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It’s been years since Soonyoung and Jihoon took over the flower shop. Soonyoung’s mom gave it to them as a wedding gift. Yes, the two had been happily married for four years already and few months from now, it will be their fifth.
Their business had been growing so well. There are a lot of clients booking them to handle events. Soonyoung and Jihoon just knew that they really make a good team. Soonyoung was of course in charge of the theme and the flowers. Jihoon was in charge of the documentation and their signature souvenirs.
Today is an ordinary day but Soonyoung had been so busy thinking of a possible surprise for Jihoon. He’s very creative when it comes to business but with Jihoon? His mind suddenly goes blank. Plus, it would be tough since he had to get a separate notebook for his plans because Jihoon would always grab his old notebook to scribble some sweet messages or stuck random pictures.
“Hon?” Jihoon snapped his fingers in front of Soonyoung. Soonyoung was just sitting by the counter, clearly spacing out. “You okay?” Jihoon cupped and squished his husband’s face which made the latter’s cheeks fluffier. Jihoon smiled brightly before placing a soft peck on Soonyoung’s lips.
Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Jihoon and made the latter sit on his lap. Jihoon locked his hands around Soonyoung’s neck.
“I love you.” Soonyoung whispered before burying his face on Jihoon’s neck.
Jihoon chuckled. “You’re so cute. I love you too, Soonyoung.” He brushed Soonyoung’s hair. “But honestly, what were you thinking a while ago? You seem lost with your own thoughts.”
Soonyoung shook his head and kissed Jihoon’s cheek. “I’m thinking about how I would spend my forever with you. It would be a lot of years. I better think of something fun so that you won’t be bored with me.”
“Oh my god. Where did you learn that?” Jihoon laughed. “That is so cheesy. I hate you.” Both of them giggled.
This is what Soonyoung loves seeing the most. Smiling, laughing, happy, Jihoon. He loves how the corners of Jihoon’s eyes would wrinkle, the comforting sound of his laugh, everything. Soonyoung loves everything about Jihoon. It feels home. Jihoon is his home.
“Okay, let’s save the cuddle session for later.” Jihoon was about to pull away but Soonyoung didn’t let him. “Soon—”
“Five minutes.” Soonyoung said while resting his head on Jihoon’s shoulders.
The latter just sighed. “Fine.” Customers might come any minute, but who cares? What’s important is them, savoring every minute with each other.
Five minutes went so fast. Soonyoung protested but Jihoon didn’t let himself fall for Soonyoung’s charms. Jihoon took his camera and captured the sulking Soonyoung. “Stop acting cute, we still have work to do.” He took out the polaroid film and stuck it inside Soonyoung’s notebook.
“Stay there, I’ll go check the flowers in the garden.” Jihoon pinched Soonyoung’s cheeks before going. “I’ll be quick.”
The door chimes suddenly rang when a customer stepped inside. Soonyoung quickly stood from his seat and greeted the customer with a bright smile. “A blooming day to you! Looking for flowers?”
The customer scanned the shop first, looking at the bouquet of flowers displayed at the shelf. Soonyoung just watched the customer.
Tall. Sun-kissed skin that complements his dark brown hair. Definitely good-looking.
But, nope. Soonyoung hasn’t seen this customer before.
The guy nodded at Soonyoung before replying. “Yes. I’m here to buy flowers.” He looked around once more. “But…”
“Yes?”
The customer gave Soonyoung a shy grin, rubbing his palms on his nape. “I really don’t know what to pick. I mean, all the flowers here are pretty, but I really don’t know what to give to him.”
“Him?”
“Yeah…It’s for my boyfriend.”
“Oh, really?” Soonyoung replied as he prepared his materials for making a bouquet. “Don’t worry. My husband and I will prepare the best flowers for you.” He felt quite relieved when he saw his client smiled.
“Husband?”
“Yep.” Soonyoung nodded. He rolled out the purple parchment and began cutting it. Jihoon came in right in time, busy scanning the pictures in his camera. “Oh, he’s here.” Soonyoung chuckled.
Jihoon lifted his head and stared at the guys in front of him. “Talking ‘bout me?”
The customer’s eyes grew wide upon seeing Jihoon. The latter looked a bit surprised too.
“Oh?” Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows at the customer. “I think I’ve seen you before.” He massaged his temple, thinking hard.
“Jihoon-hyung. It’s me. Kim Mingyu.” His eyes suddenly got excited upon seeing a long-time friend. “We both attended the special class for photography, remember?”
“Ah! Right!” Jihoon put down his camera to greet his old friend properly. “How have you been?”
“I’m doing great. I already have my own studio. Well, I didn’t know that you’re already married. Congratulations.”
Jihoon chuckled. “Thanks. And how about you?”
