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Infertility was meant to last forever for her.
Whether it was Pennywise's influence, or genetics, Beverly eventually accepted it. She was never sure of motherhood to begin with. Her own mother up and abandoned her when Beverly had been too young. Leaving her in the clutches of Alvin Marsh. He blamed his daughter for Elfrida Marsh taking the chance to flee his abuse. Beverly just wished she took her with.
(Then again, she never would have become a Loser. Or met Ben.)
Ben—god, Ben, he never blamed her. He was certain about his similar case of infertility after his physician tests him.
That's why Beverly stares down nonplussed at the medical paperwork from Dr. Arnold, her vision blurring from hot, sudden tears. One of the nurses clucks her tongue sympathetically, beaming and passing the Kleenex box to Beverly. Congratulations, Momma. You did so good.
*
Ben comes home from a trip in Houston, Texas in another day. Just enough time for Beverly to plan.
"Bev!" he yells out, slipping out his overcoat. His widening, boyish grin as sweet, as innocent as Beverly first remembers seeing.
They went back to Derry High's back-entrance stairs as adults. Only once after defeating Pennywise. Ben dropped to a knee all the same, proposing to her as she stood at the very top step. All of the summery sunlight illuminated Ben's dark hair and his earnest, loving features.
Beverly's insides warm. Her palm flattens mindfully over the littlest belly swell through Beverly's chemise.
"Welcome home," she murmurs, dropping her hand before Ben glimpses up.
This is more nerve-wrecking than Beverly thought. And it doesn't help that she's been reading up on how pregnancies in women over forty years carries more risks. Birth defects. Complications in recovering from surgery. Beverly's heart quickens.
No—no, she's not going to put that on her child. Her and Ben's first child.
Joey runs past Beverly's leg, like his ass is on fire, whining and howling in excitement.
"Hey, buddy! Hey! Hey!" Ben greets his dog, patting himself and allowing Joey to leap up on his hindquarters, paws clawing into Ben's henley. Beverly was sure to stuff Joey into the custom printed, dog t-shirt right after Ben's call from the airport. "What's this? Did Beverly dress you up—"
OFFICIAL TOY TESTER
FOR MY NEW SIBLING
DUTY BEGINS
SEPTEMBER 2018
She remains on the other end of the hallway, apprehensively crossing her arms. Beverly's teeth gnaw on her thumbnail.
Ben finally looks up, dumbstruck. "Are you serious?" he murmurs, even more softly than her. His dark eyes so round. Beverly's nausea returns, more due to her stress than the baby. "You're not serious… Beverly, are you serious?"
"Yes." Beverly nods, trying to not sound melancholy. "Yes, I'm serious."
"Really?"
"Really."
His expression goes from brooding to bright in an instant. Beverly's lips quiver. She starts crying, in deep, relieved heaves, feeling Ben's arms embrace her. Ben pulls her in, quietly sobbing Beverly's name in her ear, over and over, like a reverie.
They'll never be lonely with their own family.
She's accepted this.
*