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Jyn has been perusing her menu in almost complete silence—with the exception of the sound her butter knife is making as she taps it against an empty plate—for going on five minutes when Cassian finally snaps.
“Jyn,” he says, suddenly enough that she actually startles, “what is the matter?”
“Nothing,” she replies, too casually. “Have you decided what you want yet?”
“I’m still thinking it over. Am I holding you up?”
“Take your time,” she says, waving a hand at him but not quite making eye contact.
Cassian sighs and reaches across the table for her hand, which just makes her look at him in alarm, but at least she’s looking at him. “I thought we agreed not to let this ruin our entire day,” he says, quietly.
“It’s just—” Jyn starts to say, before cutting herself off with a frustrated noise. “The last time we had an emergency staff meeting was when we had to retract Scarif.”
“I know. But the bright side is, there’s no way this meeting can be worse than that one.”
“Are you sure about that?” She asks, seriously, and the truth is, he isn’t.
They’d both gotten an email from Mon this morning, addressed to the entire news division, asking them all to attend an emergency staff meeting at 1:30. This would have been concerning enough even if it hadn’t been followed by an immediate group text message from Leia to most of the senior staff, asking them to check their emails, but the text really pushed the situation into a new level of stress. Clearly, everything was not alright.
It didn’t make for an auspicious start to their Saturday, especially when he and Jyn had barely seen each other all week and were supposed to be making up for that lost time. He’d spent more time at his own apartment in Queens this week than he had in months, because they had each been working crazy hours chasing down sources for rapidly developing stories and, even though it would have been easier to crash at Jyn’s place, he didn’t want her to feel like he was just using her for her conveniently-located Midtown apartment. Barely a year ago, he would have said he couldn’t imagine living in Manhattan; he likes to think the physical distance between him and the office helps create some semblance of work-life balance. But this week—and much longer than that, if he’s being completely honest—he’s been trying to figure out how to broach the subject of their living situation with Jyn. Because he’s, quite frankly, tired of living without her.
Today was supposed to be their chance to finally spend time together, leave the insanity of the office behind, and maybe actually have that discussion, but Mon’s email had successfully ruined any chance of that happening. It would be a bad time to bring up a subject that might stress Jyn out even more, so Cassian is just trying to salvage any of the relaxation they had planned. They still have a few hours before the meeting, after all, but putting it out of their minds is proving more difficult than they’d hoped.
“I don’t know,” he says, once he’s thought about it. “But I know that if Mon were at liberty to tell us what’s going on, she would have done it already.”
“And that doesn’t worry you at all? That she hasn’t told us anything?”
“Of course it worries me. But I can worry and have a meal with my beautiful girlfriend who I’ve hardly seen at all this week at the same time,” he says. “I’m capable of multitasking.”
Jyn smiles at that, somewhat reluctantly. “I know you are,” she says, looking down at her menu again. “I’ve had sex with you, remember? It was, like, an hour ago?”
Cassian squeezes her hand that he’s still holding once before letting go. “Keep it PG,” he says, under his breath. “We’re in public.”
“Sorry, honey,” Jyn replies, but she laughs when she says it, so she’s clearly not that sorry.
He takes the opportunity, while she’s distracted reading her menu again, to really look at her, in the way she never allows him to when she’s paying attention. Her hair is still damp from the shower they’d taken that morning—Mon’s email had forced them to speed up their morning plans and Jyn had insisted that showering together would make things go faster, which Cassian didn’t think was true but he also wasn’t going to argue about it—and curling a little at the ends, which reach about to her chin. It’s so rare for her to wear her hair down instead of pulling it back and it’s taking a lot of self-control on Cassian’s part not to reach across and run his fingers through it, for all it would be a crazy thing to do when they’re at a restaurant. He catches himself wishing they were seated at a booth, so he could do it inconspicuously, and then realizes, with considerable horror, that he’s becoming one of those people who wants to sit on the same side of the booth as his date and when exactly did that transformation happen?
Jyn tilts her head as she’s reading and brushes a lock of hair out of her face, giving him a better look at the freckles that have appeared on the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks and forehead since she went to Leia’s bachelorette weekend in the Hamptons and got too much sun. She’d shown up at his apartment the Sunday night she got back, not even stopping at her place first in her hurry to see him, and tried to smack his hand away when, later in his bed, he’d attempted to count all the freckles she’d gotten that weekend. She didn’t stop him, though, when he kissed all the ones on her shoulders and he told her she could still taste the sun on her skin. He can see them now, too, thanks to the cut of her dress and he wants to do the same thing, but again, they’re in a restaurant.