“Well I’m not married, yet. But I’m living with my partner.” Mingyu smiled. “I’m here to get flowers for him. I’m gonna visit him at the hospital.”
“Why? Is he sick?”
Mingyu laughed and shook his head. “Nope. He’s a doctor.”
“I see.” Jihoon gestured Mingyu to go to Soonyoung, who was just watching them. “Well, obviously you already met my husband, Kwon Soonyoung. The best florist in town.” He winked at Soonyoung. “Well, you should go to the garden now. I’ll go grab some food.”
Soonyoung accompanied Mingyu to the garden. He felt really happy upon seeing Mingyu’s face light up he saw the flowers. “They’re beautiful, right?”
Mingyu hummed in response. “
“What’s the name of your partner again?”
“Wonwoo.”
“What was Wonwoo’s favorite flower?” Soonyoung asked.
Mingyu bit his lips. “Uhm… I actually don’t know.” He scratched his temples. “This is the first time I’ll buy flowers for him.”
“Well, what is he like?”
“Uhmm…” Mingyu pursed his lips, constructing th right words inside his mind. “Well, he’s a very busy person. He’s a doctor so he spends most of his time at the hospital.” He paused and smiled. “But he always makes sure that he meets me every other day. We’ll just eat together. Maybe watch movies. I don’t know. We like doing simple things. We just enjoy each other’s company.”
Mingyu saw Soonyoung holding a bunch of flowers already. But it seems like he’s still looking for something to add to the arrangement.
Soonyoung stood in front of some white little flowers. “If you would describe the love that you have with Wonwoo with just one word, what would it be?”
Mingyu chuckled. “Wow. It feels like it’s a million-dollar question.”
They laughed.
“Pure.” Mingyu answered.
Soonyoung grinned and proceeded to cut the stems of the flowers in front of him. “Baby’s breath.”
They went back to the store. Soonyoung carefully place the bouquet of flowers on the special paper in front of him. It’s a combination of red and white roses and baby’s breath. Mingyu can’t stop smiling while staring at the flowers.
“Jihoon-hyung is right.” Mingyu said. “You really are the best florist in town.”
Soonyoung shook his head. “That’s too much of a compliment.” He tied a red ribbon around the bouquet as a finishing touch. “Here you go.”
“Wow.” Mingyu was left in awe upon seeing the finished product. “It’s really beautiful.”
“I hope Wonwoo will love it as well.”
“Well, I am very sure of it.” Mingyu replied. “Oh, here.” He paid for the flowers and gave Soonyoung a calling card. “You can contact me if ever you need something.
Soonyoung took it and stuck it inside his notebook.
Jihoon arrived while holding a paper bag in his hands. “You guys done already? I bought food.” He saw the flowers Mingyu was holding. “Wow. It looks really nice. Great job, hon.”
Soonyoung slightly looked away, trying to hide his blushing face. Mingyu just let out a soft laugh.
“I think I need to go already.” He checked his watch. “Wonwoo’s waiting for me.”
“You sure you don’t wanna grab some food first?” Jihoon said while placing the food on the table.
Mingyu shook his head. “No thanks, I’m gonna grab lunch with Wonwoo. But maybe we could hang out next time? Like a double date?”
Jihoon’s eyes grew wide. He’s already excited. “That sounds fun! What do you think, Soonyoung?”
“Yeah. Sounds great. See you again, Mingyu.”
But before Mingyu can leave, Jihoon took his camera and asked Mingyu to pose for him. “Smile!” He took a couple of shots before giving Mingyu a thumbs up. “Bye, Gyu! Have a blooming day.”
“Bye! See you again.” The tall guy waved at them before stepping out of the shop.
"Hon, wake up." Soonyoung tapped his husband's shoulder. The latter's hair already grew long that it's covering his eyes. Soonyoung brushed it away before letting his fingers trace Jihoon's face. "Jihoonie, hon. You have sched today right?”
Jihoon's lip curled up a bit. He's awake already but he didn't open his eyes. He knows that Soonyoung has this hobby of staring at his sleeping face, which he finds cute and really sweet.
“Jihoonie~ my sweet nectar. Wakey wakey.” Soonyoung whispered on the younger’s ears.
Jihoon grunted and held Soonyoung's wrist before pulling the older beside him. "Let's sleep a bit more." He said as he wrapped his arms around Soonyoung's waist, burying his face on the latter's chest. "You smell like Wisteria."
Soonyoung tucked himself under the blankets and slid his arm under Jihoon's head. "Where did you even learn what wisteria smells like?” Soonyoung chuckled.
"I learned it from you, silly." Jihoon whispered.
Soonyoung hummed. He looked at the younger's sleeping face and he can't help but to fall in love again and again and again. Everything's perfect. Though he still has that problem with his memory, Jihoon was there to help him. He never left his side.
