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“You’re here. You made it. I can hardly believe my eyes.”
Phineas looked haggard as he emerged from the holding cell, hair tousled and unkempt even more so than usual. He seemed to be favouring his left wrist, but all Captain Neo cared about was seeing him in one piece.
“You didn’t have to do this, you know,” He continued. “Risk your life just to save mine.”
He sounded strangely calm, so different from his usual ravings about the Hope and the Board. It was almost jarring to her, as Neo realized with sudden clarity how she had kept this man on a pedestal. Had revered him as her savior and a genius doing whatever it took to save Halcyon. But now he was out from behind the glass, where he had been protected like an antique porcelain doll she wasn’t allowed to play with.
“And you! You lunatic!” Phineas scolded, “You broke into the Board’s own fortress just to rescue one doddering old man? You are absolutely out of your mind, and I can’t begin to thank you enough.”
Neo grinned and reached out without thinking, placing her hand on his shoulder like she had never been able to do all this time. The slight firmness of protruding bone could be felt even through the leather jacket Phineas wore.
“You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Phineas.” She said gently, squeezing his shoulder to reassure herself this was real.
“I know my friend. I know. And now, it’s finally over. The Board’s finished. It’s only a matter of time before the entire system slips from their grasp.”
“Yes,” Neo nodded, “Things are finally looking up.”
“Perhaps,” Phineas replied, shaking his head. “But you and I are going to have to work harder than ever to save Halcyon. I’m afraid the situation is far worse than any of us ever anticipated.”
“That… Sounds bad.” Neo said, pressing her lips into a thin line. “But first things first I think we should get out of here, there are still some guards around.”
“No! This is important, the Earth... “ Phineas stopped suddenly and staggered sideways, on a direct collision course for the floor. Neo reached out her other hand and managed to steady him just in time.
“Phineas are you alright?!” Neo asked, sliding an arm around his waist for support.
“My apologies, I seem to be a bit… lightheaded.” His eyes were screwed shut, and he brought up a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Alright, back to the ship it is. Parvati, some help?”
The mechanic jumped slightly upon hearing her name.
“Oh of course captain!” She exclaimed, coming up beside them and putting Phineas’ other arm over her shoulders.
“Guessing I take the lead?” Ellie asked with a smirk, before turning to walk out the door.
Getting back to the ship was easier than the captain had expected. The Iconoclasts, MSI, and the crew of the Groundbreaker had all done a great job of cleaning up the prison, and formed an impromptu escort around the three of them as they made their way out of the facility.
“Good to see you alive and well captain.” ADA chimed upon their arrival inside the Unreliable. Her announcement must have been heard by the rest of the crew, as there was a sudden thudding of feet down the stairs.
“You’re alive! I knew you could do it!” Of course it was Felix first down the stairs, but the vicar and Nyoka were not far behind.
"Alright everyone outta the way, our friend here needs a little sit-down." Ellie barked, and the rest of Neo's companions parted to allow them up the stairs.
They deposited Phineas on one of the couches in the crew quarters and Ellie went off to grab her med kit. Neo stood awkwardly at his side.
"Can I get you anything?" She asked, hovering a hand near his shoulder but not quite touching him again.
"No I'm fine… or, well… a glass of water perhaps?" He looked slightly embarrassed, but Neo couldn't understand why.
"Of course!" She said, stepping towards the sink. Vicar Max beat her to it, swiftly filling a glass at the sink and bringing it over.
"Thank you."
Ellie returned then, med kit in hand.
"Alright everyone clear out, I need some space." She said, shooting the captain specifically a piercing glare.
Neo jumped, and opened her mouth to protest. She quickly thought better of it, realizing suddenly that Phineas would probably appreciate some privacy. He looked annoyed on the surface, but remembering his earlier embarrassment it was likely a facade.
"Alright everyone, listen to Ellie. I'm going to get us in orbit." She didn't like how vulnerable she felt on the grounded ship. They may have had a victory, but in her time in Halcyon Neo had learned to be cautious.
Ten minutes later Ellie entered the cockpit, where Neo had been facing the window and tapping her foot impatiently.
"I checked him over. He's just stressed out and dehydrated, that's what caused the dizziness. I also wrapped his sprained wrist."
Neo let out a sigh of relief. Maybe she was being a bit dramatic about the situation, but after seeing his last video call and finding his lab destroyed, she couldn't believe they had found him perfectly fine. She had been so worried that they wouldn't make it in time.