“I can feel you staring at me,” Jyn says, without looking away from her menu.
“I’m not staring at you. I’m gazing at you. Lovingly. It’s different.”
“Idiot,” she says, shaking her head and finally looking up. There’s a faint blush on her cheeks now too, which Cassian takes as a sign of victory. “You’re supposed to be deciding what you want.”
“I know what I want.”
“I meant, to eat,” Jyn says, and then cringes. “For breakfast. I mean—you said—what happened to keeping things PG?”
“Sorry,” he says, laughing as he takes her hand again and kisses her knuckles. “You know how I get when you blush.”
“I’m not blushing!”
“My mistake. Must be the lighting in here.”
“You know, the waitress is going to come back any minute now and you’re going to have to be that jerk who asks for another few minutes to look over the menu and then she won’t come back for another twenty minutes and we will starve to death,” Jyn says, petulantly.
“Okay, okay,” Cassian responds, consolingly. “I’m deciding, I promise.”
“Good.”
“What are you getting?”
“Oh, um,” Jyn says, sounding odd. “Uh, I was just thinking I would maybe get their fruit salad.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, just something light, you know?”
Cassian watches her suspiciously. “You’ve been wanting to try this place all week...for their fruit salad?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it’s, uh, really good,” Jyn says, looking anywhere but at him.
“Really? People everywhere are raving about this place’s fruit salad? Like it’s their big recommendation for brunch here?”
“It comes with organic yogurt,” she says, reading from the menu. “Where else are you going to get that?”
“Anywhere else,” Cassian replies, unimpressed. “We could have gotten breakfast at a bodega if that’s all you wanted. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m just not that hungry,” Jyn says, shrugging in a way that tells him immediately that she’s lying.
“You went for a six-mile run this morning, Jyn. Please eat something with actual protein in it.”
“Yogurt has protein!”
“Jyn, come on,” he says, seriously. “What’s wrong?”
She sighs dramatically and then reaches for her phone. After a few seconds of searching, she hands it over to him to read what’s on the screen. It’s an article from some trashy gossip site Cassian’s never even heard of that’s just a collection of celebrity baby bump sightings and, after he’s scrolled through a few of them in confusion, suddenly he sees what Jyn is upset about.
“This better not be your way of telling me you’re pregnant,” he says, gesturing at her with the phone.
Jyn reaches out and snatches it back. “Of course not!”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is I apparently look pregnant enough that this site published that article with pictures of me in it!”
“In their defense, they did say that there had been no confirmation from your people about the matter,” Cassian says, and gets a scowl for his trouble.
“I don’t have ‘people’! It’s just me, and I’m not pregnant!”
“So what? You’re not going to eat now?”
Jyn shrugs. “I’m just trying to lose a few pounds.”
“From where?” He asks, more indignant about this than he realized. “Jyn, it’s a grainy photograph taken from a distance and at a very weird angle. You do not look pregnant and, even if you did, you don’t need to lose weight. And I’m not just saying that to placate you, as the theoretical father of your non-existent baby. Unless there’s someone else.”
Jyn laughs and rolls her eyes simultaneously, which is her trademark move when he’s successfully made her feel better about something but she’s not ready to admit it yet. “Of course not,” she says. “You’re the only person who could hypothetically impregnate me.”
“Thank God.”
“It’s just—” Jyn starts to say, but hesitates and reconsiders. “I’ve been in the gossip pages a lot lately, and it’s stressing me out.”
“That’s understandable,” Cassian says, nodding. “But maybe, in the future, just complain to me about it, and I’ll let you know that it’s all bullshit?”
“What if it isn’t bullshit?” She asks, as she puts her phone away. “What if I show you an article from one of these sites and it’s true?”
“Then I assume that there will also be pigs flying through the skies and the apocalypse will be near, so I think we’ll have bigger issues to worry about than you wearing something unflattering in a gossip column.”
Jyn scrunches up her nose. “You thought the dress was unflattering?”
“Come on!”
“I bought it that morning because I forgot to bring a change of clothes to your place! My options were limited to what I could find at Nordstrom in a hurry before work!”
“I always think you look great,” Cassian says, taking her hand again briefly.
“And that’s why you can’t be trusted,” Jyn says, pointing at him emphatically. “You’re blinded by lust!”
He laughs at that, surprised. “Is that so?”
“Yes! I bet our waitress has seen the article, and when I order waffles with a side of bacon, she’ll think it’s a pregnancy craving!”