"What did I even do in my past life to deserve someone like you?" Soonyoung asked, softly brushing Jihoon's hair. They spent a few minutes cuddling and sharing kisses with each other.
Soonyoung planted a soft kiss on Jihoon's forehead. "Seriously, hon. You'll be late for your schedule today. You have to get up now."
"But I don't have any scheduled appointments today, honey." Jihoon scratched his semi-swollen eyes and pouted. “What’s the date today?”
“It’s the 8th of April.” Soonyoung went out of bed to check his notebook. "Where is it?" He turned few more pages. "Ah! Here." Soonyoung sat beside Jihoon and pointed on what's written on his notebook. "See? You'll be meeting one of our clients. Remember? Mr. Choi?"
Jihoon sat up with his bed hair and took Soonyoung's notebook. "I can't really remember this one." He stared at what’s written on the paper.
"But we personally talked to them." The older replied.
Soonyoung looked at Jihoon worriedly. "Ah... I don't know. I'm doing a lot of work lately. I haven't slept much. Maybe it's because of that." Jihoon smiled at Soonyoung before placing a soft peck on his lips. "Thank you for taking notes."
Jihoon removed the blankets off his body and grabbed his towel "I'll just take a bath first."
"Sure." Soonyoung nodded and tidied their bed.
"Wanna join?" Soonyoung almost dropped the pillow he’s holding. Jihoon already took off his shirt, revealing his pale white skin and muscular body.
They’re married for years now but Soonyoung still gets nervous whenever Jihoon teased him.
Soonyoung can feel the rush of blood go to his cheeks. Even the room is getting hotter. "Stop it. I'm gonna cook breakfast." Jihoon chuckled as he watched Soonyoung walk towards the door.
But before Soonyoung can entirely leave. He looked at Jihoon once more. "Maybe later?"
Jihoon grunted while searching the whole house for something. “Ugh! Where did I put it?” He already looked everywhere but he couldn’t find what he was looking for, so Soonyoung decided to leave the dishes for a while to help him.
“What are you looking for?” Soonyoung asked, wiping his hand on his apron.
“My camera equipments.” Jihoon plopped himself on the couch and sighed. “I can’t find it.”
Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows. “Seriously hon?” then he went upstairs and after a few minutes, he’s already carrying a bag with him.
“It’s just inside your cabinet.” Soonyoung saw Jihoon staring blankly at a distance. “Hon? Are you okay?” he tapped the latter’s shoulder.
“Huh?” Jihoon looked at Soonyoung, confused. “You found it?”
The older handed him the equipments. “Yeah.”
“Where?”
“I told you a while ago, it’s just in your cabinet.”
“Oh? I didn’t check that.” Jihoon reached for his bag.
“But you are the one who’s always keeping it there. How come you don’t know?”
Yeah. How come he doesn’t know?
Jihoon didn’t answer and gave Soonyoung a shrug. The latter just helped him fix his things.
"Hon." Jihoon wore his camera around his neck. "What date it is today?"
Soonyoung stopped for a while and glued his eyes to Jihoon. He has a bad memory but he knew Jihoon already asked him that question this morning.
“Hon?”
"8th of April." Soonyoung replied and took his gaze off the other. "Why?"
Jihoon shook his head. "Nothing." He walked towards Soonyoung to give him a goodbye kiss. “I’ll come home early.”
“I’ll miss you.” Soonyoung embraced Jihoon before pecking his lips.
Jihoon tiptoed to whisper onto Soonyoung’s ears. “And we’ll do THAT later.”
“Jihoonie!”
Jihoon pulled away and ran towards the door laughing. “I love you!”
“I love you more. Be safe okay? Call me when you get there.”
“I will.” Jihoon waved. “Don’t worry.”
Soonyoung stayed at the flower shop as usual, but he's feeling a bit uneasy and he doesn't know why. But still, tried to shake those negative thoughts and feelings off of his head.
‘He’ll be fine… Jihoon will be fine.’ He repeated these thoughts inside his head.
Soonyoung decided to distract himself by cleaning the shop.
But during the process, he found a small scrapbook hiding under the drawer. “Oh? What’s this?” he told himself.
Curious, he took a look at it. It's full of pictures. Pictures of places. Pictures of people. Everything. It’s similar to the notebook he’s owning, with pictures and stuff, but the captions written in this one is very much detailed.
Every page followed a specific format.
The date. The picture. And the detailed caption, like almost telling everything happened during that particular day.
"What will he do with this?" Soonyoung asked himself, closing the scrapbook. "Is he planning to give this to me on our anniversary? Did I spoil his surprise?" Soonyoung chuckled. He put the scrapbook back to its place and proceeded with his work.