"That's really good to hear." She nodded, reassuring herself.
"He's lucky," Ellie chuckled, "getting out of Tartarus with nothing more than a sprained wrist is something. It's all thanks to us though." Ellie shot two finger guns at the captain, who just smirked and rolled her eyes. "He needs to rest up, but he'll be fine in a few days."
"Phineas can rest in my room until we get him back to his lab." Neo offered without thinking.
Ellie turned to leave, but paused and looked back at Neo, a mischievous grin on her face.
"You're really soft on that scientist aren't you?"
"W-what?!" Neo exclaimed, eyes bugging out at Ellie. She wouldn't have seen that question coming in a million years.
"Isn't he kind of old for you though?" Ellie smirked and raised her hands, "Not that I'm judging."
"Oh shut up Ellie. I'm not… He's… Don't be so immature!"
"My, my. What happened to your usual golden tongue?" Ellie teased, giving a final wink before leaving the captain alone in the cockpit.
Neo sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. Is that really how she came off? Lovesick for the scientist that had pretty much kidnapped her and shot her into space? Her first instinct was to deny it, but she wasn't really sure what she felt. She knew she felt some sort of connection since meeting him. He had saved her and planned on saving the rest of the Hope's colonists after all. She looked up to him as a fellow scientist and an intellectual. But love? Attraction? There hasn't been time to think about those things. Sure she'd helped Parvati out with her crush, but other people's feelings were so much easier to understand than your own. Maybe that was why Ellie has been able to call her out so easily.
Even if she did like him, would it matter? Did she want to pursue a relationship right now? She doubted he was even interested in her anyway.
Well there was time to figure that out. As Phineas had said, there was lots of work to be done.
It seemed he wanted that work to be done right now, as Phineas perked up as soon as Neo entered the crew quarters.
"There you are! As I said, there is much to talk about."
"I know," Neo replied, "but you need rest, doctor's orders."
"Bah!" Phineas scoffed, "I can rest back at my lab, there's something sinister going on that we must discuss!"
He sure had gotten better since she'd seen him last, now sounding much like his old self.
"Ok we can talk, but on the condition that we talk in my quarters and you take a nap right after."
Phineas stared at her with a look of distaste.
"You are treating me much like a child you know." He grumbled.
"If you don't like it then stop acting like one." Neo scolded, grabbing him by the arm. "Come on."
Phineas let out a huff, but let himself be led into the captain's quarters. Neo pushed him to sit down on her bed, and tried not to blush while pulling over her desk chair. Seated comfortably with her fingers laced in her lap, Neo looked at Phineas intently.
"So what is this important information you are so eager to share?"
"No need for the sarcasm miss Neo." Phineas' mouth twisted downwards. “I’m sure you of all people will find this news distressing.”
That sobered her up pretty quickly.
“Earth has gone dark. We haven’t received a single message in three years. There’s been no communication, no signals, nothing. Two years ago, the Earth Directorate’s frigate disappeared on their way back to Earth. We don’t know what they discovered when they arrived, or if they arrived at all!”
Neo was silent, trying to process the information. Something had happened to her home planet, the place where she was born, and the friends and family she left behind lived. It was the cradle of humanity, where their entire species had learned to reach for the stars.
“What… What do you think happened?” She asked.
“I don’t know what happened,” Phineas replied with a shake of his head. “But something must have gone horribly wrong. I don’t know why Earth’s gone silent. I don’t even know if earth exists anymore.”
Neo winced, and Phineas’ face softened.
“I’m sorry, that was insensitive. Earth probably means more to you than anyone else in the colony at the moment, it is where you were born after all.”
“No… Don’t worry about it,” Neo muttered, “Everyone I ever knew probably passed away of natural causes more than three years ago anyway.” It was something she hadn’t liked to think about, but now it brought her some comfort.
Phineas nodded and gave her a sympathetic look.
“We have no connection back to Earth, and return is likely impossible. We’re completely alone out here.”
“So, how do you know all of this?” Neo inquired.
“I heard it from Akande herself.” Was his answer, which surprised Neo quite a bit. She thought back to Akande, dead on the floor of her office in Tartarus. Neo had tried to talk her into standing down, but in the end it hadn’t been possible. “She tried to pressure me into joining her side, you see. Tried to make me realize that all hope is lost, and that we are alone. She was half right. We are alone, and we’re going to have to fend for ourselves, because there’s no telling what happened to Earth.”