“Or she will think, ‘this woman is at a restaurant for brunch and her order seems totally normal, under those circumstances,’” Cassian says.
“It’s too risky. It’s much safer to just order the fruit salad and suffer,” Jyn says, closing her menu as if to close the discussion.
Cassian sighs, frustrated. “Do you want me to act like a douchebag boyfriend and order for you?” He asks. “That way she’ll judge me and not your order?”
“You’d do that for me?” Jyn asks, eyes bright.
“Anything for the mother of my fictitious child,” he says, closing his menu too.
“I love you a lot.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”
Their waitress appears a moment later, as if she’s been waiting for them to put aside their menus before she approached them again. Cassian didn’t get the vibe from her that she recognized Jyn when they first sat down but she seems a little more nervous now, so it’s possible one of her co-workers said something to her while they were figuring out their orders. If she finds it weird or patronizing that Cassian orders for himself and for Jyn, she hides it well, which either means it’s not that odd, or she’s a seasoned professional who is used to hiding her true feelings about her customer’s choices. Whichever it is, she takes their order and departs without any apparent judgement of Jyn’s eating habits, for which Cassian is eternally grateful.
While they wait for their food, they talk about their week at work, catching each other up on everything that happened behind the scenes of their respective shows. Cassian would have thought one of the advantages of dating someone he works with would be seeing them as much as he wanted, but he and Jyn have whole days at ACN where they don’t actually see each other at all, not even in passing. He doesn’t really worry that they’d get sick of each other if they spent all their time at ACN together—at least, he doesn’t worry that he would get sick of Jyn—but it is nice to still be able to talk about their work when it’s just the two of them, away from everyone else. He wouldn’t know what to do if Jyn insisted on leaving their work at the office each night and he’s relieved he doesn’t have to find out. They’re both intense and passionate about their jobs in a way that not everyone would find charming or easy to deal with, and it’s nice to be with someone who gets it, who gets him.
When their food arrives, Jyn is in the middle of a story about fighting with Kay over a story from the Wednesday edition of Market Wrap-Up and Cassian is reminded of something.
“Before I forget,” he says, as their waitress departs, “I wanted to tell you I took your advice.”
“About what?”
“The Sprint stock. You were talking about it being a good buy earlier this week, and I bought a few shares.”
“You did?” Jyn asks, looking stunned.
“Yeah. You made me like two hundred dollars.”
“I wasn’t giving you advice,” Jyn says, leaning across the table and speaking to him urgently under her breath.
Cassian looks around in bewilderment, wondering what’s gotten into her. “What do you mean? You went on Market Wrap-Up that same afternoon and told your viewers it was a good stock to buy!”
“Mmm-hmm,” Jyn says, leaning back. “And when did you buy the stocks? Before my show or after?”
“Uh, before.”
“Great! So you bought the stocks with information from the early forecast that I gave you before it was public knowledge?”
“I guess so…?”
“Excellent!” Jyn picks up her glass, as though to toast him. “Congratulations, that’s called insider trading! We’re white collar criminals now!”
Cassian just blinks at her in response. “That’s not what insider trading is,” he says, without any conviction. “Is it?”
Jyn just looks at him like he’s a moron, which he might very well be. “If for some reason the SEC started looking into your trading history, they could pick up a clear pattern, tie it back to the fact that you’re in a relationship with me, a person who gets information about publicly-traded companies before the general public does, and yes, that would be considered insider trading.”
“Well, I didn’t know I couldn’t use the information until after you told everyone else about it,” Cassian says, putting his head in his hands. “How was I supposed to know that?!”
“Because it’s fucking obvious!”
“Maybe to you,” he says, miserably. “I thought you were telling me for a reason.”
“Not so you could make extra money on the stock market,” Jyn shouts, and then makes a face when she realizes how loud it was. “I was just having a casual conversation with my boyfriend about work.”
“I’m sorry, okay? From now on, I won’t listen when you talk,” Cassian says, and Jyn glares at him. “That came out wrong. I just won’t buy any more stocks on your advice.”
“Are you sure this is the first time you’ve done this?” She asks. In thinking it over, he clearly takes too long to respond, because Jyn curses under her breath.
“It’s not like I’m making billions here, Jyn,” he finally says. “Why would the SEC investigate me?”
“I don’t know! Maybe because you’re dating one of the most prominent financial journalists in the country!”
“Okay, relax,” he says, holding out his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “We have to go to ACN this afternoon for this meeting anyway. While we’re there, we can just ask legal if we’re in violation of any laws. It’ll be no big deal.”
