’m sorry for just dumping all that on you. But I thought that maybe since, I don’t know…”
Maddox had never seen Bryce like this. He seemed almost nervous—a word he thought could never be used to describe him.
“I have feelings for you too.” He said quietly. “But before we…before we…I thought you deserve to know who I really am.”
Maddox propped himself up and looked at him. “And who’s that? You’re still Bryce Lahela, aren’t you?”
He sighed. “Yes, but—”
Maddox cut him off with a kiss. Bryce let out a surprised sound, but allowed himself to be silenced, shoulders relaxing as he pushed his lips back against his.
He felt hot tears on his face, and his heart broke for Bryce. He never expected this much pain behind those warm eyes, or that megawatt smile.
“You trying to shut me up?” Bryce murmured. Maddox smiled.
“Yes.” He moved on top of Bryce, staring the other man down. “Look. There’s nothing you can tell me about your past, or your family, that can make me change my mind about you. You’re still Bryce. And I like you for who you are now.”
Wonder, surprise, and sadness all flicked across Bryce’s expression. He gazed up at him, lips slightly parted, as if he wanted to speak, but was unable to find words. Maddox decided to do the talking for him.
“I want to be with you, if you’ll have me.”
“I…”
Bryce reached up a hand and placed it on his cheek, stroking gently. Then he suddenly broke into a huge grin, wider and more genuine than Maddox had ever seen him smile. He smiled like he was finally free.
“That…sounded like a marriage proposal, Welles.”
…And there it was. The Bryce he knew and loved, but also different. Renewed.
“Maybe we can hold that off for now,” Maddox said, unable to contain a grin of his own. He leaned in and kissed Bryce once more.
“We’re literally lying in bed naked, Mads. But alright.”
He shook his head, swatting at Bryce’s chest. “Don’t ruin the moment.”
“Now hold on a second!” Bryce’s hands slid down his body, resting at Maddox’s waist. “I haven’t answered yet.”
His eyes were bright as he gazed up at him. “I want to be with you too, Maddox.”
Maddox’s heart jumped—he felt like a teenager with an requited crush. He smiled at Bryce, suddenly giddy. “...Okay.”
“‘Okay’? That’s it?”
“Sorry—I’m just happy.” Heat crept up his cheeks. “Thank you.”
“No,” Bryce said softly. He pulled Maddox’s chin down for another tender kiss. “Thank you. I’ve never told anyone about all that before, and you listened. And you’re…you’re…”
He broke off and laughed, as though in disbelief.
“…And you’re still here.”
“You couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried, Lahela.”
“Good, because I never want to.”