“I… I see.” Neo leaned forward and rested her face in her hands. No help was coming to save them. It was really up to her, Phineas, and the other colonists on the Hope to save Halycon from crumbling in on itself.
The thought of the other colonist’s on the Hope reminded her of what she had seen on Phineas’ terminal. The experiments, the gruesome death, the suffering he had put on the colonists that could have so easily been herself.
“I know about the other colonists Phineas.” She stated as neutrally as she could.
There was nothing more than a quirk of the eyebrow to express Phineas’ surprise. He took a deep breath, before slowly beginning to speak.
“I wasn’t trying to hide the truth from you. But after all you’ve done, I owe you an explanation.”
Neo nodded, face stern.
“Yes, I experimented on the Hope’s colonists. Each of my experiments ended in catastrophic failure. Each of my subjects died in agony. You are my first and only success. I didn’t tell you about the others, because… I didn’t want to burden you. My failures are my own to bear, not yours.”
She could hear the grief rasping in his voice, and feel the pain in his heart radiating in waves. Hearing real emotion from him was… nice. As much as it made a lump rise in her throat and tears begin to prick at her eyes.
She thought about the other colonists who had died. Had they left families back on Earth? Had they kissed their mother goodbye while believing themselves to be setting out on a grand adventure? Had they been smarter, stronger, more capable than she had been? Could they have saved the colony, and prevent the suffering she herself had not been able to?
That train of thought was not helpful. And as painful as it was to know the truth, she knew what Phineas had done was necessary. She quickly wiped her eyes before the tears fell, and swallowed the lump in her throat.
“I forgive you, Phineas.” She said softly, looking into the depths of his golden eyes.
“Thank you,” He said, eyes widening in response to her easily given forgiveness. “Perhaps, in time, I’ll learn to forgive myself.”
Neo felt a pang in her chest at that. Maybe it was fair for him to have to live with the guilt, but she couldn’t help pitying him regardless.
“My apologies. I need to get a hold of myself. We’ve far more pressing issues to worry about right now.”
Neo watched the emotion she had finally seen from Phineas begin to sink below the surface once again. She wasn’t having it.
“There are always more pressing issues Phineas, but people need time to grieve… To process things. I mean, in all these years working on reviving the colonists have you ever taken a moment to just stop and reflect?”
Phineas looked down at his knees.
“There isn’t time…”
“I told you, there is never time. It’s just something you have to do.” In a bold move, she stood from the chair and moved to sit beside him on the bed. “You’re always hiding. Behind screens, or bulletproof glass. I get that you couldn’t trust me at first, but the first time I really saw you face-to-face since I was barely conscious in an escape pod, was only an hour ago. You’re cautious with people, I can understand that. But you don’t have to hide from me Phineas, I respect you more than anyone else in the solar system.”
“You... give me much more credit than I deserve.” Phineas said, shaking his head. “I don’t know how you can forgive me. I know you were disturbed by the experiments the board was doing, I don’t see how mine were any different.”
“Because…” Neo paused, he was right. “...Because I couldn’t see past my own biases, Phineas. I couldn’t believe the board might be experimenting on people for the sake of the colony, even if it was in a misguided way.”
Phineas didn’t look satisfied with that.
“You only took a percentage of the Dimethyl Sulfoxide because you weren’t cruel enough to let the board’s subjects die. Wasn’t that the right choice?”
“I didn’t take all the chemical because I was selfish,” Neo admitted, beginning to get frustrated with explaining herself “I couldn’t bear the thought of more deaths on my hands, that’s why I didn’t let them die, not because it was the right thing to do. You were braver Phineas, you made the sacrifices and lived with the pain. I was a coward. Knowing how dire the situation is now, I wish I had taken it all. What is the death of a few test subjects who wouldn’t even feel it, when compared to the starvation of an entire colony!” She realized she was shouting and stopped, feeling her hands shake against her thighs. “None of us are saints. We are all just trying our best.”
Looking to Phineas, he seemed stunned by her admission.
“It seems In my effort to not burden you with the knowledge of my experiments, I failed to realize how much of a burden the rest of your tasks were. I always saw myself as the one who would save the colony, and you as a helper. Now I realize that our roles were reversed.” He turned to look at her where she sat beside him, and Neo met his eyes. “I am sorry for all I have put you through Neo, I only wish I could make it up to you.”