“We should get married,” Jyn says, suddenly, suggesting she hasn’t been listening to his speech at all.
Cassian is almost certain it takes him a full minute to respond, which he mostly blames on the rushing noise in his ears making it hard to think. “I’m sorry, what?” He asks, weakly.
“We should get married,” she repeats, as if he’s terribly slow. “So we can’t be forced to testify against each other in court.”
“I—that’s why you want to get married?”
“Well, if it’s a choice between that and going to prison, then yes.”
Cassian runs a hand over his face, as if that will magically clear his head of all of the thoughts warring for his attention at the moment. How did they even get here?
“I’m glad that on a list of things you might have to do someday,” he says, carefully, “marrying me outranks going to prison, if only just barely.”
Jyn blinks at him for a moment before realization dawns on her face. “That’s not what I meant,” she says. “Besides, you’re the one who hasn’t said anything.”
“What?!”
“I asked you to marry me and all you’ve done is ask me questions,” Jyn says, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. “So, if anyone here doesn’t want to get married, it’s you.”
“I never said that,” Cassian fires back, but Jyn remains unimpressed. “I just—are you actually proposing?”
“No! Not now that I know how you’ll react!”
Cassian can feel tension pooling in his forehead and he’s surely going to have a headache in a matter of moments. “I’m going to get the check,” he says, rising out of his seat, but Jyn catches him by the arm before he can get anywhere.
“No,” she says, pulling him back to the table. “I’m starving and I know this is meeting is going to suck, so I’m going to sit here and eat my feelings in preparation for it. And I’m not doing it alone.”
“Fine,” Cassian says, dropping back into his seat dramatically. “What do we—?”
Jyn holds up her knife to silence him. “We don’t have to talk,” she says, and proceeds to eat her waffles without so much as looking at him.
They finish the rest of their meal in silence, waiting until they’ve paid their tab and left the restaurant before they say anything more to each other. They’re standing on the sidewalk out front, and Cassian can tell Jyn feels just as unsure as he does in this moment.
“So, what are we doing?” He finally asks, when the awkwardness becomes unbearable. “Should we—?”
“Are you serious right now?!” Jyn shouts. “You want to have this out in public? Where anyone could hear us?”
Cassian turns, mid-way through Jyn’s tirade, and heads for the side of the road.
“You’re not seriously walking away from me while we’re having a fight, are you?” She asks, and she still sounds furious but her eyes betray the worry underneath it.
Cassian holds an arm out in the direction of the road. “I’m hailing a cab,” he says, calmly. “I was going to ask if you wanted to walk to ACN but you seem upset, so I thought we’d just take a cab there.”
“Oh,” Jyn says, softly. “Well, fine.”
A cab pulls up at that moment, and Cassian opens the door, gesturing for Jyn to get in and then following her inside. He gives the driver the address and settles in. It’s only a five minute ride at the most, but Jyn spends it squished into her corner of the backseat, resolutely ignoring him. Cassian would be more upset about it if the alternative didn’t involve them having a screaming fight in front of a cab driver, which he definitely doesn’t want, so he tolerates the silent treatment until they get to the ACN building.
He gets out first and goes to the front passenger door to pay the driver, while Jyn gets out too. Cassian turns around when he’s finished paying, only to find Jyn already several feet ahead of him, making a beeline for the front entrance of the building. He jogs to catch up with her—she can really move when she’s angry—but he resists the impulse to take her hand in his own. It’s a bad idea not only because they’re going into the office right now—and they do normally try to be discreet at work—but also because Jyn usually needs space when she’s upset. It’s almost like she can’t process her feelings if he’s trying to comfort her by touching her. He wants nothing more in the world than to pull her close and be reassured himself that this is just some silly argument, but it’s not just about him and what he needs right now. So he settles for walking into the lobby of the building by her side and sneaking glances at her, trying to ascertain her mood at the moment.
After a second, she turns to glare at him. “What did I say about staring at me?” she asks, sharply.
“I’m not. I’m just—”
“Gazing?” She suggests, and there's no missing the sarcasm in her tone. “Lovingly?”
“I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on, Jyn,” he says, ignoring the jab at him.
“Nothing is going on,” she says, as she swipes her card to let them past security. “We’re just two pals, having a casual, fun time together.”
“Oh, is that what we are?”
“Yep,” Jyn replies, stretching the word out to ridiculous proportions.
She then presses the button to call the elevator with more force than is probably necessary. The doors open immediately, and they both get on and stand in opposite corners, not looking at each other.
“Just two buddies, who have casual sex and share stock tips and who aren’t getting married,” she continues, almost to herself.