Was it really Jihoon’s surprise for Soonyoung? Or did he make it for someone else?
It was already late in the afternoon and Soonyoung thought that Jihoon might be home any minute so he quickly checked the shop one last time before closing it.
"Jihoonie might be hungry, I better prepare foods." Soonyoung told himself.
And so, he did.
Soonyoung patiently waited for Jihoon to come home but hours have already passed, there’s still no single text from Jihoon. He didn’t even call him.
Soonyoung hurriedly checked the number of their client to give them a call.
"Where was it?" Soonyoung flipped the pages of his notebook. "Ahh! Here. Choi Seungcheol."
Soonyoung quickly dialed the phone number written on the paper. Luckily, Mr. Choi immediately picked up the call.
"Hello? Is this Mr. Choi Seungcheol?" Soonyoung asked. His voice was a bit shaky.
[Yes, Soonyoung. I'm glad you called. Today was our appointment with Jihoon right? But I wonder why he didn't come. Is there any problem?]
Soonyoung was surprised. "But Mr. Choi, I'm sure Jihoon went there."
[I'm sorry but we didn't meet today. I was actually about to call you already. I have his number but he's not answering his phone.]
"What?" Soonyoung's heart is already thumping so fast. "He didn’t respond to my messages as well. I'm sorry Mr. Choi, but can we just reschedule the appointment? Probably next week?"
[Sure. No problem with that.]
"I'm really sorry for this inconvenience. I'll contact you again. Thank you, Mr. Choi."
Soonyoung hung up.
“Fuck.” Soonyoung ran his fingers on his hair, frustrated and worried at the same time. This is totally insane. Jihoon is lost and he doesn't even know where to start looking for him.
Soonyoung tred to keep his focus. He needs to think properly and he has to find him fast.
He quickly changed his clothes, grabbed his car key and started dialling Jihoon's number hoping that the other would pick up.
"Jihoon-ah. Please pick up the phone." Soonyoung bit his lip, trying not to breakdown. He needs to focus right now.
He sat on the driver's seat and started searching for Jihoon. Along the way, he still kept on calling Jihoon.
Soonyoung went to every place familiar to him and Jihoon. But Jihoon was not there. He’s already starting to lose hope. It’s already getting late and his mind is getting messed up.
For once last time, he dialed Jihoon’s number. And luckily after a few rings, someone picked up the call.
"H-hello?" Jihoon. It's definitely Jihoon. Soonyoung can't even imagine the relief he felt upon hearing Jihoon's voice.
"Jihoon! Hon, where are you?!"
There was a long paused in between the call.
"Hello? Jihoon?"
"S-soonyoung." He seemed nervous. "I don't know." Soonyoung heard him sniff. "I think I'm lost. I don't know how to get home."
"Lost?" Soonyoung asked. He’s so confused right now. How could that even happen? "Okay, hon. Turn your phone's GPS. Go somewhere safe. I'll fetch you there. Okay?"
Jihoon hummed.
"Don't go anywhere, huh?"
"O-okay."
Soonyoung felt so relieved after knowing that Jihoon is safe. But he still needs to get there fast. After the call, Soonyoung drove to where the GPS pointed him.
“Myeongdong?!" Soonyoung exclaimed as he stepped on the gas pedal. "He's supposed to be in Yongsan. How did he even get there?"
By that time, Soonyoung knew something is not right. And he needs to ask Jihoon what's happening as soon as possible.
He parked his car in front of a convenience store. He saw Jihoon silently sitting outside, hugging himself. Soonyoung quickly took his jacket and ran towards Jihoon. Jihoon just looked at him while he draped the jacket on the younger's shoulder. “Why are you out here in the cold? You should’ve stayed inside.”
Jihoon stared at Soonyoung for a while, tears already forming in his eyes. "S-soonyoung..." He clenched the jacket wrapped around him. "I'm s-sorry."
Soonyoung cupped his husband's cheeks. “Oh God, you’re freezing.” He warmed his hands with his breath before placing it on Jihoon’s cheeks.
"Tell me what happened later, okay? We have to get home first." Soonyoung kneeled in front of Jihoon. The latter just kept quiet.
"Let's go home." Soonyoung tugged Jihoon's hand. "I bet you're already hungry."
Jihoon gave a small nod. Soonyoung smiled but deep inside he's slowly breaking. But he needs to stay tough. He needs to stay strong for Jihoon.
The drive towards their home was quiet. Jihoon fell asleep sitting beside the driver’s seat. Soonyoung just let him rest. Jihoon traveled really far from home. He must be so tired.
Soonyoung took a quick glance at Jihoon and he saw something peeking from Jihoon’s pocket.