Neo couldn’t stop the slight smile that graced her lips.
“I appreciate it Phineas, but you don’t owe me anything. Luck or otherwise, you saved my life. You’re my friend.”
Phineas’ eyes turned downwards, and the exhaustion from earlier began to crawl back up his face.
“I can’t tell you how long it’s been since someone dared to call me their friend. Well, 35 years or more I suppose. Maybe you are right about me… hiding from people.”
Neo reached over and took his hand in hers. Phineas shivered as she rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, the thin skin sliding over bone. She wondered if he’d never had anyone touch him kindly in those 35 years. There was a thrill in being the one to break his isolation.
“You’re safe now,” She breathed, “You don’t have to hide anymore, I’ll protect you.”
Something happened then that Neo didn’t expect, Phineas broke. It started with the shaking then his hand flew to his mouth, then the unmistakable sound of a sob ripping through him.
Letting go of his hand she threw her arms around him, pulling his face to her shoulder. It wasn’t the most intense of crying, rather he just seemed to fall apart and collapse into her. The crying was but a side effect. Neo wondered how long he had bottled up the pain and let it grow within him without release.
She let a hand slide into his wiry hair as gently as she could, reveling in the feeling of being so close to another human again. It was so cathartic for her as well, as she had not found anyone else in Halcyon she felt comfortable enough to get this close to.
Phineas began to pull away only a few minutes later. There was wetness smeared under his eyes, which were now bloodshot from crying.
“I’m sorry…” There he went apologizing again, but Neo felt no need to chastise him for it. Instead she placed her palm against his cheek, and wiped away the tears with her thumb.
When they made eye contact Neo realized their faces were only inches apart, and her stomach lurched in anticipation. As if drawn in by some unseen force she leaned in closer, and when Phineas didn’t didn’t move away, she closed the gap.
His lips were chapped and dry from his incarceration, but it didn’t stop the rush of endorphins Neo felt from kissing him. She kept it chaste, even as her body yearned for her to do more. He was fragile, they both were.
When she pulled away Phineas’ eyes remained closed for a second before opening with a startled expression.
“What… What was that?”
“A kiss.” She replied dumbly.
Phineas let out a sound that could only be described as somewhere between a croak and a wheeze.
“But why?!”
“Because I love you.” She said, finally understanding her feelings wish a swell of satisfaction.
Phineas’ brows raised and he looked around the room, as if someone was going to pop out of the walls and tell him this was all a big joke.
“That’s insane. You’re- you are acting insane.”
“No I’m not. You’re just saying that because you don’t think you deserve to be loved.”
“What? I’m an old man, and you’re…” He gestured wildly at her.
“28 plus 70 years old?” She stated, “Unless you are much older than you look, I’m pretty sure I’m older than you.”
“That doesn’t count!” Phineas yelled, “This isn’t the time for jokes!”
“It’s not a joke!” It was Neo’s turn to yell, “Just… Just… Get it through your thick skull already! I care about you! I love you! It’s OK if you don’t like me back, but don’t dismiss this because of some preconceived notions of what is okay and what’s not, what you deserve and what you don’t.”
Phineas sighed and put his face down in his right hand, leaning on one knee.
“I do like you, Neo. As to what those feelings are, it’s hard for me to think about these days.”
Neo took a deep breath to try and slow her racing heart. She wanted to listen.
“You are the first person I’ve cared about on a personal level in a long time. I worried about you every time you left my lab. I knew the things I sent you to do needed to be done, but the more I got to know you the more I hated to send you into danger. I wasn’t just afraid of being unable to save the rest of the colonists, I was afraid of being alone again.”
A warmth blossomed inside her as Phineas admitted he cared. She’d known it on some level, she’d always been perceptive of people’s emotions, but to hear it from him was all the more important.
“I suppose I’m very lucky you were the one I plucked from the Hope that day. The so called “attributes” listed in the system really do nothing to show who that person really is.”
Neo bumped her forehead to his temple and sighed.
“I was pretty lucky too. It hasn’t been easy out here, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Phineas said, and slowly let himself lean back against her.
“I know there is a lot of work to be done,” Neo stated, “but we can get it done together. We are stronger as a team. You woke me up from my 70 year nap, so there is no getting rid of me now.”
Phineas chuckled.
“I wouldn’t want to.”