Cassian looks at the ceiling, trying to rein in his frustration. “I thought you said I couldn’t use the stock tips!”
“Well, how about the sex?!”
The elevator doors, which were in the process of closing, jerk to a stop as someone sticks an arm into the elevator. The doors part all the way to reveal Bodhi, waiting to board and looking extremely uncomfortable. He clears his throat awkwardly and steps onto the elevator, taking the only spot that is available to him, standing between Cassian and Jyn. He leans forward to press the button for the fifth floor.
“You know you’ve got to hit the button for it to go anywhere, right?” He asks, looking back and forth between the two of them. Jyn looks resolutely ahead of her, refusing to make eye contact and leaving Cassian to respond.
“I always forget to do that,” he says, trying to sound conversational and pleasant.
Bodhi nods in response but says nothing. The elevator starts to move, even as its occupants remain silent.
“I don’t know what you heard—” Cassian starts to say, but Bodhi cuts him off with a wave of his hand.
“Nothing,” he says, not looking at Cassian. “I heard absolutely nothing.”
“Okay,” Cassian agrees, nodding. They don’t have to talk about it. That’s fine. That’s perfect. “Because whatever you might have heard—”
“Cassian,” Jyn snaps, from Bodhi’s other side. “He said he didn’t hear anything .”
“I know,” he says. “I understand.”
“Good,” she says, going back to staring into the distance.
A moment passes in silence, but Cassian can’t stop himself from saying, “I’m just trying to say that, if he did hear anything just now, well, it would be great to keep it between us, you know?”
Both Bodhi and Jyn turn to look at him as if he’s lost his mind, but he can’t help it. He keeps talking, leaning over to get closer to Bodhi.
“We try to keep this—our personal lives—out of the office. You understand that, right?”
Bodhi nods patronizingly at him. “Sure,” he says. “I mean, literally everyone knows, but—”
“Sorry, what?” Jyn asks.
“Everyone knows,” Bodhi says, calmly. “About you two. It’s not a secret.”
“There’s no way that everyone knows,” Cassian says, feeling somewhat horrified.
“I mean, I guess there’s maybe, theoretically speaking, somebody who doesn’t. One of the janitors, maybe,” Bodhi says, with a shrug. “But pretty much everyone knows, yeah.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I mean...you two are not subtle,” Bodhi replies, easily. “Kay texts me to complain about it all the time.”
“He does?” Jyn asks, annoyed.
“Uh, yeah.”
“And what do you say?”
“Nothing,” Bodhi says, too quickly, holding up his hands defensively in a way that makes it obvious he’s lying. “I think you two are great together. I just don’t want to get involved.”
Luckily for Bodhi, the elevator reaches their floor at that moment and he ducks out as soon as the doors open. Jyn goes to follow him but Cassian stops her with a hand on her elbow before she can leave the elevator bay. She turns around to look at him, but her expression is still closed off, as if she doesn’t really want to have this conversation.
“Just listen to me for one minute,” he says, when he’s sure Bodhi is gone. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted at the restaurant, okay? I understand why you’re upset.” He takes a deep breath, to keep his voice steady. “But I just couldn’t imagine us getting engaged without you meeting my mother first.”
Jyn’s eyes widen in alarm, but she doesn’t say anything in response, so Cassian continues. “It’s just that she’d be so upset if she didn’t meet the woman I was going to marry with enough time before the wedding to really get to know you, and I just didn’t know how to say that, in the moment.”
He watches her carefully, trying to keep a straight face while Jyn visibly starts to panic. He manages well enough for about twenty seconds, but he can feel the corners of his mouth turning up even as he tries not to smile, and then Jyn’s face clears as she realizes what’s happening.
“You asshole!” She shouts, looking away from him.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Jyn,” he says, feigning sincerity. “Did I just throw something extremely intimidating at you without warning? Are you maybe not ready to meet my mother right now, at this stage of our relationship?”
“That sucked,” Jyn says, pointing a finger at him. “I can’t believe you just did that to me.”
“How was that any different than that little test you gave me at the restaurant?” Cassian asks.
“Because mine wasn’t supposed to be a test! I was just—”
“Genuinely asking me to marry you?”
“No! Of course not! I was just—“
Cassian doesn’t get to find out, then, what Jyn was just doing, because Bodhi comes back around the corner into the elevator bay from the ACN offices in a hurry.
“You both need to come to the conference room, right away,” he says, and there’s no levity or friendliness whatsoever in his tone. He looks terrified. “Like, right now!”