Without taking his eyes off the road, he tried to reach his husband’s pocket.
It’s a flower bud. Soonyoung was familiar with it. It used to grow in their backyard when he was still a child. He even used the flowers to make bubbles. He smiled while looking at it. It's a flower that holds a lot of beautiful meanings.
‘Hibiscus.’
They're both lying on the bed. Jihoon resting his head on Soonyoung's chest.
“How are you feeling now, hon?” Soonyoung asked.
It took Jihoon few seconds to answer. “Fine.”
But Soonyoung already knew there’s something wrong. He lifted Jihoon’s chin to face him. "Tell me." Soonyoung spoke. "Tell me what happened."
Jihoon buried his face on Soonyoung's chest. "I don't know." The younger whispered. "I-it's... I mean, I got confused where to go. I am suddenly unfamiliar with places. Like, everything seemed very new to me. I just followed where my feet took me."
"But why didn't you call me?" Soonyoung looked at him, worried.
Jihoon bit his lips. "I-I..."
Soonyoung brushed Jihoon’s cheeks and placed a soft kiss on it. "Jihoon it's okay, I'm not gonna be mad."
"I was preoccupied with being lost.” His breath hitched. “I was scared that I cannot go back home anymore. And when I took my phone, all of the names seem to be unfamiliar to me." Jihoon took a deep breath before continuing. "Even…even your name.”
Soonyoung felt his heart dropped.
Jihoon forgot him. Well, almost.
“I just remembered it when I heard your voice.” He continued “My mind went 'Soonyoung. Right. That's my husband's name. He's Kwon Soonyoung.'"
"When did it start?" The older's voice is full of worry. His mind can't even fully process what was happening to Jihoon. He just knew that it's not something good.
"F-few months ago." Jihoon played with the hems of the other's shirt.
“Few months ago?” Soonyoung sat up and pulled Jihoon to face him. "Hon, why didn't you tell me?"
The younger kept his head bowed down. He knew that Soonyoung is upset because of him. "I t-thought it's not something serious. I mean, we all forget certain things, right?"
“You—” Soonyoung tried not to raise his voice. “Jihoonie. You almost forgot me. And you’re gonna tell me it’s not something serious?”
"Sorry." The younger said, almost inaudible.
"That’s it.” Soonyoung sighed. “We have to go to the hospital. We need to know what exactly is happening to you."
Jihoon bit his lips. He held Soonyoung’s hands. "Soonyoung..."
"Why? What is it?"
Jihoon gripped the hand of the older tighter.
"Don't tell me you already have your check-up done?"
Jihoon did not say anything. But Soonyoung knew his husband so well. "For God's sake Jihoon!"
"I j-just don't want you to worry, Soonyoung." Jihoon’s eyes started watering again.
"For how long have you been planning to keep it? Huh? Until it gets worse? Then I’ll be here, clueless of what is happening to you? You really want that?"
“I just don’t want to be a burden.”
Soonyoung’s heart dropped when he heard his husband’s reply. Jihoon was having a hard time yet he still thought of him. He pulled Jihoon towards him and gave him the warmest, tightest hug possible.
“You are never a burden to me.” Soonyoung kissed the top of Jihoon’s head. “If I would be asked of what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, do you know what I’ll answer?” He lifted JIhoon’s face, only an inch keeping them apart.
Soonyoung fixed his eyes on Jihoon. “I want to take care of you for the rest of my life and give you all the love you deserve.” He said. “I will be your morning…your everyday. I’ll make sure that every moment of ours is always in full bloom. Just like our pretty flowers.” Soonyoung smiled before placing a soft kiss on Jihoon’s lips. “And you will be my night…my peace.”
Jihoon can’t even think of anything to say. He was too overwhelmed by Soonyoung’s love for him. Soonyoung really has this talent of choosing the right words to say and Jihoon was always amazed by that.
Jihoon placed his hands around Soonyoung’s neck and pulled the older towards him. But before their lips could touch, he whispered a soft “I love you.”
After running some tests at the hospital, Soonyoung and Jihoon proceeded to talk to the doctor-in-charge, which happens to be Mingyu’s boyfriend. Jeon Wonwoo.
The doctor took a couple of minutes reviewing the results and taking down notes in his pad. The couple, on the other hand, just patiently sat across the doctor’s table and waited. Jihoon saw that Soonyoung was obviously nervous. His hands were shaking and sweating ever since and entered the room. Jihoon held onto it and mouthed “Everything will be fine.” to his husband.
“Jihoon’s probably at the early stage of dementia." Dr. Jeon started. “There’s decreased memory of recent events and difficulties traveling alone to new locations…” he paused and took a quick glance at Soonyoung. “It would be difficult for him as time goes by.”
They both kept silent.