Jyn looks back at Cassian, a million questions written over her face, and he inclines his head in the direction of Bodhi and their offices and whatever the hell is going on. They can figure their shit out later, he thinks, hoping she somehow gets that just from his expression. She nods, in comprehension, and even in the middle of a fight, he’s relieved at how well they can read each other. As they follow Bodhi and head afor the conference room, Cassian puts his hand on Jyn’s back, to guide her and to steady himself, and she doesn’t pull away.
-----
Something like six hours and an attempted FBI raid of the newsroom later, Cassian walks out of a meeting with Draven and Mon with a mercifully receding headache and some papers he needs to put on his desk for Monday before he can go home. He’s not sure how he’s going to relax and take his mind off of work for the evening once he leaves—it’s not every day that one of the junior staffers violates the Espionage Act and has to flee the country—but that’s what he was told to do by Mon. She claims she and Leia and Han, along with their legal department, are dealing with it and that the rest of the staff should get some rest and prepare themselves for next week, which is sure to be a shitshow—his wording, not hers.
As he walks through the bullpen towards his office, he reminds himself to text Jyn. Hopefully, she’s already gone home, but he hasn’t seen her for a few hours. When he last saw her, she was in a corner with Kay, their heads put together over something, which is the real sign things are bad, if those two are getting along. Then the almost-raid of the newsroom almost happened and in the aftermath, everyone had gone off to put out separate fires and he’d lost track of her. He doesn’t know if she’ll want to see him right now, since he’s fairly certain that, in spite of the work crisis, they’re still fighting, but he figures a text just to check in and see if she’s alright would probably be okay.
As he pushes the door to his office open, he realizes that texting her won’t be necessary because she’s already waiting for him. She’d been looking at her phone when he came in, but she turns her attention to him immediately, and even in the semi-darkness of the room, he can see the worry and exhaustion in her features.
“Hey,” he says, and it comes out like an exhale. He didn’t realize how badly he needed to see her until she was right in front of him.
“Hi,” she says, offering him a weak smile.
“Are you waiting for me?”
That sort of obvious question would normally get him an eye roll and a sarcastic response, but it’s been a weird day and everyone is a little off their game, so Jyn just nods, looking nervous.
“Yeah, Leia told me to go home for the night, so I thought I’d see what was going on with you before I left.”
“I’m heading out, as well,” he says, and it feels like they’ve never had a conversation before. It’s not their style to be this careful around each other, and it never has been, not even when they first met. It just doesn’t feel right. “Mon’s orders,” he adds, trying for a joking tone to get them back to normal.
Jyn nods, distracted, but doesn’t laugh or otherwise indicate that his attempt to lighten the mood worked at all. He’s about to try again, to say anything that will make this conversation more natural and easy, like things almost always are with them, when Jyn sighs, loudly, startling him.
“What are we supposed to do now?” She asks, despondently.
Cassian clears his throat, not sure if she’s talking about everything that’s happened at ACN today or if she’s talking about them and their relationship. It seems safer to focus on work, at the moment, though, so that’s what he does.
“I think we’re supposed to go home and get some rest and hope for the best,” he says, not sounding fully convinced himself. When Jyn just gives him an unimpressed look, he adds, more seriously, “We have to trust that the people we work with know what they’re doing, and that they’ll take care of it for us.”
“It’s not us I’m worried about,” Jyn says, bitterly.
“I meant the collective ‘us.’ Not just you and me.”
Jyn looks at him, then, watching him carefully. “And what about you and me?” She asks, quietly, her tone guarded. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“Like I said, we go home and—”
“But are we—?” She asks, and then stops herself. She gestures at him, frustrated by her inability to articulate her question. “Do we go—?”
“I’m not going to Queens tonight unless you expressly ask me to, Jyn,” he says, saving her the trouble of finding the right way to phrase it. “I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with you.”
She wrings her hands, not quite looking at him. “Even after everything that happened today?” She asks tentatively.
Cassian just barely suppresses a laugh at that. It would be the wrong thing to do right now, to laugh at her, but the idea she’s presenting is absurd. “ Especially after everything that happened today,” he says.
“But I—”
He holds up a hand to stop her. “Not here,” he says.
“We have to talk, Cassian.”
“I know,” he agrees. “Let’s talk about it on our way home. I just...I need to get out of here.”
Jyn makes a face as if she’s considering arguing with him about this, but she apparently reconsiders. Why she would want to spend any more time at the office on a Saturday they were supposed to have off is beyond him, but he can also admit that the prospect of actually talking through everything that’s happened today and figuring out what it means for them, as a couple, is pretty daunting. That’s why, when she finally nods her acquiescence, he holds out a hand to her and breathes a sigh of relief when she takes it. Things always work out so much better when they’re on the same side.
Walking out through the bullpen, most of the staff has already gone home, thankfully. There’s not much else they can do right now, anyways. In one of the conference rooms, Mon and Leia are having an intense discussion, which is only possible to see because whoever designed this building made the inexplicable decision to only use glass walls and doors. There are very few secrets at ACN, Cassian thinks, and squeezes Jyn’s hand. She gives him a small smile back, before waving goodbye with her free hand to Bodhi and Poe, who are talking in hushed tones at their desks while Bodhi also clicks around furiously on his computer, eyebrows drawn together in either concern, or concentration, or both.
“What are they—?” Jyn starts to ask.
“Some twitter fiasco created by another junior staffer,” Cassian answers before she can finish. Jyn gives him an alarmed look, so he continues his explanation. “They sent out some insensitive tweet in the middle of the night and then had the good sense to delete it, but apparently not quickly enough. Somebody screenshotted it, they got fired, and now Bodhi and Poe are cleaning up the whole mess.”
“How did I not hear about this?” She asks, astonished.
“In terms of disasters happening at ACN today, I don’t even think this one even qualified for the top three, so it didn’t make the rounds. And you know how Bodhi hates firing people. He probably didn’t want to talk about it.”
Jyn tsks in understanding. “Poor Bodhi.”
“Not exactly a banner day for the network in general,” Cassian says, as they arrive at the elevators.
That makes Jyn laugh, for whatever reason. “No, not exactly.”
They take the elevator down to the lobby in silence, in sharp contrast with their elevator ride earlier, back when they’d been arguing in front of Bodhi and had no idea what sort of drama awaited them in that meeting. Cassian knows that the things they were arguing about matter in the long run, but they don’t feel particularly important right now. Not compared to everything else that they’re dealing with at work. Not compared to how nice it is to be holding Jyn’s hand and going home with her after a long day.
They pause when they finally exit the building, standing on the sidewalk, trying to decide what to do next. It’s been one of those rare, wonderful summer days, where it was hot and humid earlier, but everything cooled off when the sun set. There’s even a nice breeze blowing and Jyn lets go of his hand so she can put on her jacket. When she’s finished, instead of taking her hand again, Cassian puts his arm around her shoulders and she happily leans into his embrace.
“Should we walk back to your place?” He asks, after pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“Sure. It’s a nice night for it,” Jyn says, and after the day they’ve had, there’s no room for exuberance, but she seems content enough by his side.
They start making their way back to Jyn’s apartment without saying anything else. For all they love to talk, it’s nice that they can also be quiet together and not feel like anything is missing, Cassian thinks to himself as they walk. It would be a lot more enjoyable, though, if he wasn't worried about what happened between them earlier and trying to talk about it without everything going to hell all over again. Then, suddenly, what he wants to say becomes perfectly clear to him. He can’t believe he didn’t realize it sooner.
“Jyn,” he says, without looking at her, not wanting to break the spell, “if you really want to get married, we can go to City Hall tomorrow.”
Jyn is quiet for a long moment, processing what he’s said. “Tomorrow is Sunday, Cassian,” she finally says. “City Hall isn’t open.”
“Monday morning, then. Whatever,” he says, and when he glances over at her, she looks like she’s going to argue with him, so he keeps going. “‘Tomorrow’ was just supposed to mean, ‘whenever you want.’”
“I don’t want to strong arm you into it,” she says, giving him a searching look.
“You’re not. You couldn’t.”
“I couldn’t?”
“You can’t ‘strong arm’ me into doing something that I want to do,” he says, pulling her closer into his side. “I want to marry you someday. I just didn’t think it was going to be eight months into our relationship, that’s all.”
“Because you want me to meet your family first?” Jyn asks, cautiously.
“I was actually just trying to trip you up with that—”
“So, you don’t want me to meet your family?”
“I’d prefer to marry you first, honestly,” Cassian replies. “That way, when you see how crazy my family is, you’ll already be stuck with me.”
Jyn smiles at that, a small, hesitant thing. “I’m already stuck with you,” she says, softly, and his heart honestly skips a beat.
“Spoken like someone who’s never met my family,” he jokes, rather than addressing what she just said.
“They can’t be that bad,” she says.
“I have these two cousins—they’re twin brothers—and they have all these ideas for weird businesses they want to start and they will ask you to invest.”