Soonyoung took a deep breath. “H-how could that be possible?”
The doctor flipped a few more pages of Jihoon’s records. "You’ve been in an accident before, Jihoon. Is that right?"
Jihoon nodded "Uhm, yes."
Dr. Jeon nodded while looking at the test results. He scribbled something on his notepad. “Well, that could’ve increased the chance of him getting dementia.”
"What can we do, doc?"
“Honestly, the best thing you can do for Jihoon is to be patient.” Dr. Jeon glance at Jihoon, who’s keeping his head bowed down while listening. He knew that it would hurt them both but he needs to tell them all the possibilities that could happen. “Soonyoung, Jihoon’s memory will slowly deteriorate. He’ll soon forget how to take care of himself. And that won’t be an easy work for especially when you also have anterograde amnesia.”
Soonyoung bit his lips.
Right. It would really take too much strength from him. He needs to be more focused especially when keeping notes. Because he won’t just be doing those notes for himself, but also for Jihoon.
“I can give you meds to delay the worsening of his condition but it cannot be guaranteed that he’ll be cured hundred percent.”
“How long—” Soonyoung gulped. “How long would it take before he would totally lose his memory?”
“It depends. Some would take ten year. Some would take twenty. But yeah, it still depends on how the person would take care of himself.” Dr. Jeon continued. “Jihoon needs you more than anything, Soonyoung.”
“I know that doctor.” Soonyoung gave him a smile. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem.” Dr. Jeon smiled at the couple. “I’ll inform you for your follow-up check-ups.”
Soonyoung replied with a nod and tugged Jihoon’s hand. “Jihoonie. Let’s go.”
“Oh! And by the way…” Dr. Jeon said before the couple could leave the place. “The flowers were really pretty.” He smiled. “Thank you.”
“I’ll manage the shop, Ji.” Soonyoung coldly said. A bit of tension is building up inside the household the past few days. Jihoon kept on messing up with his work and they are having frequent arguments because of that. “You don’t have to help me every now and then.”
“But I can still do it!” Jihoon insisted.
Soonyoung ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. “Jihoon!” he rasied his voice. The younger got startled which made him step back a little. “Listen to me this time, okay?”
This was the first time Soonyoung raised his voice at him. He knew Soonyoung had been tired because of everything that's happening. But still, he wanted to do something for Soonyoung.
“But how about Mr. Choi?” Jihoon asked worriedly. “We’re the ones who will organize the event right?”
Soonyoung avoided Jihoon’s gaze. “I already talked to Mingyu. He said he’s willing to help us with doing events.”
“Without even telling me?!” Jihoon suddenly felt betrayed with what Soonyoung did. He can’t help but to feel upset.
Soonyoung kept quiet. For him, it’s the best thing to do. He wanted Jihoon to rest and take care of himself. He just doesn't want the other to be too stressed.
“I thought we’re in this together, Soonyoung.” Jihoon bitterly uttered.
“Ji—"
“Soonyoung, look. What I’m trying to say is that I can still do this. We can still do this together. I know you’re worried about me but you have to trust me.”
“Ji, I just don’t want you to be stressed. It won’t do any good.” Soonyoung firmly said.
“Fine." The younger's eyes started to well with tears. "I’ll do what you say. But let me just finish Mr. Choi’s event. Then after that—”
Soonyoung got taken aback with what he heard next.
“I won’t touch my camera ever again.”
The event was held few months later and it went absolutely well. Mr. Choi commended them for doing a great job with the arrangements and everything. Though they still asked some help from Mingyu, Jihoon definitely did his best knowing that this would probably be the last event he’s gonna work on.
After the event, Jihoon silently waited for Soonyoung outside the venue. He spent his time scanning the old photos in his camera. Most of it were Soonyoung’s pictures and he can’t help but smile with pure adoration while looking at it.
But his memories are slowly fading each and every day. And as he looked at Soonyoung, he remembered what the latter used to asked him a long time ago.
‘Which is more painful? To forget… or to be forgotten?’
‘Both.’
It was his reply before.
But this time, it’s different.
‘To forget.’
To forget is more painful. Especially when you have no control over it. Especially when your own mind betrays you and erases every memory you have gathered your entire life and you’ll be left with nothing.
Especially when you are about to forget the face… the name… of the person you love the most.
Jihoon can just laugh bitterly at his situation. No matter how Soonyoung tells him that everything would be fine, he still thinks that Soonyoung doesn’t deserve this kind of life. He thought that maybe if he hadn’t visited Soonyoung after his accident, then everything would be better. At least, Soonyoung won’t be stuck with their ill-destined love story.
Jihoon saw Soonyoung, holding a huge bouquet of flowers while walking towards him. Broad petals are tinted with pink hue, with the flower’s pistil carrying tiny yellow pollens. A big smile is painted on the older’s face.