“Cassian—”
“My abuela is definitely going to call you by my high school girlfriend’s name,” he continues, ignoring her interruption.
“Is that the last time you had a serious girlfriend?” Jyn asks, caught somewhere between concerned and amused.
“The last one she remembers, at least,” Cassian says. “She’s pretty senile. And my mom—well, she’s going to love you.”
Jyn laughs, burying her face in his shirt. “No, she’s not,” she says, once she’s recovered.
“She will,” he says. “Eventually.”
“I have been told that I grow on people. Like a fungus.”
“Or a vine, maybe?”
“Vines don’t grow on people, Cassian,” Jyn points out, needlessly.
“That’s why you have the PhDs in this relationship,” he says, kissing her hair. “And my family will love you, because I love you. I’m not worried.”
“You should be,” she says. “If I have to meet your family, you have to meet mine and my family is Saw.”
“I’ve met Saw before.”
“Asking him a single question at a press conference one time seven years ago is not the same as meeting him, especially when you’re sleeping with his goddaughter now.”
“I’m doing a lot more than sleeping with his goddaughter,” Cassian interrupts, petulantly.
“Don’t say that when you meet him!” Jyn cries, swatting his arm.
“I just meant…we’re serious! We’re not friends with benefits, or something casual like that. I’m not just sleeping with you. I’m in love with you.”
“That won’t impress Saw.”
“From what I can tell, nothing impresses Saw,” he says. “He’s terrifying.”
“Yeah but he’s family,” Jyn says, with a shrug that jostles Cassian’s arm.
“I notice you’re not reassuring me that Saw will love me eventually, the way I did for you with my family.”
“I want you to meet him, because he’s important to me. But he doesn’t get a vote when it comes to my love life. If he doesn’t love you, too bad. I do. You’re permanent. He can get used to it.”
Cassian makes a big show of looking at his watch. “Where was that romantic speech eight hours ago when you first proposed?” He asks, and Jyn bumps him with her shoulder in retaliation.
“Shut up,” she says, looking at her feet. “I wasn’t actually proposing.”
“Did we not just agree to get married?”
“Yeah, someday.”
“But not soon?” He asks, confused.
“Whenever we feel like it,” Jyn says, shrugging again but there’s nothing feigned about it. “We have the rest of our lives, after all.”
Cassian stops them on the sidewalk, and turns Jyn to look at him. “I think that still technically makes me your fiancé,” he says, sliding his hands up to frame her face. “Since we’re getting married someday.”
Jyn rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling too. “I guess. Technically ,” she says. “But I want all the credit for proposing, then.”
“We can’t tell anyone our actual proposal story,” he says, laughing. “Ever.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t have people knowing that I tricked you into marrying me by accidentally committing a white collar crime.”
Jyn scrunches up her nose, realizing how that sounds. “Good point,” she agrees. “I feel like other people aren’t going to understand how romantic that is.”
At that, he finally gives in and kisses her, not caring that they’re in public and this is exactly the sort of thing Jyn doesn’t want the paparazzi catching her doing. She doesn’t seem to mind right now, though, because she presses up onto her toes and kisses him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. They probably shouldn’t carry on like this where anyone could potentially see them, but it’s not that thought that actually stops Cassian. It’s something else entirely.
“Wait,” he says, pulling back. “Should I buy you a ring?”
Jyn looks perplexed by the question, or maybe just annoyed that he’s not still kissing her. “You don’t have to,” she says, finally.
“I mean, I know how much you hate diamonds.”
“Do you know the markup on diamonds? It’s ridiculous. They are so cheap, and yet they’ve been marketed so well—”
“Jyn, honey. I’ve heard this speech before,” Cassian says, kissing her forehead.
“I know. I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head a little, as if to clear her thoughts. “I don’t want an engagement ring.”
“You’re sure?”
“I am,” Jyn says, and he doesn’t think she’s pretending. “Besides, I’m the one who proposed. I should get you a ring.”
Cassian laughs. “I also don’t want an engagement ring.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he says, kissing her again. “I have everything I want already.”
“So corny,” Jyn says, laughing, but she kisses him back anyway, and that’s what matters.
-----
In the end, it’s Han and Leia who have the City Hall wedding at a moment’s notice, and it’s perfect for them, Cassian thinks, as he watches the ceremony with Jyn by his side. He hasn’t even slipped up and called her his fiancée at the office yet, which is astonishing because, according to their friends and coworkers, subtlety is not their strong suit. Their discretion is even more impressive considering that Jyn ultimately did find something shiny she could give him to celebrate their engagement: a key.