But with every step Soonyoung makes, Jihoon’s vision gets blurry with tears.
“Hon?” Soonyoung immediately saw Jihoon’s gloomy expression. He quickly ran towards his husband. “What happened? Why are you crying?”
Jihoon wiped his tears and gave the latter a smile. “Nothing. I’m just happy that I didn’t messed up this event.”
These words pierced through Soonyoung’s heart. He had seen how Jihoon worked hard for this. “You did a really great job. I’m proud of you.” Soonyoung patted Jihoon’s head.
“Thanks.” Jihoon curled his lips up. But his eyes were still filled with gloominess and Soonyoung cannot just ignore it. There’s something Jihoon might want to say.
“Hon, there’s something wrong, isn’t it?”
“Nope.” Jihoon shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong. Let’s go home.”
Soonyoung held Jihoon’s shoulders. “No. We won’t go anywhere unless you tell me.”
The younger’s lips quivered. His whole body shaked. “I—” Jihoon choked on his own tears. He didn’t even manage to let out any word. All he can do is to hug Soonyoung as he finally let his tears stream down his face.
Soonyoung also started to tear up.
“I-I don’t want to forget you!” Jihoon said, almost shouting. “How can I make it stop? Hon, help me.” He said it as if he’s begging for his life to be spare. Well, Soonyoung is his life and losing his memories with Soonoyung on it equates to dying.
But Soonyoung knew that they cannot do anything about it anymore. And both of them had to accept it.
Jihoon continued to cry his heart out while Soonyoung is tightly holding onto him.
Soonyoung looked at the flowers he’s holding. He suddenly remembered the seven flowers that kept their story.
Gloxinia. Yellow daffodil. Gardenia. Mistletoe. Blue violet. Purple hyacinth…
Forget-me-not.
Beautiful flowers with even more beautiful meanings.
But this time, he thought that the flower he’s currently holding represents their love the most.
“I brought you flowers.” Soonyoung chuckled, trying to cheer Jihoon up. Jihoon peeked at the flowers Soonyoung was holding, his head still resting on the older’s chest.
“Do you know what these flowers are?”
Jihoon slightly shook his head. “No.”
“Hibiscus. That’s their name.” Soonyoung smiled, brushing the younger’s hair away from his eyes.
True love. Sincerity. Remembering someone.
These are the meanings the hibiscus flower holds.
“Happy anniversary, my love.” Soonyoung planted a sincere kiss on Jihoon’s lips.
Jihoon slightly pulled away. “A-anniversary?” his cheeks still stained with tears.
Soonyoung hummed. “Can you believe we’re already together for five years?” he chuckled. “And we’re gonna be together for another five…ten…twenty… or even fifty years more.”
Jihoon suddenly cupped Soonyoung’s face, which made the latter surprised, and started tracing his fingers on it. “Jihoon-ah, this is Soonyoung’s eyes.” his fingers traced the older’s eyes. “These eyes hold the brightest star in the universe. The eyes that disappears whenever he’s laughing or smiling. The eyes that were even stronger than gravity pull.”
Soonyoung just kept silent and watched Jihoon.
Jihoon proceeded to trace the other’s nose “This is his boopable nose. You love it when he occasionally gives you eskimo kisses as a wake-up call.”
Soonyoung figured out what Jihoon is trying to do and tried to swallow the lump that is forming inside his throat.
“These cheeks…” Jihoon squished his cheeks. “The fluffiest cheeks in the world. Even softer than marshmallows. These cheeks can even go redder than a tomato is he’s getting shy.”
The older smiled. Jihoon is doing it as if he’s gonna memorized ever single bit of him.
“And these lips…” Jihoon’s fingers finally landed on Soonyoung’s pink and plump lips. “These are the lips that I love to kiss every morning, every afternoon, every night, and every day of my life.”
“Don’t forget these, Jihoon-ah.” Jihoon told himself. “Please.”
Soonyoung reached for Jihoon’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I think someone had told me before that the human heart can store better memories that the human brain.” Soonyoung said. “The mind can forget but the heart can’t.”
The couple held onto the bouquet of flowers.
“It’s our anniversary. We have to make a wish.” Soonyoung whispered.
Jihoon replied with a nod.
They closed their eyes and silently made a wish.
Soonyoung stood in front of the mirror as he fixed his hair and suit. The wrinkles on his face was already getting quite visible and he can also see white strands of hair. But nevertheless, he smiled at his reflection.
He’s going to fetch Jihoon at the nursing home.
Jihoon was staying there everytime Soonyoung has to take care of their business but Soonyoung was always making sure that he would visit Jihoon often.
And today, they’re going to have a special bonding.
Soonyoung grabbed the specially made bouquet of flowers and drove to the nursing home.
When he arrived, Jihoon was already waiting outside. wearing his suit. He’s busy eating chocolates and it seems like he’s really enjoying it. He would even happily greet every nurse that will walk by him.
Soonyoung spent a few minutes watching Jihoon from afar. Jihoon didn’t change. He might have forgotten most of his memories but he’s still the bright and cheerful Jihoon which Soonyoung loves.
He slowly walked towards the shelter and by the time he reached the gates, he heard Jihoon ask something to the nurse.
“Why am I dressed like this?” Jihoon pouted like a child. “It’s getting a bit hot.”
The nurse laughed. “Someone would fetch you.”
Jihoon put out a thinking face. “Who?” he tapped his chin. “Mr. Handsome? or Mr. Squishy.”
Soonyoung laughed at what Jihoon said. Everytime he visits the nursing home, Jihoon would address him as Mr. Handsome or Mr. Squishy. There’s no in between.
“Jihoonie~” Soonyoung waved outside the gates. The nurse immediately opened it so that Soonyoung could enter.
Jihoon’s face suddenly lighted up. He’s smiling from ear to ear. “Mr. Handsome!” he excitedly waved his hands. His fingers are still covered with some chocolate.
Soonyoung smiled and gave Jihoon the flowers. “How are you? Have you been eating well?” he sat beside him.
“Yes.” Jihoon proudly said. “I ate chocolates.”
Soonyoung laughed.
“You should also eat some.” Jihoon offered the slightly melted chocolates he’s holding to Soonyoung. The older opened his mouth so that Jihoon could feed him.
“Delicious right?” Jihoon licked his fingers.
Soonyoung pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the remaining chocolate on JIhoon’s lips and fingers. “Do you like to go with me?”
“Ey.” Jihoon clicked his tongue. “Mr. Handsome is handsome but Jihoonie won’t fall for him.”
“What?” Soonyoung was confused.
“You are asking me on a date, right?” Jihoon said. “But I bet you already have a girlfriend. So, I would say no.”
“I already have a husband.”
“See—”
“You’re my husband, Jihoonie.” Soonyoung kissed Jihoon’s forehead.
Jihoon stared at him with wide eyes. “Wow. That is a fast proposal, Mr. Handsome. But okay, I’ll accept it. When are we gonna get married?”
“Today.” Soonyoung smiled. “That’s why you’re wearing your suit. Because we’re gonna get married today.”
“Oh!” Jihoon clapped his hands. “Okay, then. Take me to our wedding.”
Soonyoung took Jihoon at their garden. He did arrange it as if someone would have a garden wedding. This is what Soonyoung had prepared for their 25th anniversary. He thought it would be great for them to renew their wedding vows.
Soonyoung stood in front of the altar, while Jihoon was getting ready to take his walk.
“Are you ready?” Soonyoung asked.
Jihoon smiled excitedly and gave Soonyoung a thumbs up. Soonyoung played a song while Jihoon was slowly walking towards him.
The younger firmly held the bouquet of white and pink hibiscus while walking at the pathwalk covered with flower petals.
And when he reached Soonyoung, the older offered his arm in which the younger gladly took.
“Jihoonie, my love.” Soonyoung spoke. “It has been twenty-five years already since we’ve been married. I know that was already a long time. But I will still promise to love you until I ran out of breath.” Soonyoung held Jihoon’s face. “I love you so much, Jihoonie.”
Jihoon smiled. “I, Jihoonie, promise to also love Mr. Handsome with all my heart. I promise to eat healthy so that I could take care of Mr. Handsome. But maybe I could still eat chocolates sometimes.” Jihoon whispered. “Can I?”
“Of course.” Soonyoung chuckled.
“I love you, Mr. Handsome.” Jihoon grinned from ear to ear.
Then Soonyoung leaned towards Jihoon to seal their renewed promises with a kiss. It doesn’t matter whether their old memories are already forgotten. They can still make new ones every day.
It was a blooming day indeed for the both of them. Although Jihoon cannot recall Soonyoung’s face or name. Soonyoung can feel that Jihoon still remembers him just by looking at his eyes.
‘The mind can forget, but the heart can’t.’
Soonyoung smiled as they both lied down on their old bed. He carefully placed a blanket on Jihoon’s body and watched his husband slowly fall asleep.
“I love you, Jihoon.” Soonyoung whispered, caressing the younger’s hair. He doesn’t know how many more years they’re gonna spend, but what’s important to him is making each and every day of Jihoon’s life extra special,
Soonyoung wrapped his arms around his husband, but before Soonyoung can fall sleep he heard Jihoon softly spoke.
“I love you too…
…Soonyoung.”
[ E N D ]